Lessons from Thor: Healing with a Service Dog's Touch

By Kimberly DeFiori

Lessons from Thor is a heartfelt story that cleverly weaves Thor's take on life in a fun and meaningful way. You're sure to fall in love with Thor and learn from both Kim and him as the story progresses. This book will make you cry, laugh, and motivate you to live life to its fullest.  

DeFiori for Lessons fr

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tactical 16 Publishing
• Release date: Apr 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9781087901022

Kimberly DeFiori

DeFiori began her military career after graduating from West Point in 2008 as a military police officer. She deployed shortly after to Afghanistan for a year, serving with military police and infantry companies. She was one of the first women to work alongside Afghan police day and night conducting raids with special operations units. She went on to serve as an aide-de-camp at the Pentagon. DeFiori, currently pursuing her MBA through Cornell University's executive MBA program, thoughtfully recounts her traumatic journey while serving in the U.S. Army, challenging readers to view life differently for greater happiness and fulfillment. Thor, DeFiori's often silly yet very focused Labrador Retriever, inspired her to write this unforgettable story and helpful guide for readers.

Book preview

Lessons from Thor

Praise for Lessons from Thor

This book is EXACTLY what’s needed in the world today. Dogs can teach us so much and Kim perfectly distilled the life lessons these fuzzy little Buddhas exemplify every day.

Debra Alfarone, Network TV Correspondent

An inspirational book of honesty about what matters.

Sara Laszaic, M.S.W. Student

Much thanks to Kim for having the courage to discuss what we have placed on the back porch of our lives!

Erinn Roth, CEO, Ms. Jo's Petite Sweets & Mrs. Jo's Petite Eats

Kim is a warrior and survivor! Her adventures with her trusted partner, Thor, will surely make you smile and see life through a different lens. The dynamic duo have been through so much together and continually help those living with PTSD. This is a must-read for those that are struggling and want to make life changes to lead to post-traumatic growth.

Meg Hawkins, Police officer and spouse of a combat veteran living with PTSD

A thought-provoking and inspirational book of honesty about what matters, with the tools to help you translate it to your life.

Seda Goff, Military Veteran Advocate and Investor, PenFed Foundation

Lessons from Thor

Healing with a Service Dog’s Touch

Kimberly DeFiori

Tactical 16

Lessons from Thor:

Healing with a Service Dog’s Touch

Copyright © 2021 by Kimberly DeFiori

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All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

First Edition

Because of the dynamic nature of the internet, any web address or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Published by Tactical 16, LLC

Monument, CO

Contents

Preface

My Story

I Am Thor

1. Vitamin Play

Thought and Journaling Questions

2. The Arena

Thought and Journaling Questions

3. Judgment-Free Life

Thought and Journaling Questions

4. Don’t Feel That Way

Thought and Journaling Questions

5. Sober Living

Thought and Journaling Questions

6. Never Skip a Meal

Thought and Journaling Questions

7. You Are Feeling Very Sleepy

Thought and Journaling Questions

8. When You Love Your Job, It’s Not Work

Thought and Journaling Questions

9. Sometimes, It Rains Kibble

Thought and Journaling Questions

10. Give Everyone a Chance, Even If It’s Just a Sniff

Thought and Journaling Questions

11. Silence is Golden

Thought and Journaling Questions

12. Sometimes You Need Your Nose Licked

Thought and Journaling Questions

13. Rejection Sucks, but It Doesn’t Define You

Thought and Journaling Questions

14. It’s Okay to Have Nightmares

Thought and Journaling Questions

15. Self-Care: You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

Thought and Journaling Questions

Photos

16. Boundaries for the Lovable

Thought and Journaling Questions

17. Always Follow the Smell of Steak

Thought and Journaling Questions

18. I Wanted a Dog, but I Needed a Service Dog

Thought and Journaling Questions

19. Walk Every Day With the Ones You Love

Thought and Journaling Questions

20. Lick Stress in the Ear

Thought and Journaling Questions

21. Passion

Thought and Journaling Questions

22. We Heal in a Pack

Thought and Journaling Questions

23. The Little / Small Things

Thought and Journaling Questions

24. The Gift of the Present

Thought and Journaling Questions

25. Living With Disabilities

Thought and Journaling Questions

26. Wolves

Thought and Journaling Questions

27. The Gifts of Trauma

Thought and Journaling Questions

28. Conclusion: Checking In

Thought and Journaling Questions

Thor Gets the Last Word

Notes

About the Author

About the Publisher, Tactical 16

To all those struggling, you are not alone.

