Stolen Pieces

By Wendy Mae Crichton

Wendy Mae Crichton's early life is filled with tragedy at the hands of one man - her own father. So much sorrow was provided by the very person who was given the task to defend her. Yet, the real value in this book is not so much the tragedy but rather the triumph. Wendy lets us into her world of darkness and brings us into the marvelous light which is Christ Jesus the Lord. Can love conquer all? It sure can, especially when it is the love of God. This book is not for the faint of heart but it does carry a remarkable message - when man is at his worst, God is at His best. This is the story of a brave woman who would not give up but instead rested in the safety of her loving Saviour, a lesson for us all!

• Language: English
• Publisher: MacDonald Publishing
• Release date: Sep 11, 2018
• ISBN: 9781775327196

Book preview

Preface

Emotionally scarred? Scattered and lost pieces, although I was never alone. God was always there with me. My failures and scares, life’s struggles and lack of love, Jesus has lovingly quilted them all together with the gold and silver thread of His loving mercies and forgiveness.

I was a damaged abused child. It has never been my intention to blame or hurt anyone, but no one is perfect. I have forgiven my family and father and I have spent many happy times together with them all and my father before his death. He is accountable for the mistakes in his own life time, to God.

Little by little, piece by piece my life was restored. God’s love healed this broken vessel.

My husband, now ex-husband I always loved and hoped for a marriage that could have been.

I love this quote by: G. K. Chesterton. ‘Truth is stranger than fiction’

It is because we have created a fiction to suit ourselves, mass production of lies. That is why truth seems impossible to believe. Many in my life have lied about me and it has caused tremendous heartache.

I was a puzzle left unfinished, Christ has found all my lost pieces and they are now in His hands.

I was a daughter, wife, I am a sister, mom, aunt, friend and woman.

Tenderly piece by piece,

lost within the lines of my story,

God has put me back together.

W.M.C.

Acknowledgement

I want to thank all my children and their spouses for loving an imperfect mom and my grandchildren that they will continue my legacy and love for the Lord, Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.

Pastor Brent Thomas and Pastor Neil Sawatzky, how I love them and thank them for their patience, love and guidance. They have taught me to Love the Lord and they continue to be pillars of strength for me.

Persevere

After revealing my lost pieces

will I ever be whole again.

My tear drops are

on every page.

KJV – Isaiah 41:10

Fear thou not: for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

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Isaiah 61:1-3

1.  The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

2.  To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

3.  To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

My Story

Old Green Chair

I’ve left out many stolen pieces of my ugly past to protect my family and my emotional health and I will leave those missing pieces in God’s hands. Psalms 23:03. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

I crept out of bed with the sunrise to seek the Lord in my prayer closet, which is actually an old green chair and not a closet at all. It is my private place, my quiet place. That is where I spent a lot of my time praying for independence, considering my life and remembering that the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open unto their prayers.

As I sat comfortably in that old green chair gently tugging on the soft and worn fabric, I begin to reflect on my life. I long for peace and quiet in my mind. I must brace myself for the onslaught of the first memory to be pulled out analyzed, cried and prayed over and now to be written. Those memories that are painful sometimes excruciating. So, I seek the courage to write my past on paper. I’ve lived my life trying to forget that little girl frozen in time. Pretending I’m OK not facing issues. Sometimes it’s better for me not to think. What I experienced in my life has taught me to pretend, always acting like everything is great, hiding behind a sense of humor. I don’t know who I am. A phony maybe? I needed to keep up appearances. I don’t want to minimize my fears. It’s been so hard to look in the mirror most mornings. That little girl’s pain was always there looking back at me.

I snuggled into the deep padding of my green chair letting it embrace me in the quiet dim light, allowing comfort to ease my troubled thoughts. The chair is my private place, and in the early mornings before the chaos erupts with my children rising, it is my safe quiet place. Many times, I’ve tried to write about my life. Trying to draw a story from deep within the hidden dark secret spaces of my mind. It’s similar to the drawing of water from a deep dark well. It is painful to have to go back in time, in detail to examine what happened when I was a little girl and how it has all conspired together to my adulthood. Partial memories, so difficult it makes me tremendously anxious. I close my eyes and take another breath and think. When other young girls spoke of their Daddy’s love for them, I could not imagine experiencing that kind of love. I was a frightened angry young girl, with antisocial tendencies but a strong determination to change my life’s direction and believe at some point in my life I could be a happy person. Rising from my green chair I walk over to my bookshelf that is overloaded with books, piled up in all different directions, categories and all mixed together. I look for my encyclopedia and I find it, and now I reach for my note book and my trusty pen.

I’m not a writer without a pen, so there I sit in my green chair unaware of the world around me or the time passing by. I know that I have a story worth writing and spending time and emotional heartbreak on, it needs to be told. I need to pass through all my fears and continue forward. I want people to read my book, be excited and emotional at the same time. My hope is that they can’t bear to wait to turn the pages and find out what’s happening next.

