Life According to Me: My Life Experiences

By Eileen Gonzalez

Life According to Me is a project of love in which I have been able to reflect on my life, both the mistakes and the triumphs. I have learned many lessons that I truly cherish and follow day by day, and the most important ones are to identify what I want or need, believe in my capabilities to attain it, and to go make it happen. Life is too short to sit on the sidelines, wishing something better would come along. You need to get up and go make your luck. I want to share with you my life lessons and tell you that without a doubt, there is always hope. There are times you cant see clearly because you are stuck in a painful moment, one that clouds your judgment and keeps you trapped in sadness and uncertainty. I want you to know that there is always hope and opportunity to overcome challenges in your life. As long as you have life, you have opportunity.

I have seen this in my life, and I know its true in yours.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 31, 2012
• ISBN: 9781468545210

Eileen Gonzalez

I have been married for twenty-one years to my high school sweetheart. I have a twenty-year-old son and a fifteen-year-old daughter. I spent most of my married life struggling with financial burden, disappointment in our marriage, and lack of parenting skills. Life was difficult, and I was running low on faith. Several years ago, I began a journey of self-discovery that brought me face-to-face with who I am and how I deal with frustration. Changing my attitudes in life was not as easy as I expected, yet once I did, my outlook was clear and promising. I was now ready to tackle my goals with a determination that I had never known before. My new attitude made me aware of my environment, feelings, and reactions. I also became aware of how others react toward their situations. I became very protective of my surroundings, not allowing negativity take hold of my day-to-day life. This journey of self-discovery has been the best time of my life. I am not the same person I was; I am well on my way to becoming the person I envision myself to be. For more information on my projects, you can visit www.lifeaccordingtome.net.

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© 2012 by Eileen Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 01/17/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4685-4523-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-4522-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-4521-0 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012901074

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

FINANCE ACCORDING TO ME

PARENTHOOD

ACCORDING TO ME

TOUGH CHOICES ACCORDING TO ME

LOVE ACCORDING TO ME

WORK/CAREER ACCORDING TO ME

DETERMINATION ACCORDING TO ME

HEALTH ACCORDING TO ME

HELPING OTHERS ACCORDING TO ME

POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE FEELINGS ACCORDING TO ME

FAITH ACCORDING TO ME

DECEPTION ACCORDING TO ME

LESSONS LEARNED

A message to both of my kids: I promise that I will always be here whenever you might need me. It can be as simple as just listening to you when you need to vent or being the shoulder for you to cry on. I will nag you by sharing the lessons I have learned; however, I will not be here to judge you. I will teach you to be thankful for your life lessons, as they make you stronger and provide tools for you to move forward. I ask you to dare to dream and not be afraid to fall, as it’s not how you fall but how you get up. In my lifetime, my biggest joy will forever be being your mom.

A message to my readers: My biggest fear in life is letting opportunity pass me by.

We need to take chances in life; this is how we move forward. Life is too

short to spend thinking about the what if. When opportunity

knocks, you need to be prepared to embrace it.

PREFACE



I had been interested in writing a book for several years; however, I felt I had nothing positive to say. In my mind, I felt like a victim of circumstance and had nothing good to share with the world. I was also plagued with insecurity in myself as a person. I had doubts about what to write about and whether anyone would be interested in reading what I had to say.

A couple of years ago, I began a journey of self-discovery. With this journey, I began to dig deep into my soul and understand who I really was and what I truly wanted. As I worked on this, I also began to observe others, curious as to how they behaved, reacted, and carried themselves. I found that, like me, many people were full of self-doubt and plagued with issues. I also observed that many of us have the tendency to relive our bad moments of the day. Sitting at an airport is my favorite place to observe and listen to people. No worries—I don’t eavesdrop. It’s just that some people speak so loudly and openly about their problems, issues, or events that we all get to hear the conversation (whether we want to or not).

Some people complain about their days with lots of emotion, without realizing that they are continuing to add energy to the event, making it almost impossible for them to think straight and focus on what really matters. I know this feeling well, as I too have allowed others or events to take control of my day and emotions, thereby losing myself in the moment. Part of self-discovery for me was to gain control of my behaviors and reactions toward the things that make me tick. When you allow yourself to give in to events or circumstances, you are giving others control over your emotions, and I am here to tell you that no one has control over you.

This journey of self-discovery began a couple of years ago and is still an ongoing process for me. I expect to continue to discover myself as I continue to change while gaining new experiences in life. Self-discovery helps me be clear about myself and my surroundings, which allows me to improve myself.

Many years ago, I recall listening to my grandfather referring to a younger old man as ignorant, which means lacking knowledge or information on a particular subject or fact). Back then, I wasn’t sure why an adult would call another ignorant, which I felt was implying that he didn’t know anything. Well, I was a teenager back then… Today I understand that we continue learning until we die. Life experience accounts for much of what we think and do, regardless if right or wrong. We formulate our opinions about every aspect of life based on our experiences and associations.

Since our opinions depend on our experiences, this means that I can’t talk as an expert on topics I don’t know in depth, such as the following:

• Terminal illness (cancer, AIDS, and so forth)

• Poverty

• Homelessness

• Divorce

I can have opinions on any of the above yet not be well versed in the subject matter, meaning I am ignorant to life as a cancer survivor or a person living in poverty. Does this explanation take the ouch away from the word ignorant? It does for me, as I know there are many things I have not experienced—and some I don’t ever want to experience. I hope that wherever you are right now in your life, you are open to having new experiences and learning to have empathy for those who struggle with experiences you do not share.

My journey has only begun, as there is a lot that I need to learn, see, and do. I share with you my life lessons as honestly as I can and in my own words. My goal is to reach you and help you find hope. I want to help you know that there is a better way; you just have to be open in order to find it. I often felt alone and hopeless, feeling I had no one to talk to. I felt embarrassed of my mistakes and did not want to be a burden to others. The truth is that we are not alone. We just feel alone. That feeling of loneliness and desperation makes it hard for one to see past the darkness and sadness experienced when things don’t go right. As bad as life can seem at one point or another, you need to hang on to hope and to your determination. There is always a way, but you need to get clear in your mind to be able to find your way.

Writing this book was part of my journey. It helped me ask myself tough questions and analyze myself carefully. As I wrote this book, I was experiencing emotions of happiness, sadness, and fear; however, I was determined to get through those emotions and stay focused on the goal. I hope this book helps you find your way and understand that you are capable of accomplishing anything you want in life. If sharing my story helps one person find hope in life, then this book will have accomplished my goal.

Thank you and God bless,

Eileen Gonzalez