Bumper Stickers on the Clouds: Humor and Essays from an Uncommon Christian

By Ron Ritts

Did you ever look at the clouds in the sky and notice the bumper stickers God has pasted on them to try and get our attention? Bumper Stickers on the Clouds presents some of the signs you may have missed.

The essays and humorous stories included within will help you to relax, laugh, and provide some new perspectives on your Christian journey. Bible references and the re-telling of Bible stories and verses assist in furthering the understanding and thinking that we must use in order to successfully carry out Gods plan for each of us.

Do you ever have questions about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or the Bible? What about the creation story? Who exactly was at fault in the whole Garden of Eden fiasco? How many of each animal did Moses take on the ark? (Answer: zero. It was Noah with the animals, not Moses, but even ministers fall for this old joke!)

Laughter is one of Gods great gifts to us. In the world today, we sometimes are too quick to not see the humor of our earthly life. We become offended rather than realize how therapeutic laughter can be. Keep your heart light and be joyful!

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 31, 2013
• ISBN: 9781490818481

Ron Ritts

Ron Ritts is a member of the Christian family. He now devotes his full time to writing and speaking on Christian life in today‘s world. Ron has experience in several business industries, and has worked as a retail manager, buyer, and training manager. Ron lives with his loving wife, Christy, in Westerville, a city near Columbus, in central Ohio. They have three grown children and two grandchildren.

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Copyright © 2013 Ronald H. Ritts.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-1849-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-1850-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-1848-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013922048

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/27/2013

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CONTENTS

Dedication

Preface

Acknowledgement

- Gracious And Glorious Thanks

Introduction

- Suggestions For Reading This Book

1. Bumper Stickers On The Clouds

2. Creation

3. Man And Woman

4. Bar Humor

5. Biblical Truth

6. Jonah Goes On A Cruise

7. Proverbs From The Book – Or Are They?

8. Proverbs From The Book – Or Are They? Answers!

9. Christmas And Easter

10. The Trinity

11. Apologetics

12. Favorite Bible Stories

13. Favorite Bible Verses

14. Prayer - Sin, Forgiveness, And Atonement

15. Fasting For A Lifetime

16. Bad News, Good News, Great News

17. Everlasting Life

18. Grandpa

19. Napping

20. Fear Of God

21. Do Unto Others The Jesus Way

22. Interesting Observations

On The Bible And Life In General

23. Where Do I Sign Up?

24. Bumper Stickers On The Clouds

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DEDICATION

This book was written for all the people who believe that it is our God-given right to laugh, think, and think when we laugh.

Being a Christian is a life-long occupation. We never stop learning and we never stop getting better at becoming closer to God. But, as in the earthly life itself, we must always study, practice, learn from others, and serve a purpose.

Hopefully this book will make you think! The rewards of living as a Christian are fully resolved in the Everlasting, not in the earthly context!

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PREFACE

Quite often, I have found that humor is a good way to get the attention of many people. It enables them to laugh, smile, relax, and feel at ease. Humor can also be used as an extension of the Christian Life to bring The Word to more people and challenge them to think about what they are reading or hearing. The following pages will revive memories, present some new thoughts, and make you smile.

This body of work contains notes and writings from many years of just jotting things down. There are those things that pop into your mind like an inspiration from God, but then, as you develop the idea, you begin to wonder Why would I think of such a thing? Finally, I had so many items amassed that God presented what His plan was all along: use them to bring the importance of The Word to others. Use the writings to both amuse and to remind all Christians (or potential Christians) of the confirmation and conviction needed to attain Eternity with Him.

I know that Christians today are dedicated to the church and to God’s service, but may also get tied up in their own emotions and opinions in many church functions or meetings. For instance, belonging to a church committee and attempting to decide how many committees it takes to change a light bulb. Or who should change the bulb. Or what committee decides how bright it should be. Or How are we going to pay for it?

Please always remember to be joyful in your Christian Faith. Our complicated and busy lives also compete with our Faith values and Faith time. Many situations we find ourselves in can result in a myriad of emotions: up, down, happy, sad, depressed, angry, and on and on. But always Be Joyful and Trust God.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

- GRACIOUS AND GLORIOUS THANKS

I would like to thank all who contributed to the writing of this book.

Praise and Thanks to God for finally saying GO, and for Being.

Thank you to Jesus for always being by my side and providing the superb material for the basis of most of my subject matter.

Thank you to the Holy Spirit for support, inspiration, and motivation.

Thank you to my very loving and very patient wife, who for over forty years has supported me in everything I do. I am still falling in love with her, despite the dozens, no hundreds of eye-rolls and head-shakes she has given me through the years. She was thrilled to accept God’s proposition of my call to work full time as an author and speaker. Her support continues to energize and motivate me.

Thank