Hidden Talents

By L E Dahlke

This book started as personal memoirs, so that L. E. Dahlke could someday sift through the rubble of his shattered life and hopefully make sense of it all. In a single afternoon his life came crashing down. Less than six months later, he found himself sitting in a friends house where he was staying, looking down the barrel of a pistol. He didnt even have the guts to pull the trigger. He found himself alone and searching, extremely angry and bitter. The people and circumstances that brought him extreme pain have forced him to explore Christianity. With this, he has learned how to become what his wife and family need and desire, and what every church hopes for in a man. Perfection? Not a chance. Just a man who loves God and loves people. How are you doing? Think about it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 21, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449728465

L E Dahlke

L. E. Dahlke lives in Astoria, Oregon, with his wife. They have four children and four grandchildren. Devastation in every area of their lives forced them to reevaluate Christianity. Upon rebuilding their lives, they found religion to be more than church attendance. They learned God is much more than they ever imagined.

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Copyright © 2011 Loren Dahlke

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ISBN: 978-1-4497-2847-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-2846-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011917915

Printed in the United States of America

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/18/2011

Contents

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE:

CHAPTER TWO:

CHAPTER THREE:

CHAPTER FOUR:

CHAPTER FIVE:

CHAPTER SIX:

CHAPTER SEVEN:

INTRODUCTION

I was once a creative, free spirited man. I once had the ability to lead my family, right or wrong. I had the abilities of thought and decision making. I went to work at a job of my desire and planning. I lived where I thought my family would do the best. I was a leader of my home. My wife listened. My children would take heed to my advice. I had influence with friends and family.

Albeit, I was far from perfect and made many mistakes in my marriage, in discipline, in my work, etc. I had been a middle of the road procrastinator who frequently mismatched my priorities.

I was quite a normal guy who found religion and wanted to be a good Christian. I was dangerous in ways my wife found alluring and attractive. She saw ways and attitudes in me that were secure to her. She could be herself around me and I was accepting and she knew I loved her so very much.

One day I woke up and took inventory of a shattered life. My wife had no respect for me and my children were taking advice from another man concerning me. My financial state was absolute chaos. Spiritually I was devastated. Physically I was weak and sick. Mentally I was destroyed. I found myself staying at a friend’s home, in one of his children’s rooms, looking down the barrel of a Glock 40 cal.

How did this happen? What did I miss? I felt like a train had driven through my life and was backing up to finish the job. I had lost everything in the world I worked for in a single afternoon. I was so angry at God I cursed Him. I had nearly pulled the trigger on myself and was now intent on finding the source of my stress and doing the same. I came way too close to being incarcerated for a very, very long time.

You may say something like, That could never happen to me! That guy has real problems! I left out the part where I had been a member of a Baptist church for over fourteen years. I had team taught the four and five year old class with my wife for a year. I was the youth leader for several years. I was voted in as a deacon and held that office for over five years. During the year of my life meltdown, I was named the associate pastor and had a B+ average at a nationally known Baptist university via correspondence. I had grown to love God’s Word, loved to preach and to teach and planned to pursue full time ministry. I was extremely active in all aspects of my church. I wanted to truly give my life for God’s purpose. What actually happened was far from that.

Fast forward five years from that fateful afternoon and you come to the point where I am now. I feel the need for men to be men. I do mean feel. My gut wrenches when I observe families most times. My emotions churn as I see men in day to day activities act like anything but men. I see an epidemic of emotionally immature and spiritually weak and superficial men. I see men who have abilities and brains but have allowed themselves to be put into a place of unnatural submission, weakened by our culture via society, pastors and peers.

I am not about to give my account of how to fix yourself in five easy steps. Each man has his own peculiarities, strengths and weaknesses. Each man’s story is unique. Each man needs to find his own place in this world. This book is not intended for any purpose other than simply getting men to think.

If I was taught how to simply think on my own, my Season of Destruction, as I have come to call it, probably would have never come into being. It was a time in my life when my then pastor used his long term friendship with me and my family for his own personal interests. It was a time in my life when my family truly needed pastoral help, counseling, guidance and insight.

I didn’t even see the possibility of deception and manipulation. I was taught that he was the finality of honesty and uprightness. He held the highest possible moral position. I was blindsided by his agenda. Total trust quickly turned into questioning every aspect of my life. My then mentor had destroyed everything I had worked for and prayed for. Christianity, to me, was a farce at this point.

He had used his pastoral role and friendship with my family to get the opportunity to get very, very close to my spouse. He had betrayed his calling, his spouse, his family and the church.

What follows this? It is a contamination of a man’s spiritual perspective on life. It is a destruction of confidence on many levels. Sleepless nights abound. Physical sicknesses plague you caused by stresses from avenues you didn’t know existed. Anxieties appear that affect every aspect of your life from how you dress and personal hygiene to your performance at work.

Your children look upon you as a failure and someone who can’t make a decent decision to save their life. They come to expect to hear No, when it is time for a family trip or taking time out for fun. Time drudges by and family ties are at a breaking point.

The language and sarcasm within the family are at an all-time negative. If alcohol and drugs would appear, this is the time.

This was a time when I literally could not look into the mirror. I was full of shame and embarrassment. I hated myself, other people, my wife, and those men in whom I tried to find help.

What about my wife? She had a part, too, right? Yes, she had a part. She was also taught that a pastor was the last person to be unrighteous and was the utmost in integrity.

Let me put it this way. Have you ever been in dire straits and you needed help in determining which way to go? You ask the person in whom you trust to give you direction. Over time he leads you into a place you never thought you would end up? I will tell you that a woman who is emotionally overwhelmed can be manipulated into acting and thinking in ways she normally would not.

It does something to a man to see his wife in total torment from within, declaring terrible things about herself, while tears are falling to the floor. I listened to the gut wrenching sounds of her cries, fully realizing she was used, manipulated and lied to. What can you do in a time such as this? The only thing we had was a tiny flicker of hope. We had been Christians for fourteen years. Somehow God was the answer, but we were totally lost in direction and purpose.

It was the norm, so we thought, prior to our season of destruction. The pastor just has access to your wife’s cell number and just randomly calls when he needs something. The pastor has permission to bypass the husband in the name of ministry.

The funny thing was that we were not even having marital issues at the time. It was a close family member we needed help with! But emotions ran high and my wife and I went into a minor panic. That did cause a lot of stress in our relationship. The rest is history.

If I was just taught how to think, the years of pain and anguish would never have been. If I was given permission to truly be a man, all would have been different, I promise you.

To this day there are strains within the relationships of my immediate family resulting from that time in our family history. To this day there are issues that I need to deal with.

As I started out with, I am far from perfect and made many mistakes in my marriage, in discipline, in my wok, etc. I had been a middle of the road procrastinator who frequently mismatched my priorities. I was quite a normal guy who found religion and wanted to be a good Christian.

I got the snot knocked out of me in life. I hated certain people. I