Find Your Direction in Your Quiet: Sharing My Experience Living With Anxiety

By Delisa Deavenport

Delisa writes "Find Your Direction in Your Quiet" as an account of her journey from a growing anxiety disorder as a child to debilitating anxiety as a young and middle-age adult. The book then explains her transformation into a confident, successful, inspiring woman, using her journey as an avenue for young women to understand and cope with the anxiety affecting their quality of life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Feb 9, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543962734

Book preview

Find Your Direction in Your Quiet

© 2019 by Delisa Deavenport

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN: 978-1-54396-272-7 (Print)

ISBN: 978-1-54396-273-4 (eBook)

Table of Contents

Dedication

Foreward

Preface

Understanding Anxiety

Chapter 1 – Growing Up All Things Anxiety

Chapter 2 – Moving into a Diagnoses

Chapter 3 – Symptoms and Signs

Chapter 4 – Panic Attacks

Chapter 5 - What Unmanaged Anxiety Looks Like

Chapter 6 – Triggers

Trauma

Environment

Empath Characteristics

Caffeine

Chocolate

Medications

Processed Sugar

Alcohol

Food Sensitivity

Taking Control of Your Life

Chapter 7 - Own Who You Are

Chapter 8- Goal Setting

Chapter 9 – Coaching

Chapter 10 – A Morning Routine for Success

Spiritual/Prayer

Social Media

Exercise

Inspirational Book

Affirmations

Visualization

Self-Record

Journalizing

Coping Techniques

Chapter 11 – Building a Toolbox of Coping Skills

Music

Meditations

Sleep

Eating Healthy

Chapter 12 – Mindful Breathing

Chapter 13 - Noise Sensitivity

Understanding What Managed Anxiety Disorder Feels Like

Chapter 14 - Fighting the Fight

Chapter 15 - Why do I Need Quiet

Chapter 16 - Finding Your Happy Place

Chapter 17 - Nature or Earthing

Chapter 18 – Forgiveness

Chapter 19 – Acceptance

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my loving husband, Larry. Without his relentless patience in understanding my Anxiety Disorder and working with me to get through difficult times, I would not be living the amazing, wonderful life of contentment and happiness that I have today. His belief in God, when my faith was weak, and his guidance when I was confused, was the difference in my successfully getting through the hard times stronger and wiser. His genuine love and dedication for me keeps me grounded. Many times, I buried my head in his chest while he wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel the anxiety drain from my body – sometimes, right in the middle of a busy store. This does not faze him at all. He keeps me focused on my dreams and he never, ever doubts my abilities and greatness.

Always loving you, your wife, Delisa.

Foreward

I met Delisa when she was a non-profit executive who desired to help people on a more personal level. She completed my coach certification as one of the most motivated life-changers I have ever worked with. She would get an idea and act on it – then something would happen to re-route her progress.

Delisa continued to seek out the next certification, another training program, an expert to hire…trying as we all do, to find the answer that would make it all fall into place. What she had inside her was all she needed, but she had to discover that on her own. Coaching allowed her to skip a lot of detours and finally Find Her Direction in Her Quiet.

If you have ever felt like there is something wrong with you or some side of you that you can’t share with the world, this book will free you.

Delisa tells her story with such honesty, it creates a safe space for you to go on the journey with her and maybe even recognize a glimpse of yourself from time to time along the way.

I was entertained by her creative writing style. I was moved by her vulnerability. I was jarred by realizations about some of my own issues. I was inspired to persevere. I was informed as to actions I could take to improve my quality of life.

An easy read you won’t be able to put down, this book will fuse into the fiber of your understanding of yourself and provide a reference point for you to learn from Delisa’s experience and benefit from her presence.

Sherry Prindle

International Speaker, Trainer, and

Founder of the Professional Coach Academy

Preface

This book was written to give you a sense that you are not the only women going through anxiety. To arm you with the knowledge that anxiety is cunning and tries to steal your joy and you have the complete ability to move from anxiety managing you to you either managing your anxiety or overcoming anxiety all together.

