Jasmine's Wish

By Cindy J. Smith

From a very young age, Jasmine was a captive audience for my poems.  As she grew older, she was a willing critic.  She always wanted me to publish. In fact, she sent one of my poems out to a contest.  Excited when it was accepted for publication, she believed it proved she was right.  Well, I disagreed until after her passing. Finally, my daughter's wish is fulfilled. And I feel the warmth of her love as she celebrates winning.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cindy J. Smith
• Release date: Apr 2, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386332817

Cindy J. Smith

I grew up in the country of Upstate New York and now reside in the boonies of Midwestern Indiana. I am a coffee-addicted truck driver (as if there was any other kind). I have written poetry all my life. The topics and poems just come into my head. I try to write in the first person for most of them. I do this as people are more apt to relate to something when they are not feeling like they are the target. Some of my poems are true, either for me or for someone I know. I believe in magic and that life is worth living. I hope that my words will touch every reader in some way. I want everyone to open their eyes and really see what is before them.

Book preview

DEDICATION

I dedicate this boxset to my daughter Jasmine. I may have given her life, but her love and belief in me gave me the strength and will to live.  While she was here I would do anything for her...except publish my poems. They are all a little too late, but I know she is beside me smiling because she finally got her way.

My love for you will never die

Memory tears will never dry

You're in my heart and that's the reason why

I still have the strength to try

VOICES IN MY HEAD

Jasmine’s Wish, Part 1

DEDICATION

These poems are dedicated in memory to my Daughter, Jasmine:

Our beautiful flower

Just beginning to bloom,

Loved and cherished,

Picked by God too soon

And my wonderful Granddaughter, Valerie:

May you always keep looking for the silver lining behind dark clouds.

Remember through all the storms in your life, God needs rain to make a rainbow.

Your Mother and I will always love you.

MY POEMS

As floating words come to my mind

I quickly write them with my pen

I probably should get a life

But what would I have to do then?

I have wondered where they come from

(My sanity is NOT at stake)

Since they go in all directions

I never know what poem they’ll make

Some of them are so full of life

With colors, joy and love complete

While others are so very sad

Painting despair and gloom so deep

’Til they started coming to me

I just never realized

There are so many emotions

Always seesawing through our lives

I will not quit my day job

Nor put my head up in the clouds

I guess I’ll try to be content

Writing these varied poems for now.

PEOPLE IN MY LIFE

JASMINE

When you were still little

I was always there

To give you a kiss

Or just show you I care

You had never needed

To make a demand

To get some comfort

Or have me hold your hand

You never had need of

A formal request

For me to feed you

Or help you get dressed

When you wanted to know

The wheres and the whys

I was there to help

You had no need to cry

Now that you are older

You don’t seem to see

The person needing

Sometimes it is just me

If I ask you to work

Or just lend a hand

You act like it’s such

An excessive demand

Next time I ask you, please

Try and remember

Times you needed me

You were refused never

Remember I Love You

Remember I Care

And no matter what

I will Always Be There

VALERIE

V for Valentine, day of your birth

A for Angel, our cherub on earth

L for Love, we have much for you

E for Eagerness, try something new

R for Realistic, to approach all things

I for Intelligence, know truth when it rings

E for Empathy, for all you meet

Valerie, my granddaughter, so treasured, so sweet

MY ANGEL

My angel in heaven

Reach down from the skies

Help me to dry

These tears in my eyes

I miss you so much

It is so hard to cope

As this dark emptiness

Takes away all my hope

Let me hear your soft voice

In the songs the bird sings

And with the gentle breeze

Feel the embrace of your wings

Let me see your sweet smile

In the moonbeams at night

And find peace in your love

With the dawn’s morning light

EAGLE SCOUT

Back when you were a young boy,

You joined a club to have fun

They taught you by example

Love and trust to rely on.

