Dear God, We Need to Talk: Wrestling With God on Questions of Life and Faith

By Darren Schalk

Why is there suffering?

What does God really think of me?

And why does He make me work so hard?

 

We all have questions about God. He does some things we don’t understand. He does things we don’t like. He sometimes even does things that, quite honestly, annoy us. Why does He do what He does? Doesn’t He know that we need answers?

 

If we could just figure Him out, life--as well as faith--would be so much easier.

 

But life and faith aren’t easy, are they? Evil invades our world. Bad things happen all around us. People die every day for the mere lack of food and water. And in the midst of it all, we’re asked by God to believe in an absolutely unbelievable story.

 

Dear God, We Need to Talk helps you explore your toughest questions about God. Tackling everything from family issues to God’s sovereignty Darren Schalk considers what he’s been taught, applies it to everyday events you can relate to, and then filters it all through a modern but biblical worldview in a delightfully witty and honest way. Leaving you, in the end, with more confidence in God’s power, His wisdom and His direction for your life.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Charisma House
• Release date: Mar 4, 2014
• ISBN: 9781621363033

Book preview

From the title on, this book has a tongue-in-cheek style used to take on and tackle some of the more nagging questions we face as people wrestling with life and faith. In its down-to-earth manner this piece makes some pretty sobering questions relevant and even humorous to us all. Darren Schalk walks us toward greater faith and stronger witness using his irreligious style. Obviously this book can be used for the not-so-religious, to draw them into real conversations about life’s hard questions. But the learned believer will also find in these pages a new way to look at life and faith that can help us all communicate with a world that often no longer speaks our language. Enjoy!

—R. E. HOWARD

GENERAL OVERSEER EMERITUS,

CHURCH OF GOD OF PROPHECY

We find it amazing that often what we dislike about someone turns around and becomes what is most endearing about them to us. This book helps showcase that in the best light.

—JEREMI AND AMY RICHARDSON

MEMBERS, CCM GROUP, AVALON

I believe God welcomes our questions and our doubts. As with His disciple Thomas, He does not turn away from us, but rather He uses those moments to come closer. If you’ve ever questioned God, and you’re honest enough to admit it, read these pages and find Him closing in on you.

—WARREN BARFIELD

SINGER/SONGWRITER/SPEAKER AND

DOVE AWARD–NOMINATED RECORDING ARTIST

I appreciate struggle and doubt—I think they’re essential to thoughtful faith. So I was encouraged by Darren Schalk’s honesty and transparency. His doubts and ultimate faith in God’s grace and goodness will be an encouragement to you on your spiritual journey.

—ED STETZER

WWW.EDSTETZER.COM

Today I read Darren’s book. It made me laugh; it made me cry. It lightened a load I have been carrying. I will be buying copies for all of my staff and many of my friends. I think everyone needs to laugh, cry, and have their burdens lifted, even if it is for just a short period of time.

—PAUL W. SMITH

MANAGING EDITOR, RADIANT LIFE CURRICULUM,

GOSPEL PUBLISHING HOUSE

THE ASSEMBLIES OF GOD NATIONAL

LEADERSHIP AND RESOURCE CENTER

So many believers find themselves second-guessing God’s motives, but fewer of them do so with the wit and perspective of my friend Darren Schalk. In Dear God, We Need to Talk Darren approaches the big questions of faith while maintaining a respectful tone, a grateful heart, and a somewhat misguided desire to do stand-up comedy. God love him.

—DEWAYNE HAMBY

MANAGING EDITOR, THE WHITE WING MESSENGER

FREELANCE WRITER,CHARISMA, NEW MAN,

CHRISTIAN RETAILING

Once while Darren and I were golfing, I stumbled upon an alligator in a pond while trying to retrieve my ball. As I edged away from the gator, Darren headed toward it with his three wood. So I actually believe him when he writes about sledding under barbwire, capturing a giant (plywood) moose, and gallantly going to a devilish tree farm. And I am glad that the Darren I know from our work together on a Bible curriculum team—probing, questioning, being authentic—shines through in this thought-generating book.

