Bitter to Better: Breaking Chains

By Neisha D. Feliciano

After enduring several traumatic events in her life, author Neisha Feliciano shares practical techniques that helped her overcome self-blame and bitterness. Incorporating the amazing release and acceptance that is provided with forgiveness, she embodies self-awareness and offers immense motivational content in Bitter to Better: Breaking Chains. The writer teaches; in order to fully grasp the ability we possess to attract into our lives what we desire, we must first deal with the blocks associated with beliefs already adopted. You are sure to embark on a breathtaking journey, reconstructing your entire life, inside and out. The techniques set out in this book are sure to be beneficial for your personal growth and will stand the test of time.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Neisha D. Feliciano
• Release date: Jun 9, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370649051

Neisha D. Feliciano

Author, Neisha D. Feliciano was born and raised in the heart of New York City. She is of Puerto Rican descent. Her passion for helping others led her to pursue a career in Criminal Justice and obtaining a degree in the field. Volunteering to help others, offering insight on motivational techniques, and methods on building resilient determination are her forte. Having battled with her own self-esteem issues and trauma, she speaks from experience in her first book; Bitter to Better: Breaking Chains. The writer has set out to share her voice on numerous issues faced by the masses behind closed doors and is also an active blogger. She wishes to share her experience and assure others in similar situations, that they are not alone.

Book preview

Intro to Change

Everyone, at one point or another, has experienced feelings of bitterness. Those feelings that leave you with low-frequency emotions like you’ve been wronged, tricked, betrayed, belittled, or just taken for granted. Wouldn’t it be a breeze if instead of remaining upset, depressed, stressed, anxious, or bitter in your present life over these past experiences, you could actually put them to use for something greater, something better?

What If I said that you can use those same circumstances to propel you forward and make you a better person? Well, it’s possible. This book is a tool to do exactly that.

By applying everyday techniques you can learn to cope with mental blocks, remove them, and build new patterns within the mind to help you gain momentum, motivation, and become the best version of you. If you want to feel good effortlessly and love life again, accomplishing your desire for happiness won’t be so farfetched if you’re willing to apply these methods and remain assertive in your pursuit.

However, you must be willing and open to use the techniques and exercises that are in this book. I’d like to begin by assuring you that this book will be written in a conversational tone. I want you to understand that I’m not just telling you what to do but that I’m with you every step of the way. Life is a learning experience and as I share what I’ve applied to my everyday life, I continue to apply these principals myself, thus becoming better with time. So we are in this together.

I chose not to divide the book into chapters but instead into categories. Every unit can assist on an individual level so any direction you pick to start from is fine. Though I’d suggest you read it from beginning to end in its order for a full effect on how all elements work together.

I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, preacher, or the likes, but I sure am human. I’m breathing just like you. The examples and techniques set forth in the following pages are intended to assist in the process of self-reflection for the betterment of your overall quality of life. These are experiences I myself lived through and was able to overcome, so it’s authentic and personal.

This book will serve as a guide to ask the questions that truly matter. The questions that will force you to analyze your current level of happiness and push you beyond the mediocre restraints of cycles before you will be found in these pages. Let us begin to break the chains formed by our past. It’s up to you to dig deep and find that which keeps you from true happiness. The ability to keep an open mind is crucial in order to get the most out of this book.

There will be uncomfortable moments throughout, but just know that this is an inside look for yourself, it is expected and okay to feel the emotions you might encounter. Be as truthful and open as you possibly can, this is for your own personal growth. You are the only person in the room, be open, be yourself, and most importantly do the work.

There are two items that will benefit you during this reading; a book for journaling, and a wall calendar with sufficient writing space or a notes section. Let’s get to it…

My Experience with Bitterness

I am not exempt from the trials and tribulations that life throws at us. Just like you, I have memories that I have learned to live with and manage properly in order to move forward with a healthy lifestyle. From a very young age, the circumstances presented to me were not ideal and had I known what I know now, I could’ve avoided so much heartache and headaches.

Unfortunately many will have to live through the hardship as did I before reaching a level of acceptance and really owning up to the level of change they want to accomplish. I was so unhappy during my teenage years and well into my twenties. I learned early on that the only way to fix the world around me was to begin fixing what’s been damaged on the inside of me first.

You are a wonderful human being and have so much to offer the world. If you will just open up and leave all the baggage behind, receive the good and spread love, you will find happiness all around you. It is when I realized this for myself that I began to seek change. Hopefully, this book will encourage, and motivate you to start making these changes yourself. Internally evolving will ultimately result in wonderful changes externally.