Less beautiful the world

Grew as time marched along

Your complete trust in God’s love

Gave courage, made you strong

Now you’ve achieved a dream

You held deep in your heart

Letting your conscience lead you

In a world falling apart

Your family and dear friends

Look toward you with pride

They are lucky to know you

And the man you are inside

It would’ve been a lot easier

To just seek pleasure each day

Living your code of ethics

You showed us a better way

Our world is now filling up

With hatred, ugliness, greed

I’m so glad there are still some

Using God’s love to succeed

Thank you for reminding me

To trust always in the truth

To keep seeking the right path

Find the courage of my youth

FAMILY CONFLICT

We’ve been together, dear

For several years

We’ve shared joy and laughter

And many a tear

I’ve seen the hurt in your eyes

That you try to hide

When thinking of family

Yours not on your side

Finally they said they’re proud

Of the adult you

Somehow, I don’t think they saw

That you really grew

You can ask them for help now

And they do give it

But when it comes to your life

They want to live it

I wish you had closeness

Like my family

Sharing with you love and strength

Not to replace me

The life you have isn’t your own

It is part mine too

So I should have a voice in what

You decide to do

When life threw you and I curves

Our dreams put at stake

WE discussed both sides and chose

The road we would take

Now for our life decisions

You go from our home

Letting others choose our path

While I sit alone

You need to stand and show them

You aren’t their teenager

You deserve their love, respect

For the man you are

A FAMILY

I thought that a family

Should be so very much more

Than a small group of people

Living behind the same door

I believed they all shared

Love, laughter and sorrow

Always working together

For a brighter tomorrow

Like when things weren’t important

As they appear to be now

When people made their living

With their hands or with plows

When their word was their honor

And was guaranteed with pride

Never looking for loopholes

Behind which they could hide

Mostly they dreamed of finding

Honesty, respect and love

To share with friends, family

Looking for help from above

We have so many more things

Stuck behind our locked doors

But it appears that the love

Just is not there anymore

TRUE LOVE

I can close my eyes

Return to the day

When your smiling face

First looked my way

My heart still melts

From a remembered kiss

The memory always

Fills me with true bliss

Our first warm embrace

Your loving touch

To me these things

Mean so very much

You are my true love

The holder of my heart

The keeper of my dreams

My missing part

GOOD-BYE

The winds of change are blowing cold

Within my world today.

My dreams of love and happiness

Have all been drawn away.

No longer can I feel the warmth

From his once gentle touch.

My heart now aches within my chest.

Oh, I miss him so much!

Where has the caring tenderness

Gone from this old life?

What happened to the vows we made

Joining as man and wife?

Hindsight shows so clearly now

It’s been coming for a while.

I got lost in fun and cheer

Missed the lie behind the smile

GROWING UP

At what time and date will you finally see

That living in the past is really no way to be?

At what age will you finally discover

We only enjoy life by sharing with each other?

How much time will pass in your chemical blur

Before you can see that you have caused so much hurt?

How many days until you admit you know

The drugged face in the mirror is ready to grow?

This life that you have will not last forever

And your reliving the past will bring changes-never.

I won’t be brought into your seas of despair.

I believe in this life and there is none for me there.

You must try to wake up; just live for today.

Tomorrow may not come and yesterday’s gone away.

There’s enough trouble in this short life of yours

Without you looking around and inventing some more.

Take each day as given, problems one by one,

Then that face in the mirror will tell you you have won!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE

Today is your birthday

It is finally here!!!

Yes, it really has been

Another full year.

You are not quite as young

But you keep it just fine.

You’re not getting older,

You are aging like wine.

The dark brown of your hair

Is turning gray in spots.

(In many other places,

You find hair you have not!)

The twinkle in your eyes

Is from the contacts you wear.

And instead of laugh lines,

You now have wrinkles there.

Your hearing is going,

There is no doubt about it.

Only hear a whisper

When somebody shouts it!

You are not quite as spry,

You’re getting a mite slow.

For bending at the knees

Has become a No Go.

You spent time working out

And, I guess you still do.

However, ten-mile runs

Are now walks across rooms.

You watch sports on TV,

You just sit lots nearer.

And you use the remote

To hear the scores clearer.

You always wrote long lists

Of those things you should do.

But, now you must write lists

To find your main lists, too

You took great vacations

A lot when you were young.

