I Believe: Help My Unbelief

By Larry Sullivan

In Mark 9, a father whose son was tormented by a demon came to Jesus for healing. The words of the father sounds familiarly inconsistent, "I believe; help my unbelief." We must admire his transparency, which resonates with us. He wanted more than anything for his son to be healed. Only this itinerant teacher could heal him from the threat of injury and possibly death. When he went to the disciples first and they couldn't heal his boy, then his faith was shaken. The inconsistency in his words describes a common reality we share as human beings. Believing and having unbelief at the same time sounds like a contradiction. The objective is to know all people have beliefs and doubts. It is obvious at home, in school, at work""everywhere. Sometimes Christians need to hear one can believe and be given permission to have doubts in matters of faith. Long-established interpretations and organizational structures may be necessary but are not to displace the reality of God's love, grace, and truth, shown in the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. I Believe; Help My Unbelief is an attempt to give the reader permission to find positive joy and love for God and demonstrated in our love for each other. It is not necessary to be examples to the world as keepers of truth but rather embracing love for all people just as God has loved us. This is one thing all Christians can agree upon""to love all people as God has loved us.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 30, 2019
• ISBN: 9781645694656

Book preview

cover.jpg

I Believe

Help My Unbelief

Larry O. Sullivan

ISBN 978-1-64569-464-9 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64569-465-6 (digital)

Copyright © 2019 by Larry O. Sullivan

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Part 1

Two Constants—Spiritual and Material

Breaking News!

The Warranty Expires

God Revealed

The Struggle and Progress

Two Views of the Struggle

Part 2

God’s Love and Our Response

Natural Love and God’s Love

Love Letters

Part 3

Weapons of Conflict

Where Flesh and Spirit Tangle

Human Dualism and the Resolution of Conflict

The Physical and Spiritual Interests of Disputants

Part 4

Who Makes the Best Citizen? A Contrast between Barbarians, Greeks, Jews, and Christians

What Is Your Focus?"

The Holy Spirit and Me

Christian Evidence

History as Evidence

Hindrances and Satan

Introduction

My Story

Many Christians, including myself, have been reluctant to question our beliefs and to state out loud doubts and insecurities. Where did we get the idea we are supposed to be confident in all aspects of Christian living and practices? Did the idea come from home, preaching and teaching we are to put on our best behavior before others? But just how exactly are we to demonstrate our faith before the world if secretly we know our flaws, inner thoughts, and faithless actions? Regardless of how hard I try to walk in the light of Jesus, I stumble and fall on the road of life. Some of my Christian friends are there to remind me of my sins, and others pass by thinking to themselves, Thank God I am not like him. The problem is I have thought the same thing about others caught in despair, floundering in the quagmire of bad decision making, so right up front I confess belief in God’s love and my doubts of ever being good enough to live a totally pure life.

It is for this reason I wrote I Believe: Help My Unbelief. The objective is not to say the flaws in my life are all right, and being a Christian doesn’t mean we stop trying to be more like Jesus and attempt to be lights in the world. What it does mean is we must stop being judgmental and a little arrogant in our view of other people. To say they deserve to be punished for what they do in this life is really a condemnation of us. We all deserve punishment even though we have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus. God loves us and extends grace to each of us. If He didn’t care, then why raise our hopes by revealing to the world life as God intended found in relationship to Jesus?

The faulty view of us being capable of earning God’s love is joined to an emphasis on condemnation and eternal punishment. The teachings throughout the centuries have been a means to control the masses through fear. Gospel meetings aroused the horrors of burning in hell for eternity. As a young preacher, I preyed on the idea that people needed to be saved or perish. On the saved side of the equation, somehow Christians adopted the worldly mind-set we are saved because we earned eternal life by our own efforts and discipline. It really doesn’t make a difference on which side people identify themselves and others, we are totally and unequivocally dependent on God’s grace and perfect love for human beings.

The Crumbling Walls

The walls of my Christian heritage are crumbling, and the transition has been painful. Fundamental biblical essentials taught from childhood at home and in the local congregation are questionable. The forms and practices morphed into equal status to one’s relationship with Christ the Savior. The apostle Paul said it best, All I know is Christ and him crucified. Could such a simple conclusion possibly be enough to please God? Systems and biblical patterns laying out essentials for worship, for administration, and structure of the church may be necessary but also harmful.

Christian faith developed in the formative years is difficult to question or change. How the gospel message was taught and experienced tends to influence one’s view of church and relationships with others who do not practice their Christian faith the same way I do. The struggle is not faith in my Savior but with the arrogance demonstrated as keepers of the truth. Decades ago I entered the ministry as a preacher and teacher. Nobody in my family was surprised. As a little boy, I played church, and the neighborhood kids were the congregation. I led them in songs, prayers, and baptizing, even if the kids were not willing. My dog, Chippy, didn’t like baptism at all. The church was my life. My father and his family were dedicated to the cause of Christ through supporting preachers and taking care of a meeting place for Christians. Dad served as a deacon and then an elder. My brother Don preached all his life, and one of his sons became a missionary and the other is a preacher. When my mom and dad fell in love, the main criteria for marriage was their faith and the church. My mother’s brother was an evangelist, and her father served as an elder as long as I can remember.

