The Journey of a Christian Counselor

By Jessie Rose Barrow

The Journey of a Christian Counselor is written for the individual who feels drawn by the Holy Spirit to counsel, with or without formal training in the profession. It is a story within a story, a chronology of the spiritual and professional journey of a young woman searching for the meaning of a vision that she saw at the birth of her son. This vision changed her life, but it was not until the brutal death of her son that she gained the courage to release the vision and accept its purpose in her life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 15, 2012
• ISBN: 9781449737214

Jessie Rose Barrow

The author is a professional counselor with more than twenty years of experience and an advanced degree in counseling. She is a counselor educator and practitioner. When working with clients, she integrates biblical principles into theories and practices of psychology to facilitate emotional healing, spiritual growth and to strengthen their faith. Challenged by personal tragedies, she had to self-administer the biblical and psychological principles that she share with clients to recover. The most challenging tragedy was the brutal murder of her only son. It forced her to press through the pain of this loss and search Scriptures even deeper to recover and to find a good in such an evil thing. The author is the founder of the National Christian Counseling Institute, a nonprofit training organization. She has returned to private practice and is forever grateful for the healing virtue of the Holy Spirit and loving relationships. She has a daughter, a loving son-in-law and their two children and her son’s children.

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The Journey of

A Christian Counselor

Jessie Rose Barrow

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Copyright © Jessie Rose Barrow 2012

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ISBN: 978-1-4497-3721-4 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-3670-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-3671-2 (hc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012900495

WestBow Press rev. date:3/8/2012

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

The Beginning of My Journey

Chapter 2

Called to Counsel

Chapter 3

The Wilderness Experience: Not by Sight but by Faith

Chapter 4

Lessons from Nicodemus

Chapter 5

God or Mammon

Chapter 6

The Power in Suffering: A Divine Appointment

Chapter 7

Motherhood: A Divine Assignment

Chapter 8

Shaping the Lives o f Children

Chapter 9

The Favor of God

Chapter 10

Anointed to Serve

Chapter 11

Transitioning from Milk to Meat

Chapter 12

The Vision

Chapter 1

The Beginning of My Journey

You are reading this book because it has been written for you. I believe there is a meaning behind every experience in life, and every experience is part of the intricacies and complexities of humanity. I welcome you on this journey with me; it was divinely orchestrated between us. It is an account of my journey of seeking purpose and fulfillment as a Christian, seeking understanding of a call to ministry, and determining to hold on to hope.

My journey is probably not very different from yours. I have enjoyed mountain top experiences such as becoming a mother, traveling throughout the world, having wonderful friends and a level of career success. There have been the valleys such as, a battle with cancer, divorce, and the murder of my only son. Wow! The latter gave me the courage to invite you on a journey I have been chronicling for thirty years.

I actually began recording this story at the birth of my son. It was not until his death at age thirty-one that I developed the courage to share it with you. His birth marked the beginning of my journaling because of a spiritual experience, a vision, I had that changed my life forever and ignited a focused search for purpose. His death has compelled me to reflect and began to connect the pieces of the enigma known as life and understand the essence of my vision.

The journey that I am sharing with you started shortly after my son was born, I was alone with him making final preparations for our move to England. My husband had departed weeks earlier to find housing. My four-year-old daughter was visiting in-laws, and my two-month-old son and I were to depart weeks later. But I was not prepared for what happened early one morning around 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. I can’t think of any other way to describe it other than a spiritual encounter. This experience sent me on a journey driven by the vision I saw and the words I heard.

I sought out answers from Bible scholars, elders in churches, the Sullivans (my spiritual parents), and my family, but no one could help me to find peace about the experience. Vexed, I was driven into a wilderness experience of seeking insight and spiritual guidance. It was easier to conclude that the vision and the experience that led me into this wilderness experience was not about me but about the destiny of my son, who at the time of the vision lay innocently in his bed, swaddled in soft, powder blue blankets. Perhaps he would be a prolific end-time evangelist or prophetic preacher of the gospel. It would be my responsibility to nurture, guide, teach, and protect him until he entered into his ministry and divine purpose. This is what I believed for nearly thirty years, and then he was murdered at age thirty-one, so obviously, I failed him was my initial reaction

Now the vision and words that were spoken along with it burn deeply in my heart, illuminating my grief, prolonging my bereavement, and holding me captive to the agony I feel over the loss of his life. I am unable to see his smile, hear his laughter, and touch him. The last words that I heard from him were, Happy birthday, Mom, and less than twenty-four hours later, he was found dead. There is no relief for this pain other than writing about this journey.

