Here Comes The Bride

By Julie McCarron-Benson

Memoirs of a Wedding Coordinator

A guest dies on the toilet?
A naked wedding?
A groom left at the altar?

These are some of the issues that Belle Saint James wedding coordinator extraordinaire has faced in her long career.

Finally succumbing to the demands of her admirers Belle has put together a collection of some of the more unusual or notable weddings she has organised. She offers some insights into what she has observed and discusses some of the changes she has witnessed.

Belle is very clear. To her, a wedding is no more than the public commitment of a couple to spend their lives together. It is just the way they go about announcing their commitment that differs. Every wedding is special in its own way, but as Belle demonstrates, all successful weddings are a combination of good will, good planning and managing expectations.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Julie McCarron-Benson
• Release date: Oct 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463356340

Julie McCarron-Benson

Julie McCarron-Benson grew up in Canowindra, a small town in the central west of NSW, Australia. She attended Canowindra Public School and Cowra High School, moved to Canberra as a school leaver to work in the Commonwealth Public Service, went nursing, got married, had three kids and went to the Australian National University. She has worked amongst other positions as a shop assistant, a movie usher, a security guard and a professional carer. She worked for several NGOs. She opened a café, set up a business manufacturing gourmet foods, and established an event management business specialising in wedding coordination. She has held art exhibitions. Julie would prefer to read, loves gardening and attending the opera. Her many friends ensure that her alcohol tolerance level remains comparatively high.

Book preview

Here Comes the Bride

Julie McCarron-Benson grew up in Canowindra, a small town in the central west of NSW, Australia. She attended Canowindra Public School and Cowra High School, moved to Canberra as a school leaver to work in the Commonwealth Public Service, went nursing, got married, had three kids and went to the Australian National University. She has worked amongst other positions as a shop assistant, a movie usher, a security guard and a professional carer. She has worked for several NGOs. She opened a café, set up a business manufacturing gourmet food, and established an event management business specializing in wedding coordination. She has held art exhibitions. Julie would prefer to read, loves gardening and attending the opera. Her many friends ensure that her alcohol tolerance level remains comparatively high.

Here Comes the Bride

Julie McCarron-Benson

Copyright© 2018 Julie McCarron-Benson

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

ISBN 9780994625854

Dewey Number: A823.3

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends.

This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form.

If you enjoyed this book, please return to your favourite ebook retailer to discover other works by this author.

Thank you

This work is dedicated to my wonderful man, Marcel (Mark) Smith, Vietnam veteran, ex-police officer, now a private investigator who has helped me in many stressful situations and to my dear friends, Sylvie Sutton, marriage celebrant, and Clara-Rose Duggan, Member of Parliament, for their continuous support through thick and thin.

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Who Pays for What?

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Wedding Contact List

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Dressing for a Wedding

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Budget checklist

Other books by the author

Snatch and Grab

Hide and Seek

Rule of Thumb

Round and Around

Preface

My long-time friend Belle Saint James has finally succumbed to the pleas of her many friends and acquaintances and set out in this volume some of the more notable or outstanding moments of her career as a wedding coordinator. Belle's career has spanned several decades; a period which has seen significant shifts in society's attitudes toward marriage. Belle started organising weddings when there was only the option of the church wedding, and then that was only available to heterosexual couples. Up to these more enlightened times when the marriage parameters are the legal registration of two consenting adults to spend their lives together. Church weddings are now for the religious, the rate of divorce has levelled out and, the differences amongst us are more celebrated then remarked upon. The once frowned upon secular registry office marriage has now grown to encompass marriage celebrants who can provide a service which is designed to fit the unique requirements of the couple. The wedding celebration is no longer a ‘one size fit all' event.

There is always the need for someone to pull together an event to celebrate two people telling the world they are a couple. Belle is much sought after for her skills as a wedding coordinator. As the following collection of tales will show, sometimes those skills have been stretched to the utmost. Belle has always done a magnificent job of ensuring that the lucky couple has an event which stays with them forever as the occasion in which they were the centre of the universe.

What may not be so clear, as it is Belle who is telling the stories, is Belle's passion for her wedding couples. She enters each wedding coordination contract as if the couple were her own flesh and blood. Sometimes she will appear a bit bossy, pushy even, but what will become apparent is that Belle fights for her couples with fierce loyalty. She tries to meet the dreams and aspirations of the couple and do it within their budget and in a way that best reflects upon them.

I have been lucky to have been her friend through most of the times set out below. Our mutual friend Sylvie Sutton and I have sometimes been drawn in to assist her. It has nearly always been a pleasure.

Clara-Rose Duggan (Member of Parliament)

Chapter 1

Many people have suggested on numerous occasions that I should set out some of the unusual incidents that I have faced during my career as a wedding coordinator. Accordingly, I have chronicled some of my adventures.

