The High School Sex Pot: Questions from America's Teens

By Mrs. R

Did you ever wonder what your teens wanted to know about sex (without asking)? Do you need a book to jump-start your discussion of sex with your teen? Mrs. R. has been able to generate discussion in her classroom by having her students anonymously submit questions each class period that she would answer. The questions that the students submitted were blunt and honest. She attempted to answer all questions submitted, and tied the answers to the physiology of human sexuality and the maturity needed for responsible decision-making. The frank and innocent questions are contained in the book, and her candid, informative and sometimes humorous answers are captured in the pages.

The High School Sex Pot gives readers the opportunity to get inside the minds of teenagers today. Mrs. R. has compiled sex-related questions that she has anonymously received from teens over the past several years and has answered them scientifically, humorously, and with a frankness that puts adults and teens at ease about todays sexual issues. This book is a must-read for teens, parents, and educators. Everyone is bound to learn something and may come away inspired to more frankly discuss sexuality with those closest to them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 20, 2005
• ISBN: 9781463472320

Mrs. R

Mrs. R. has been teaching sex ed. for over a decade.  As a youth group minister, high school biology teacher, and college human anatomy and physiology professor, she brings a well-rounded perspective to topics that are important to teens today.   Since graduating from college with a BS in biology, she has served as a Medical Service Corps officer in the U.S. Army, volunteered as youth minister in parishes across Europe and America, taught math and science in middle school through college, earned her MS in biology, and is studying bio-defense.  She currently resides in Virginia with her loving husband of twenty-plus years.  Her two daughters are in college.

Book preview

© 2005 Mrs. R. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 04/13/05

ISBN: 1-4208-0730-7 (sc)

ISBN: 9781463472320 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

CONTENTS

Introduction:

Anatomy

Embryology

Pregnancy, Labor, and Delivery

The act or doing it

Other Sexual Expressions

Orgasms

Masturbation

Sexual Orientation

Family Planning

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Miscellaneous: Serious and Silly

Questions I would not, could not, or did not answer

Conclusion

Bibliography

About The Author

Introduction:

If you have purchased this little book, perhaps you know me in some way-teacher, friend, student, family, youth group leader, ministry, boss, subordinate, peer… whatever way, thank you. You have been begging me to share these stories for several years now, and here it is.

Maybe you were intrigued by the title, picked it up, saw what it was about, and decided it might be interesting-helpful-informative-funny-inspirational. I thank you also, and hope it is all those things to you.

Maybe you are a parent and are wondering what your child’s peers are thinking or wondering. (Don’t worry, I am sure your son or daughter did not submit any of these questions!)

Whether you are a parent, teen, youth, teacher, grandparent, or curious person, I hope that sharing what’s on the minds of America’s youth will enrich your life in some way.

A little background—I have been working with teenagers since the late 1980s. I have been a youth group leader, music minister, and teacher. I have been quite interested in the topic of human sexuality since I was in college (in the early 1980s) and took a course on the subject. I received a bachelor’s degree in biology from that institution, served in the Army Medical Service Corps, married, raised two beautiful and strong daughters, tutored the rich and famous, received my certification to teach life science and mathematics, lived all over the United States and Europe, studied for and received an Master of Science (M.S). in biology, and have taught human sexuality in the formal classrooms at the high school level (as part of the biology courses), Human Anatomy and Physiology at the college level, and mentored and counseled teenagers in my capacity as a youth group leader. I am by no means an expert. I am sharing with you, in this book, the questions from the teens and replies I have given over the past several decades.

So why call it The High School Sex Pot? Well, as I have been working with these teenagers, I always had a bucket, box, cooking pot, or flowerpot of some sort. At each lesson, everyone was required to place a card in the pot, with or without a question. The container eventually became known as the sex pot. This freed the kids to ask just about anything without me knowing who was asking the questions. After awhile, the students were so comfortable discussing issues of human sexuality that they would sign their names to the questions. Perhaps they hoped I would announce who had thought of such an interesting question, or to show off their own lurid knowledge.

There were some ground rules about what I would answer. First of all, I would answer no personal questions such as Mrs. R., How often do you… or Have you ever…" I told them that my personal sex life and experiences were none of their business. They also knew that I would reword their questions if I felt they were using lewd language. As I type these questions in this book, I have typed them as they were written, with all the spelling and grammatical errors included. I tried to group them by topic for your ease of reading. When I answered these in class, I usually just pulled them out and answered them. I would save them until the next day if I had to look something up. Most teachers review all the questions first because they are not as familiar with the subject or as comfortable discussing the topics with teens.

As I answered these questions, I had specific motives. First of all, I wanted them to become comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas. If I could not get them to discuss issues, then all of the life lessons would not be taken in and it would have been just another science class or boring lecture. You may find some of my answers inappropriate for a high school teacher. No answers were designed to titillate. Laughter and jokes were incorporated to let go some of their inhibitions about discussing (not performing) sex. Secondly, I am a scientist, and I hoped that I could help them understand how the sexual part of them ties into everything scientific we had been learning all year. It was important that they understood the science behind the topic. Thirdly and most importantly, I wanted them to recognize that as human beings, although members of the animal kingdom, we were more than just our animal urges.

