Everything Your Eyes See Your Mouth Say You Want It: Everyone Has a Story

By Dr. Marvin A. Pryor

Everyone has a story; unfortunately, many of these stories go untold. In most families, there are secrets, rituals, or events that you are simply forbidden to talk about or acknowledge that the event ever happened. These secrets are most often damaging to the family name or simply shameful to the person who holds the key to unleashing the story. Therefore, individuals opt to withhold the story, live a life of turmoil, and take it to the graveall of this in the name of love and hate toward the individual and the family. The sad commentary regarding this decision is that it creates a cycle of practice for the wrongdoer. This is the essence of my story; it is my hope that my story will serve as a gateway to others to release the chains of past events that have held them captive and negated them from living a full and productive life without turmoil. Realize that the tragedy from your humble beginnings does not have to be a predictor of your final outcome. This is not a recommendation to cast shame upon anyone; it is simply a charge to those of you who have found yourself in this situation to realize that you cannot live a life trying to fill a hole that you did not dig. Your hole will be filled before you are able to fill theirs.

?Proclamationannounce it
?Emancipationrelease it
?Anticipationbegin to live your life
?Resolvebe free

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9781491808344

Dr. Marvin A. Pryor

Dr. Marvin A. Pryor is an educator, musician, and advocate for youth development. During his twenty-seven-plus years as an educator, he has served as an elementary music teacher, high school band director, fine arts coordinator, and high school principal. Dr. Pryor has realized great success in each appointment. As a band director, his program earned a spot on the national stage with features on the Early Show and in the Tournament of Roses Parade. He continued his level of excellence as a high school principal. Under his leadership, his high school received national recognition by Newsweek magazine in “America’s Best High Schools, 2013.” In addition, he defied the odds regarding our nation’s graduation rate by realizing a three-year cohort graduation rate of 93.7 percent in an inner-city school district, 2012. In addition to Dr. Pryor’s passion for education, he is an active participant in the arts community as a musician. He has performed professionally with noted artists such as the R&B group Cameo, Ohio Players, Ray Charles, and Christopher Williams. Today Dr. Pryor is a regular performer with The PR Experience, a contemporary jazz group birthed by himself and best friend Nelson Render. Dr. Pryor earned his bachelor’s degree in music education from Berklee College of Music in Boston, his master’s degree in music education from Jacksonville State University in Jacksonville, Alabama, his leadership certification from Troy State University in Phenix City, Alabama, and his EdS and EdD in educational leadership from Sarasota University in Sarasota, Florida. Currently, Dr. Pryor resides in Covington, Georgia, thirty-three miles east of Atlanta, with his wife, Nina, and daughter, Kierra. For more information, please contact: Dr. Marvin A. Pryor [e-mail]

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CONTENTS

My Paradox

Healing Through Transparency

Just Say You’re Sorry

Looking For My Ghosteses

The Rubber Band

Saturday Morning Ritual

The Mask Of Deception

The Uncle Influence

The Great Escape

The Back And Forth

As Far Back As I Can Remember

Sixth-Grade Education; Phd Wisdom

The Bond (The Thirteenth Child)

Everything Your Eyes See, Your Mouth Say You Want It

I Did It For You

How To Cook

Spiritual Foundation

Responsibility And Accountability

Treat Everyone With Dignity And Respect

Treat Yourself From Time To Time

The Image Of A Father

The Death Of My Father And Grandmother

Live To Forgive, But Never Forget

If You Live Long Enough

Time Heals All Wounds

Like An Addiction; Almost There But So Far Away

Sad But True; Hard And Unfair

The Dream Killer

The Turning Point

The Power Of Temporary

The Art Of Perseverance

We Used To Be As One

My Siblings

Denise

Tiffany

Tracy

Charles Jr.

Where Are We Now?

Lifelong Effects

Life Now

The Hole

Transference

Acknowledgments

About The Author

MY PARADOX

This book is dedicated to my mother, who I have never met but longed for my entire life.

HEALING THROUGH TRANSPARENCY

This book is an expression of my life trials, triumphs, and internal struggles from my nearly fatal past. Even though I now live the life of what society depicts as success, I still battle the inner demons of resentment toward my biological mother. This sharing is an attempt to address my inner struggles against my mother for the anguish she imposed upon my brother and me during our early childhood. The contents herein are also an expression of my heartfelt love for my grandmother, the woman that I credit for saving my life. She poured so much love, affection, and nurturing into my brother and me during our time of need. I wish that I was extended more time to show her my appreciation and for her to see the outcome of her work, and, finally, a word for the educational system that has allowed select teachers to continue practices from the past, which paralyze young African American boys, who even today are often misunderstood, neglected, and unprotected. I only pray that we will rid our noble profession, one of great importance to mankind and to global community, of the practices that have proven to be a detriment to an entire gender race. Most importantly, this book is a part of the healing process of the relationship between my mother and me in my adulthood. It is a struggle to renew, forgive, and somehow forget the unwelcomed memories from an almost fatal past.

