Letters to Eunoia: The Book of Mental Health Pep talks

By Chelsey Brejanee

In 2013 during her stay at a psychiatric hospital, Chelsey Brejanee wrote a letter to herself that would later help prevent her from committing suicide. The heartfelt letter was a desperate plea to her future self to hang onto hope and reach out in the event that her depression spun out of control again. Today, she has taken that letter and used it as the source of inspiration for the creation of the uplifting pep talks in this book. She also uses her personal story and learned wisdom to create intimate conversations with readers as she guides them through six topic areas:
The Blues (Depression Symptoms)
For the Anxious Mind (Anxiety Symptoms)
Matters of the Heart (Interpersonal Relationships)
Perception of Self (Confidence)
Work & School
Random Positivity
Whether it's a simple "read this if you need Monday motivation" or a more serious "read this if you're struggling to get out of bed," Letters to Eunoia manages to meet the reader wherever they currently are on the spectrum of emotional difficulty with love, compassion, and understanding. These pep talks are exactly what every person experiencing any level of emotional difficulty needs by their side to help keep the light of hope for a better day visible.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chelsey Brejanee
• Release date: Feb 24, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463141472

Chelsey Brejanee

Chelsey Brejanee is a survivor with a serious knack for spreading as much joy and positivity as she can. As an advocate for the reduction of mental health stigmas and the promotion of self-care, she uses writing books, making videos on her YouTube Channel, and running her company, Finding A Happy Inc. as ways of providing inspiration, support, guidance, and hope for anyone battling mental illnesses and emotional struggles across the board. You can learn more about her work at her YouTube Channel and Instagram pages under the name: ChelseyBrejanee

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

I published Letters to Eunoia: A Book of Hope and Encouragement for Depression and Anxiety Warriors in July of 2017. Terrified, excited, a bit queasy, and beyond exhausted-I timidly watched as the first batch of orders went through. There it is, I thought to myself, out in the world for all to know. The original book held my words, my thoughts, and my attempt to help at least one person feel ok through not only my heartfelt letters directly addressing their current difficulty but also through the sharing of my experience with mental health struggles. As if to say: Hey! Look at me! I’ve been where you are and I made it out alive, and I made it out so alive that I’m able to share some wisdom I’ve picked up along the way. 

My goal (then and now) is to connect with you, love you, support you, and add some sunshine in the darkest cloud of your sky. I’d like to think that I would be driven to help people no matter what I’ve been through, but a huge part of me knows that I’ve turned this into my life’s passion because I relate so strongly to what it means to live with a mental illness. It is because I’ve spent countless hours numb and unable to move from the warmth of my bed that I’m able to gently coax you out of yours. It is because I’ve destroyed my body for years to control or offer some sort of sick structure to the overwhelming emotional pain I was carrying that I know what to say to help you find other relief without judging you. It is because I drifted through life without any meaning, understanding, or awareness about who I am-can be-and do for myself and the world around me that I’m certain that hope is a real thing that can be created in the darkest of minds. Were it not for these experiences on this specific rough path of mine I don’t think I would have been able to write more than one letter to you. And for that I’m thankful. I try not to dwell too long on the traumatic shit I’ve lived through, but for right now, I find comfort in knowing that today it has a purpose. 

In the year since publishing this original book my life has resembled quite the roller coaster ride. Not to be totally cliché here but there’s honestly no other way to describe it. To name a few: I’ve gone through an intense breakup, moved to two different states, started a new business, relapsed on the eating disorder I’ve had since I was a child after going over a year with zero episodes, reunited with someone who my soul has missed more than words can say (hello to the sun of my sky), grown new and amazing friendships, and questioned every single decision and the direction my life is headed. I’m extremely proud to say that I’m still here-kickin’ and discovering new reasons to smile while attending therapy twice a week. And every day I wake up and try my best to continue to grow through the ebbs and flows that life brings to my doorstep. I’ve gained more awareness of myself and the world around me and have revisited this book with a fresh perspective and readiness to give you more: more support (I’ve added 7 new chapters), more of me (I’ve expanded greatly on the details of my story and how I ended up here), and more wisdom as I’ve tweaked most of the letters from the first book. 