These family roots run deep in Christian practice and love for God’s inspired word and His church. The examples of their faith was not hidden but proudly displayed in all aspect of their lives. When Nancy and I married, we tried living like the rest of the world, with high ambitions and striving to have more things and a higher standard of living. I must admit the world appealed to our cravings. After a while, the facade was stripped away, and the reality of emptiness set in. Solomon was right, all is vanity and striving after the wind. During these years of finding our true identity, we became parents of two very special children, Don and Susan. We imagined they would carry on the faith tradition, but we also knew they would need to find out for themselves how to live life in the most meaningful way. We encouraged them through praying, teaching, and proclaiming the message of Jesus while having a good time doing it.

Nancy’s family demonstrated Christian faith in a different way than how I was raised. It took a while for me to embrace their love for God because they didn’t worship like I was taught. They were part of a denomination, and I believed the true church was nondenominational. My faith history extended at least five generations and probably generations before the family history I know. I was so convinced her mother and father were lacking in the truth that our children were not allowed to stay over on Sunday at the Turners. When my mother and father were in a deadly head-on automobile crash and my mother was killed, we thought our children were with them. Fortunately my parents left the kids with the Turners for the weekend, and in breaking my demand, Don and Susan were safe. We could say it was just a coincidence, but this was the beginning of reevaluating how faith should be played out in everyday life.

Doubts

I confess I have doubts. Is it okay to say I have trouble understanding some things written in the Bible? Is it okay not to be a defender of some of my traditional beliefs? Are my doubts justified when praying at the bedside of a friend or loved one who, by all rights, deserves to be healed? What kind of a spiritual leader am I if I need help with unbelief? Is it okay to have doubts about anything pertaining to faith? The conclusion for me is, I am simply in Jesus and saved from sin and death. My focus then is to pray, study the Scriptures, and to be transformed daily by God’s Spirit so others will see Jesus living in me. I know such a statement sounds churchy, but there is no other way for me to say it.

The struggle is not only intellectual but emotional and spiritual. In reading various other Christian writers, there seems to be a trend toward revealing one’s own insecurities in holding to exclusive traditional views. It doesn’t seem to make any difference whether the traditions are Protestant, Catholic, fundamental, liberal, or conservative. The simple truth prevails: Jesus Christ is the answer to the human dilemma, the human dilemma being we live in a world of contradiction. If we are honest, we find ourselves as living contradictions, vacillating between two extremes. On the one side is self-sufficiency and on the other dependency. Let me find my full potential while being supported emotionally, financially, physically, and spiritually. The title, I Believe: Help My Unbelief, may not be the intent to show the inconsistencies of being human, but it does show honesty and vulnerability.

A Father’s Story

There once was a father whose son was tormented by a demon. The words of the father sounded a lot like mine. What he said appeared to be inconsistent, I believe; help my unbelief (Mark 9:24, NRSV). His words reveal a transparency that resonates with me. He wanted more than anything for his son to be healed. He recognized the fate of his son was out of his hands. Only this itinerant teacher could heal him from the threat of injury and possibly death.

You may have experienced a time when you felt helpless like this father. You sat with you child most of the night, trying to comfort and do whatever was necessary to help her be well. Sometimes your attempts were not good enough. You called the doctor and received antibiotics, but nothing seemed to work. You tried every possible way to find a cure, but the one you loved so much did not get better.

If you have experienced something like what has been described, then you know the father’s sense of desperation to see his son released from a spirit preventing the boy from speaking. His son’s behavior, under the influence of the spirit, was a frightening spectacle for onlookers. The father, who loved his son, was helpless and could only look on as he thrashed about, foaming at the mouth and grinding his teeth. Since the father is desperate to find a cure, he approaches students of a famous rabbi who is a noted healer and pleads with them to heal his son.

The students of Jesus of Nazareth were unable to help the boy. One would think the twelve men could heal his son. They also must have been frustrated by their inability to heal the boy. In the meantime, Jesus was busy healing others and proclaiming the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Wasting no time, the father runs to Jesus and pleads for Him to intervene and heal his son. The father pleads for something to be done to heal his son. The teacher’s attention is drawn to the man who would do anything to see his son be rid of the demon. What is significant about this account is Jesus’s compassion for the father. He knows this man’s frustration and sense of helplessness and heartache.

Touched by the father’s pain, intensified after years witnessing his son’s torment, Jesus replies, If you are able all things can be done for the one who believes. Then He commands the spirit to leave the helpless son, and immediately the boy is released from the mental and physical anguish. With screeches and uncontrollable shakings, the spirit’s demonic work left the son lifeless on the floor. Jesus takes the boy’s hand and lifts him to his feet. The father is euphoric seeing his son could walk and carry out the much-used phrase, This is the beginning of the rest of your life. He could speak, walk, dream, and live a normal life with his family and community.

Jesus has the power to conquer evil. He is the giver of life and healing, as the Bible testifies in many ways. The young boy’s father says something profound and totally relatable to me. He turns to Jesus and cries out, I believe; help my unbelief. I’ve learned these revealing words capture the inconsistency of being human. The father saw firsthand the miracles of Jesus. It happened with no other explanation than Jesus actually healed people. Yet he also understood what it meant to