While every wedding is unique in its own way, and organizing any wedding is a feat, I have focussed on some of the more unusual or notable occasions. Quite frankly, some are amazing achievements; especially when you have an idea as to what went on. Others can only be described as abject failures from a coordinator's perspective even if they appear successful to the onlooker.

I have probably indulged myself. Some unkind persons have suggested that I should have called this publication, ‘Belle Saves the Day!' It is true that some of my actions may appear a bit over the top, and maybe I have taken a stronger role than I may have needed to, but in most situations, my actions have ensured a successful event and a wonderful day for the couple concerned. In many of the incidents I outline, I have shared what actually happened with you, the reader. The couple and those immediately involved may have had no idea of what was going on!

Anyhow, after many suggestions and kind advice, I have decided to try to focus a few events that cover the span of responsibilities of the wedding coordinator. I have also included some of the flyers I hand out at talks about my business and the checklists I give to my clients. I hope they are useful to you.

I thought I'd start by beginning with the first part of the prepared talk I use when called upon to discuss my business. Don't panic; it is only an extract of my usual speech by way of introduction of myself!

So here goes!

My business as a wedding coordinator is comfortably busy. The concept of a paid wedding coordinator has been thoroughly introduced through favourite movies over the last few years. As well as weddings I do other events when called upon; large-scale dinners, retirements, commemorations and so on.

The most important thing, with which any business person will identify, is, I still get that thrill of achievement when I go through the door of my office and see my sign with its curlesque flourishes, Belle Saint James, Wedding Co-ordinator.

My clients seem to love to visit. I have plenty of coffee in store. I also have a very select wine cellar under the sink. It is indeed a very select cellar; mostly Chateau Cardboard! But seriously, who cares what sort of container the wine is poured from, or the vintage, when it is produced at a moment of stress or celebration?

My personal life is comfortable as well as the last of my children has left home, permanently, for, the last time. I enjoy going home to a house which is as I had left it - no miraculous multiplication of dirty plates in my absence, food remaining in the fridge for more than a few hours and no empty toilet rolls on the toilet-roll holder. These are some of the little things that can make a woman's heart sing!

I am often a bit startled with myself that I ended up doing wedding coordination as a career. I am an avowed feminist and atheist. It is a bit of a contradiction that I organise weddings for a living. But when I first started my event management business, in desperation to earn an income to support myself and the kids, after a while I found that weddings were what I was best at; and so, it grew from there.

The favourite events for me in my business are later in life marriages. It is the sense of joy that attracts me, I guess. By the time these people get married, they often have had children, sometimes grandchildren. There is nearly always a sense of comfort. These people have loved a bit, seen some hurt, some bitterness and yet have met up with someone with whom they want to spend the rest of their life. I enjoy the pace and the emphasis. These are not people out to have a big splash. They just want a celebration of their commitment. They are also experienced enough in living to know that you can only promise to do your best. They usually prefer not to have to go through traditional religious ceremonies with their unrealistic demands and vows. Most importantly for me, they don't want to have to waste time by organising it themselves. They tend to be prepared to enjoy themselves.

We talk about the changes sometimes. The older women comment on how much better it is for the younger ones these days. Many of them can remember the times before contraception was available, and for a long time, a woman could only get them if her father or husband agreed!

The women and men I deal with don't whine about what they missed out on though; they tend to be happy that the younger ones have choices.

Now I watch the process of compromise that takes place between the couples. Who will pay? How will they pay? How they set about putting together their budget? I watch the way the young women are so assured. They aren't losing their identity anymore. They enter into the marriage as equals and with all the expectations of equals. They can keep their own names, now. And their jobs and their careers and still have their babies and their happy ever after.

The negotiations I observe are best, I think, and this my opinion only, between a couple who have lived a bit, had other partners and done a few things. They know what they are giving up and make a pragmatic decision to live their lives together formally. They are not in love with the idea of love and the wedding day remains only the public declaration of their decision. They are often more particular as to precisely what they demand from me, but the compensation is that they don't expect a fairy-tale day and future. They are much more realistic.

The role of wedding coordinator involves three things. The first is a good dose of common sense. Most issues resolve themselves, and if they don't, it's usually for the best. Secondly, good planning. So long as the foundations for the event are sound, the many and varied problems, with a little bit of help, will as previously, sort themselves out. And the third requirement is an ability to change with the circumstances and adapt to fit.

Every wedding involves fantastic feats of juggling as well as extraordinary amounts of tolerance. You have to able to listen, comfort, consult, consider and keep going. Not that everything regularly goes smoothly, of course. However hard you try, things don't always go the way we plan. Sometimes regardless of the hours and planning that go into a wedding, things can go drastically wrong. You also have to be able to turn your hand to anything. Fortunately, I can repair a cake that has slipped on its way to the reception and equally let out a wedding dress that had miraculously shrunk between the buying and the wearing.