Now your mind is on them

You miss it when it’s gone!

You went out with your friends

Nights partying nonstop.

Now you stay at home and

You’re awake till nine, tops!

Bed was not for sleeping

In your young years long past.

Now before your bed time,

You take two or three naps!

But, look on the bright side.

It’s taken a long time

To get in this shape.

Today you turned 35!!!!!

HEARTACHE (for Sanjuana)

I remember the day I looked in your eyes

How I loved you I finally realized

You were my safe harbor during my life storms

Your love, patience and strength kept me safe and warm

No matter how bad my days seemed to be

I knew during the night you would comfort me

But, now that you are gone from this life on earth

It is so hard to find anything of worth

You’re still here by my side as you’ve been always

I still love you so much; I’m lonely these days

I miss your sweet smile and your soft voice so much

My whole being just aches for your loving touch

You’re at peace with God in heaven above

The breeze in the trees whispers to me your love

Help me remember all the good times we shared

All the little things you did to show you cared

Let me feel your love in the moonbeams at night

And see your eye twinkle in dawn’s morning light

Let me hear your voice in the wind and the rain

Let the raindrops wash away some of this pain

Help me feel your presence around me so near

’til I’m with you in heaven for all eternity, dear

MY LOVE

I just take for granted

You’ll always be with me

A shoulder to lean on

No need for company

You're my escape from the hate

The worries of the world

My boat to cross rough seas

And reach the peaceful shores

My love, it grows daily

Troubles fly when you smile

I know that together

We’ll survive all trials

For our love gives me hope

In this world of despair

That all humanity

Will learn to love and share

HUBIN

In the few years I’ve known you

You’ve become my love, my friend

An important part of me

Someone on whom I can depend

You give me reason to hope

When ev’rything seems to go wrong

When I feel weak and confused

You guide and help me to stay strong

When I don’t believe in me

And try to give up on my dreams

You tell me I can do it

And then I feel like I have wings

I write a lot of verses

They seem to float inside my mind

Words to describe how I feel

Are the very ones I can’t find

So, Honey let me tell you

You are a very special man

I give you my heart and soul

And I’ll love you until the end

JEFF GORDON FAN

He has on his Gordon shirt

And his DuPont baseball cap

Model Chevy 24

Is with the remote on his lap

Sits on the edge of his chair

Waits for the start of the race

Wondering how long it will take

HIS Jeff Gordon to set the pace

Engines have all been started

Crowds cheering above the noise

As drivers all stare at the flag

The green one is all set and poised

Flag is dropped, the cars speed off

Race has finally begun

Cars going around in circles

Fans listening to engines hum

He hollers as his driver

Finally passes—the lead!

Gordon got his five extra points

You know, that’s really all he needs

Three hundred more laps to go

Jeff’s fan loudly screams and shouts

Cars make it through scheduled pits

Come on, Jeff, you must be first out!

Someone passes Gordon by

24’s losing ground fast

What mistake did Jeff’s crew make

During the pit stop he made last?