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To my partner, Sara, you inspire me every day.

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To This Able Veteran’s staff, trainers, supporters, and veterans: thank you for my life with Thor.

Preface

I was always destined for greatness, but the struggle to get there was more than I ever thought possible.

I’m going to be open in this book to help those who are struggling. If you’re looking for a happy story, skip to the chapters ahead. If you’re looking for why, read My Story. I don’t want pity; I just know from personal experience that when others have shared their struggles, it has always helped me process my own challenges. Sometimes I just needed to know I wasn’t alone in what I was going through. Several events in my life were wrong, but I know I can be stronger overcoming those events by finding myself on the other side. None of us are alone in this—we’re in this world together. The therapy groups I’ve been through have always raised me up and helped me find even more strength than I ever knew I had. Find meaning in your struggles and know you’re never alone. There is great help out there and you can make it through it all.

My Story

You’re useless. Those words were repeatedly screamed to me as a child. It was like calling a lake full of water dry. It never made sense to me, but I survived and now I thrive.

Adolescent Learning

I was born in Louisiana in Cajun country. A birth is supposed to be a time to celebrate, smile, and look upon a new life. This never happened—my birth was full of tears, chaos, and worry. I had the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and came out not breathing. I had to fight for my life, alone in the incubator, while the medical staff was there to support me at a moment’s notice. I had to fight to live and find my spot in this world. This early lesson of perseverance would be essential for my life ahead. God knew that I needed fighting in my blood and my DNA. An easy road wasn’t the path for me; I would need every ounce of this precious gift for the days, years, and decades ahead.

I was the youngest of three children (that we knew about). My brother was four years older and my sister two years older than me. We rarely got along—but when we did, it was fun. The rains would pour down from our Cajun skies and flood our nearby ditch. After what seemed like agonizing ages spent inside, the sun finally snuck out from behind the clouds and rang the recess bell of life. While one of us would put the water skis on, the others would tie the ski rope to a bike. We would try to pedal the bike as fast as possible to get the skier to fly through the water. I don’t think we ever made it more than 4 feet, but as kids it felt like three miles. We constantly were doing things to find an escape from the chaos in our world. These moments taught me to dream and find a way to enjoy the little things.

I don’t have too many memories before nine years old. I’m not sure why, but I know my body did what it needed to survive. If you have this same issue, you’re not alone. I don’t miss the memories, but sometimes I wonder what was.

Texas: You Can’t Hurt Those Who Can’t Feel

When I turned ten we moved to Houston, Texas. I remember not wanting to move, but for reasons I couldn’t comprehend as a child, we had to go. We found a house, some good schools, and the best sports teams around. My siblings and I were all athletic and played on every team possible. Soccer, swimming, softball, gymnastics, volleyball, basketball—there wasn’t a sport we wouldn’t try.

When I think of my childhood, I am torn between two scenes. One is playing and having lasting memories, the other is the loud chaos. There were some good times, and I smile when I think about them. Knee boarding, skiing, jet skiing, and so many more. I smile and it feels great, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the hurt. My parents continued to grow apart, which led to a violent and hateful divorce. The abuse I suffered went from harrowing verbal and emotional abuse to physical abuse. The physical was so much easier for me that I wish I could have traded the years of emotional and verbal abuse for the physical abuse. The bruises faded, but my internal emotional scars continued to bleed. I had the horrific realization as a 15-year-old that I would prefer to take a punch to the face over the inner wounds. A thought which I found relief in back then wrenches inside me today as I realize how much more that little girl deserved.

Around this time I started hurting myself. I would take a mechanical pencil and dig it into my hand and arm. I wanted to put myself through so much pain that no one could ever hurt me again. I would have marks up and down my arms and claim they were from the cats. As a young teenager I hurt so much inside that I was a tornado of pain. I never realized it was abnormal—I just figured that these were my cards. I learned how to separate my public face from the inner turbulence. I stopped feeling and started surviving. I found more pain through swim practice. I pushed past every ounce of pain I ever encountered. At the end of a swimming practice set, when no one has anything left, I would push past the pain wall, knowing this would make it