Spiritual Two-By-Fours and Other Wake-Up Calls: What to Do When Life Hits You Upside the Head

By Kimberly Rooney

Are you feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and without purpose? Do you feel like a cast member, deck crew, employee, or stagehand in your own life?

In this book, author Kimberly Rooney shows you how to take control of your life and become your own director, captain, CEO, choreographer, and policymaker. Its the wake-up call youve been longing forthe doorway to finding your inner strength and voice.

Kims own dance with adversity began at age twenty-nine, when she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritiswhich she affectionately refers to as Arthur. In Spiritual Two-by-Fours, she shares her journeyher dance with Arthurto find the mix of gifts that made her director and choreographer of her life. With openness and vulnerability, she shares what you need to know so that you too can overcome any adversitywhether physical, emotional, or spiritual.

Whether you have created your challenges or they have cut in to your life dance, you get to choose how you respond. You get to take responsibility for your happiness, inner peace, and overall well-being.

You have what it takes. You have the power within. And you can shift your life to make it spectacular. So make yourself head policymaker of your own life and get ready for the rideknowing that Spiritual Two-by-Fours will guide you every step of the way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Aug 9, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452575469

Kimberly Rooney

Diagnosed at age twenty-nine with rheumatoid arthritis, Kim Rooney chose to see the RA as a gift that gave her purpose, rather than allow it to dishearten her dance with life. She is driven to inspire others to find their personal power and dance through life and its challenges with grace.

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Copyright © 2013 Kimberly Rooney.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4525-7545-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-7547-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-7546-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013910084

Balboa Press rev. date: 07/31/2013

CONTENTS

Preface

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

PART 1 WHERE TO START

1 A New Dance: The Gift of Courage

2 Choreographer or Cast Member? The Gift of Self-Awareness

3 Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: The Gift of Self-Love

4 Do You Want To Live in a Five-Star Resort or a Rundown Shanty? The Gift of a Healthy Body

PART 2 LET YOUR HEART GUIDE YOU

5 Holding Ourselves Hostage: The Gift of Forgiveness

6 Connecting the Dots: The Gift of Gratitude

7 Isn’t that Fascinating? The Gift of Compassion

PART 3 ACTIONS MAKE IT HAPPEN

8 Time with Me: The Gift of Meditation

9 Dance Like Nobody’s Watching: The Gift of Play

 10  What Do You Really Want? The Gift of Manifesting

 11  Learning to Quickstep: The Gift of Vulnerability

Recommended Resources

About Kimberly Rooney

The Arthritis Foundation

For Mike and Allie, who have shown me endless amounts

of love and support. You held my hand as we jumped together

with courage into the uncertainty of following a dream!

You make dancing with life so much fun.

I love you both with all my heart!

Preface

T oday is one of those perfect days. The kind of day when you wake up, see the crystal blue sky and the sun rising over the horizon—and your soul starts fluttering like a butterfly. This is the feeling of anything is possible and something fabulous will come of this day. These kind of perfect days are good for the soul.

It’s the summer of 1990 and I’m twenty-four years old. There is nothing better than summer in the city of lakes. The energy in the air is so alive it takes my breath away. The lakes are full of life, with people running, walking, biking, swimming, and playing at the beach. It’s Tuesday, and a few friends and I are headed to Lake Minnetonka.

You know Lake Minnetonka, made famous by Prince in Purple Rain. The lake area is home to many of the city’s millionaires. The homes are magnificent, the boats are large, and the fun is big! Even on a Tuesday, the lake is bustling with the sounds of boat engines.

My friend launches his boat and we’re in for a day of water skiing—one of my greatest passions. When I’m skiing, I feel powerful, alive, and free. The sound of the ski cutting through the water moves through my body, creating an exhilaration that fuels each turn. I find my body surrendering to the speed, as I launch across the wake at each turn and embrace the adrenaline rush again and again. It’s the closest feeling I can imagine to being a superhero. I am grateful for the strength and physical ability it takes to enjoy such an amazing sport.

