Travel in Stitches: Laugh Through Your Journey

By Patrick Sam

We all love going on vacation, but getting there isnt
always half the fun. Recent Research has revealed
that travelling has been a stressful experience for many,
contributing to the increase in blood pressure whilst the
recent economic trauma has compounded the problem.
In this book, the author tries to reach out to the everyday
traveller with this carefully compiled and edited everyday
jokes without prejudice.
Whether youre travelling by Plane, Train, Ferry or Coach this book will hopefully
put you at ease and put a smile on your face. Most of us who have been involved
in the unpleasant and stressful side of travelling can all agree that any antidote to a
stressful journey will be more than welcomed. It can equally be enjoyed at home or
the work place.
Laughter is one of the healthiest antidotes to stress. When we laugh or even smile,
Endorphins are released enhancing blood flow to the brain.
Laugh a lot and when youre older all your wrinkles will be in the right places
*AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
Ps. Author apologizes to anyone who finds any joke offensive.
WATCHOUT FOR VOL.2

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Apr 13, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456894290

Book preview

Copyright © 2011 by Patrick Sam.

ISBN:          Softcover                                 978-1-4568-9428-3

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4568-9429-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

0-800-644-6988

www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk

[e-mail]

301859

Contents

Introduction

Life’s Philosophy

The Prescription

,,Don’t Mess With Grandma

Why I Fired My Secretary

Father Joseph

Be Careful What You Wish For

The Polish Remover

Mechanisms Of The Stock Market

Why I Gave Up On Baked Beans

Simply Madness…

If Only Men Understood The Meaning Of,,,

I Wish I’ll Never Grow Old

,,,,,Kids Stuff

Brilliant Kids…

The Guy With Family Problems

Ooopsss!!!!

,,,The Smart Dog

The Fbi Job

What A Husband

Mistaken Identity

The Smart Lad,,,,

Baptizing A Drunk

Smart Leaders

,,,Men Under Attack

Simple Logic

How I Stopped My Old Aunties Bugging Me!

For The Lads

Tit For Tat

World Economics Simplified

My Dad Is The Most Coward

Oops,, Too Late Capt.

Blind Man Hits Back,,

Prison V. Work

I Love This Church

Family Secrets

She Asked For It!!!!

The Doctor’s Funeral

No.1 Dad

Indescent Roposal

A Lady’s Prayer

,,Men Will Always Be Men,,,

Visa Interview

Spanish Lessons

Square Balls

The Phone Call

Somebody’s Raising Their Kid Right!

For The Ladies

Politics Simplified

By All Means… Marry!

We Are Zulus

Confident Salesman

The Pastor’s Last Wish

Confession

The Vain Nigerian

Speeding Hyms

Tit Bits

Life Sentence!

Prophetic Daughter

Why Men Are Never Depressed

,,,,,Real Courtroom Dramas

Human Geography

,,Wrong Number

Issues In Marriage!!!

The Obedient Wife

The Genesis Of Women’s Problems

Smart Thinking Pakistani Immigrant,,,

Smartest Lad Ever

Genuine Kids’ Concerns

Some Old Men Can Still Think Fast…

Words

The Pregnant Lady

Chocolate Peanuts

Heaven Clock

What Is Your Obsession?

Extra Marital Affairs… .

Unlucky Wish

Modern Technology

The Pensioner’s New Hat

Wife Vs Husband

Interesting Mix-Ups

The Innocent Calf

The Proud Daddy

Llfe Can Be Tough When You’re Stupid. (True Stories)

Finally; Something Mind Boggling

DEDICATION

A compilation of everyday JOKES dedicated to travellers around the world hoping they arrive at their respective destinations with a smile on their faces.

Being happy does not mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to see beyond the imperfections,

,,, Phil Kwashie’s blog

Acknowledgements

I first of all give thanks to the Good Lord who gave me the strength and wisdom to make this day possible.

I am grateful to all my friends and family who inspired and supported me along the way. I share whatever achievement with you.

Life’s best lessons are learnt in the most difficult of times.

. . . G. Chenwi’s blog

image003.jpg

Loads of love

Foreword

LAUGHTER IS THE MANIFESTATION OF JOY, AMUSEMENT OR MIRTH. IT IS AN AUDIBLE EXPRESSION OR THE APPEARANCE OF HAPPINESS OR AN INWARD FEELING OF JOY…

. . . according to the Oxford Advanced Dictionary.

There’s a lot of searching going on these days for the elusive emotion of "being happy. Happiness allows us to think positive and consider many things in an optimistic way. It is the greatest feeling of satisfaction which is incomparable.

Simple, HAPPINESS is inside you. It’s a kind of blissfulness that nobody can do except you.

1. Throw out nonessential numbers like; age, weight and height. Let the Doctors, worry about them. That is why you pay them!

2. Make sure you keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. No one is in charge of your happiness but You. Just make peace with your past so it doesn’t screw your future.

4. Don’t take yourself too seriously because no one else does. What other people think of you is none of your business

5. Try not to compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we would grab ours back so quick.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

7. Cherish your health: If it is good preserve it, if it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

8. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laughter is the only method used to exercise your facial muscles.

*Remember; laugh and everybody laughs with you,

but snore and you sleep alone… . lol

Introduction

DO YOU REALISE; Today is the Tomorrow you worried about Yesterday?

The following is an old parable but it is one of those classics that could be read every day as a gentle reminder of the important things in your Life as you start a new day. Credit to Laura Bankston, author of Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee.

LIFE’S PHILOSOPHY

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded