A Girl with a Special Name: A Memoir of Life, Love, Death, Redemption, and Recovery

By Adelina L. Kennedy

For years, author Adelina L. Kennedy endured a long battle with anorexia and its complications. In A Girl with a Special Name, she chronicles her journey through hardship and her miraculous recovery to a healthier, more fulfilled life. Faced with a multitude of challenges including anorexia, blood infections, medical coma, drug-induced hallucinations, emergency surgery, resuscitation, intubation, attempted suicide, seizures, and pancreatitis, she eventually took two trips to rehabilitation facilities. There, she experienced healing alongside heroin addicts, sex slaves, bulimics, bingers, meth addicts, and other struggling souls.

In this memoir, Adelina recounts coming to terms with her own difficulties and shares her experiences with the medical professionals who saved her. Against all odds, she learned to love and accept herself. She celebrates her triumphs through tragedy and recounts how her experiences have enriched what was once a dark, destructive life.

A Girl with a Special Name offers a poignant look at one womans thirst for unobtainable perfection and the life-threating repercussions that followed its pursuit. It celebrates a strong womans renewal and the unexplainable miracles that shaped her life. Through her journey, she gained a better understanding of mental illness and the underbelly of addiction while learning to embrace grace and compassion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jan 27, 2017
• ISBN: 9781532012662

Adelina L. Kennedy

Adelina L. Kennedy has traveled the country underwriting millions of dollars in commercial real estate loans and has managed a commercial loan portfolio of more than $500 million dollars. She also established her own business designing and constructing high-end draperies for model homes. Kennedy lives in the Midwest with her husband, Daniel; two teenage children; and an adopted pup.

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 ALC. LLC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

iUniverse

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.iuniverse.com

1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5320-1265-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-1266-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016920245

iUniverse rev. date: 04/26/2017

page%20v.jpg

Photo courtesy of Amy Weiler at amyweilerphotography.com

Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1 Perfect Polly And The Pine Board

Chapter 2 Success?

Chapter 3 Motherly Thoughts

Chapter 4 Food For Ed

Chapter 5 Hello, Piper

Chapter 6 The Beast—Reality Or Fiction?

Chapter 7 Hello, Mortality. May I Have This Dance?

Chapter 8 Experiences That Shape Us

Chapter 9 Buck Up, Buttercup

Chapter 10 Back To The Lion’s Den

Chapter 11 Girl, Breathe

Chapter 12 Perfect Perfectionism

Chapter 13 The Demon Inside

Chapter 14 Survivor

Chapter 15 Welcome, Sally

Chapter 16 Tales From The Other Side

Chapter 17 Blueberries, Raspberries, And All Sad Stuff

Chapter 18 The Pea And Me

Chapter 19 The Business Of Healing

Chapter 20 Good-Bye, Security Blanket

Chapter 21 Patience

Chapter 22 Done—Healthfully Done

Foreword

page%20ix.JPG

We all have a story that needs to be told. It needs to be told so that the women of tomorrow learn from our mistakes and our triumphs. If we keep quiet about the things that challenge then we will never be able to teach others to learn from our experiences. Adelina is a strong woman who defies the odds and keeps moving forward despite her illnesses and the forces behind her eating disorder. It is a pleasure to have been asked to write a forward for her book, A Girl with a Special Name.

We connected over my recent project, Average Girl: A Guide to Loving Your Body, a self-help guide with photographs of real women. Adelina shares with me a passion for making the world a better place and we both believe that this begins with sharing experiences. Many women have felt alone in their struggles with disordered eating and mental health which is why it is so important that we tell our stories.

Adelina’s story is about control, near death and helplessness but it is also one of bravery, family love and success in finding the right support systems. Her story is about beating the odds and the determination to get healthy for her children. It is real, it is raw and it is shockingly familiar for so many.

My hope is that women read this and realize that although sometimes the pathway to getting healthy is hard and bumpy but it is very much worth it. There is no better medicine than feeling not alone in our struggles.

Emily Lauren Dick

www.loveaverage.com

Chains.

__________________

Somebody break these chains. Wrapped around this heart. I don’t want you leaving I’m begging for mercy, oh to break these chains.

Shaman’s Harvest, In Chains

__________________

page%20xii.jpg

For my wonderful husband, Daniel, and my amazing children, Bishop and Jade. You give me purpose. You give me thirst for life.

page%20xiii.jpg

Artwork by Adelina L. Kennedy, 2012

__________________

One of these days the ground will drop out from beneath your feet.

One of these days your heart will stop and play its final beat.

These Days lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC,

foo fighters

__________________

page%20xiv.jpg

Photo courtesy of Amy Weiler at amyweilerphotography.com

Acknowledgments

page%20xv.JPG

Photo by Adelina L. Kennedy

I dedicate this memoir to my amazing, unwavering husband, Daniel, who made impeccable decisions among turmoil and the possibility of my death. Your unwavering faith encouraged my dream to write a memoir that will help others.

