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Beach Read
Beach Read
Beach Read
Ebook435 pages6 hours

Beach Read

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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About this ebook

FROM THE #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF FUNNY STORY!

A romance writer who no longer believes in love and a literary writer stuck in a rut engage in a summer-long challenge that may just upend everything they believe about happily ever afters.

As featured in The New York Times Book ReviewEntertainment WeeklyOprah Magazine ∙ Betches ∙ Shondaland ∙ Good Morning America ∙ The New York PostGood Housekeeping ∙ CNN ∙ and more!


Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They’re polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She’ll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he’ll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherPenguin Publishing Group
Release dateMay 19, 2020
ISBN9781984806741
Author

Emily Henry

Dopo gli studi all’Hope College, si è specializzata in scrittura creativa al New York Center for Art & Media Studies. Adesso vive a Cincinnati, Ohio. Scrittrice bestseller del New York Times, per HarperCollins ha pubblicato Beach read. Romanzo D’estate e Book lovers. Un amore tra i libri.

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Reviews for Beach Read

Rating: 3.912037138176638 out of 5 stars
4/5

1,404 ratings68 reviews

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Nov 16, 2024

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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Dec 31, 2024

    A romance, and also an exploration of writer’s block. It adequately addressed both.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Aug 15, 2024

    My first Emily Henry and I really appreciated her clean prose, her character development, and her self-referential literary humor. Am I already sick of svelte 20-something protagonists whose ideas of goblin mode are a cute pair of shortie-shorts and an ironic pop culture t-shirt that still makes them look extremely attractive? Yes I am. But one apparently does not come to Emily Henry for mature characters and that's ok. These particular main squeezes are working through their shit in interesting ways, they are bouncing off each other with clever banter, and of course they get an appropriately cinematic HEA. What more could you ask for, really?
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Jul 29, 2024

    January Andrews is broke, heartbroken after her father's death and the family drama that came to light in the wake of that event, and suddenly finds herself no longer able to write the romance novels for which she's so well-known. In an effort to try and churn out the book she's contracted to write, she retreats to the lake cabin she recently discovered her father owned only to find herself living next door to Augustus Everett, who she knew and kind of hated in college. Augustus is also a bestselling author although he wouldn't know a happy ending if it hit him in the face and he's also struggling with writer's block. Through a confluence of events January and Augustus make a bet, she'll write a book in his style and he'll try to write a romance and to help inform that process they'll each take the other on weekly outings for research. Romance plot ensues.

    I really enjoyed this novel and thought Henry did a great job of dealing with the baggage both January and Augustus bring with them, while also crafting a super cute romance. And that's saying something when some of Augustus's research trips involve digging into a suicide cult from the area. I'm starting to run out of backlist for Henry and I'm sad about it.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Dec 10, 2024

    Chick-lit romance if you need escapism.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Mar 29, 2024

    This was funnier, more substantive, and better than I expected. Not that I was expecting dreary, shallow, or bad, it was just all around *more* than I had anticipated. And one small section made me cry! Really glad that I finally got around to trying an Emily Henry.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Jan 29, 2024

    Recommended: sure
    for a different style of romance, for complex family betrayal and love, for a comforting quick read

    Thoughts:
    First things first: I don't think I'd consider this a beach read. Those are usually fluffier and light with the main issue the old trope where the characters just don't talk to each other and misunderstand something stupid. This book is not that. In fact, I was delighted that, for the most part, when they were hurt or angry or confused they did address it and talk to each other instead of letting idiocy fester. THANK YOU, EMILY HENRY.

    This book is more balanced than that. There's pain and darkness in many forms. In the obvious ways, like investigating a cult and the deaths connected to it. In January's pain over her father's death as well as his newly-discovered infidelity. And there's pain in more complex ways, in Gus's search for what it is about him that makes people leave, and even in the way The Mistress has been forced into January's life. It's messy, and that makes it feel believable. It allowed me to feel for the characters as they struggled with their emotions. Can you both love and hate someone? Absolutely. That's something Futurama taught me long ago (#27).

    An accomplishment in this story is making every character feel known. From aunts Pete and Maggie all the way to the mistress of January's father, I came away feeling like I had a good sense of who they were and their stances on the world.

    You might be thinking, so why three stars if all I have to say are good things? Don't get me wrong: three stars means I enjoyed this book, and I thought it was well done! It just didn't have anything so remarkably new to me to blow me away. I teared up a bit, but not enough for it to really tie into my emotions. Ask me in a few months and I probably won't remember the details of this book so much; but I still enjoyed reading it, and would recommend it to anyone who is interested after taking a look at it!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Jan 14, 2024