The spirit of this book is in the attempt to encourage young boys and girls, who on a daily basis disguise the pain that they carry day in and day out. This mask of deception is what I relate to through the eyes of many of my students, for whom I have been entrusted to lead, protect, and ensure a quality educational experience.

I am often asked how it is that I chose a career path in education. As I ponder the question, I truly believe that it is not that I chose to do this work; it is my belief that I was chosen to do this work. It is like a calling from God that I was placed in a career path that has allowed me to be an influence in the lives of so many young people. The sad commentary is that it took me almost an entire career to make the connection that my work was actually my calling. I thought that the work that I was commissioned to do was simply a job. It was not until years later that I began to receive e-mails, letters, phone calls, etcetera from former students that I realized that I helped so many people through their daily struggles, giving them hope for the future and helping them to realize that they were capable of achieving monumental goals.

It has always been my practice to speak greatness to young people. Subconsciously, I was extending to them perhaps what I lacked as a young child, or simply serving as a constant reminder that there was hope and that they were individually in control of their respective outcomes. I take great pride in my practice of pushing and challenging my students to exceed their expectations and those of others. I must admit, this was as gratifying for me as it was for them during the journey.

Healing through transparency is a powerful revelation. Throughout my life, I have practiced transparency. Through this practice, I developed honesty, good character, and a strong ethic of caring. In return, I have been blessed to help others and find healing through others. There’s nothing like looking in the mirror. My mirror was the eyes of my students that I looked into on a daily basis. I saw me in my early childhood and the longing that I carried day in and day out for a fair chance at life. This book is not only an attempt to release and foster self-healing ; it is a book of celebration for the opportunity that has been extended to me to use my past to help others see the light to a better future.

Everything your Eyes See, your Mouth Say You Want It.

Everything your Eyes See, your Mouth Say You Want It.

Everything your Eyes See, your Mouth Say You Want It.

Everything your Eyes See, your Mouth Say You Want It.

Everything your Eyes See, your Mouth Say You Want It.

Everything your Eyes See, your Mouth Say You Want It.

Everything your Eyes See, your Mouth Say You Want It.

Life’s Own Battle

Didn’t want a battle,

Yet you declared war,

Each knock you gave me made me stronger than before,

I will not give up,

I will not give in,

You won’t make me fall,

I won’t let you win.

© Emma Jackson

JUST SAY YOU’RE SORRY

In many ways, I survived the infliction of great mental and physical pain. My early years of childhood were reminiscent of a classic modern-day child abuse case that never received intervention by the appropriate authorities.

My mother, single parent of three at the time, was a very proud woman who seldom accepted help from anyone. She really struggled to provide a secure environment for her family, as the pressures of life in the big city took their toll. Growing up, we were perhaps the best-behaved kids in the neighborhood, and for sure in our family. This was a direct result of the mental and physical hazing that we, speaking of my brother and I, endured from day to day. We were subjected to abuse at the stage of creativity. We experienced whippings with belt buckles, extension cords, broomsticks, or anything my mom could get her hands on. We experienced punishments that included starvation to solitary confinement. I recall times when we were made to take a bath, get out of the tub without drying off, and face the wrath of the leather belt. My brother and I would retreat to our room and check each other’s back, legs, and face for the scars that were left behind. We would literally count the number of scars on our respective bodies and resolve who received the brunt of the discipline session. There were countless times when we went to bed hungry, and not because we did not have food; it was simply because this was a part of our unsolicited punishment. We would sneak in the middle of the night to the kitchen to dig our fingers into the peanut butter jar to address our hunger pains. We were not wise enough to smooth the top layer of the jar. As a result, mom would discover this and impose more physical correction. This was an ever-revolving cycle that became the norm for our childhood.

The worst memory of abuse that I can recall was when my mother placed her .22-caliber pistol on the table and directed us to take our clothes off and lay across a chair. She assured us that if we attempted to run she would shoot us. That was a beating of a lifetime, and perhaps the worst memory of the Green Monster, a green broomstick that was reconfigured into a billy club, that I can remember. I wish that I could say that these memories were the exceptions, but they were more the norm.

At times we contemplated calling the authorities; however, we were so afraid of the repercussions that we could never move beyond the thought. We really thought that our mom was above the law. She was the type of woman that delivered on her promise and had a temper so vicious that family members never wanted to cross her. You could see the pain and sorrow in their eyes regarding their heartfelt pity for us; however, there was very little that they could do to fully protect us.

No one at school had a clue of what we were enduring in our home life on a daily basis. They could not see beyond the mask of deception that we wore every day. We always showed up with a smile on our faces. We performed well academically; we were well mannered, and we were well dressed. We exhibited all