To my children, my smart, beautiful children, Bishop and Jade. Your smiles, giggles, and hugs gave me the courage to fight when I thought I could not fight any longer. You gave me a reason to live when I thought I could live no longer.

Thank you to my wonderful mother and father, who stood by me through my darkest times and supported my journey to well-being. You were parents to my children when we could not be, and although we may have had sharp disagreements during my hardest times, I know you love me. I love you!

And to my sisters. Amazing! You kept our children engaged when I was fighting for my life. I am eternally grateful to call both of my sisters family. Thank you.

To my lovely in-laws. Words cannot describe your graciousness. Not only did you bring a wonderful man into this world, but you also love me like a daughter. Thank you!

Kimberly, my trauma sister and best friend! You have given me immense strength, physically and spiritually. I will never forget that fateful day I met you at our neighborhood playground. From the moment we locked eyes, I knew we could overcome all odds. Thank you for all the laughs as we have risen above the unimaginable. Thank you for all the tears we have shared. Most importantly, thank you for all the hugs you gave when I was not huggable. Thank you, sister!

My medical team. Thank you to all the professionals who saved me and guided me through the unthinkable. I am grateful for every competent professional who made it possible for me to live and write this memoir in order to help others. My husband would not have a wife, and my children would not have a mother, without the dedication of professionals who did not give up on my life and well-being.

Also special thanks to Amy Weiler at amyweilerphotography.com for your beautiful photos incorporated into my memoir! You did a great job, and we will treasure them for years!

image8.jpg

Photo courtesy of Amy Weiler at amyweilerphotography.com

Introduction

I always thought I could beat odds. ED, my eating disorder, would be my best friend for the majority of my life, although my life would tragically collapse when I was thirty-seven. I thought I did everything right. I thought I’d always be in control of my destiny.

Work hard, and thou shall receive a reward. The American dream is mine for the taking! That was my thought process from a young age. My thirst for control over every aspect of my life and my quest for perfection would rule me for decades. My desire for control would nearly kill me.

Although I did not know it at the time, that was the classic thinking of an undiagnosed anorexic, bipolar woman. I believed that I was invincible and that there was no need to share my troubles. Why? Shame, pride, and stigma, my triad of self-destruction.

After decades of living with ED, the time to pay the piper arose. Over the course of eight hours, everything in my life changed on a dime. My demons came roaring, and the burdens upon my shoulders would prove a threat.

My life as an accomplished multimillion-dollar financier, a devoted wife, and a thin, tall, dedicated mother would evaporate within hours. Why? My body, mind, and spirit had had enough. I could not physically and mentally bear more. The result was a health condition that would threaten my life in ways very few survive.

A Girl with a Special Name chronicles my personal journey as a woman who miraculously lived despite all odds.

Sometimes the same things that threaten to kill us save us. This memoir is a life story I hope will be inspirational to others struggling within themselves and for family members looking for comfort.

Chapter 1

Perfect Polly and the Pine Board

__________________

Perfection. Some of us crave it like water; some of us are addicts to its claws.

Some of us will die because of it, and some of us will rise above all cause.

—Adelina L Kennedy, 2016

__________________

image9.jpg

Artwork by Jade Kennedy

Excellence and perfection were what I strove for from my earliest memories. I remember when I was three years old and my mother took me into town to buy new tennis shoes. They were great! They were comfy and navy blue with white stripes on the sides. They also had great treads.

Upon returning home, my mother carefully tied my shoestrings, and out the front door I went. There before me stood two huge trees. The air was full of spring freshness.

How glorious! Run, girl, run! Run tighter around the tree; go faster! Oh, how I love these shoes! I felt so powerful! And run I did, in a figure eight pattern around the trees. I carefully counted my loops. I ran until I had no more energy. I felt in control and on top of the world.

Running a figure eight pattern became a daily regimen; I aspired to improve my performance. What if I did not improve my stamina? I would be disappointed, and personal failure would set in. As sure as the sun would rise the next day, on went my running shoes, and I would give it another shot. Was my thinking typical of a three-year-old? No, it was not.

Nonetheless, I improved my agility. The elation of physical success was better than sugar. This thought process foreshadowed my life with ED.

Later, I sat in elementary school. Before me, many tests appeared, and I was determined to answer perfectly every question presented. Time after time I was anxiety ridden, awaiting my grades. An A? That was not good enough. I wanted an A+. If unattained, I regarded my intellect and class work as inferior.

I, Perfect Polly, would have no failures. Perfect Polly’s quest for perfection would intensify with age, and her power would expand