Excuse You: Hiccups, Setbacks, and Other Interruptions

By Terri Whitmire

We all experience obstacles in our lives. This much is true, and dealing with them alone can leave you feeling hopeless and in a vulnerable place where you question God's plan. This was true for me during my season of pain and despair. It was in the middle of this experience when the Lord revealed to me 27 faith-based lessons that helped me push through disappointment, including how to:

• assess the pain,
• acknowledge your strength, and
• receive God's word in your life  

Making this transition from victim to victor wasn't easy. Then God directed me to interview a pastor, a filmmaker, a celebrity stylist, and a military wife. These four people experienced tragedy and disappointment, just like you and me. Their stories are inspiring, encouraging, fascinating, and heart-pounding. I pray their faith and resilience bless you as they have blessed me.

 

This book concludes with an insightful look into how angels, prayer, and our heavenly prayer language play a significant role in pushing through any roadblock. These biblical practices have been used for centuries and they are available to you. Hiccups, setbacks, and interruptions are a part of life. Correctly navigating them will either build your faith or tear it down. My prayer is that this book helps you view your obstacles differently and use them to establish an unshakeable faith.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Terri Whitmire
• Release date: Dec 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393036272

Terri Whitmire

Terri Whitmire is an inspirational author who resides in Marietta, Georgia. She is originally from Waterbury, Connecticut. Terri earned her Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science at the historic North Carolina A&T State University. She went on to work as an analyst in a classified government position that required an extended background clearance much like her main character. In October of 2011 her first novel, Breathe for Me, was released. She and her husband of eighteen years have three beautiful children. Terri is the founder of The Writer’s Tablet foundation which teaches creative writing and character building classes to school-aged children

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Life—it’s been called many things: a mystery, a gift, a game, a course. Despite its countless names, one thing holds true. While on this Earth, we are only given one chance to live it… so why not allow life to share all it has to offer? Our physical, mental, and spiritual growth aren’t always on a steady incline. We rise, we fall, we soar, and we crash. At times our strides are great, other times they are measured in inches. There are rainbows and blue skies. Likewise, there are thorns that prick and flames that burn. It is the sum of all these experiences that make us who we are. The good and the bad lessons—they shape us but should never define us.

As a child your dreams, ideas, and hopes were limitless. Everything seemed attainable, and for a while you were somebody’s perfect baby. For me, I was going to be the next great gymnast. The front lawn was my stage. When cars and buses drove past, they were my captive audience. I would cartwheel and tumble for each onlooker. Oftentimes the kids on the school buses cheered and clapped and other times scowling faces were all I saw. In those negative moments, there came the harsh reality that not everyone would cheer for my success. There are people who will intentionally or unintentionally bring pain to others.

A sweet little nine-year-old girl named Ava once told me the reason we experience pain is so that we can become more tender. Ava was a tiny girl—much smaller than the rest of the kids in her class. I can see how she may have been teased often with her red curly locks, braces, and glasses. She told me, When you get made fun of, you just don’t want other people to feel that way.

We all experience hurt and disappointment in our lives. I call them setbacks, hiccups, and interruptions. These experiences can pull us away from our starry-eyed childhood dreams. In some cases, it is due in part to the actions of others. Some of us manage, others internalize, and still others use it to spread their own hurt. No doubt you’ve run into each of these types of people.

So, yes, how we handle our interruptions is very important. Get over it, they say. If it were that simple, then honestly you would have done it a long time ago. It’s complicated. Wounds run deep and excusing the person—and in some cases excusing you—requires that we take a glimpse at our interruptions from a different viewpoint. It is my intention to humbly offer that perspective.

Many of us allow our setbacks to blow us around to and fro like a leaf in the wind. We descend and ascend with no clear direction. Every attempt to improve the situation sends us further into whirlwind conditions.

***

I wrote this book to share with you course-correcting lessons that will help you transition from leaf status to plow status. Plowing through the interruption and then planting new seeds of hope. I learned the practicality of these steps as I experienced my own setback. My personal story is the first of five presented in this book. In my case, it wasn’t someone else that interrupted my life, it was my own body. It had betrayed me, or so I thought.