    I read this book for my book club the Random Readers. The assignment was to read a romance for February. I have read many a classic romance book, but other than Outlander, I would say I haven't really tried a romance. After going through reviews and lists, I found this book. I am glad I picked it in the end.
    Beach Read focuses on January. She had a picture perfect life up to a year ago. As a child, her mother was diagnosed with cancer (doesn't sound beautiful does it?), and when her father finds out he whisks his wife and daughter up and takes them to a steak house for dinner and dancing. January remembrs that evening as a sign of her parent's deep love and she starts building a life to reflect that perfect love. Years later she is a successful romcom writer (hit 15 on bestseller list), has a serious boyfriend named Jacques and lives in New York City. Life crashes then when her father dies of a sudden heart attack. At the funeral, her father's mistress appears with a letter for January from her father and a key to a secret beach house in Michigan on Lake Michigan. Jacques leaves her, and on top of all of this she gets writer's block.
    The summer after his death, January goes to the beach house to ready to sell it for the needed money and to hopefully write a book in three months. Lo and behold, January finds next door her old love interest and nemesis from creative writing school at U of M (Gus), who went on to write two literary bestsellers.
    Quick finish up here.... The two get to talking and decide to challenge each other to write the style the other writes. Fridays and Saturdays are for research. Gus takes her to interviews and research a death cult, while January plans the perfect romance hookup spots. You can guess where the romance is going. The serious literary side will be January coming to grips with her father and his mistakes. Gus will have to face a broken marriage.
    Two things I really enjoyed about this book. The first was the witty banter between Gus and January. It was comical and fun. The second interest was that I was reading about a romance writer talking about writing a romcom. What a funny twist.
    Serious lit? No. Fun. Definitely.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Nov 21, 2023

    Another fun book by this author (my favorite so far is still People We Meet on Vacation) and if you've read both of these and her book Book Lovers, make sure to read the deleted epilogue for Beach Read on the author's website. It's a fun short follow-up on these three stories.
    Again, I love the narrator of these books!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Nov 15, 2023

    Yeah. It works. A fun, quick little read. Don't feel like the title is reflective of what the book actually is. I get the reference, but it just doesn't feel justified. The spice was good, and I liked the touch of "thriller" like material in there. That was fun. But overall it was just kinda meh. STill a good read that i would recommend, but it didn't get me jazzed
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Dec 5, 2023

    January Andrews is devastated to learn that her dad was leading a double life. After his death, she inherits his beach house, and goes there to spend time contemplating how to write her next romance novel. But, she no longer believes that love is possible. She meets her grumpy next-door neighbor, Augustus (Gus) Everett, and realizes that he is her college nemesis. He always commented on her "happily ever after" endings, while he wrote more gritty stories. They strike an unlikely truce, that they will each learn and write the other's genre, taking each other on weekend trips to solidify the research. But, no one is allowed to fall in love.
    Sweet story about second chances, and discovering what makes us happy.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5

    Jul 1, 2023

    It's not a bad book, it's just not for me.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Jun 8, 2023

    Cute, not painful to get through for someone who doesn't particularly like romance...I appreciated that there weren't any huge misunderstandings. I wasn't swept away in this one though, so not a new favorite.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Jul 6, 2024

    [4.5] excuse me, miss henry, the BANTER between gus and january? perfection. this book was so beautifully written, and as a result it was so much more than a rom-com type romance, it read more like a contemporary fiction which really worked well for this book. dare i say i thought a small number of scenes were a little unnecessary but overall - amazing. no one does it like emily henry!! ?
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    May 27, 2023

    I enjoyed this Romcom about two writers who met in college and after her fathers death they are now next door neighbors. I liked hearing about writers block and how it can affect everything you do. The audio was fabulous for this and I listened in one sitting.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Feb 11, 2023

    January Andrews writes romance novels. August Everett writes literary fiction. Fate finds them at the beginning of the summer in adjacent beach houses staring at blank pages with hard deadlines ahead of them and a forest of emotional entanglement and confusion behind them. Worse, January has long had a crush on Gus whom she labelled her evil, sexy, writing nemesis back in the days they were in grad school together. And Gus has secretly also had a crush on January, the only classmate whose writing he felt merited critique back in those days. Once the initial frosty tension breaks, they settle on a plan to take up the other’s genre for the summer. Can Gus see through the bleakness of existence to write a romance? Can January get past her happy ever afters to see the meteor about to land on her protagonists? And can they avoid falling headfirst into their own love story and get their books written in time for their deadlines?

    Emily Henry’s first foray into romance writing (after a number of successful YA novels) is at times sweet and often poignant. January is a lovely character burdened by some unwanted knowledge subsequent to the death of her father. Gus’ angst is a bit more vague, at least initially. Perhaps Henry could have just let them spark off each other until the romance caught fire. But she has set herself the challenge of a bet in which they will swap genres and compete to see who can finish their book first. That was always going to be a clunky setup and it is. Fortunately, nothing in the rest of the novel really depends on it. Instead we learn about January’s disappointment with her father and her recent long-term partner. And we learn that Gus is a far sadder figure than we could have imagined. They both deserve to have their faith in love and other people rewarded. And there, Emily Henry does not disappoint.

    Gently recommended.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Dec 30, 2022

    Ok
    So Emily Henry plus characters who are in the book business = a contemporary romance I actually enjoy
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    Aug 9, 2023

    I chose this reading because I thought it would be more enjoyable, but I found it quite difficult to fully immerse myself in the story. Honestly, the chapters are so long that they felt really heavy to me, and in the end, they always ended up in the same place: unresolved sexual tension and bickering between the protagonists. The book started to appeal to me in the last chapters, which is when it became more interesting and things started to get resolved. (Translated from Spanish)
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Oct 19, 2022

    This was my first read for Emily Henry and I have a couple more to follow on my TBR shelf. Where it wasn't the fastest pace plot line it kept me interested. I love trying to figure out how people write books because it is something I would never be able to do! I think the ending was good but a little flat. That's the only reason I left off the last star. I'm looking forward to reading more by her.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Oct 6, 2022