It can be very simple oversights that are the most difficult to remedy, omissions such as a nervous groom arriving at the church in odd socks. You try asking a complete stranger to swap socks with some long thin stretch of a groom who probably has tinea and see how good your powers of persuasion are!

Simple things can go wrong, such as the flowers of the bouquet giving the bride hay-fever. You would think she would know she was allergic to certain flowers but in the excitement of the preparations, fundamental matters like this can get overlooked.

Food allergies are another serious item that can get overlooked. Most people are responsible and let me know if they have a problem. In fact, some of them can be boringly responsible, and you get to hear all their various ailments, an absolute organ recital. Then there are some people, especially those with life-threatening allergies who assume their family is aware of their problem and don't bother to check. I hate it when I am confronted with a desperately ill guest who has eaten the wrong food and has to get carted off to the hospital, with much needless worry all around. The other thing that can happen is you are left with an unfed guest. I always ensure that there are a couple of vegetarian meals to spare. A lot more people opt for vegetarian meals these days, and most vegans can eat a vegetarian meal without getting their knickers in a twist.

I've had brides get hysterical. Grooms who lost their voice with nerves. Lost rings are commonplace; I always carry a supply. I've had the sweetest of little flower girls throw a tantrum in the middle of the church aisle and have to be removed, and a page-boy who ran wild with excitement threw the ring pillow and hid under the pews. I've had the groom's wedding pants split as he bent over to secure his shoelace in full view of the waiting congregation. I've had brides, grooms, bridesmaids, and groomsmen plus the odd assorted other essential members of a wedding party lose their contact lens, and the whole congregation has crawled around searching for it while the entire wedding ceremony is held up.

Cars break down, or go to the wrong address, or turn up at the wrong time. I've push-started bridal cars, jump-started others and simply hailed taxis just to get the bride to the church on time. One bride, we transported in her grandfather's electric scooter, a motorised golf buggy. On other occasions, I've got them to the church on tractors and in the back of utes. Once, we travelled in a hearse!

I issue a checklist. I give the checklist to the couple to try to minimise the opportunity for these things happening and have my own checklist which I run through with the families involved. Even with all of this, something nearly always goes not wholly wrong, but instead, works out a little differently to what we had calculated. No two weddings are the same, and you try to be ready for anything.

Family pets, for example, are an unexpected hazard. They can be an accident waiting to happen, and something you cannot anticipate. On one occasion I had to spot clean a dress after the family dog lifted his leg over the bride's train as she stood waiting to be get in the bridal car to go to the church.

Another time, the bride and her family had collected wishbones from roast chickens for years. The bones had been cleaned and dried and were all lined up on the kitchen table to be painted silver and decorated with tiny ribbon bows. The painted bones were to be used on the place-cards for the wedding guests. The bride was called to the phone just as she started. When she returned to the table to finish her task of painting the chicken bones, she found the family cat eating the bones. The silver-painted, dainty gum-nuts that I hurriedly suggested and took the bride and her mother to pick, were a lovely finishing touch to the place cards.

The knowledge I acquired when one of my sons did some classes in photography has come in very useful. On one occasion in particular, the professional photographer smashed himself and his car between the church and the reception. You can imagine the tantrums, tears and tidily guests that resulted in the wait of about two and a half hours before we found out what had happened. I rounded up all the guests with cameras, sent a groomsman off to the 24-hour chemist to buy lots of films, then stage-managed the photographing of the wedding party with the guests happily snapping away, delighted to be useful. We collected everyone's films, had them developed immediately and had a most incredible time picking out which photos to keep. Some of the photos were amazing! I'd hate to think the extra booze I ordered was entirely responsible for the general bonhomie! Of course, now, we could just use the mobile phone camera.

Some things can throw you, though. I've had brides develop allergies to make-up, barely minutes before the wedding. I've had brides come out in rashes due to nervousness. I've had a snake ride to the church with the bride, and both the snake and bride refuse to leave the car. I've had frogs hop out of bouquets. During the last mouse plague, I had a bride run screaming from the church. Something must have disturbed the mouse. It scurried under her skirts and up her leg as she stood in front of the altar. I was just ushering in some last late guests when there was this unbelievable shrieking, and the bride passed me in the aisle, running, clutching her skirts above her knees, her veiling streaming out behind her. I was no help; I was convulsing in laughter behind the door.

After she had calmed down the wedding went on. Mind you; the entire service was a little marred by the hiccups of people swallowing and gulping their chuckles.

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the wedding, though, some things remain the same. It is my job to make it happen. If I have