You may be the partner of someone who suffers from anxiety. This book will help you to understand what your loved one is experiencing. My hope is that this book puts you in a position to gently guide, support and comfort your loved one without becoming an enabler.

What I discovered after writing the book, is a transformation of myself. The endeavor was truly therapeutic.

I wrote this book in such a way that most chapters stand on their own. You can go to the Table of Contents and read those chapters that interest you first. Reading the entire book will give you a sense of revolution about anxiety and about yourself. I encourage you to read the whole book in whatever way you feel comfortable.

My philosophy is that there are as many methods to manage anxiety as there are women who have anxiety, as we are all unique and there are so many variables to reaching the point of finding joy and purpose in our life. My prayer is that your journey leads you exactly to the place where you experience your Ah Ha moment and begin to find peace and intention in your life.

Coach Delisa Deavenport

Section 1

Understanding Anxiety

Chapter 1 – Growing Up All Things Anxiety

If I had to describe, in one word, how I felt about my life most of my 58 years on this beautiful planet earth – I would unequivocally say the word is SCARED. What were you scared of? you ask, "EVERYTHING. WHY were you scared of everything? you asked. I don’t know, and that scared me. What if when I was developing in the womb, something went haywire with my brain or my body’s chemistry makeup? What if something traumatic happened to me when I was young, and I don’t remember? What if I am adopted and this isn’t my real life? From birth to growing into the older mature woman that I am today was All Things Anxiety." This thing I call my life was a journey of fear, inadequacies, heartbreak, unworthiness, loss, unlovability, pain, hopefulness, hopelessness, loss of direction and eventually patience, peace, purpose, joy, and an abundance of love.

I was so driven as a child, an overachiever if you will. At age three, I was handing flash cards to my mom asking for quizzes. Other times, I was handing her a pencil and paper with the simple request, Formula please. She would write out a math problem. My mother would later describe me as a go-getter who would then get bored easily. I know I was just plain scared. I was scared of not being loved enough so I did whatever it took to get love from those around me. I was scared of not being smart enough, so I studied hard and paid attention to everything around me – like a sponge. I was scared I was studying the wrong things, so I would jump to something else – not bored – just redirecting for more desired results. I was scared of loving the wrong people and not developing into the person I was meant to be. When my mother scolded me, it tore right through my heart. I was scared of not being a good enough daughter. The oldest of five, I was scared of not being a good big sister. I doted on my siblings, dressing them, feeding them, and reading to them. I often set up school in my bedroom. I would line the tin TV trays up beside the bed and sit my siblings in front of each one. A strict teacher, I handed out worksheets I had carefully constructed, but the young children were more interested in coloring pictures over-the-top of the exercises.

As I grew up, I took on way more responsibility than my tender age could really bear. At eleven, I consoled and tried to be strong for a mother going through a divorce. At sixteen, it was time for me to make a home of my own for my daughter and husband. At twenty-eight, I found myself driving across the country from Texas to Michigan, with two adolescent children, navigating my own divorce and trying to figure out just how I ended up all by myself. Most of my life, I was convinced that everyone around me had life figured out, was thriving and walking down their life path just as planned and expected. I was screwing everything up because I had no idea what or how I was supposed to put one foot in front of another, and I was constantly tripping through life. I was getting by hoping I could fool everyone until I could get this responsibility called life, figured out. The older I got, the harder the game was to try to navigate through.

Each night, I sit scared and curled up in the dark corner of my room.

I want to burst out like a butterfly and show you my beautiful dance.

I am convinced in my heart that you will hate it and not approve.

So, I repeat over and over, Don’t do it; don’t take the chance.

Tomorrow, I will prove to the world I am worthy of being accepted.

Tomorrow, I will figure out how to earn your approval and love.

I know I can do it, I know somewhere inside me I have greatness.

Yes, tomorrow I will work hard to prove to you what I am made of.

Delisa Deavenport

Early in my life, I realized that going into nature was a coping mechanism when being scared made me restless. When I was a young girl, I climbed the trees and looked down upon the treacherous world below. I felt close to God and safe from the