    January writes romances, but her faith in happily ever after has been shaken when she has to face the less than happy reality of the family she thought she had. Gus writes literary fiction and is January's "evil college rival" who has nothing but disdain for happily ever after. While the hook to this story promises fun and flirty, the reality is two people coming to terms with the trauma in their personal lives and the recognition that they really don't know each other at all and there is more between them than either would have guessed. I really liked the deep dive into character.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Sep 23, 2022

    4.25

    Ladies and gentlemen, the rare occasion has appeared where I was able to find a love story I actually enjoyed! I enjoyed it a lot! Henry's writing and characters were endearing. I actually felt a connection to both the story and the characters, which is so rare for me when it comes to contemporary romance. I am excited to read more from Henry.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Sep 13, 2022

    January Andrews is struggling with writer's block after a rough breakup, her dad's death, and the reveal of a big secret that changed everything she believed about her tight-knit family. Now's she's spending the summer at the beach house she didn't know her father owned until he was gone, trying to write the romance novel she is under contract for, despite the fact that she no longer believes in romance. What could make things worst? Well, maybe if Augustus Everett, her college nemesis, happened to live right next door...

    Another fun read from Emily Henry. I liked this one a little bit better than People We Meet on Vacation, but not quite as much as Book Lovers. It has the same hallmarks as her other books: snappy dialogue with plenty of humor, and some steamy scenes when the characters finally give in to the romance. I'm glad to have discovered this author, and will keep an eye out for her future books.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Sep 10, 2022

    I had so much fun reading this book. It's a new favorite of mine. The two main characters are both funny and cute, all at the same time. One of the characters, January, is dealing with the death of her father. After his death, January finds out about some secrets her father left behind as she's trying to write her next book. The other character, Gus, is also trying to write his next book, as well. As the two characters find themselves struggling to complete their novels they come up with an idea to help each other. This book was filled with laughter and some tears but ultimately had a happy ending.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Sep 1, 2022

    I've been meaning to read Beach Read since it was first published. A sizzling hot book about two authors sounded right up my street.

    January is the author of romantic novels with happy ever after endings. Gus writes literary novels. They have history when they meet again after January finds herself in a beach house due to some sad events in her life. She's unable to write and he's struggling too and despite initially being a bit scathing of the other's writing style, they decide to try and write books in the other's genre and see who can sell their book first.

    I was expecting something really light and funny and although this book did make me laugh on a few occasions, it's got unexpected sadness in it. There's a lot going on individually with January and Gus and I wasn't sure if they could get over that. My favourite parts were when they verbally sparred with each other, leading to some seriously smoking hot chemistry between the two of them.

    I liked this book and found it a quick and enjoyable read. January tells the story in the first person and I found her hard to truly get to know and very introspective. Gus on the other hand comes out of it extremely well indeed (just excuse me while I get a fan please). I loved the set up of how they were living and the little notes they used to communicate. Definitely lots of rom and some com, but Beach Read is more than that: a love story, a story of family secrets and friendship. There's a warmth to it, a sense of healing and coming out the other side ready to move on and try to love again.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Aug 10, 2022

    A breezy enjoyable read perfect for the summer.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Jan 8, 2023

    What a good book.
    Not the best.
    But so good.
    It’s definitely perfect for sitting down to read in one go on an afternoon. It brings smiles, surprises you, makes you follow the thread of the sexy and smart conversations of the protagonists. It’s a very pleasant moment.
    Maybe the ending didn’t convince me much, it lacked a bit of impact in my opinion. But it’s perfect in its own way, you couldn’t expect anything else from a romance novel. A classic and satisfying ending. (Translated from Spanish)
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Jul 16, 2022

    At the end of Beach Read, Emily Henry wrote a section she called “Reader's Guide: Behind the Book.” In it, she said if she's describing this book to someone who is not a writer she says it's about “a disillusioned romance author and a literary fiction writer who make a deal to swap genres for the summer.” She then says if she's talking to a writer she says it's a book “about writer's block.” I didn't find the writer's block discussions and the pressure from her agent to be particularly interesting. However, the concept of the difficulties with writing the two different genres was fascinating. I believe it is the best part of this book.

    The basic storyline of Beach Read is that a woman, January Andrews, who just lost her father discovers that he had a second life with a mistress with whom he shared a house on Lake Michigan. January's father has left the house to her. She goes to this beach house to find a place where she can concentrate on her writing. She is being pressured by her agent to produce a book over the summer and she is having trouble getting started.

    January did not know about her father's affair but learns that her mother knew everything. Every time she asks her mother about the affair her mother says, “I don't want to talk about it.” So January is shocked and confused by her father's death, his affair, the way her mother allowed their life to go on without any changes, and how she has now inherited a place she didn't even know existed. Combine all this with the fact that January ends up living next door to Augustus Everett, someone she knew in college, which is, of course, a setup for romance.

    The book is a fun read as the two writers get to know each other and rehash their feelings about misunderstandings they had years ago. It's also a serious book about dealing with tragedy and with disappointment in people you love.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5

    Jul 11, 2022

    This was a very sweet, second chance romance. I like that Henry's plots tend to lightly trip over tropes without diving in all the way. For example, there were a few opportunities for the miscommunication trope to be used, but instead the MCs actually had the conversation - if a few days later. It's a portrayal of healthy relationships that I enjoy and find refreshing in the genre. I also like the lack of true villains; they are just complex people who made mistakes.

