Sammie Jo: A 'Not-Quite' Shifting Witchy Love Story: Magic and Mayhem Universe: The 'Not-Quite' Love Story Series

By Julia Mills

Wearing the fur, waving the wand, and wrecking the world! From Witch to familiar in one Bibbidi, Bobbidi, BOOM! It's back to Asscrack to beg and grovel and pray to the Goddess that Zelda, the next Baba Yaga & Almighty Shifter Wanker, will undo the mess I've made and return me to my beautifully curvy body on two legs instead of the four little furry ones I am presently sporting.

Let me share with you that smelling butts and having mine accosted at every turn by any random nose from any random animal who just happens to be passing by, is really, and I mean really, not a turn-on. I'm ready to be human again in the worst way and willing to plead and clean toilets (Gross!) if Zelda will just make with the magic and goofy rhyming spell.

Of course, there's a hitch, and I'm praying she doesn't ask, because if she does I might die of embarrassment before I ever get to wear my new Jimmy Choos. Can you keep a secret? This is just between us, right? Good! Well, the spell that went crazy and covered not only my backyard but also me in neon orange lava was a ritual of my design meant to find my one and only lovey-dovey mate. So, now I'm wondering if getting changed in a cat and having my magic go on the fritz is the Universe's way of saying, "You, Sammie Jo, are doomed to live alone. Give it up and go be a cat, at least it's better than a Cat Lady.

Sigh! I just hope I didn't mess up something in the fabric of time and space and let a big, ghoul out of its supernatural cage because then there's no way Zelda will save my ass. Yay! One more thing to worry about. I think I'll go lay in the sun and take a nap, I'm about ten hours short of my required sixteen and I'd hate to get bags under these tiny little cat eyes.

Toodles and…keep the faith, I'm gonna need all the help I can get. XOXO

• Language: English
• Publisher: Julia Mills
• Release date: Aug 27, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386699200

Book preview

Foreward

Blast Off with us into the Magic and Mayhem Universe!

I’m Robyn Peterman, the creator of the Magic and Mayhem Series and I’d like to invite you to my Magic and Mayhem Universe.

What is the Magic and Mayhem Universe, you may ask?

Well, let me explain...

It’s basically authorized fan fiction written by some amazing authors that I stalked and blackmailed! KIDDING! I was lucky and blessed to have some brilliant authors say yes! They have written brand new stories using my world and some of my characters. And let me tell you...the results are hilarious!

So here it is! Blast off with us into the hilarious Magic and Mayhem Universe. Side splitting books by fantabulous authors! Check out each and every one. You will laugh your way to a magical HEA!

For all the stories, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/. Grab your copy today!

Chapter One

Please-th go get your mother, Henry Charles-th, I purred with a lisp, as his chunky little baby fingers tickled under my kitty chin.

Not only had I not figured out how to talk without a lisp, but I simply could not resist a good petting. This being a cat thing was a real pain in the ass, although I had no one to blame but myself. Katie had always said we needed to study our spells better, but then again, she blew her soul all to Hell and now there was a Hellhound’s alter ego living in her body. What the hell did she really know? Anyway, I seriously have no clue how Salem, Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s cat, did it for all those years. Being a feline is not all it’s cracked up to be and I wanted out.

Steeling my resolve, I tried to pull away from those soft little strokes as I put a growl in my voice, "Henry, where is-th your mom? I really have to talk to her."

Sthe’sth out with-th daddy, He lisped with a giggle and a hiccup just as his cute little twin sister, Audrey toddled up.

Ohhhhh, kitty. I wanna pet the kitty the female twin squealed before plunging her hands into my fur and giving me a deep tissue massage that had my eyes rolling back in head and me purring with such force that I damn near vibrated right off the porch.

Thankfully, before I completely embarrassed myself, Zelda’s dad, Fabio, who was a real hottie for an older guy appeared on the porch. Close behind was his girlfriend, Carol, the Baba Yaga (read that as Most Powerful Witch in the whole freaking world, cause that’s what she is) who was chuckling about some ‘dingbat know-it-all little witch who couldn’t use her own magic with both hands and a wand’.

Oh yeah, this is gonna be a fun conversation.

Opening my kitty mouth to explain, I never got to speak as Carol grumbled, "What is that? Get away from it kids, it probably has rabies or fleas or only the Goddess knows what. With a look of disgust and her nose scrunched up like she’d just gotten a big ole whiff of steaming shit, she added, It’s absolutely mangy.

Jumping to my feet, I sauntered over to the Baba Yaga, my fear from our previous encounter forgotten and my frustration with screwing up like a newbie trying to pass her HIPPOS to get her wand, I completely forgot who I was talking (read that as yowling) at and hissed, I am not a that!

Surprisingly, my fury pushed all the lisp out of my voice as I powered on. With my tail poofed to its full potential and the hair standing up along my spine, I screamed at the woman whose hair was teased and sprayed with at least two cans of Aqua Net putting the saying ‘the higher the hair, the closer to God’ to the test. I admit to having to look at her face for fear of going blind from her mismatched eighties’ neon striped top, black and white checkered skirt, and screaming fuchsia jelly platforms. (Yes, I said