It is obvious the vision was not for him. It was for us—you and me. I have learned that when people ask the question, What is God’s purpose for my life? the answer is embedded in their journey. I am convinced that I need to share my journey with you, and that includes the vision that changed my life.

Prior to my son’s death, I stumbled around in the wilderness looking for ways to express my love for Christ and my purpose. I worked in the church, taught Sunday school, spoke at churches, and gave to the needy. I was very protective and controlling of my son. In my heart, I knew he was destined for greatness, and it was my responsibility to lead him to it. But he just didn’t seem to understand what I needed to do for him, and his rebellion toward me left me feeling inadequate and confused. I had to find a way to feel I was meeting the expectations of the vision I had seen and the words I heard from the Spirit of Christ, so I entered the ministry of Christian counseling.

It helped me to reconcile feelings of discontentment about my purpose in life and the struggle with my son. My Christian counseling experience was going very well until a young minister came into my agency and shared a dream he had concerning me. He asked, Is this what God wants you to do? I was shocked by the question, and I was even more surprised by the conversation that followed. My response to him was I am not sure, and he responded, That is what you said in the dream. I enjoyed Christian counseling. It was a way to reconcile my desire to serve God and the unanswered questions concerning my journey with my son.

However, the visit from this young man forced me to reflect on my past, examine the road I was traveling, and scrutinize how I had reached this point of my journey. I realized that Christian counseling kept me connected with the great I Am. When I ministered to couples, children, and individuals, I could feel the flow of the Holy Spirit guiding my interventions, analyses, and conceptualizations of presenting problems. During sessions, it was evident that the Spirit of Christ was present with us. Preparation for this ministry began during my childhood.

As I reflected on my past, I could see how my childhood experience was the foundation for my religious beliefs. I was born into the Christian religion. My grandfather was a Baptist preacher. I was baptized into the Christian doctrine and professed belief in Christ at age twelve. According to the doctrine of my religion, I became a Christian.

Becoming a Christian in my family’s church meant a period of consecration and affirmation of religious beliefs. During that period, I was not allowed to go to movies or school dances or to engage in any worldly activities. My parents believed that there had to be a period of consecration before water baptism. It was important to live a consecrated life during this period of abstinence -from youthful, childhood pleasures like basketball games and school dances- so that the baptismal would be uneventful (I would not strangle). If I experienced difficulties, observers gathered to witness my submergence in the outdoor baptismal pool would be led to believe that I was still a sinner and not ready for this new walk with God.

So, the moment of truth lurked over me, and it was a pretty frightening time for a twelve-year-old. As I was submerged in that very cold outdoor pool, it was as if all of the saints stood by to see if I would drown, strangle, or come up out of the water without any indications of impurity during my consecration period. I remember leaping up with excitement and saying, I am so happy. My clothing was soaked; I was frightened going under but ecstatic when I came up out of the water without any indications of choking or strangling. I proved to the crowd that my period of consecration was a success.

I assume for the witnesses, this was the beginning of my Christian journey. But for me, it was just the beginning of the struggle to understand life with all of its challenges and disappointments. Being the eldest of five children meant a lot of things. One of those things was that I was the experiment for parenthood. I was an obedient and helpful child; my mother’s friends and my extended family members seemed to delight in me. One of my mother’s friends was the most impressionable to me. I will never forget her.

Her name was Miss Mildred. She lived around the corner from us, and I had to run errands for her often. She was a very devoted Bible reader. She was also a hypochondriac and always complained about a sickness that inhibited her from doing errands. Most of the time it was an allergy or