Oh,no! off his seat again

Gordon’s headed for a crash

He swerves quickly to the inside

Alright, he has made it past

The laps are running out now

Jeff’s fan’s face starts to sag

Wait! Gordon just regained the lead

Yes! He takes the checkered flag

Hollering, he leaves his seat

Gordon’s won another race

The whole town could be lit up

By this Gordon fan’s smiling face

LONG DISTANCE VALENTINE

The warmth of your smile

Pleasure of your kiss

When you’re gone all week

It’s these that I miss

We talk everyday

Through telephone wires

To keep our love strong

And fan our home fires

When I’m so lonely

I just close my eyes

I can almost feel

You here by my side

So, though you are gone

On this Valentine’s Day

My heart is with you

While you’re far away

Distance makes it hard

I know that is true

But you shouldn’t doubt

I always love you

Time spent together

Sure isn’t very long

But how we use it

Will keep our love strong

This time we’re apart

Won’t last forever

Soon we’ll be able

To love together

So, be careful darling

On this special day

Feel my love with you

As you go on your way

LOVE CHANGES

I remember the day that I first met you

How into my throat my lonely heart just flew

I felt I had found myself a long lost friend

Who would share my life until the very end

Later I discovered that you were married

All my hearts desires I quickly buried

I watched from afar wishing you happiness

Feeling your pain as your troubles progressed

To you I offered my help when there was need

Asking nothing in return in word or deed

We’ve been married four years, together for five

Sometimes I wonder how my love has survived

We would work together in the beginning

And in the long run, we ended up winning

In the last few years, you have taken great pride

In looking at everything from the darker side

Not a thing seems to please you or bring happiness

But the few moments for a sexual caress

I need to be happy a little each day

I don’t like feeling I must watch what I say

You won’t solve problems one by one as they come

You create new ones even though there were none

You say you love me and you want to stay here

Then you say and do things that hurt me so, dear

I want the man back that I met that first day

I want to feel your love, not just hear words you say

MOM

Have I ever told you

How glad I am

That you’re always there

When I’m in a jam?

Did I ever thank you

For all the ways you showed

You will love me always,

No matter where I go?

I’ve taken for granted

All the things you have done

Always providing me

A shoulder to lean on.

You helped me to learn,

Letting me make mistakes.

Then helping me get through

All the messes I make.

You taught me how to love

And to always be me,

Even though our choices

Do not always agree.

Thank you for showing me

How to enjoy this life

To find the beauty

While enduring the strife.

My mother by nature,

Your daughter by chance.

My MOM in my heart

In my lifelong dance

MOTHER'S LOVE

Signs of mother’s love

Are easy to see

I find them in you

As I did in me

The twinkle that comes

To light up your eyes

As you look at her

One-quarter your size

Smiles lighting your face

As you play with toes

Your gentle cooing

As you wipe her nose

Lullabies you sing

Rocking her to sleep

Laying her in bed

Your kiss on her cheek

Your tender concern

For each of her needs

These are a mother’s love

Not just words, but deeds

MY PROMISE

My dearest, true love

You’re important to me

I love you so much

Your face I always see

You’re a special man

Always caring and kind

As compared to gold

You’re a much better find

Thank you for choosing

To be part of my life

Thanks for asking me

To become your wife

Thank you for being

The tender man you are

Thank you very much

For all your love so far

Life is uncertain

And most dreams fade away

I promise my love

Until my final day

MY FRIEND

I look deep in your eyes

Past the pain and despair

A wonderful person’s

Hiding deep inside there

You’re a man who’s been hurt

Many times in the past

Now you won’t believe love

Can ever really last

You see only sadness

Behind any new door

Based on everything

That has happened before

But please look at me now

I am somebody new

I want to be with you

A dear friend tried and true

The deepest of night is

Always followed by dawn

Let us bury our troubles

And then with love move on

I would love to show you

Love can really be fine

It can grow each day

Like the aging of wine

Just let go of your past

With today’s morning sun

Take my hand and together

Enjoy this love that’s begun

Take each day we’ve been given

Sharing our joy and our pain

Having fun in the sunshine

Looking for rainbows in the rain

MY INHERITANCE

My dear father died recently

And I didn’t get his money

I believe I really don’t care

Yes, I know that sounds funny

For the inheritance he had

Already given to me

Was truly more valuable

Although the price-tag says free

I was given self-confidence

A belief in my own worth

He taught me the true benefit

Of giving a full day’s work

By his example, I was shown

Mistakes can make you stronger

Don’t give up if you fail at first

Just try a little longer

I was taught life is for living

Beauty’s everywhere

Love is to be given freely

Never wait to show you care

So, although I did not get

Lots of money when he passed

By giving me time in his life

I’ve an inheritance that will last

OUTLOOK

I looked at your face

And what a surprise

That smile is back

Held deep in your eyes

Your outlook on life

Has taken a U-turn

It’s happiness, love

For which you now yearn

I’m glad to be here

Beside you each day

Watching as you chase

The dark clouds away

I want you to share

The rest of my life

For better, for worse,

For always, your wife

NOTRE DAME

Another Saturday

We have all been removed

From the family room

There is a game on the tube

My fan’s dressed and