Women of Holiness Women of Beauty

By Nashela Hargrave and Virginia Howard

When you are born you wonder why and for what purpose, You live and make choices, mostly bad ones (but they are not all your fault after all you were misguided). The years pass and you pick up tidbits of knowledge along the way as God's grace and mercy begins to guide you, because somewhere along the way your heart softened and the light of His love penetrated the walls of rebellion and disobedience that dominated your spirit and now you find yourself positioned to be set free.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 15, 2011
• ISBN: 9781467042710

Nashela Hargrave

Being raised in the church from an early age, listening to hellfire and damnation preaching doesn't prepare you for the real life planned for you by God. My father wasn't affected by the doomed sermons. It seemed that he was the one who grasped a hold of the [God Is Love] message and his great sense of humor made enduring those times tolerable. He raised me with a balanced mentality and I learned life from every aspect through him. Mother on the other hand was totally thrown into this spiritual religious sphere and I got pulled into it. I was being prepared to go to heaven without any thought for my daily day to day, month to month or year to year existence. As a result it ushered me into rebellion. As time went on however the full knowledge of what living was all about came as a result of Jesus words l I came that you might have life to the full. The Bible was being read and studied more intently not just by my parents but by me as well. Were there mistakes made that could have been avoided? Yes! Were there dreams that didnt come to fruition? Yes! But thank God the principals for biblical love and the paths that would eventually be taken by me would be manifested as God shaped, molded and prepared for my destiny that was surely to come.

Book preview

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

A Healthy Temple

Angry Women

Bad Marriage Recipe

Bloom and Blossom

Brides to Be

Caring Caregivers

Children, Part 1:

Children in Crisis

Empowered for Wealth

Exalted Praise

Failure to Success

Fruitful Fasting

Good Thing

House Beautiful

In Pursuit of God

Knowing God Better

Children, Part 2:

Children and Mothers

No Wedges, Sisters

Power Praying

Shackled

Spiritual Paralysis

Storm-Tested Faith

True Worship

Ugly Side of Unforgiving

Vessels of Beauty

Women in Ministry

Wow Your Husband

A Letter from Our Hearts

Women of Holiness,

Women of Beauty

Dedication

This book and first work is dedicated to my mom, Pastor Nettie L. Ellison and The New Faith Deliverance Revival Church family, the Ellison and Howard families, and especially to my husband and best friend, John H. Howard Jr., whose guidance and encouragement was what I needed to finish writing this book.

To my special aunts, Polly Gladden, Victoria Moore, Mattie Ellison, and Audrey Sutherlin; and to George Sutherlin and Leroy Ellison, my uncles.

To my cousins, Lorraine Ogoji, Dr. Bernice Wright, and Travis Osaghae.

To Pastors Joshua and Marlene Jones and the God’s Army Christian Center family.

To my special friends, Mary Bridgeford, Paula Langley and Joyce Wilson, and Mrs. Daisy Wallace and family.

To my talented daughter and co-author, Nashela (who witnessed firsthand a lot of the abuse I suffered in my marriage to Bishop because she suffered as well), and my wonderful grandchildren, Kevin Jr. and Helen-Marie.

In remembrance of Herbert Douglas Ellison (my dad) and Clinton W. Ellison (my brother).

Finally, a special thanks to Dr. Thom Thompson and my cousin, Idia Osaghae, who also helped with this project.

Introduction

Many women have changed the course of history. Some influenced the bad and ugly side of womanhood, and their stories should not be ignored. However, as we have no desire to be like them, if anything, we should learn from them. I would like to think that the majority of women who have effectively shaped our society and done so positively are all a part of the fabric of women of holiness and women of beauty. When God whispered into my spirit to write this book and gave me its title, I laughed. Was God joking? He knew my circumstances, and the last place I felt like I was in was holiness, and as far as beauty was concerned, in no way did I look it or feel it. Trust me when I say I was in the worst state of my life.

I was in a marriage I felt was ordained from hell. My husband was one of Satan’s chief ambassadors, and he truly made Satan proud. He didn’t reverence God at all—not in the church, on the street, or in the home. To most of the people who knew him, he was intimidating, and I was finding out for myself why they felt that way. Whenever something or someone made him angry, you had to literally prepare yourself for the storm that was about to come. The cussing, ranting, and raging would last for hours and biting his lip until it bled was common before he calmed down. I got used to these episodes until one day it escalated way out of control. I started praying and saying Jesus. To my amazement, he gave me a look that literally shook and scared me beyond norm and told me to take Jesus and stick Him up my rectum, and of course, he didn’t say rectum.

It became apparent to me that the majority of his episodes of rage happened because of his attitude toward women. I was shocked when that revelation hit me, but it was true. If he could have managed his life without women, he would have. He learned to tolerate women, and of course, he tolerated me. He didn’t embrace our worth; he used us for what we were worth. After all, we weren’t totally useless. We were good and needed for things like having sex, having babies, cooking and cleaning and helping financially, but aside from all that, he still considered us worthless.

Throughout most of the marriage he called me Mrs. B (that, of course, was the b-word). When he did call my name, I didn’t respond right away to him because it wasn’t his normal thing to do and it shocked me. He was abusive physically, mentally, and verbally and totally controlling. It would dawn on me later that he had low self-esteem and was psychologically, socially, and mentally challenged. I would find out why later. When the later came, I found out that the major issue he was dealing with revolved around his mother who didn’t want him or his siblings.

His mother was truly one of the women we should have no desire to be like. What she did to him was devastating, and it would take the whole fourteen years of our marriage for him to be healed from the hurt, pain, and abuse he suffered because of her. Only then could the process of forgiveness for her and him begin. You see, I was married to a bishop, and yes, he was also a pastor.

You might ask, Before you married him, weren’t there warning signs? Yes! There were flashing signs, neon signs, billboard signs, and trust me, and he was a sign himself. The truth of the matter is I really didn’t pay much attention to the signs or his behavior. He was highly regarded as a man of God and was gifted in the prophetic anointing. His ministry dealt with deliverance, and unfortunately, he was the one who needed delivering. I felt