So, if it’s your first time venturing into Eunoia, welcome! If it’s your second time around the block, welcome back! And thank you. I’m so happy you’re here and it is my greatest hope that my words bring you comfort. 

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

This book is not professional mental health advice or treatment and should not take the place of professional mental health services. I am simply a peer sharing my life experiences, motivation, and support. If you or someone you know are struggling and would like someone to help-please call 1800-273-8255 or visit the resources tab at findingahappyinc.co for more options or if you’re outside of the US. Thank you.

Letters to Eunoia is designed to be thumbed through with the intent of choosing and reading what you need at a specific time. But, you can certainly read it traditionally; it’s totally up to you! There are six different sections to cover some major areas of the human experience:

I. The Blues-The letters in this section address situations that come up when battling depression. They’re extremely gentle in tone and focus on providing support and motivation.

II. For the Anxious Mind-The letters in this section are catered to people who suffer from any anxiety disorders or severe stress in general. They are meant to bring calm and clarity and provide tips and tricks I use to help handle stress.

III. Matters of the Heart-The letters in this section aim to bring comfort, support, and the wisdom I’ve learned along the way as it relates to love and relationships (both romantic and platonic).

IV. Perception of Self-The letters is in this section are all about self-esteem and confidence and are meant to inspire feelings and actions to improve the way you feel about yourself.

V. Work and School-The letters in this section address situations related to work and school. Some letters are simple words of encouragement and guidance while others discuss ordinary situations that become difficult while navigating them with anxiety and/or depression.

VI. Random Positivity-The letters in this section are on a wide range of topics and are extremely upbeat. They’re best suited for moments when you would just like some positive energy sprinkled into your day.

As you can see, the letters in here cover a wide spectrum of issues. I think it’s important to recognize that people living with (low and high) functioning depression and anxiety will experience struggles on all levels of severity and in all aspects of life. So, you do not have to be in deep despair or even have a mental health diagnosis to reach out for support or benefit from encouragement. Life gives us all challenges to grow through, so I wanted this book and these letters to be able to meet people wherever they are emotionally. I noted within the book section descriptions the state of mind the letters are meant to serve, so I hope that, along with the titles, will guide you to the exact letter that will fit you. Whether you’re at your lowest point in life or just wanting to start the day on a positive note- I hope you can find whatever you need here.

Lastly, I’d love to note that I know firsthand how crippling depression and anxiety can be and can often make the simplest tasks feel impossible. These letters are in no way attempting to provide a simple fix to all of life’s problems, suggesting that your difficulties are invalid, or downplaying your struggles, disorder, or illness. If you are currently at a point in your life where the depression or anxiety is making living feel extremely difficult I urge you to please seek out (if you haven’t already) some sort of professional help or support. There are such a wide variety of tools out here to help you; you’ve just got to come across the combination of such that will work for you. And please do not feel guilty for or ashamed of your struggles. I know you are doing the best you can and it speaks volumes that you’re here existing in this book with me. One of the most powerful lessons I learned on my own journey to eunoia was that depression, anxiety, or trauma may take away your will or desire to go on, but they never, ever take away your option to fight and try anyway. I wrote this entire book with those words at the forefront of my mind, and the belief that anyone who picks up and attempts to read this book is ready to at least try or fight for recovery, happiness, and healing. An open mind, heart, and tiny desire to feel better are all you need to navigate these letters. I am so honored and grateful to serve a tiny role in your journey to eunoia, and am so happy that this book can serve as a tool to help you keep going, keep trying, reach out, and hang onto hope. Because it truly does get better, I am living proof of that.

