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    Thanks for the [Spam]: The Grandparent & Senior Addition
    Thanks for the [Spam]: The Grandparent & Senior Addition
    Thanks for the [Spam]: The Grandparent & Senior Addition
    Ebook121 pages47 minutes

    Thanks for the [Spam]: The Grandparent & Senior Addition

    By Mary Jane Winter

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Welcome to the Mature Version of Thanks for the [SPAM] - a collection of my favourite forwards (those little gems of wisdom - daily giggles and fun facts that lighten our daily grind from people we dont know and our friend who sent it to their entire friends list - who sent it to their entire friends list - who sent it to their entire friends list...) Now available in PRINT to read in the bathroom!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse
    Release dateJul 26, 2012
    ISBN9781477248850
    Thanks for the [Spam]: The Grandparent & Senior Addition

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      Book preview

      Thanks for the [Spam] - Mary Jane Winter

      © 2012 by Mary Jane Winter. All rights reserved.

      No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

      Published by AuthorHouse 07/21/2012

      ISBN: 978-1-4772-4883-6 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4772-4885-0 (e)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2012913185

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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      Thanks for the [SPAM]

      Available in 6 Different Additions!

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      Contents

      Introduction

      Thank You

      When I Was A Kid

      Comments Made in the year 1955

      No Sunday Paper

      60’s Hits to Accommodate Aging Baby Boomers

      MY LIFE BROKEN DOWN INTO SEGMENTS

      Academy Awards-Best Picture

      More Interesting Facts

      A Nun Walks Into a Bathroom....

      The History of APRONS...

      Subject: Interesting History

      Top 10 Old Folks’ Party Games:

      Newly Retired Man Gets Up Late

      HEY, WASN’T THIS US ?

      SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE...

      A Visit to Grandma

      When a Woman Líes

      Two Old Coots Talk

      The Cat

      Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

      The Book-A Low-Tech Breakthrough

      THE GRANDPARENT’S ANSWERING MACHINE

      Elderly Man Calls Wife Pet Names

      When Grampa is left alone...

      Old Fart’s Quiz

      ANSWERS:

      More Flashbacks

      ANSWERS:

      An 8th Grade Education In 1895

      8th Grade Final Exam:

      A Group of Elderly Tour Holland

      2 NEW OPTIONS for RETIREMENT

      Old Couple Take Memory Course

      Best Friends

      EXERCISE FOR SENIORS

      Older Couple Gets Romantic

      The Pastor’s Ass

      The Hikers

      Barbies for the Mature Woman

      His & Hers Road Trips HERS

      How Pumpkin Pies are Really Made

      Modern Day Children’s Books

      Oil Changing Instructions

      Women

      Men

      Male or Female?

      His and Her ATM Usage

      HIS

      HERS

      And finally, for Women Only:

      Shakespeare Insult Generator

      Introduction

      Welcome to the Mature Version of Thanks for the [SPAM]-a collection of my favourite forwards (those little gems of wisdom-daily giggles and fun facts that lighten our daily grind from people we don’t know and our friend who sent it to their entire friends list-who sent it to their entire friends list-who sent it to their entire friends list...) Now available in PRINT to read in the bathroom!

      missing image file

      Didn’t you just love that joke you read in your e-mail from your friend, you know its coming when the subject line says FW:FW You gotta read this! etc. You take the 2 minutes to read it, hope no one at work is looking, and giggle, or cry, or be inspired for a moment between the 300 mundane e-mails and real spam you have to delete every day, it lightens the load. But out of panic you delete it right after you read it so no one knows you took a moment to yourself. Damn! you say that evening to your significant other (who you just pumped up with anticipation of a real zinger, great idea, story or fun fact), I can’t remember how it goes now But you crinkle your brow and let it go, although you know that you want to pass on that moment to your friends or family. To make them laugh or think about something other than the war on trans fats, diabetes, internet addiction, drugs, gas prices, terrorism, romance, education... To take a second and remember ‘The good ol’ days" when you used to sit on the front porch and make up rhymes to the match the rhythm pounded out by mom’s old wringer washer.

      Thank You

      As we progress through to the end of 2012,1 want to thank everyone for the educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

      I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

      I can’t sit down on a

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