Chocolate Cute: An Auto-Ethnography of Mellissa Mary Michelle Alexander

By Deborah M. Alexander

My name is Mellissa M. M. Alexander. And this is my
story. This book is for anyone who needs to overcome
an obstacle in their life that seems too hard.

This book is for someone who needs inspiration to
finish or start a task that looks impossible.

This book is written to show everyone who reads it,
and myselfthat God is able to do the impossible.

This book is not just for Christians/believers; but if
you come to know my Savior as I take you on the
road Hes set for me; and I have chosen to follow.

I call this my journal/bookIt is a series of Journal
writings with hindsight commentary.

This is my journey with God and my endeavor to
become all that HE wants me to be; healthy, fit, and
prosperous and OBEDIENT!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 9, 2013
• ISBN: 9781477283622

Deborah M. Alexander

My name is Mellissa M. M. Alexander. And this is my story. This book is for anyone who needs to overcome an obstacle in their life that seems too hard. This book is for someone who needs inspiration to finish or start a task that looks impossible. This book is written to show everyone who reads it, and myself—that God is able to do the impossible. This book is not just for Christians/believers; but if you come to know my Savior as I take you on the road He’s set for me; and I have chosen to follow. I call this my journal/book…It is a series of Journal writings with hindsight commentary. This is my journey with God and my endeavor to become all that HE wants me to be; healthy, fit, and prosperous and OBEDIENT!

Book preview

AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2013 by Deborah M. Alexander, D.M.; Ed. D. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 1/04/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4772-8364-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-8363-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-8362-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012920112

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Dedicated to the following:

Mall, DeVaughn, Trina, Ethan

Debra Turner

Josephine Grogan

Foreword

My name is Mellissa M. M. Alexander. And this is my story. This book is for anyone who needs to overcome an obstacle in their life that seems too hard.

This book is for someone who needs inspiration to finish or start a task that looks impossible.

This book is written to show everyone who reads it, and myself—that God is able to do the impossible. God is able to keep us if we decide to obey Him. Not half the way but with all that we have, no matter how we feel.

This book is not just for Christians/believers; but if you come to know my Savior as I take you on the road He’s set for me; and I have chosen to follow.

To God be the Glory!

I call this my journal/book… It is a series of Journal writings with hindsight commentary.

This is my journey with God and my endeavor to become all that HE wants me to be; healthy, fit, and prosperous and OBEDIENT!

My story really begins March 12—12:00 noon. However, today is March 23, 2000. I’ll explain the delay later. It’s Friday night and I’m, at House of Truth for service. This is where I’m always on Friday nights.

My Bishop has said something I must share.

In the fullness of time your blessing will come. I believe my blessing is here tonight.

It has been RAINING in my life. For 4 years and I see the sunshine peering from the clouds; I see one that looks good.

March 24-Saturday

Today has been wonderful. I started this day by making the right choices. It must have been about 9:00 and I decide to go to the gym. I did not want to do my regular routine… tread mill, bike, stair master. So I went to the step class. On the way to the gym, I got a revelation. I purchased a 1998 Nissan Sentra and since the month I bought it I was NEVER able to buckle the seat belt properly. I would put the top of the belt behind me and the lap belt across my laps. God spoke to me today and said put on the belt. I was amazed! I could buckle my seat belt! I was proud. I became more excited about fulfilling God’s will for my life.

The class was just what I needed… physically. The work out was complete. I had energy and my body enjoys the dance. After my workout; I went to weigh myself. Today March 24, 2001 weight 351 lbs. That was hard! Today I don’t feel like giving up and even if I did, I am not going to.

Sunday-March 25-4:34am

I can’t completely describe how I feel. The wool has been uncovered from my eyes and I see that my body is God’s temple. In the past I hadn’t been a good steward over the body He gave me.

NOW I AM!

It was only a week ago when I got up in the morning, my ankles might be swollen. I’d feel stiff and achy. In my throat, nose and mouth I’d feel this dry snotty mucus feeling; like I had been drinking cow’s milk all night. It would hurt to even walk down the stairs. Well… THIS MORNING… I feel no pain. My ankles are normal sized. I don’t have to spit and hack out snot and I have been down the stairs several times this morning. I’m looking forward to this week. I’m also looking forward to my weigh in on Saturday afternoon.

As I’m writing this I am sitting under a hair dryer in my room looking into my closet there are several pairs of pants, a couple of dress. I am thinking back two or three months ago and how I said to myself, I will be wearing this in three months. Now I sit with a new found confidence. Nothing can turn me back.

Now my mind is going back to yesterday. I was in my car and the air was on. There was an advertisement for 6 Flags or Great America-it was for a major theme park. Then I reflected back to the time I was in the 9th grade on a family vacation in New Jersey. I could not fit on the ride. Total embarrassment! At the end of August I’m going to fit on an amusement park ride.

August 29, 2005

4 years later. I feel like a liar.

I said some pretty deep stuff!

Oh Lord I surrender!

Yeah right!

I feel like a Failure!

