Marriage and Relationships: A Conservative Christian Approach

By Richard K. Hammonds

Everyone is involved in some kind of relationship. Th e question is how do we deal with the complexities that goes with relationships especially as we deal with male/female relationships and marriage. Th is book deals with how do I know I am in the right relationship, should I get out of the relationship and how can I have a happy and enduring marriage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452098364

Richard K. Hammonds

Richard K. Hammonds is the Pastor and Founder of the Gospel Experience Church in Peoria, IL. Born and raised in Gary, IN, Pastor Hammonds graduated from West Side High School. He received a Bachelor of Science from Bradley University in Peoria, IL, a Bachelor of Practical Theology from the International College of Bible Theology in Sikeston, MO, a Master of Pastoral Counseling from the Midwest Theological Seminary in Portageville, MO and a Doctorate of Ministry from Omega Bible Institute and Seminary in Swartz, Louisiana. Pastor Hammonds worked for many years in the Illinois Department of Corrections. He was invited to the Governor's Mansion in Springfield, IL, where he received Illinois State Employees "Reach Out" award for his work in his church and the community. Pastor Hammond's heart is his ministry and through his many years as a pastor he has become known throughout the U.S. as a preacher, musician and singer.

Book preview

PREFACE

I dedicate this marriage book to my parents, Rev. Rozelle and the late Gladys Hammonds, who were married for 58 years and have raised five sons who are ministers and pastors.

We have learned through them the role of husband and wife in a marriage, the joys and pitfalls of marriage and how to endure and sustain a happy marriage. In a society that is so bent on focusing on the single life and sex in the city, it is good to know that there are yet strong abiding Christian marriages in our society.

We understand that there are many different lifestyles in today’s society that is in total contrast to traditional marriage as God originally gave to us in the book of Genesis, but I want to mainly focus on the marriage of one man and one woman.

I intend to go into depth concerning different issues that we have to contend with in marriage and issues we have to contend with before we get married.

Some topics which we will explore are such things as why men don’t commit to marriage, reasons not to be in a particular relationship, and mistakes that are made in the beginning of a relationship along with issues to contend with in marriage.

Marriage is hard work, but yet rewarding when couples are bent on expanding their love for each other and working on hurdles that they will meet head on. We have to remember that love is never a smooth road, but paving it with patience will get you there.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PREFACE

CHAPTER I

WHY MEN DON’T COMMIT

CHAPTER II

MISTAKES MADE IN THE BEGINNING OF A RELATIONSHIP

CHAPTER III

RELATIONSHIPS THAT WON’T WORK/QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR IN A MATE

CHAPTER IV

RED FLAGS IN PRE-MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS/

WAYS TO PREDICT A PROBLEM MARRIAGE

CHAPTER V

DIFFERENCES IN MALE AND FEMALE/DIFFERENCES IN SEXUALITY

CHAPTER VI

THE MARRIAGE/CONFLICTS IN MARRIAGE

CHAPTER VII

COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE/INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

CHAPTER VIII

Steps to a Successful Marriage/Rules for a Happy Marriage

CHAPTER IX

KEEPING YOUR MARRIAGE HEALTHY

BIBLIOGRAPHY

CHAPTER I

WHY MEN DON’T COMMIT

As pastor of an African-American congregation, I feel one of the greatest problems within our churches is the issue of the shortage of eligible black men for women to marry, or why is it that some men do not commit to a serious relationship or marriage. This is not just an issue concerning black men, but many men in general.

A report from the National Marriage project of Rutgers University gives ten reasons why men are reluctant to commit to marriage. Here are the reasons, and we will seek to elaborate.

1.   Men can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past. Many men today, whether they state they are Christians or not, do not always go by the biblical teaching that sex is reserved for marriage only. So, as the old adage goes, why get the whole cow when I can have the milk?

We must remember that sex is to be reserved until marriage. I see marriage as dinner and sex as our dessert. When I was growing up, my mother would call us to the dinner table to eat our meal. Many times I would ask her if I could have my dessert first. She said, No. My mother stated that if I had dessert first I would not want to eat dinner. The same is true in male and female relationships. If women give men dessert (sex) first, they will not want dinner (marriage). Celibacy seems to becoming taboo in our society, but the teaching of the Bible never changes.

Sexual purity before marriage pleases God