Today we are in search of a quiet bay. Generally, no waves and no wind make skiing all that more incredible. A crystal clear lake reflecting the shoreline is a skier’s dream. The calm, sedate water allows the ski to glide freely outside the boat wake. The sound of the beveled ski and rudder cut through the liquid mirror like the edge of a beautiful diamond.

Without resistance, the water opens its arms as a long, carving turn creates a spray of water trailing from the ski—beautiful! It is even more important on this Tuesday, because I’m learning how to barefoot ski.

Once we find the spot, Terry hands me two wet suits and says, Put these on.

Why do I need two wet suits? It’s 80 degrees out today, I reply with confusion and sass.

With a grin he laughs and utters, You’ll thank me later. I put on the wet suits and hop in the water with my ski in hand. He’s teaching me off a boom, a long pole attached to the boat off the passenger side, level with the driver.

My task is to get up on one ski, plant my free foot in the water lightly, release the ski on the other foot, and place that foot in the water. To my surprise I DO IT—I’m suddenly skiing on my own two feet!

Now it’s cheating a bit to hold on to a boom, which is much more stable than a tow rope, but when barefoot skiing, the boat is traveling at speeds upward of 40 mph. Before I started, Terry’s final instruction was, Whatever you do, do not look at me when you have both feet in the water.

Yep, I look at him. That is an automatic face plant! There is no other way to describe it—and that is the very reason I was wearing two padded wetsuits. I do thank him!

On the way home from the lake, you can only imagine my sense of accomplishment. The feeling of awe that I’ve done what I truly never thought I could. I feel as if I could run a marathon or two! The perma-grin lasts for days. Sports, whether it’s water skiing, softball, volleyball, basketball, or tennis—I love them all, and they create a part of me that feels free and confident.

As I reach Lake Nokomis, almost home, my thoughts wander. What would I do if I ever lost my physical ability? The ability that grants me such joy playing the sports I love.

Now twenty-plus years later, I look back on that day and smile with gratitude for the amazing sense of joy sports brought me, the gift of athleticism, and an intuition that guides me. Little did I know that that moment was a look into the future, one that I could not even imagine at the time. What I call my early midlife crisis was right around the corner, and it would change my life forever.

Just six years later, at the age of twenty-nine, I was diagnosed with moderate to severe Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Meet Arthur

The first symptoms of arthritis did not faze me. As with everything, I assumed I could be fixed up and continue with life as I knew it. But as the pain and swelling worsened to a point where I couldn’t function and perform normal daily tasks, I started to panic. Not only was I physically in a lot of pain, I was also terrified life would never be the same. And I was right: RA changed my life forever.

The gripping reality that this was to be my burden for the remainder of my life was beyond frightening; it left me feeling vulnerable, dazed, and scared about what my future held. I had always been a physically strong and capable person, and now I needed assistance doing the most basic tasks in life. I felt self-conscious and ashamed of my inability to care for myself.

What would I do if I lost my physical ability?

I was now faced with finding an answer to this question or transforming the question into one I could accept. My first version of the question became, What is this and when is it going away? That was my constant thought as I struggled to get out of bed, walk up steps, tie my daughter’s shoes, brush her hair, or even open my mouth wide enough to eat a fork full of food.

The first two years were agonizing, not only physically, but emotionally as well. I felt as though my sense of freedom and independence had suddenly been stripped from my personality.

Now what?

I defined myself as a strong-willed, independent, and athletic individual. Who will I be? What have I done to deserve this? Why me? These questions and many more left me feeling frightened, hopeless, and lost. These feelings were foreign to me. They had never been a part of my life. I had no idea what to do with them other than express them through tears.

One night, about eighteen months into dealing with the disease, as I sat in a tub of hot water, crying and doing anything to relieve the pain, the light broke through. I had reached the point of complete despair, a point at which I had a brief glance at my heart that allowed me to get out of my head long enough to look at a new way of thinking.