Excuse you: I don’t need a doctor

It was spring of 2012 that I first noticed the lump near my lower pelvis. Having no idea what it was, I did what most people did… I ignored it. But as it grew larger, I realized it required a visit to the doctor. The doctor immediately identified the problem and suggested I see a proctologist.

I sat there stunned as the proctologist explained to me his diagnosis and what the corrective procedure involved. He told me it was the type of ailment that wouldn’t heal on its own. I drove home, still in a state of shock, and immediately searched the Internet to learn more.

Although it was foreign to me, it was apparently a very common ailment. My heart broke for all the people who posted detailed descriptions of their horrific experience. Even more depressing was the fact that the surgical method designed to correct the problem was even more intrusive than the problem itself. It terrified me. But the doctor assured me that my repair was only superficial and I would be healed in 12 weeks or so. With that prognosis, I went ahead and scheduled the surgery.

Days later, I contacted a close friend from church and her instructions were much different. She said I needed to pray. She also encouraged me to meditate, visualize, and recite scripturally-based healing affirmations. I did exactly what she said and within weeks the lump was gone. I celebrated. My God had healed me of this ailment that the doctor definitively stated would never heal on its own.

No! This can’t be happening!

Less than a year later, the bump returned. Why? I had my scientific explanation, but explaining it spiritually was a mystery. My rush to the ER made it clear that I needed to fix this, and right away. So this time the surgery went as planned. But, it was during my quiet time that I began to question my decision. Layers and layers of fear and worry fell upon me. Was I somehow communicating to God that His plan wasn’t working or moving fast enough?

Excuse you: I’m not sick

As I awoke from the anesthesia, I breathed a sigh of relief. The worst was over and now it was time to begin the recovery process. I rested while my husband carried on with all the household responsibilities. I was going to be the exception and recover ahead of schedule.

Up until this time, the only people that knew of my surgery were my family and close friends. I decided to conceal this embarrassing experience and pray it would never happen again. Even when asked, I convincingly downplayed the severity and assured everyone that I was fine. I told myself that there were many others fighting far more serious ailments. In fact, my own sister had suffered from a debilitating disease called Lupus.

The doctors told us years earlier that she had one of the most aggressive forms of Lupus they had ever seen. Even with that devastating news, I never saw my little sister complain or look defeated. The Lupus wreaked havoc on all her major organs. High dosage medications caused hair loss, and brittle bones. It was hard to comprehend why she seemed so oblivious to her situation.

In my natural mind, I wanted her to stay home, rest, and change her diet to raw foods. I wanted for her to take this thing seriously. Instead, each time she left the hospital she returned to her normal life as best she could. She treated Lupus as if she knew this was only a minor inconvenience. I would soon learn how her modeling this behavior would help me move past my hiccup.

My sister continued to work even while being placed on numerous chemotherapy-type drugs. Soon after, her kidneys began to fail. She was placed on dialysis once a week, twice a week, and then three times a week. The damage was so severe that she now required a kidney transplant. So the search began. None of our nuclear or extended family members was a match and so she was placed on the kidney transplant waiting list. The doctor assured her that because of her very common blood type it would only take around six months. They informed her that once she received this new kidney, it would send her Lupus into remission.

Her life was interrupted well past the predicted six month waiting period. It took seven long years before she received that halleluiah phone call. Two weeks before Christmas she received her new kidney. Now, ten years later she is still healthy and enjoying her life. She uses her experience and her pharmaceutical background to speak to other transplant or Lupus patients. She also lends her time to various organizations, sharing her testimony and her faith.

Through it all, her disposition and faith never wavered. So I kept telling myself, if she could go through that, then surely I could handle this little setback. After all, it would only take, as the doctor said, twelve weeks or so.

Excuse you! What calendar are you looking at?

As the weeks and months rolled by, I realized this process was not going to be a simple one. I had had enough of this wound controlling my life, including everything from what I ate to what I wore to where and how I sat down.

I conjured up enough nerve to finally have a look at the incision. Up until this point, I had refused to. This was my first mistake. All those images from the Internet began to flood my brain. This increased my anxiety exponentially.

