The Diary of a Godchild

By Bridgett Banks

Bridgett Banks is no stranger to adversity: From a young age, she has endured events that left her feeling abandoned, rejected, lonely, and lost in the world of man. But her story is not one of pain and loss—it is a testament to her trust in God, and how she endured and prevailed over the plots of the enemy to destroy the purpose for her l

• Language: English
• Publisher: Purposely Created Publishing Group
• Release date: Dec 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781945558238

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The Diary of a Godchild

Copyright © 2017 Bridgett Banks

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form by any means, graphics, electronics, or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, taping, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews, quotes, or references.

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN: 978-1-945558-22-1

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to you, the reader. May you experience the love of God in each of these pages. You are on God’s mind and He cares deeply for you. My prayer is that will you have moments of reflection that will become transformational and life changing, so that you may obtain your eternal destiny in Christ Jesus.

And to my loving mother, Mary Ann Hill Jones: It is through you, the chosen vessel who God pre-selected for me to be birthed through, that I have the inherited the vehement desire to tell others about Jesus Christ. Your love will forever reside in my heart. Rest in heavenly peace and may God bless your soul.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Daddy’s Girl

The Truth About Sex

Finding My Purpose: It’s a Choice!

The Death Penalty

Created on Purpose

No, Not That One!

The Beauty of Color (Marriage)

No...Not Me

In Everything Give Thanks

The Gaping Hole Of Religion

Making Peace with Your Past

Breaking Cycles

About the Author

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To my dear husband, Shanton: Thank you for your tremendous sacrifices and dedication to supporting our wonderful family.

To my children who have shown love and allowed me to invest in the time to write this book: I pray that, one day, you guys too will fulfill the commission to reach the lost. I love you with all of my heart and soul. You are appreciated more than words can ever express.

Dad, thank you for caring for me the best way you knew how. Thank you for staying in my life, even though things were not perfect. All of those adversities helped shape me into who I am today.

Hattie, thank you for stepping in for my mom. You didn’t have to and it takes a very special vessel to be able to do so. I want to say I appreciate you, from the bottom of my heart.

Eris, you were there to fill the gaps, and because of that, my life has been made so much better. I cannot thank you enough for being there and encouraging me from childhood until now. You stayed up on the phone with me for many hours so I could get my homework done, and whenever I had a problem, you were there to talk it through with me. Every child with the challenges I faced needs a gap-dweller like you. You will forever reserve a special place in my heart. Thank you!

Mr. Vincent Rosse, thank you for going above and beyond the call of duty as my band director. You served as a father figure to me in one of the most critical times of my life and taught me how to be a lady, alongside ways to uphold the spirit of excellence. You engraved into me the principle, Hard work, pays off—period! Thank you for being a part of my life.

LaToya Burnette, woman of God: Words cannot express my gratitude for your amazing friendship. Thank you for your love, consistency, and just being there for me. You will never know how much your being in my life has simply changed my life. Thank you!

Alisha, thank you for the wisdom you have imparted into me over time. You have been the best teacher, intercessor, encourager, and friend I could ever ask for. You are a powerful woman of God, and I appreciate you being in my life.

Victoria, thank you for showing love through everything. You have been a friend and encourager, through thick and thin.

Dr. Joyce Gilmer: Special thanks to you for being a willing vessel who has poured out much in order to help me in so many ways, especially by being the midwife in my birthing of this book. Thank you—you are amazing!

Pastor Richard Miller, words could never express how appreciative I am of you for believing in me from day one. You have always spoken words of life to me.

And Lady Rose Miller, my spiritual mom, you have shown me an undeniably great love. I appreciate you for everything.

Gordon Miller: I know you did not expect to be in here, but thank you for being my supporter from when you first met me. Your words always gave me life. Thank you!

Bishop Stephen Brunson and Angela Brunson: Thank you for helping me build my foundation. Your labor of love has not been forgotten.

To Pastor Rodney and Zena Young: I met you guys in one of the most difficult times in my life—the loss of my mom—and the love you guys have shown me is simply priceless. Thank you for being willing vessels in the Kingdom of God. You guys will forever hold a special place in my heart.

Craig Savage, my spiritual big brother, thank you for pushing me to finish the book. You said something that stuck with me when I was considering writing this book: Not writing the book is saying others don’t deserve the grace you received from God.