The following paragraphs are meant to depict the most haunting times that I experienced. These events were the hardest to deal with, and the purpose of sharing is to assure you that you are not alone in the process of changing your bitterness into happiness. Regardless of the level in which you find yourselves currently, we can all use a good dose of motivation. Please know that letting go of present or past circumstances that wear you down does not make you weak, or selfish. On the contrary, it will provide resilience.

I have been in the seat that you’re in right now. I’ve read numerous self-help books and while they have helped me greatly, it wasn’t until I began my own journey to aide my own wounds that I truly began to see a change in the quality of my life. It hasn’t been easy but it has been worth it. Surely, I could go on and on about myself, but this book is for the advancement of your pursuit toward happiness, not my personal battles. Maybe in the near future, I can write in more detail about my life in a spinoff. For now, this section will be short and brief.

As an adolescent, I demanded much attention, as any child would. My family composition was hefty. Raised in a household with five siblings, myself included, it’s safe to say it was nothing short of hectic. Living in an urban community and labeled a minority proved to be a challenge in itself. To say that my single parent mom had her hands full and overflowing is an understatement.

I found refuge writing in numerous journals just as soon as I learned to write. Early on I became vindictive and rebelled against my siblings. I couldn’t understand why my mother was spread so thin and couldn’t just focus on me as an individual. Soon I made friends and acquaintances that would fill my time, looking for attention in all the wrong places. I wrote about it all in my numerous journals along the way.

When I was thirteen years old I witnessed someone I loved dearly attempt to commit suicide. This proved to be very traumatic for me. So many unanswered questions stemmed from this one early affliction. I didn’t realize it then, but it would dwell very deep in the inside of who I was for years to come. I would later have to let go of the animosity built in my mind in order to grow as an adult.

I battled with unanswered questions from that moment forward and life was happening fast. Both of my sisters were teenage mothers and I followed, pregnant at thirteen, miscarried twins. Worse of all I built an ongoing never-ending flow of bitterness that would mold and turn the rest of my teenage years, and most of my young adult life into a circus of shameful events. I hurt my dear mother in ways that I had to learn to forgive myself for as an adult.

My mother, battling numerous serious health issues, taking care of her sickly elderly father, five children, grandchildren, and maintaining her sanity, was doing all she could with all she had to raise us properly. Managing just me at the time was an insurmountable mountain in itself. I couldn’t see it then but I blamed everyone including my mother for what I didn’t have and I was so wrong in doing so.

As a result, I became a force to be reckoned with in the worst way. I rebelled against society’s restraints to keep me in a project complex in New York City, living a mediocre life. Determined to be different but lacking the tools and knowledge to get ahead correctly, I started to build my own way, the wrong way.

Before the age of fourteen, I’d been arrested twice, underwent anger management, was locked away in a psychiatric unit, and put on watch in a justice program for troubled teenagers through the courts. I dropped out of school, ran away from home several times, worked off the books for an urban clothing store, and hustled everyone around me. I was an absolute mess!

When my life was threatened by people and for reasons I cannot disclose at this time, my mother panicked and noticed that she’d lost all control. I was sent away to live in Pennsylvania. Living with my uncle proved to be an easy get away from my nagging mother (this was my mind frame at the time.) I learned very quickly how to use people mischievously. I soon moved out of my uncle’s house and in with my then boyfriend. His family took me in. This chapter of my life is an entire book in itself.

I didn’t have a care in the world. Every single day I held on to anger and let it motivate me to hurt others even further. I did things to people that I struggled to forgive myself for when the time came. By the age of fourteen I was playing the role of a wife. I sold drugs, danced for money, and personally experimented with different drugs, all before turning eighteen years old.

At eighteen I was sexually assaulted by a person whom I trusted. Betrayed and torn I was afraid to confide in anyone and lost all sense of belief in humanity. I was bitter, resentful, afraid and unable to forgive. When I attempted to make a report to the authorities, I was blamed for allowing it to happen to me. I shut down even further emotionally and mentally.

The darkness that surrounded me made me feel hopeless, lonely and angry. I didn’t know how to change the whirlwind that had become my life. My every thought was to escape but I didn’t know how, or where to go. I began to sleep my days away, ignoring the world around me. I was numb. Even though I wanted better for myself, the days went by without solutions and deeper I sank.

I continued to experience numerous downfalls and became depressed. I spent eight years in a very unhealthy, toxic relationship. I was then arrested another two times and this time charged as an adult. It was then that I awoke and thought deeply about where I was heading in life. I knew there had to be more and I became determined to find it.

I longed for shelter from the grueling world and turned to drinking alcohol as a means to escape. The few relationships I had left went to shambles. The number of physical fights I took part in as a result of my then addiction was nothing short of appalling. Many nights I awoke not knowing where I was or how I got there. I knew I