—LANCE COLKMIRE

MANAGING EDITOR, CHURCH OF GOD PUBLICATIONS

DIRECTOR, LOCAL ROYAL FAMILY KIDS CAMP

Darren Schalk asks the question I have asked too many times, Why can’t God do things my way? If we are honest, we all want our way, but Schalk definitely shows why God’s way is better. The reader will feel this work is conversational and written in today’s language with true emotions felt by the masses. It’s refreshing to see a work that is biblically based, inspirational, and yet humorous. Dear God, We Need to Talk is that work.

—RICHIE HUGHES

FORMER EXECUTIVE PASTOR WITH

JENTEZEN FRANKLIN AT FREE CHAPEL,

AUTHOR OFSTART HERE, GO ANYWHERE

This is the best book ever written in the history of mankind, second only to the Bible. You should immediately buy ten and give it to all your friends.

—KARIN SCHALK WATSON

DARREN’S MOM

Most CHARISMA HOUSE BOOK GROUP products are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchase for sales promotions, premiums, fund-raising, and educational needs. For details, write Charisma House Book Group, 600 Rinehart Road, Lake Mary, Florida 32746, or telephone [phone].

DEAR GOD, WE NEED TO TALK by Darren Schalk

Published by Passio

Charisma Media/Charisma House Book Group

600 Rinehart Road

Lake Mary, Florida 32746

www.charismahouse.com

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations marked CEV are from the Contemporary English Version, copyright © 1995 by the American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked THE MESSAGE are from The Message: The Bible in Contemporary English, copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Copyright © 2013 by Darren Schalk

All rights reserved

Cover design by Rachel Lopez

Design Director: Bill Johnson

Visit the author’s website at www.discipleshipink.com.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013911069

International Standard Book Number: 978-1-62136-302-6

E-book ISBN: 978-1-62136-303-3

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors or for changes that occur after publication.

This book is dedicated to my dad, Terry Schalk, who portrayed true biblical faith in his life and in his death.

And whose twisted sense of humor lives on in me.

It is also dedicated to my children, Jake, Abby, and Alli, and my wife, Kristi, who displays God’s unrelenting love for me every single day.

And who continually rolls her eyes at said sense of humor.

CONTENTS

Introduction: God

(and Various Other Things That Confuse Me)

1 Dear God, I Told You So

(When I Want to Win an Argument With God)

2 Tiny the Giant, Lollipops, and Magic Wands

(When God’s Simpler Than I Want Him to Be)

3 A Family Affair

(Is God’s Family as Crazy as Mine?)

4 Taking the Easy Road

(Why Does God Make Me Work So Hard?)

5 Are You a Fire Starter?

(When God Doesn’t Save Me From Myself)

6 Pennies From Heaven

(When God Doesn’t Provide the Way I’d Expect)

7 A Question of Timing

(Can We Please Work by My Schedule?)

8 Don’t Mess With Happy

(If God Doesn’t Change, Why Should I?)

9 Does God Ever Blink the Eyes on the Back of His Head?

(When I Want to Get Away With Wrongdoing)

10 Mirror Image

(When I Don’t Like What I See)

11 The Shadow of Rest

(When God Doesn’t Make Everything Better)

12 Disneyland Burned Down

(When God Disappoints Me)

13 Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster Without Puking

(When I Wish God Hadn’t Invented Emotions)

14 Love, Love, Love

(When I Want to Earn What I Get From God)

15 Dear God, Are You Insane?

(When God Wants Me to Stop Sinning)

16 No More Tears, No More Pain

(When I Wish I Was God)

Epilogue: The One With No Stories

INTRODUCTION

GOD

(and Various Other Things That Confuse Me)

DOES GOD EVER confuse and perplex you? Or wait—a better question: Does God ever annoy you?

We’ll come back to that question. Until then here’s another: Have you ever had a pet peeve? I’ve had a few. One that always gets me nowadays is when people use catch phrases improperly—probably because I was guilty of this once.

