The 'Not-Quite' Love Story Series

From pauper to princess to prisoner in forty-eight hours is a lot for anyone to handle, but she's Phoebe O'Byrne, dammit!  Phoebe thought her life had finally gotten easier and that she'd found her purpose. All she wanted to do was celebrate passing the BAR… then Grant Hollingsworth strolled into her life.  Now, up is down, in is out, and people think they can turn into birds! Stop the world, and this princess wants off!   

A great short story to make you swoon, giggle, and want some of your own fluorescent orange goo! Can she save her town, have the love she deserves, and NOT lose what's left of her 'almost-undead' sanity?    Fluorescent orange goo, one deranged raccoon, and a road trip to the bottom of the lake can be life-changing. Goodness knows Zoey's life was never the same, but like everything else in her twenty-plus years, even returning from the dead didn't go as planned.  Only time will tell…  Enjoy! XOXO, Julia

A short story sure to make you laugh and swoon! Time is running out. The body count is multiplying. It's all up to a cop, a vampire, and a self-proclaimed nerd to save the day.    Great job... Sexy boyfriend... Heiress to the Georgia Onion Empire... Vidalia Fitzsimmons had it all until the day bodies started dropping from the sky... literally.  Hold onto your hats folks, you're never gonna believe what happens next!  ENJOY! XOXO, Julia

Let this short story make you giggle, swoon, and wanna find out the mystery of love!   Things are always as the seem, sometimes they are so much better!   Being related to royalty has presented its problems, but everything was manageable, at least before retired Marine Jax Montgomery found himself at the bottom of a ravine with a broken leg and a bruised ego.      After two tours in Afghanistan and learning that people grow feathers, wings, and fur, Jax was sure nothing could surprise him, but things are about to get a whole lot 'hairier.' He was sure he had the tiger by the tail, but it seems pumas are a whole lot harder to catch.   ENJOY!! XOXO, Julia

Take one recently deceased Voodoo Priestess who refuses to believe she's mortality-impaired… Add one tall, dark, mysterious Bloodsucker who's developed a ragin' allergy to blood and all things plasma-related… Mix in a half-Witch/half-Voodoo Priestess with her own Detective Agency, a one-eyed, talking Black Cat who wants to be a stand-up comedian, and a partner who's been kidnapped by a backwater, hillbilly family of Otter Shifters from the wrong side of the swamp… And you've just entered the hell that is my life. Some days you're the pin. Some days you're the voodoo doll… And some days there's not enough coffee or chocolate in the whole wide world to deal with the shenanigans that fall from the sky like bird poop on a freshly washed car. Goddess, send help, I feel like a pin cushion.

Being single in a world where everything is thorn-covered roses and bags of bloody bones sucks! Heidi's got Hunter, Bert's got Luci…hell, even Lucifer's got Trixie and then there's me, the sexiest alter ego this side of Purgatory… stuck inside a Hellhound who's happier than a zombie at a Doom's Day Party at the body farm. Sure, Heidi and her Hunkie Hellhound hump like rabbits getting ready for Easter but even that's gotten boring. I need to get out, see the Underworld, sow my wild oats. I mean, a girl's gotta get hers while the gettin's good, am I right? It's taken six long months of bitchin'… I mean persuading, gentle persuading, but Heidi's finally agreed to find me a body. So, it's back in the Lady Bug Express and off to West Virginia, but this time we're avoiding the crazies and heading straight for Asscrack. We're gonna find Zelda, the next Baba Yaga, have her yank me outta Heidi and shove me into a fresh new body then bingo bango, Lola's gonna get her groove on. It looks like I might even end up with some powers, seems Cookie, the chickie giving me her skin, was a Witch when she was still breathing. Imagine that… me with magic. I'm positively giddy at the idea.

Get away from the city, they said. You'll love it in the country, they promised. You inherited a frikkin' mansion, whatcha got to lose? Yeah, well, that's the last time I listen to those boobs! It wasn't bad enough that my Pepto-Bismal-pink VW van went missing. But now, Ernesto the Parrot keeps making obscene comments about my butt, Wendy, the one-eyed cat is having a mid-life crisis, and Festus, the dancing donkey has gone on an all vegan diet. Oh, and let me not forget that my dearly-departed Auntie Dot is not-so dearly-departed and she's trying to fix me up with a dead guy. I swear, the next time somebody leaves me a house… I'm not moving in, I'm just droppin' it on one of my relatives. See ya' in Asscrack. Anything's better than this crap.

From the armpit of Hell to Lucifer-only-knows-where, West Virginia (Sue me! I lost the directions.) at the speed of light with my new bestie, Bert the imp and my hooker alter-ego, Lola without a plan or a clue. Yeah, that's the way we roll. Ten days is all I have before the love of my life marries the Princess of Hell and my dreams for a smokingly hot happily-ever-after goes up in flames. It's DEF CON 666 and this girl is outta time and outta choices. One of these Witches better have a plan to turn this Not-Quite Hellhound into a four-legged, butt-sniffing daughter of Cerberus or Satan himself is gonna make an appearance and we're all gonna be flambéed. Time is running out, my fur coat is nowhere to be found, and all I can think about is jumping that Hunky Hellhound's bones…. Hades help us, who does a girl have to kill to get a quad shot, no foam, caramel macchiato in this one-horse town? Hang on! Devilish Dips and Eye-Popping Mayhem coming up!

Wearing the fur, waving the wand, and wrecking the world! From Witch to familiar in one Bibbidi, Bobbidi, BOOM! It's back to Asscrack to beg and grovel and pray to the Goddess that Zelda, the next Baba Yaga & Almighty Shifter Wanker, will undo the mess I've made and return me to my beautifully curvy body on two legs instead of the four little furry ones I am presently sporting. Let me share with you that smelling butts and having mine accosted at every turn by any random nose from any random animal who just happens to be passing by, is really, and I mean really, not a turn-on. I'm ready to be human again in the worst way and willing to plead and clean toilets (Gross!) if Zelda will just make with the magic and goofy rhyming spell. Of course, there's a hitch, and I'm praying she doesn't ask, because if she does I might die of embarrassment before I ever get to wear my new Jimmy Choos. Can you keep a secret? This is just between us, right? Good! Well, the spell that went crazy and covered not only my backyard but also me in neon orange lava was a ritual of my design meant to find my one and only lovey-dovey mate. So, now I'm wondering if getting changed in a cat and having my magic go on the fritz is the Universe's way of saying, "You, Sammie Jo, are doomed to live alone. Give it up and go be a cat, at least it's better than a Cat Lady. Sigh! I just hope I didn't mess up something in the fabric of time and space and let a big, ghoul out of its supernatural cage because then there's no way Zelda will save my ass. Yay! One more thing to worry about. I think I'll go lay in the sun and take a nap, I'm about ten hours short of my required sixteen and I'd hate to get bags under these tiny little cat eyes. Toodles and…keep the faith, I'm gonna need all the help I can get. XOXO

Not everything is how it seems. Sometimes it is so much better!   From a vampire without her fangs to a phoenix who can't spout wings, a puma without fur, and a girl who might just be one of the walking dead, you will laugh out loud, swoon in your seat, and want to devour all four tales of these 'Not Quite', but seriously AMAZING heroes and heroines.   What could be better than one happy ending? Four in the same place!   Can't wait to hear what you think of these happily-ever-afters with a giggle and a kiss stories! ENJOY!! XOXO, Julia