My heart was talking through my body—and I was not hearing it. Like many of my generation, I was used to living my life based on the direction provided by my mind. The discipline associated with analytical decision-making gave me some comfort that I was making intelligent decisions.

Unfortunately, this also resulted in a certain ignorance regarding my heart and feelings. I was accustomed to leading with my head, as though my heart and body were not attached. In my despair, my aching heart wanted me to understand my pain and take control in a new way. At that moment my heart was saying, Kim, you are a young woman with lots of living to do. This is not who you are. You are not defined by your physical ability any more than you are defined by arthritis. Stop limiting yourself. Your passion for life is who you are and your passion will give you the strength to move forward. It is time to manage this instead of letting it manage you.

As my tears released with my despair, this amazing glimpse of my heart granted me a sense of freedom. It was as though I shed a huge gray cloud that had followed my every move, and I could feel the sun again.

The challenge was getting out of the tub, still in pain, and putting it all into motion. It wasn’t easy, and it certainly didn’t happen overnight. But I was determined to remember my heart’s focus and directly confront those despairing questions when they crept back into the forefront of my mind. Determination to be me—and not Rheumatoid Arthritis—was going to keep me focused and driven.

There began the journey, a dance with my new partner.

While writing this and recalling my feelings in the first years of living with RA, it amazes me the sheer volume of words it takes to describe that time in my life. The bottom line is that for many years it interrupted and disheartened my passion for life. Picture a bright, glowing flame dancing on top of a tall, luminous, tiki torch in your backyard, and then picture the cap putting out the flame. That was me!

The Journey Begins

But after seventeen years of growth and exploring life, I now look at RA as a gift. That journey took me through many phases of pain, tolerance, strength, discovery, defiance, sometimes self-pity (I can admit it), and reliance on a positive attitude. It required a willingness to strike the match to relight the flame of passion for life.

Now, I understand partners in dance are familiar; they move as one and feel a shared passion. My partner, arthritis, is the loving voice of my heart. Naming this voice Arthur allows me to accept the arthritis rather than look at it as an intruder. The arthritis didn’t happen to me; I invited it to join my journey of life because I was living as a cast member and not the director. Arthur and I began to find tools hidden deep within me that slowly turned the stumbling, clumsy dance into something with the potential to be a beautiful waltz, full of grace.

My path to healing began with my body; it seemed like the obvious place to start. It certainly needed some repair and tender loving care. Many years down the road I was graced with the understanding that nurturing the mind and spirit are as important to healing as caring for the physical body. Becoming a student of life’s mystery opened my eyes to the possibilities of healing as a whole person. This ultimately opened a path to freedom.

Pythagoras’ statement Know thyself and you know everything points out a powerful truth. Being open to exploring myself, including what drives me emotionally and mentally, is an empowering guide helping me to pursue a life of fulfillment. Listening to my inner self with an open mind and accepting the journey of self-awareness as strength has led the way to healing and purpose—healing both the RA and my life.

It has taken lots of courage, because examining what lies in my heart and honestly facing its information is a very scary place for me. As a youth, I accepted the teaching that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. So digging into that emotion and giving it permission to guide me feels unnatural and is actually quite terrifying. The enlightened moment in the tub only scratched the surface of my emotional capacity. It was only a glimpse at what my heart was trying to tell me. My emotional development really started when I realized there was action needed—beyond medicine—to take control of my life.

An open mind was a true blessing for me as I began my dance with Arthur. Honestly I don’t remember whether I always had this, or if the pain and fear of Arthur joining my life triggered it. But the gift of saying what if as a positive opportunity changed my life.

The way I looked at it was this: if it didn’t put me in harm’s way, it was worth trying. Anytime I was introduced to a new possibility, whether it was a new way of thinking, eating, acting, or believing, my thought was, What if it makes a difference and positively changes my life?

That simple statement alone