    And yes, Chapter 25: The Letters made me bawl.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    May 18, 2022

    I thought this was pretty cute--January and Gus, old college rivals, inadvertently become owners of neighboring beach houses in a Michigan town. Both writers, they end up switching genres when they're both, for substantial background reasons, facing writer's block.

    Definitely cute! There was definitely a lot going on here. I had definitely known going into this that it wasn't just a romance, and it's definitely one of those books that sort of skates the line between romance and broader "women's fiction." There's also a side plot involving learning about a suicide/death cult, so that's great. For most of the book, the juggling of plot lines worked well for me, though I felt like the ending was a little abrupt for me.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5

    Apr 10, 2022

    Beach Read by Emily Henry is a 2020 Berkley publication.

    It is officially springtime and I, for one, am beyond ready to dive into some wonderful ‘Beach Reads’. It would seem to me that a book entitled ‘Beach Read’ would be a great place to start!

    As it turns out, I made a good choice. I admit I was a little nervous about this one, as some of my peers had mixed opinions about it, but it has been on my list for a couple of years now, and the title kept calling out to me- so here we are.

    The premise is a little different. January Andrews is a romance author who inherits a beach house from her father… the house he stayed at while visiting his mistress, who still lives in the community. Awkward!

    January is suffering from writer’s block, getting a little pressure from the publishers, to cap off the misery of losing her father, finding out he wasn’t perfect, and breaking up with the guy she thought she might marry someday.

    But… wait…

    It gets better. Her neighbor happens to be Augustus Everett, a guy she’s encountered before, a guy who patronized her writing, because he writes critically acclaimed novels of literature. Turns out nothing has changed between them as they still mix like oil and water.

    They exchange barbed banter back and forth, with Gus’s antagonizing January, who is defensive about his view of her ‘happily ever after’s’.

    (I don’t write books, but I can definitely relate to January- and I can get pretty defensive too- just so you know.)

    Eventually, they make a deal of sorts- January will try writing Gus’s category of book, while he takes on writing 'something happy'- a plan designed to shake them up and cure their writing slumps. Sounds like a fair plan… right?

    Okay naysayers- legitimate question here.

    How on earth did anyone read this book and not swallow a lump in their throat the size of Texas?

    Oh, what you miss out on when you go looking for depth in all the wrong places. There is much to digest, so much to think about with these characters.

    I couldn’t be happier with this book- and thankful too- thankful I have an open mind about romance, so I could enjoy the simple pleasures of this book, along with the very deep complexities of it.

    I count myself lucky that, although I can, and often do, feel cynical and dejected- like January did- I’m also brave enough to let myself feel, to allow my heart to break, to warm, to heal, to swell, and then close a book knowing I have experienced something profoundly wonderful- a feeling no other genre can replicate.

    This was a fantastic start to my summer Beach reads! If all my beach reads are like this one- it’s going to be a great summer!

    4.5 stars

Book preview

Beach Read - Emily Henry

1

The House

I have a fatal flaw.

I like to think we all do. Or at least that makes it easier for me when I’m writing—building my heroines and heroes up around this one self-sabotaging trait, hinging everything that happens to them on a specific characteristic: the thing they learned to do to protect themselves and can’t let go of, even when it stops serving them.

Maybe, for example, you didn’t have much control over your life as a kid. So, to avoid disappointment, you learned never to ask yourself what you truly wanted. And it worked for a long time. Only now, upon realizing you didn’t get what you didn’t know you wanted, you’re barreling down the highway in a midlife-crisis-mobile with a suitcase full of cash and a man named Stan in your trunk.

Maybe your fatal flaw is that you don’t use turn signals.

Or maybe, like me, you’re a hopeless romantic. You just can’t stop telling yourself the story. The one about your own life, complete with melodramatic soundtrack and golden light lancing through car windows.

It started when I was twelve. My parents sat me down to tell me the news. Mom had gotten her first diagnosis—suspicious cells in her left breast—and she told me not to worry so many times I suspected I’d be grounded if she caught me at it. My mom was a do-er, a laugher, an optimist, not a worrier, but I could tell she was terrified, and so I was too, frozen on the couch, unsure how to say anything without making things worse.

But then my bookish homebody of a father did something unexpected. He stood and grabbed our hands—one of Mom’s, one of mine—and said, You know what we need to get these bad feelings out? We need to dance!

Our suburb had no clubs, just a mediocre steak house with a Friday night cover band, but Mom lit up like he’d just suggested taking a private jet to the Copacabana.

She wore her buttery yellow dress and some hammered metal earrings that twinkled when she moved. Dad ordered twenty-year-old Scotch for them and a Shirley Temple for me, and the three of us twirled and bobbed until we were dizzy, laughing, tripping all over. We laughed until we could barely stand, and my famously reserved father sang along to Brown Eyed Girl like the whole room wasn’t watching us.

And then, exhausted, we piled into the car and drove home through the quiet, Mom and Dad holding tight to each other’s hands between the seats, and I tipped my head against the car window and, watching the streetlights flicker across the glass, thought, It’s going to be okay. We will always be okay.

And that was the moment I realized: when the world felt dark and scary, love could whisk you off to go dancing; laughter could take some of the pain away; beauty could punch holes in your fear. I decided then that my life would be full of all three. Not just for my own benefit, but for Mom’s, and for everyone else around me.

There would be purpose. There would be beauty. There would be candlelight and Fleetwood Mac playing softly in the background.