While on one of my first dates as a sixteen-year-old ball of hormones, I said one of the dumbest things ever. My date asked me what types of things I enjoyed doing. I played basketball at the time for my high school, and I shared this with her. I told her basketball was my pet peeve. Later on I learned the true meaning of the phrase. I wrote her a letter clarifying my mistake. For this reason, using catch phrases in improper ways is now a personal pet peeve (which means I don’t like it . . . I think).

Now that I understand what the phrase pet peeve actually means, I can tell you one of my ultimate pet peeves is when females tap their fingernails on things. I say females because I’ve never seen a male with fingernails long enough to do such a thing. I suppose some male out there probably has nails long enough, though, so perhaps I should clarify—I don’t like the sound of tapping fingernails—by males or females.

I can pick up the sound of a clicking nail a mile away. My wife’s best friend has the habit of doing this very thing. I keep insisting to Kristi that she ditch her friend for this reason, but Kristi doesn’t think my annoyance is a good enough reason to dump her best friend. We have agreed to disagree.

The best friend often clicks all her fingernails together. It’s the worst possible form of nail-clicking because it combines two sets of nails, and they all click at the same time against each other. If you simply click your nails on a table or a counter, it’s not near as bad, but it still cuts straight to the heart. The double click should be outlawed in all fifty states.

The nail-clicking pet peeve has even affected my practice of worship in the past. We worked as youth pastors for a few years after college. Kristi and I sang on the praise team on Sunday mornings. I had the privilege of standing next to our piano player/song leader/ pastor’s wife/craziest-driver-I’ve-ever-known while we sang. She enjoyed dressing to the hilt, so she often had long, painted fingernails. And for some reason she always hit the piano keys with her fingernails rather than her fingers. Every time she played a chord, I’d hear the click of the fingernails. I’m not sure if the nails were fake or real, but it didn’t matter. They all made the same annoying click.

I tried to block it. I sang loud. I clapped louder. I moved closer to the monitor to try and drown it out. But it was all for naught. The click always got to me. Of course, there were those days when things got interesting. I always knew God’s presence was thick when I could no longer hear the click. It’s always the little miracles that mean the most.

We all have pet peeves. If you’re married, there’s undoubtedly something about your spouse that annoys you to no end. My wife, Kristi, eats mayonnaise on crackers. She actually hid this from me the first three years of our marriage. One day I caught her in the midst of her hidden sin, sporting the guiltiest oops-I-just-got-caught-look I’ve ever seen. She then admitted her problem. She also, for some reason, never tightens the cap on anything. I’ve spilled countless jugs of milk and juice because of this horrible little habit.

I’m sure I do a few things to annoy her too. She hates that I leave my clothes lying on the floor in the bedroom when I change. I claim I do this because I’m always in such a hurry to get out of the bedroom so I can spend time with her and the kids. I’m just trying to be a good husband and father, that’s all. She calls me a liar. I would call it intelligent storytelling.

Parents inevitably do things that wear on our nerves. While I was growing up, my mom had the uncanny ability to grab the diet drink instead of the regular drink from the grocery store shelf. I’d come in from a long, hot day of mowing the lawn only to find diet cola in the fridge. When I would inquire about such things, she had no explanation. You do the shopping, then! was her usual response. So I settled for the diet cola.

My dad had numerous annoying habits. Talking to every stranger that passed him by was at the top of the list. He was never shy. And for some reason, strangers seemed to enjoy his corny jokes and never-ending questions.

I recall one incident when he was at a grocery store. He had been having some car trouble and noticed a similar car in the grocery store parking lot. While in his suit, he crawled under this car in the parking lot, hoping to see something that might help him figure out his own car dilemma. While he was under the car, the owner of the vehicle walked out of the grocery store. Upon seeing two foreign legs in suit pants sticking out from under his car, rather than immediately calling the cops as he most likely should have, the owner asked, Uh, can I help you? My dad then proceeded to tell the owner exactly what he was doing. Before we knew it, there were two sets of legs sticking out from under the