It’s been…

I always knew you would come for me

And now that you’re here my whole world’s complete.

You gave me so much more.

More than I hoped for.

All of my dreams are realized.

You made me whole.

Just when I needed a friend—

Someone who would stay til the end

You came along and U made me strong.

There are no words to explain all the joy you bring.

Cause—

In you I found perfect LOVE.

That one of a kind most dream of.

I never thought it could be

but in YOU I found everything I’ll ever need.

There were some days

When I felt so alone

I would cry but now that it’s past

I know we’re gonna last.

Because we were meant to be

You ARE

You’re ALL I need—

You’ll never know what

You’ve done for me.

You opened my eyes

Now I see

I’m not the same

My whole world has changed

Cause you’re an angel in disguise

To me it’s no surprise.

In you I found…

On loving YOU is all that

I finally found

everything in YOU.

In YOU I found…

DO NOT WAVER

-Stand against temptation and receive the crown of life.

-receive the Word it is able to save your soul.

Prayers

Father

   -give me wisdom

   -on

      -how to get a job I want

      -how to put the right things on my mind?

Show me what renew means and how to keep doing that.

There were 10

There were 10

With leprosy

They asked Jesus

Please help me. Jesus

Said go!

Show yourself to the priests,

Jesus healed the 10

And one

Thanked him…

Have you been sick?

And in need

Has Jesus called you?

And did you heed

Like the 10 with leprosy

You must only believe,

But don’t forget

To thank the King

Jesus can, do anything

Have you heard?

The words we said

Who made the plants?

God

Who made the trees?

God

Who made Adam?

God

Who made Eve, God?

Who made you, God

Who made me, God?

God made everything!

God gave light to the world.

God made the sun shine in the sky.

God led His children by a pillar of fire.

God made Everything!

Cause candy couldn’t fix that one: me, my brother and Max

I’m only three feet tall, small and as cute as I wannabe. With my little coo-cu bugs and beedee beads; my roots are not in Africa but on top of my head. I’m five years under ten. I know my ABC’s—123’s and 2+2 is 4.

I am sassy and sweet—and my momma’s people tell me I’m grown. I think my older brother is jealous of me. Not that he wants to be me—but walking in my shoes is better than eating your favorite ice cream—in an air-conditioned room-while you watching yo’ friends, outside in 100 degree weather—soakin’ up the heat gettin’ blacker saying to yourself, I got some ice-cream and you can’t have none.

Everyone thinks since I’m small, I’m helpless, but I aint. I go to school now, and my teachers say I’m too much. My momma says I challenge their faith in God. I say ‘Oh pooh’ I’m only 5, how much damage can I really do.

If no one thinks they can keep me in line they are wrong my momma and daddy do a great job. I mind them, I do what they say. And that’s all that matters right? And my brother, I mind him too. But he scares me sometimes. See he thought he’d be clever. So one morning before breakfast he put salt in the sugar jar. I piled spoon full after spoon full of sugar on my cereal. After my cereal was all perfect and ready for me to eat, I spit it right back in my bowl. My brother laughed and laughed—almost ripped his side wide open from laughing. But, he felt bad when momma made me eat it all—and I was sick the whole day That’s OK though, he got some of his weekly allowance—and brought me some candy from the corner store when momma wasn’t lookin’.

My big brother was always the funny one in the family. And most everything he did to me was funny whether I laughed or not. One day, my father surprised my brother with his first puppy dog. I really didn’t want one. They would give the puppy too much attention, and all he does is poop and bark. I really didn’t want one. If I had to take a bath everyday so did he. If I had to be potty trained the dog had to be potty trained, and who was going to potty train him.

NOT ME!

I personally hated the little mutt, from the time I saw him. But I should have never told my brother I hated Max. That’s what he named his new dog, Max. My brother had his new dog for about a week, and I wouldn’t touch him. So my brother calls himself helping me, like the dog. One night after dinner, after I was in bed, and well into my sleep—I felt something wet on my cheek. I didn’t think about it. Some times momma comes and gives me kisses, before she goes to bed. I figured it would be her. Then I felt something wet trickle down my leg. Momma didn’t let me drink before I went to bed that night, so I knew I wasn’t going pee. Instead of being lazy and just laying there I decided to get up—I wiped my eyes so I could see good.—and there he was, MAX! I screamed, mommy, mommy, mommy, with tears in my eyes and Max in my bed. I was frozen with fear. Tears kept coming—and at my door was my brother trying not to laugh calling for his little Max. He really hurt me and this joke wasn’t funny. I cried for a while—momma held me and my dad had a talk with my brother. And as usual he felt bad but candy couldn’t fix this one. I hated his dog and he knew it. In the end the joke was on him because he didn’t take care of Max like he should have.

One day, the neighborhood kids got a hold to Max. They dropped him down the back stairs of somebody’s house. He didn’t die, but his two front legs were broken. My brother found him. Took him home and my father took him to the Vet and had him put to sleep. My father definitely wasn’t making a run to a corner store—

Cause candy couldn’t fix that