The point is, I started telling myself a beautiful story about my life, about fate and the way things work out, and by twenty-eight years old, my story was perfect.

Perfect (cancer-free) parents who called several times a week, tipsy on wine or each other’s company. Perfect (spontaneous, multilingual, six foot three) boyfriend who worked in the ER and knew how to make coq au vin. Perfect shabby chic apartment in Queens. Perfect job writing romantic novels—inspired by perfect parents and perfect boyfriend—for Sandy Lowe Books.

Perfect life.

But it was just a story, and when one gaping plot hole appeared, the whole thing unraveled. That’s how stories work.

Now, at twenty-nine, I was miserable, broke, semi-homeless, very single, and pulling up to a gorgeous lake house whose very existence nauseated me. Grandly romanticizing my life had stopped serving me, but my fatal flaw was still riding shotgun in my dinged-up Kia Soul, narrating things as they happened:

January Andrews stared out the car window at the angry lake beating up on the dusky shore. She tried to convince herself that coming here hadn’t been a mistake.

It was definitely a mistake, but I had no better option. You didn’t turn down free lodging when you were broke.

I parked on the street and stared up at the oversized cottage’s facade, its gleaming windows and fairy tale of a porch, the shaggy beach grass dancing in the warm breeze.

I checked the address in my GPS against the handwritten one hanging from the house key. This was it, all right.

For a minute, I stalled, like maybe a world-ending asteroid would take me out before I was forced to go inside. Then I took a deep breath and got out, wrestling my overstuffed suitcase from the back seat along with the cardboard box full of gin handles.

I pushed a fistful of dark hair out of my eyes to study the cornflower blue shingles and snow-white trim. Just pretend you’re at an Airbnb.

Immediately, an imaginary Airbnb listing ran through my head: Three-bedroom, three-bath lakeside cottage brimming with charm and proof your father was an asshole and your life has been a lie.

I started up the steps cut into the grassy hillside, blood rushing through my ears like fire hoses and legs wobbling, anticipating the moment the hellmouth would open and the world would drop out from under me.

That already happened. Last year. And it didn’t kill you, so neither will this.

On the porch, every sensation in my body heightened. The tingling in my face, the twist in my stomach, the sweat prickling along my neck. I balanced the box of gin against my hip and slipped the key into the lock, a part of me hoping it would jam. That all this would turn out to be an elaborate practical joke Dad had set up for us before he died.

Or, better yet, he wasn’t actually dead. He’d jump out from behind the bushes and scream, "Gotcha! You didn’t really think I had a secret second life, did you? You couldn’t possibly think I had a second house with some woman other than your mother?"

The key turned effortlessly. The door swung inward.

The house was silent.

An ache went through me. The same one I’d felt at least once a day since I got Mom’s call about the stroke and heard her sob those words. He’s gone, Janie.

No Dad. Not here. Not anywhere. And then the second pain, the knife twisting: The father you knew never existed anyway.

I’d never really had him. Just like I’d never really had my ex Jacques or his coq au vin.

It was just a story I’d been telling myself. From now on, it was the ugly truth or nothing. I steeled myself and stepped inside.

My first thought was that the ugly truth wasn’t super ugly. My dad’s love nest had an open floor plan: a living room that spilled into a funky, blue-tiled kitchen and homey breakfast nook, the wall of windows just beyond overlooking a dark-stained deck.

If Mom had owned this place, everything would’ve been a mix of creamy, calming neutrals. The bohemian room I’d stepped into would’ve been more at home in Jacques’s and my old place than my parents’. I felt a little queasy imagining Dad here, among these things Mom never would’ve picked out: the folksy hand-painted breakfast table, the dark wooden bookshelves, the sunken couch covered in mismatched pillows.

There was no sign of the version of him that I’d known.

My phone rang in my pocket and I set the box on the granite countertop to answer the call.

Hello? It came out weak and raspy.

How is it? the voice on the other end said immediately. Is there a sex dungeon?

Shadi? I guessed. I tucked the phone between my ear and shoulder as I unscrewed the cap from one of my gin bottles, taking a swig to fortify myself.

"It honestly worries me that I’m the only person who might call you to ask that," Shadi answered.

You’re the only person who even knows about the Love Shack, I pointed out.

"I am not the only one who knows about it," Shadi argued.

Technically true. While I’d found out about my father’s secret lake house at his funeral last year, Mom had been aware much longer. Fine, I said. "You’re the only person I told about it. Anyway, give me a second. I just got here."

Literally? Shadi was breathing hard, which meant she was walking to a shift at the restaurant. Since we kept such different hours, most of our calls happened when she was on her way into work.

Metaphorically, I said. "Literally, I’ve been here for ten minutes, but I only just feel that I have arrived."

So wise, Shadi said. So deep.

Shh, I said. I’m taking it all in.

Check for the sex dungeon! Shadi hurried to say, as if I were hanging up on her.

I was not. I was simply holding the phone to my ear, holding my breath, holding my racing heart in my chest, as I scanned my father’s second life.

And there, just when I could convince myself Dad couldn’t possibly have spent time here, I spotted something framed on the wall. A clipping of a New York Times Best Sellers list from three years ago, the same one he’d positioned over the fireplace at home. There I was, at number fifteen, the bottom slot. And there, three slots above me—in a sick twist of fate—was my college rival, Gus (though now he went by Augustus, because Serious Man) and his highbrow debut novel The Revelatories. It had stayed on the list for five weeks (not that I was counting (I was absolutely counting)).