Several months went by and I continued my doctor’s visits. He couldn’t explain why the healing process was taking so long. All he would tell me was, Well, these things take time. Visit after visit he said those same words. I was so frustrated with him sounding like a broken record that I just cancelled all my appointments. That’s when my pity party began. In my head I kept asking, why me?

Early one morning as I stood, staring in the bathroom mirror, the Lord spoke to me and said, Healing a physical wound is much like healing an emotional wound. He began pouring into me all the similarities and treatments. After several pages of notes, I realized this information was meant to be shared. None of us is immune to emotional or physical pain. The reasons we go through it vary; however, the steps needed to break free from it are universally the same.

The book is divided into three parts. The first part shares twenty-seven ways to navigate through hiccups, setbacks, and interruptions. Some involve specific steps to take, while others involve a shift in thinking. The second part includes interviews of four real people who have gone through what could—and perhaps should—have been life-shattering experiences. Somehow, these resilient people managed to regain control of their lives using their faith.

Finally, the third part includes my personal spiritual references and practices to move you toward your new life. All three parts together deal with different sides of restoring your well-being. It is my hope that the twenty-seven steps will inform you, the four stories will inspire you, and the spiritual references will support you so you can finally place your life back on course.

PART 1: LIFE LESSONS

The first step in reclaiming your life is to decide to do it. It’s not easy. Sometimes we cleave to our pain so intensely that we give it permission to take up residence. I’m sure you’ve met people that ‘wear their pain’. It’s as bright as a neon sign that screams, I am hurt. Bitterness has a sneaky way of creeping in; causing the hurt to push away the very people and things it needs to heal. Please consider each of these steps carefully and ask yourself, In what area of my life can these lessons be applied?

Lesson 1: Increase Mobility

Have you ever wondered why doctors in certain cases instruct patients so soon after surgery to become mobile? Honestly, the last thing a patient wants to do is move. It’s easier to just lie there, press the button and allow the nurses (children, parents, husband or friends) to wait on you. The reason most medical professionals require movement is to increase blood circulation. Properly flowing, circulating blood reduces the formation of clots and speeds up the healing process. So although getting up and moving so soon after surgery hurts in the beginning, eventually it will be of benefit to the patient.

The same holds true when it’s time to face your hiccup. Many times it’s easier to sit on our proverbial bed of roses and pretend everything is perfect. No matter how much we dress it up, the bed is filled with thorns. We fool ourselves into believing that because we don’t focus on our pain, it can’t hurt us. But inevitably, the pain will make its way back to the surface. It may show up dressed in anger toward a family member, frustration at the job, or even as a physical ailment in your body. The first step is always self-examination. It’s not about placing blame. It’s about assessing how the hurt has affected your life.

The problem when you sit too long is it becomes difficult to uncover the root cause of the hurt. If you are experiencing hurt from an event that happened years ago, this may require some onion peeling. What is onion peeling? It is when you peel back each layer of your hurt, starting with the outermost and most noticeable hurt. Record each new discovery on paper. But don’t stop there; keep digging until you can place your finger on the exact time that you—or someone else—caused you to veer off course. Many times the root cause occurred prior to the most current offense. Much like boiled water, the heat continues to intensify until the boiling point is reached and we explode. The actual offense occurred when you were first placed over the fire but you may not have actually reached the boiling point until months sometimes years later. Keep asking, And what happened before that? until you can emphatically, with complete assurance, name the origin of the hurt. Digging up the root cause of your hurt can be extremely painful and may require the assistance of a professional to help clearly define and work through your emotions. Take it slowly and give yourself as much time as is needed.

Lesson 2: Relieve the Pressure

When I had surgery on my foot, it was the most painful thing I’d ever experienced. I was instructed to not put pressure on the area. Why? Because we all know the main objective is to prevent swelling and reduce inflammation.

Now that you have assessed your hurt and identified the root cause, resist the urge to fix it right away. It took this long to address the pain, and going about it haphazardly can in some instances make matters worse. This is the time to give yourself some TLC, to build yourself up and take the pressure off. Forgive yourself for any part you played in the event.