I’ve been trying so hard for so long, Lord? How do I go about becoming what you want me to be now and know what you are trying to teach me? Show me?

James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

My personal agony, my past being written down in the mornings sitting in my old green chair. My thoughts wander back over the years as I can take three to four hours each day writing and rewriting. I was discovering myself in the process of writings the secrets that have been too long hidden in my mind for years. Trials and the events that have changed my life. I wonder what the lesson was I should have learned. What could I have learned? Is there something even now that I can learn from my recollection?

Jeremiah 30:17 For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast....

Memories are an open door to the past and perhaps a light to the future if wisdom is to be gained. I found my way back to that little girl that I hid in my mind so long ago. It terrified me to think I’m not the person I could have been. I always felt so inadequate and different in every way. That poor little girl was robbed of the happiness that God had planned for her, and dreams she never knew she could have had. I don’t believe I was put on this earth to just survive. My life was to have purpose and meaning, God has made me whole. How could this world around me be so blind? I have had to learn to forgive anyone who has treated me with hatred or abuse. Forgiveness is something you do out of obedience to the Lord because the Lord has forgiven you. God tells us to forgive others in Luke 6:37 forgive and you will be forgiven. Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free. We will all stand before the Lord’s judgment seat.

Lord I pray, help me to forgive completely with my forgiving heart and a humble heart and not expect anything in return. God never fails to forgive you, people do.

I have been through some challenging times. Later in life I realized God’s grace and His never-ending love would always be sufficient. My heart’s desire now is to draw closer to the Lord with encouragement and direction from the solid rock and lasting truth of God’s Word. Memories are not an open door to just the past, but also to your full future, wisdom and maybe even closure. Experiences in our lives, we should let God use the mystery and perfect preparation to do his work, and what he will give us to do. I want other people who are suffering to know that they can come through past challenges and heartaches only with Gods strength not your own. Only with Him can you be victorious and only He holds all your tears and knows your pain.

There’s a Scottish saying; If you put all your troubles in a basket and take them to the curb for everyone to see and you to see theirs, you’d soon run back and get your own. It sounds good, but I think I’d leave my troubles there.

Time

Rehearsing the past through yesterday’s

memories as youth’s gift is tinged with age.

The realities of life do show their years,

as times strong arms continues on its way.

It’s a blistering hot summer’s day, and I’m sitting here sweating, partially because my soon to be divorced husband won’t turn the central air on. I’m now residing in the attic bedroom because of the terrible difficulties between me and my husband. Going through menopause and horribly sweating most of the day. I got a terrible cold because of my hot and cold body and the heat outside, allergies because of the time of the year and a sinus infection. Just lovely! I am fifty years old now and looking back at this life of mine and the people that have surrounded me. I need to write my story down, for myself, my children and my future grandchildren and my adopted son, if he ever comes looking for me. There are usually two people in one’s life that you think could be trusted and loved. Your father and your husband. That was not the case in my life. The depth of an evil man’s heart is massive; it threatens to swallow everyone in its fearsome path. I know the past is always nearby, but do I really want my past to be remembered? Oh Lord Jesus be with me as I write. I don’t want my young past to be my legacy, but I do want others to get strength and healing from my boldness and determination to put my events on paper.

I knew I should be talking to the Pastor or his wife, to help me make decisions in my life and to continue writing my story. Proverbs 11:14, Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety Proverbs 20:5, "Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water: but a man of understanding will draw it out."

A lifetime of a million moments, of giving and taking, fighting, learning and loving, each moment a decision, each decision affecting others, and each decision to be accounted for. I have failed many times to trust God so many times in my life. Now when I find there’s a lack of joy in my life the first thing I need to check is how much time I’m spending in God’s Word. Plenty of time to go out for coffee and with my buddies but not enough time spent in God’s Word alone. I need to continue to grow in wisdom and knowledge of the Lord He is my shield and protector. I’m comforted and feel safe in His arms knowing my life belongs to God, He is my Father and I can trust His Word.

There is something to be said about the experiences of other people, we should listen and take it to heart. Learn from their ragged rocks of reality? The Bible tells us in: Proverbs 19:20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.

In my life so many people have talked with me, advised me, warned me and I just always felt, advice was for others. Oh, the pride and naiveté in me! I can rise above this, I thought, nothing is too hard for me, especially considering what I had already been through as a young girl living with my dad and siblings. I found it hard even to apply the label of dad on him. He was not a dad or a loving father. He was a biological father that’s all. I always called him the old man, so did my siblings. I know it seems very disrespectful but there was no love or respect there at our house for us as children, only fear. As a father he was a complete failure. The verse’ Ephesians 6:4 And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That was not our father. As an adult, years later I was with my sisters just enjoying an afternoon together with cups of tea, crackers and cheese. My oldest sister surprisingly started reminiscing about a few things in her young past. Never was anything bad or any abuses ever spoken about in any family get together. My sister surprised me and said that she never saw the old man until she was about two years old. Of course, I was very curious, I’d never heard that before. She proceeded to tell me that the old man was in prison for