Well? Shadi prompted. What do you think?

I turned and my eyes caught on the mandala tapestry hanging over the couch.

I’m led to wonder if Dad smoked weed. I spun toward the windows at the side of the house, which aligned almost perfectly with the neighbor’s, a design flaw Mom would never have overlooked when house shopping.

But this wasn’t her house, and I could clearly see the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that lined the neighbor’s study.

Oh, God—maybe it’s a grow house, not a love shack! Shadi sounded delighted. You should’ve read the letter, January. It’s all been a misunderstanding. Your dad’s leaving you the family business. That Woman was his business partner, not his mistress.

How bad was it that I wished she were right?

Either way, I’d fully intended to read the letter. I’d just been waiting for the right time, hoping the worst of my anger would settle and those last words from Dad would be comforting. Instead, a full year had passed and the dread I felt at the thought of opening the envelope grew every day. It was so unfair, that he should get the last word and I’d have no way to reply. To scream or cry or demand more answers. Once I’d opened it, there’d be no going back. That would be it. The final goodbye.

So until further notice, the letter was living a happy, if solitary, life in the bottom of the gin box I’d brought with me from Queens.

It’s not a grow house, I told Shadi and slid open the back door to step onto the deck. Unless the weed’s in the basement.

No way, Shadi argued. That’s where the sex dungeon is.

Let’s stop talking about my depressing life, I said. What’s new with you?

You mean the Haunted Hat, Shadi said. If only she had fewer than four roommates in her shoebox apartment in Chicago, then maybe I’d be staying with her now. Not that I was capable of getting anything done when I was with Shadi. And my financial situation was too dire not to get something done. I had to finish my next book in this rent-free hell. Then maybe I could afford my own Jacques-free place.

If the Haunted Hat is what you want to talk about, I said, then yes. Spill.

Still hasn’t spoken to me. Shadi sighed wistfully. "But I can, like, sense him looking at me when we’re both in the kitchen. Because we have a connection."

"Are you at all worried that your connection isn’t with the guy who’s wearing the antique porkpie hat, but perhaps with the ghost of the hat’s original owner? What will you do if you realize you’ve fallen in love with a ghost?"

Um. Shadi thought for a minute. I guess I’d have to update my Tinder bio.

A breeze rippled off the water at the bottom of the hill, ruffling my brown waves across my shoulders, and the setting sun shot golden spears of light over everything, so bright and hot I had to squint to see the wash of oranges and reds it cast across the beach. If this were just some house I’d rented, it would be the perfect place to write the adorable love story I’d been promising Sandy Lowe Books for months.

Shadi, I realized, had been talking. More about the Haunted Hat. His name was Ricky, but we never called him that. We always spoke of Shadi’s love life in code. There was the older man who ran the amazing seafood restaurant (the Fish Lord), and then there was some guy we’d called Mark because he looked like some other, famous Mark, and now there was this new coworker, a bartender who wore a hat every day that Shadi loathed and yet could not resist.

I snapped back into the conversation as Shadi was saying, Fourth of July weekend? Can I visit then?

That’s more than a month away. I wanted to argue that I wouldn’t even be here by then, but I knew it wasn’t true. It would take me at least all summer to write a book, empty the house, and sell both, so I could (hopefully) be catapulted back into relative comfort. Not in New York, but somewhere less expensive.

I imagined Duluth was affordable. Mom would never visit me there, but we hadn’t done much visiting this past year anyway, apart from my three-day trip home for Christmas. She’d dragged me to four yoga classes, three crowded juice bars, and a Nutcracker performance starring some kid I didn’t know, like if we were alone for even a second, the topic of Dad would arise and we’d burst into flames.

All my life, my friends had been jealous of my relationship with her. How often and freely (or so I thought) we talked, how much fun we had together. Now our relationship was the world’s least competitive game of phone tag.

I’d gone from having two loving parents and a live-in boyfriend to basically just having Shadi, my much-too-long-distance best friend. The one blessing of moving from New York to North Bear Shores, Michigan, was that I was closer to her place in Chicago.

Fourth of July’s too far off, I complained. You’re only three hours away.

Yeah, and I don’t know how to drive.

Then you should probably give that license back, I said.

"Believe me, I’m waiting for it to expire. I’m going to feel so free. I hate when people think I’m able to drive just because, legally, I am."

Shadi was a terrible driver. She screamed whenever she turned left.

Besides, you know how scheduling off is in the industry. I’m lucky my boss said I could have Fourth of July. For all I know, he’s expecting a blow job now.

No way. Blow jobs are for major holidays. What you’ve got on your hands is a good old-fashioned foot job quid pro quo.

I took another sip of gin, then turned from the end of the deck and nearly yelped. On the deck ten feet to the right of mine, the back of a head of curly brown hair peeked over a lawn chair. I silently prayed the man was asleep—that I wouldn’t have to spend an entire summer next door to someone who’d heard me shout good old-fashioned foot job.

As if he’d read my mind, he sat forward and grabbed the bottle of beer from his patio table, took a swig, and sat back.

So true. I won’t even have to take my Crocs off, Shadi was saying. Anyway, I just got to work. But let me know if it’s drugs or leather in the basement.

I turned my back to the neighbor’s deck. I’m not going to check until you visit.

Rude, Shadi said.

Leverage, I said. Love you.

Love you more, she insisted and hung up.