Dear Chelsey

I honestly wasn’t sure how to name this chapter. In the first edition I kind of took the safe route and put the background of how I created the concept of this book into a few paragraphs in the introduction section. I was still trying to come to terms with who I was (or am). In fact, as I wrote that introduction my hands were literally shaking and I needed to take a few breaks during. I wasn’t in a space to dive that deep into my painful life experiences (and by the way that’s totally ok). So, instead I shared the highlights in the form of short sentences about what disorders or mental illnesses I’d encountered starting from age 5 all the way up until my psychiatric hospitalization in 2013 that would later allow me to empathetically understand the feeling of true hopelessness and what combinations of words one would need to be uttered or written to ease the pain-even if just a little bit. At the time I did what was best for my mental health, and I hope that throughout this book you too learn to always meet yourself wherever you are emotionally.

Anyway, this time around I’m much more comfortable, excited even, and perhaps a bit proud of what stories lie within my experience so far on this earth. This time around, what I have to say feels like so much more than an introduction. It feels like more than a simple about me. And don’t even get me started on how overused terms like my story or my journey are. That’s not to throw shade, by the way, as I use those terms randomly throughout these pep-talk letters. They just didn’t seem to fit for the title of such an important chapter. Not to mention story and journey seem to suggest that I’ve reached my destination when I haven’t- like at all- if such a destination even exists. I feel like that route would set the tone of: Hey! I went through a bunch of horrible shit that later lead me to try to take my own life and now I’m totally better and feel happiness all the time! Nah. Just like you, I am constantly evolving, understanding, and becoming. I just so happen to have evolved and become so much beyond my initial pain and traumas that I’m now equipped with the tools to grow through pain and create happiness in spaces where it didn’t exist. And that is what I’m here to share with you: a sense of hope and direction that’s rooted in realistic steps and efforts that you will hopefully feel empowered enough to take for yourself. Because no one deserves to wake up and exist in agony every day-especially not you.

So, don’t take my naming this section after myself as some form of self-serving praise or narcissism. Nor is this going to be repeated bullet points of my life’s journey. It is simply a guided tour into the mind of a person that so badly wants to help you smile more often. And in the end perhaps it will give these letters I’ve written more meaning-and at bare minimum help you feel less alone in your experience. I’d also like to quickly note that the rest of this chapter contains stories that may trigger you (sexual abuse, abandonment, self-harm, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, & hospitalization). Given that this is literally a book of mental health pep talks, I recommend that you pause and check-in with yourself before continuing. How do you feel? Is it fragile? Perhaps you would like to skip ahead and instead find a letter that will provide you with support. You can always come back to this section another day. Or maybe if it’s more on the lonely/lost side it would do you some good to read the experiences of someone similar to you. It’s one thousand percent up to you how and when you navigate the content of this book. If you’re reading this chapter and find yourself getting upset (beyond normal empathy), please stop reading and thumb to one of the two letters I’ve written and included in this book about being triggered or any other topic that stands out to you. Deal? (FYI, I’m totally holding my pinky out for you to hook and make a promise with your own) Alright, Beautiful Soul, let’s do this: welcome to the inside of my mind. Careful now… It gets weird in here.

Waking up in the psychiatric hospital for the first time is fucking jarring. If I close my eyes I can experience it all over again with great clarity. The sounds of strangers chattering and shuffling about the hallways slowly seeped into my subconscious mind to gently shake me awake. Struggling to blink my eyes against the intrusive light coming from several fluorescent ceiling lamps, I could barely make out the blurred shape of the sleeping body on the other side of the room. My arms felt like they were filled with sand bags as I lifted them up to stretch. In my drug induced slumber I’d totally forgotten that I was 45 minutes away from my college town and the warmth of own bed in the small house I was renting with two of my sorority sisters. I’d forgotten about timidly following the intake counselor down the long, narrow, shiny halls to get my vitals and room assignment. I’d forgotten about spending 72 hours in the general hospital, verbally bound to the bed until they could come up with a safety plan for me-which included my transfer to this place.

Suicidal ideation. That’s what’s on all of my