My prayer is that each vessel will feel and know the measure of God’s love and grace for His people. Thank you to everyone—family, friends, co-workers, and as associates—who encouraged me through this journey. May God bless you and, again, I would like to share a huge Thank You! My heart is filled with gratitude to have met each of you on my path.

FOREWORD

As a young boy, I remember playing games at my best friend’s house. We ran between the rooms, jumping from bed to bed, having the time of our lives. At one point, I grabbed a pillow from his older sister’s bed and threw it at him, but when I looked back at the bed, I saw it: The book that his sister would always write in and hold tightly to her chest if anyone came near her. I once asked her if I could read it and she replied, Over my dead body. And yet, here was that coveted book. I looked at my friend and he looked at me, and for what seemed like an eternity, we both stared at her diary. Then, we did what any eleven-year-old boys would do in that situation. We read it from cover to cover and then teased her mercilessly.

However, when my friend’s parents came home, we quickly understood the ramifications of our actions and had to suffer the consequences. That day, I learned how personal and private a diary can be; it is a window to a person’s soul and should be respected and cherished.

Bridgett Banks has pulled the proverbial pillow back and allowed us to read her diary from cover to cover. We are blessed to have this opportunity to look through the window of her life and see the transformation of a vessel on the potter’s wheel. God told Jeremiah to go down to the potter’s to see the craftsman work at the wheel, and Jeremiah saw the potter shape and reshape a marred piece of clay into something much more. In writing this book, The Diary of a Godchild, Bridgett has allowed us to be like Jeremiah and we have the opportunity to see her life, although marred, reshaped in the hands of Jesus. I believe these chapters will have a profound impact on every person who takes the time to read her story; this voice of a dynamic minister of the gospel, fulfilling the commandment, Go, spread the gospel of Jesus Christ!

Richard Miller, Senior Pastor

Perfecting Grace, National City, CA

PREFACE

diary

[dahy-uh-ree]

a daily record, usually private, especially of the writer’s own experiences, observations, feelings, attitudes, etc.

godfather [god-fah-th er]

to act as godfather to; be sponsor or protector for.

godchild

[god-chahyld]

a child for whom a godparent serves as sponsor.

This diary tell the story of a young country girl, lost in all the chaos of the world and trying to map how everything draws together for the identity, purpose, and plan God had for her life.

I was born under a generational curse and I needed the key to reverse the curse so that I would be able to walk in God’s blessing of eternal life. You may ask: What is a generational curse? God has revealed to me that the curse was created over many generation(s) before me by all those who refused to walk in obedience under the power of God. But as devastating as the curse was, it was simple to reverse it: I only had to walk in obedience under the power of God in my own life. It took time and many life-changing experience, but as my story began to unfold, I began to realize that He was not delaying answering my prayer, but was molding me to walk in the identity He had already given me even before I came to know Him personally. The many challenges I faced and the tears I cried were not a waste, but key steps to my blessed victory.

Each of us has a yearning to fill a void in our lives, but such emptiness is not meant to be filled with people or things, nor is it meant to destroy us. Only God can fill that void and make us whole through our faith in Christ Jesus. With that being said, as I walked this journey, God has placed people in my life who have sponsored me through the difficult times of my search for who I was and what I was to grab hold of. I spent much of my childhood hurt, angry, and frustrated, feeling like I was born to be tortured because I could not make sense of all my troubles. Even in the good times, I felt empty. I wanted my mom to be a certain way and at the age of seven, I was no longer living with her. I wanted my dad to be more present in my life and be the role model I needed him to be, but despite his love for me, he was battling drug addiction. There were times I would watch the Cosby’s on television and cry, wishing I had that perfect family.

Though my perfect family never came to be in that way, I have now come to realize that my parents were important vessels who both helped me to become the Woman of God He had intended and purposed before I was born. When I was younger, I was taught well to believe in God and was raised in church, but I had not yet encountered a relationship with God for myself. Later in my life, when He began to reveal Himself to me, things began to make sense. I began to heal when I began to experience Him as my Heavenly Father. I spent so much time desiring what I didn’t have that I missed out on all the joy in God’s process. I want to encourage you reading this book: Just because God doesn’t do things the way you think they ought to be done doesn’t mean He isn’t doing them for you. My prayer is that God reveals to you how He is molding your life— when you see it,