The Ultimate Husband
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About this ebook
How do you know if a man is a player or a keeper? How do you know if a man you are dating is a potential husband? What makes a man a dream husband? Is it his appearance, his Career, his wealth, his fame, his spiritual life, his Social life, and his talents? There are countless things that should be considered before marriage. The best things in life rarely come easily, and finding a good husband is definitely a challenge. Here are some important questions that this book address •Is it because of the pressure from your family or friends? •Is it because all of your friends are married and you are lonely? •Is it because you want to have children and you’re getting older? •Is it because a man has helped you, so you want to marry him out of gratitude or as a kindness? •Is it because you don’t want to lose him? •Is it to gain financial security? •Is it because you are pregnant with his child? •Is it to avoid the temptation of premarital sex? •Is it because other men are coming on to you? •Is it because he is the best-looking guy you have ever met? •Is it because he is intelligent, talented, famous, or from a I do believe that The Ultimate Husband book will help you to make a great decision in choosing your life partner. I strongly recommend the Ultimate wife and the Ultimate Dream Family to complete your preparation.
Richmond Donkor
Richmond Donkor is Author, songwriter, singer, self-development coach, Evangelist, Pastor, teacher, motivational speaker and philanthropist. He is the author of 3 steps to Overcome Poverty, The Call With Promise; From wretch to Riches, How to Evangelize With Confidence, The Ultimate Wife, The Ultimate Husband, The Ultimate Dream Family and Created to Lead. Richmond has been preaching, teaching, training, and planting churches in South-East Asia and currently he is the associate pastor at the Restored House Chapel Ministries in Vancouver, Canada. He enjoys reading, writing, praying, and singing praises and worship songs. Learn more about him from his website: http://www.evangelistrichmond.com.
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The Ultimate Husband - Richmond Donkor
Introduction
When I was young , I watched my younger sister behave like a mother as she played with her baby dolls. She treated each doll like a human being—feeding it, dressing it, and singing lullabies to it. This typical behavior among young girls demonstrates the natural desire most women have for a happy, stable marriage and family.
While the dream becomes a reality for some women, others struggle to achieve it. Many women have lost hope of getting married because finding the right man seems exceedingly difficult. Other women have decided they don’t want to get married because of negative relationships they’ve had or because they’ve witnessed friends and parents in difficult marriages. Our society’s high rate of divorce has turned many more off to marriage.
People often ask me why divorce has become so prevalent in our society. Although people decide to end their marriages for many different reasons, a fundamental cause of divorce is not taking the time to know each other well before marriage. Many people enter into marriage without realizing how complex marriage is.
Proper preparation is crucial. Preparing doesn’t guarantee everything will go exactly as we plan, but it gives us an awareness of potential blessings and dangers we may encounter in marriage. Preparation is crucial to everything we do in life and generally leads to a stronger performance. The reason why many relationships suffer unnecessarily is because of a poorly laid foundation. Much of the preparation that precedes today’s marriages relates to the wedding and other transitory matters unrelated to the growth and maintenance of a healthy, lasting relationship.
There are countless things that should be considered before marriage. Women frequently say they can’t find a man who will truly love and understand them. The best things in life rarely come easily, and finding a good husband is definitely a challenge. You must take the time to prepare yourself to meet the right man to become your husband—a man who will care for you throughout the rest of your life. Without good direction and proper preparation, you may end up with the wrong man and an unhappy marriage. You must also remember that both the man and the woman should be committed to building a successful family. You have a huge part to play in the success of your marriage as well.
God takes marriage seriously. He created Eve for Adam so that both of them would come together to build a loving family. Getting to know someone and experiencing the initial feelings of love is always a joy—just as it was for Adam when he first saw Eve. Falling in love is easier than staying in love, however. It is common to fall in love, but this book is about the things that will help you stay in love.
Why do you want to get married? Here are some important questions to ask yourself and answer sincerely:
Is it because of the pressure from your family or friends?
Is it because all of your friends are married and you are lonely?
Is it because you want to have children and you’re getting older?
Is it because a man has helped you, so you want to marry him out of gratitude or as a kindness?
Is it because you don’t want to lose him?
Is it to gain financial security?
Is it because you are pregnant with his child?
Is it to avoid the temptation of premarital sex?
Is it because other men are coming on to you?
Is it because he is the best-looking guy you have ever met?
Is it because he is intelligent, talented, famous, or from a respected family?
Is it because you are prepared and ready and spiritually, socially, economically, and emotionally to start a family?
Having a clear reason for wanting to get married will help you to achieve your family goals. If we look at why God created Eve for Adam, you can see that marriage has eternal value, which will never fade but will last forever. You and your future husband will undoubtedly face difficult storms in life, but that should not affect your goals for your family. If you choose a man for the wrong reason, you may never be happy. If you marry because of external pressure, rather than making your own decision, you may not enjoy married life.
You need a long-term goal for your relationship; many relationships fail without one. The primary goal to which the Bible points for a husband and a wife is to become one. This means that you and your future husband should be able to work together to build a loving home and a strong family. You should not be afraid to share your goals with the man you are dating. However, before you tell him about your goals, let him tell you his goals first to see if you can move in the same direction. Consider the important question in Amos 3:3:
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?
(NLT)
Don’t lie or pretend to be someone you are not when you meet a man. Many people build relationships on lies, which are weak foundations for successful relationships. That will hurt you and may eventually crash your relationship. As a wife, you must also be prepared to demonstrate the qualities of an ideal husband, for as Jesus said, Do to others as you would have them do to you
(Luke 6:31 NIV).
Entering into a marriage is like starting a lifelong journey. You need spiritual, emotional, psychological, physical, and material preparation. A marriage is not something to try to quit if it is not going smoothly. Remember Jesus’ words on the permanence of marriage:
"But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
(Mark 10:6–9 NKJV)
Marriage Involves a Responsibility
Man is to leave his parents and join his wife. Many couples would benefit from considering this as a two-step process. A man is told to leave everything and join you so that both of you can spend your lives together. If a man is leaving everything to join you and start a family, then you have to do the same.
To leave means to place every other relationship at a lower priority than the marriage relationship—excluding, of course, one's relationship with God. Leaving means that every activity outside of the marriage relationship must take a backseat. This includes things like business, hobbies, friends, careers, sports, and even church work. Outside of one’s relationship with God, there is no other relationship as important as the one you have with your spouse! Do you think the man you are dating is willing to leave everything to follow you and spend the rest of his life with you? To the same degree, he is literally going to be your everything.
‘To join’ means to adhere to, to stick to, to be bound together by some strong bond.
Joining isn’t an instant process. Rather, it is a lifelong pursuit. It begins at the marriage altar and continues to the deathbed. It speaks of total and absolute commitment, which is a concept that is rarely practiced in our modern society, especially when it comes to the marriage arena. The modern mind-set says, Well, I’ll try it for a while, and if it doesn't work, then I’ll just find a new mate.
That is a far cry from what God intended in the beginning!
You see, joining is not a passive endeavor. In other words, it doesn’t just happen; it the result of sustained effort. Every marriage is worth