I turned to face the curly head, half waiting for him to acknowledge me, half debating whether I was obligated to introduce myself.

I hadn’t known any of my neighbors in New York well, but this was Michigan, and from Dad’s stories about growing up in North Bear Shores, I fully expected to have to lend this man sugar at some point (note: must buy sugar).

I cleared my throat and pasted on my attempt at a neighborly smile. The man sat forward for another swig of beer, and I called across the gap, Sorry for disturbing you!

He waved one hand vaguely, then turned the page of whatever book was in his lap. What’s disturbing about foot jobs as a form of currency? he drawled in a husky, bored voice.

I grimaced as I searched for a reply—any reply. Old January would have known what to say, but my mind was as blank as it was every time I opened Microsoft Word.

Okay, so maybe I’d become a bit of a hermit this past year. Maybe I wasn’t entirely sure what I’d spent the last year doing, since it wasn’t visiting Mom and it wasn’t writing, and it wasn’t charming the socks off my neighbors.

Anyway, I called, I’m living here now.

As if he’d read my thoughts, he gave a disinterested wave and grumbled, Let me know if you need any sugar. But he managed to make it sound more like, Never speak to me again unless you notice my house is on fire, and even then, listen for sirens first.

So much for Midwestern hospitality. At least in New York, our neighbors had brought us cookies when we moved in. (They’d been gluten-free and laced with LSD, but it was the thought that counted.)

Or if you need directions to the nearest Sexual Fetish Depot, the Grump added.

Heat flared through my cheeks, a flush of embarrassment and anger. The words were out before I could reconsider: I’ll just wait for your car to pull out and follow. He laughed, a surprised, rough sound, but still didn’t deign to face me.

"Lovely to meet you," I added sharply, and turned to hurry back through the sliding glass doors to the safety of the house, where I would quite possibly have to hide all summer.

Liar, I heard him grumble before I snapped the door shut.

2

The Funeral

I wasn’t ready to look through the rest of the house, so I settled down at the table to write. As usual, the blank document stared accusingly at me, refusing to fill itself with words or characters, no matter how long I stared back.

Here’s the thing about writing Happily Ever Afters: it helps if you believe in them.

Here’s the thing about me: I did until the day of my father’s funeral.

My parents, my family, had been through so much already, and somehow we always came through it stronger, with more love and laughter than before. There was the brief separation when I was a kid and Mom started feeling like she’d lost her identity, started staring out windows like she might see herself out there living life and figure out what she needed to do next. There was the kitchen-dancing, hand-holding, and forehead-kissing that followed when Dad moved back in. There was Mom’s first cancer diagnosis and the wildly expensive celebratory dinner when she kicked its ass, eating like we were millionaires, laughing until their overpriced wine and my Italian soda sprayed from our respective noses, like we could afford to waste it, like the medical debt didn’t exist. And then the second bout of cancer and the new lease on life after the mastectomy: the pottery classes, ballroom dancing classes, yoga classes, Moroccan cooking classes that my parents filled their schedules with, like they were determined to pack as much life into as little time as possible. Long weekend trips to see me and Jacques in New York, rides on the subway during which Mom begged me to stop regaling her with stories of our pothead neighbors Sharyn and Karyn (not related; regularly slid informational Flat Earth pamphlets under our door) because she was afraid she was going to pee herself, all while Dad debunked the flat Earth theory under his breath for Jacques.

Trial. Happy ending. Tribulation. Happy ending. Chemo. Happy ending.

And then, right in the middle of the happiest ending yet, he was just gone.

I was just standing there, in the foyer of his and Mom’s Episcopalian church, in a sea of black-clad people whispering useless words, feeling like I’d sleepwalked there, barely able to recall the flight, the ride to the airport, packing. Remembering, for the millionth time in the last three days, that he was gone.

Mom had slipped into the bathroom, and I was alone when I saw her: the only woman I didn’t recognize. Dressed in a gray dress and leather sandals, a crocheted shawl tied around her shoulders and her white hair wind-tossed. She was staring right at me.

After a beat, she swept toward me, and for some reason, my stomach bottomed out. As if my body knew first that things were about to change. This stranger’s presence at Dad’s funeral was going to wrench my life off track as much as his death had.

She smiled hesitantly as she stopped in front of me. She smelled like vanilla and citrus. Hello, January. Her voice was breathy, and her fingers twirled anxiously through the fringe on her shawl. I’ve heard so much about you.

Behind her, the bathroom door swung open and Mom walked out. She stopped short, frozen with an unfamiliar expression. Recognition? Horror?

She didn’t want the two of us to talk. What did that mean?

I’m an old friend of your father’s, the woman said. "He means…meant a lot to me. I’ve known him all my life, just about. For quite some time, we were thick as thieves, and—he never shut up about you." Her laugh tried for easy, missed it by a light-year.

I’m sorry, she said, hoarse. I promised I wouldn’t cry, but…

I felt like I’d been shoved off a building, like the dropping would never end.

Old friend. That was what she said. Not lover or mistress. But I knew, from the way she was crying—some funhouse mirror version of Mom’s tears during the funeral. I recognized the look on her face as the same one I’d seen on mine this morning while I tapped concealer under my eyes. Dad’s death had irreparably broken her.

She fished something out of her pocket. An envelope with my name scrawled across it, a key resting atop it. A tab hung from the key with an address scribbled in the same unmistakable handwriting as the chicken scratch on the envelope. Dad’s.

