Bittersweet Reality

By Cindy J. Smith

Watching the world change through the years, Cindy has found herself frustrated and sad.  In this collection of poems and short stories, she lets her pen flow with the melancholy and disillusionment she feels. Sometimes it is hard to believe in "Happily Ever After".

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cindy J. Smith
• Release date: Feb 9, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393950080

Cindy J. Smith

I grew up in the country of Upstate New York and now reside in the boonies of Midwestern Indiana. I am a coffee-addicted truck driver (as if there was any other kind). I have written poetry all my life. The topics and poems just come into my head. I try to write in the first person for most of them. I do this as people are more apt to relate to something when they are not feeling like they are the target. Some of my poems are true, either for me or for someone I know. I believe in magic and that life is worth living. I hope that my words will touch every reader in some way. I want everyone to open their eyes and really see what is before them.

Book preview

DEDICATION

Iwould like to dedicate this collection to Erika M Szabo and Cindy Calloway. The love and support I receive from both of them keep me believing in myself even when my ego tells me I am wrong.

Erika creates awesome covers for me and formats my words into works of art.  She finds the perfect outfit to fit the contents. Her attention to detail is second to none as she creates these masterpieces.

Cindy has been my editor for years.  She polishes my verses and short stories, so they sparkle with lives of their own.

Thank you both for everything, I would not be doing this without you.

BITTERSWEET REALITY

Every day I come a little closer

My Golden Years are just around the bend

Years of work, trials, and tribulations

Slowly approaching their well-earned end

The world outside is much different

Than the one I believed I'd find

It seems way too many people

Have forgotten how to be kind

Lies and half-truths considered facts

While veracity is held in question

CEOs of social media platforms

Fact-Checking the medical professions

Our forefathers fought and died

For freedom and our inalienable rights

Now being replaced by executive orders

As millennials give them up without a fight

Science corrupted to fit political agendas

Humanity and kindness slowly devastated

Social distancing and electronic devices

Helping identity and ego be obliterated

No family or friendly get-togethers

Law-abiding citizens locked in their homes

Criminals idolized and set free

Politicians and celebrities allowed to roam

Time for me to enjoy the fruits of my labor

Nature's beauty feeding my will to survive

But as the hatred and destruction escalate

It's getting hard to keep faith in humanity alive

Warning calls to the world ignored

History repeats itself when forgotten

I told you so will mean nothing

When our way of life comes to an end

DEATH OF LOVE

As I looked into her eyes, I watched love die. Her tears killing the sparkle before they formed rivers on her cheek.  I felt my heart break as I realized the pain I had caused her.  She slowly turned and began leaving.  My world crumbled with her every step.  One stupid act has lost me the best part of my life.

Justina and I met in kindergarten.  She was the cutest girl in the class.  Her long brown hair shone like silk and had gentle curls like waves on the lake.  Looking in her hazel eyes accented the feeling of a peaceful shore. Her smile was a beacon, welcoming me home. Strangely I knew right then she would be my wife.

Sean sat next to me on our first day of school.  I looked into his bright blue eyes and was lost.  It seemed I was floating in the sky, free from worry.  Then he smiled and I was complete.  I was his.

By high school, Justina and I were inseparable.  We took the same courses and followed our dreams.  I wrote and she painted pictures.  We were each other's inspiration.  Two halves making a whole.

Sean and I loved to be outdoors.  We would visit the shore and get lost in the rhythm of the waves.  Or, we'd take long walks through the forest listening to the animals.  It seemed their contentment was contagious.  We were one.

When we announced our engagement, no one was surprised.  Justina picked the perfect venue.  We were married on the beach at dawn. Dressed in multicolored chiffon, she looked like Aurora, the goddess of dawn.  Our married life beginning with the day.  Our love shining bright with the sun.  Friends and family surrounding us in a cocoon of happiness.

Sean looked so handsome the morning we married.  He walked up the beach to me dressed in a white pirate shirt and jeans.  His smile lighting the way.  My heart fluttered in my chest as he took my hand.  We said our vows, the prayers and promises our hearts wrote to each other.

Since I did web design and Justina did game programming, we were both able to work from home.  This gave us plenty of time to enjoy each other and work on our artistic endeavors.  A few of my poems and short stories were published in anthologies.  Justina's paintings were real works of art.  Every time she had a showing, she sold out.  She could make it seem like the canvases breathed with life.

I love reading Sean's poetry.  It seems to play my heartstrings, creating songs in my mind.  My paintings, however, became bigger sellers.  I soon found myself in demand.  I started having shows in two or three different cities each month.  Sean would come with me if he could and we would sight-see for a few hours each trip.  I loved sharing everything with him.  It made the times I went alone seem to last forever.

It is the week of our 10th Anniversary.  Justina was asked to go to Paris for a show of her work.  What a great opportunity for her, right?  I cannot go.  I have a few clients who I need to meet in person.  Their appointments have been set for a month.  She knows.  She is excited though.  My jealousy is eating me up.  I want her here, supporting me, celebrating with me!!

I don't know what to do.  Our Anniversary is Friday but they want me in Paris on Monday.  Sean says it is a great opportunity and I should go.  He has appointments that he cannot break.  I would be going alone.  Paris with him would be grand!  What a great way to celebrate 10 years!  But, alone?  I am lost.

I bought Justina the ticket to France.  I know she would talk herself out of going.  It is just too good an opportunity to miss.  We will go together someday.  For now, this is her time to shine!

Sean gave me a ticket.  I am torn but excited.  My paintings at a show in Paris!  Wow!  I wish he could come.  He takes me to the airport.  Our tears flow as I turn to board the plane.  We've never been apart for a whole week before.  I change my mind and turn to go back.  He waves me on.  Go, he says.

On the way back from the airport, my jealousy really takes hold.  Why is her art treated like it is priceless while mine is just there?  It is not fair!  I work just as hard to get the words right as she does to get the colors perfect.  And, how could she leave me here alone for our anniversary?  Do her paintings mean more to her than me?  I am getting angry. There is a bar up ahead.  In I go and the drinking starts.

On the plane, my heart breaks.  I am grateful for the show in Paris and I know it means my art will be considered more worthy.  But, the timing is wrong.  I would not be able to paint without Sean.  He is my life, my muse, my heart.  This is our time, our life.  I need to go home.  I need to be with my love on our Anniversary.  We have a stopover in New York.  I will get a flight back.  I want to be home.

The blonde at the end of the bar smiles at me.  I smile back.  Bartender, buy that nice lady a drink on me!  He hands it to her with a nod in my direction.  She raises the glass and salutes me.  I walk over to her and sit down.  We drink for hours.  Then I see us walking into my house.  We are both a bit tipsy.  We barely make it through the door before we start removing our clothes.  Hands and mouths explore each other. I guide us to the bedroom.  Our bodies join.  Over and over we enjoy each other.  Sated we fall asleep.

The cab drops me off at the end of the driveway.  My luggage is still on the plane so it is fine with me.  I walk up, my steps quicken as I get closer to my love.  Won't he be surprised!  I open the door quietly.  Tiptoeing I make it to our bedroom. That is strange.  I swear I hear two people breathing.  I flick on the light...

The light wakes me.  Justina!  What are you doing home?  I look where she is staring.  When I look back to her