He wanted you to have this, she said. It’s yours.

She pushed it into my palm, holding on for a second. It’s a beautiful house, right on Lake Michigan, she blurted. You’ll love it. He always said that you would. And the letter is for your birthday. You can open it then, or…whenever.

My birthday. My birthday wasn’t for another seven months. My dad would not be there for my birthday. My dad was gone.

Behind the woman, Mom unfroze, moving toward us with a murderous expression. Sonya, she hissed.

And then I knew the rest.

That while I’d been in the dark, Mom had not.

I closed the Word document, like clicking that little X in the corner would shut out the memories too. Looking for a distraction, I scrolled through my inbox to the latest email from my agent, Anya.

It had arrived two days ago, before I left New York, and I’d found increasingly ridiculous reasons for putting off opening it. Packing. Moving things into storage. Driving. Trying to drink as much water as I could while peeing. Writing, heavy on the scare quotes. Drunk. Hungry. Breathing.

Anya had a reputation for being tough, a bulldog, on the publishers’ end of things, but on the writers’ end, she was something like Miss Honey, the sweet teacher from Matilda, mashed together with a sexy witch. You always desperately wanted to please her, both because you had the sense that no one had loved and admired you so purely before and because you suspected she could sic a herd of pythons on you, if she so chose.

I drained my third gin and tonic of the night, opened the email, and read:

Helloooo, you beautiful and miraculous jellyfish, angelic artist, money-maker mine,

I know things have been SO crazy on your end, but Sandy’s writing again—really wants to know how the manuscript’s coming slash whether it will still be ready by the end of the summer. As ever, I’m more than happy to hop on the phone (or instant message, or a Pegasus’s back as need be) to help you brainstorm/hash out plot details/WHATEVER it takes to help bring more of your beautiful words and unparalleled swoon into the world! Five books in five years was a tall order for anyone (even someone with your spectacular talent), but I do believe we’ve reached a breaking point with SLB, and it’s time to grin and birth it, if at all possible.

xox,

Anya

Grin and birth it. I suspected it’d be easier to deliver a fully formed human baby out of my uterus at the end of this summer than to write and sell a new book.

I decided that if I went to sleep now, I could pop out of bed early and crank out a few thousand words. I hesitated outside the downstairs bedroom. There was no way to be sure which beds Dad and That Woman had partaken of.

I was in a funhouse of geriatric adultery. It might’ve been funny, if I hadn’t lost the ability to find anything funny in the last year spent penning rom-coms that ended with a bus driver falling asleep and the whole cast going off a cliff.

It’s SUPER interesting, I always imagined Anya saying, if I were to actually send in one of these drafts. I mean, I would read your GROCERY list and laugh-cry doing it. But it’s not a Sandy Lowe book. For now, more swoon and less doom, babycakes.

I was going to need help sleeping here. I poured myself another G&T and closed my computer. The house had gotten hot and stuffy, so I stripped to my underwear, then circled the first floor opening windows before draining my glass and flopping onto the couch.

It was even more comfortable than it looked. Damn That Woman with her beautifully eclectic tastes. It was also, I decided, too low to the ground for a man with a bad back to be climbing on and off of, which meant it was probably not used for S-E-X.

Though Dad hadn’t always had a bad back. When I was a kid, he’d take me out on the boat most weekends that he was home, and from what I’d seen, boating was 90 percent bending over to tie and untie knots and 10 percent staring into the sun, your arms thrown wide to let the wind race through your swishy jacket and—

The ache rose with a vengeance in my chest.

Those early mornings, on the man-made lake thirty minutes from our house, had always been just for the two of us, usually the morning after he got back from a trip. Sometimes I didn’t even know he was home yet. I’d just wake to my still-dark room, Dad tickling my nose, whisper-singing the Dean Martin song he’d named me for: It’s June in January, because I’m in love… I’d jolt awake, heart trilling, knowing it meant a day on the boat, the two of us.

Now I wondered if all those precious chilly mornings had been literal guilt trips, time for him to readjust to life with Mom, after a weekend with That Woman.

I should save the storytelling for my manuscript. I pushed it all out of my mind and pulled a throw pillow over my face, sleep swallowing me like a biblical whale.

When I jerked awake, the room was dark, and there was music blasting through it.

I stood and ambled, dazed and gin-fogged, toward the knife block in the kitchen. I hadn’t heard of a serial killer who began each murder by rousing the victim with R.E.M.’s Everybody Hurts but I really couldn’t rule out the possibility.

As I moved toward the kitchen, the music dimmed, and I realized it was coming from the other side of the house. From the Grump’s house.

I looked toward the glowing numbers on the stove. Twelve thirty at night, and my neighbor was blasting a song most often heard in dated dramedies wherein the protagonist walks home alone, hunched against the rain.

I stormed toward the window and thrust my upper body through it. The Grump’s windows were open too, and I could see a swath of bodies lit up in the kitchen, holding glasses and mugs and bottles, leaning lazy heads on shoulders, looping arms around necks as the whole group sang along with fervor.

It was a raging party. So apparently the Grump didn’t hate all people, just me. I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled out the window, EXCUSE ME!

I tried twice more with no response, then slammed the window closed and circled the first floor, snapping the others shut. When I was finished, it still sounded pretty much like R.E.M. was playing a concert on my coffee table.

And then, for a beautiful moment, the song stopped and the

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