We are a unique species that can think and make decisions about our sexual encounters. I always tried to bring their questions, even those that were I bet she won’t answer this questions, back to the ideals of respect for self, respect for others, and maturity, communication, and competent decision-making skills. I had hoped that if they were armed with knowledge and a strong dose of self-esteem, they would able to make mature decisions about their sexuality throughout their life. A few have told me that my lessons were powerful, and they planned to be responsible sexual partners when they were ready. Only time will tell. I have no illusions, but great faith that they will at least try to be responsible, healthy, and holy lovers as they grow older.

Also, as you read the questions, you may think the kids are really stupid, naïve, jerky, wise-cracking, etc. I tried to figure out what the student really wanted to know with each question. Even the really ridiculous questions had some basis in curiosity, or seriousness that masked their insecurity about the topic. It was my job to rephrase each question in a way that answered what they really wanted to know.

The kids were, for the most part, freshmen or sophomores in high school. In Virginia, they were freshmen in Biology and seniors in Anatomy and Physiology in a public high school. The freshmen were mostly gifted and talented kids—or at least they were in my higher-level Biology I class. However, at the end of the year, we joined with a small group of students from the special education department. The Virginia school was represented by kids who came from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, races, and creeds. Looking at my classroom was as beautiful as observing a rainbow.

In Georgia, my students were sophomores in Biology class. The school was private and the students were from privileged backgrounds. It was not as diverse as Virginia. In Kansas, the kids were most homogeneous. The community was completely rural and the kids were 99 percent white. In California, my experiences (related to this book’s topic) were limited to a small group of Catholic students studying and preparing for their confirmation. The students were also military or military retiree dependents. Their ages were freshman through senior in high school. In Germany, my experiences were also with Catholic military dependents.

I am a high school biology teacher. I have experience and some education in Human Sexuality, but I am in no way an expert. The answers and opinions expressed are my own. My main desire is to share with teenagers, their parents, and educators the things that teens want to know.

I hate to write. Getting these questions and answers down on paper was excruciating for me. I could not share this information with you (and hopefully millions) if it weren’t for some special folks who have inspired and encouraged me along the way.

To the teens who submitted these inquiries—thank you for sharing your thoughts and questions. You really are great people and I was inspired to write this book to share with the world that you are for the most part mature and responsible individuals. This world will be a better place in the future because of the decisions you make. You are trustworthy and have integrity.

To the people who listened to my stories and enjoyed them—I would not have thought to write this down if you hadn’t encouraged me that this was something that people needed to know. Thanks for laughing and letting me know that you thought I was special in my ability to relate to the kids and share my knowledge and experiences with them.

To the parents of the teens—you really have some great kids. Cherish them, and don’t be afraid to communicate with them how special sex can be. I hope you find this book informative and something to help you get the conversation going with your teen.

To the green lunchroom at SLHS—thank you for telling me that you would buy this book if I wrote it. I enjoyed our uproarious laughter and you inspired me to finally get these questions and replies down on paper.

To Rick, Jose’, and friends—thanks for sharing your perspective and ideas. I also appreciate that you investigated some of the sex slang for me.

To Dr. Salbert—thank you for answering some of the medical questions.

To my husband—thank you for encouraging me to write this. I also appreciate that you, being a quiet sort of guy, may find it disturbing to be known as the husband of the sex pot lady. Please know I love you and appreciate your support.

To my children—thanks for your support, and forgive me if this causes you any embarrassment.

To Father Corona from Holy Cross High School—thanks for helping Catholic teens realize that our sexuality is an important gift from God.

To my readers—thank you for buying this book. I need to recoup the publishing costs and would like to have some income to retire on. Please use this book to discuss important issues with your spouses, partners, children, parents, students, or friends.

Anatomy

No matter where I taught, I always introduced the course with a video called The Miracle of Life. The video is a graphic representation of the reproduction system. It follows the development and release of sperm and eggs, fertilization, implantation, development and delivery—everything that is necessary to the formation of a new human being. The end of the video shows a woman giving birth, and this is a first for all of them. It really generated quite a few questions, as you will see.

Before the video begins, the students are given a sex knowledge survey that they keep to themselves, but the questions are broad-spectrum—from when is a woman most fertile, basic anatomy, prevention of STDs and terms that are used throughout the course. The survey lets them know the types of topics we will cover.

Structure and Function of the Male

What is the average penis size?

How big is an average penis?

What is the average penis width?

Is it possible for a man to have a 9" penis?

How big is too big?

Is every guys penis either 7 or 8 inches?

Is it normal to have a small penis?

Is it normal to have a 15 inch penis?

My question is… What is the biggest a penis can get?

How big is a baby’s penis?

What is the relationship between ear size and penis length?

Does size matter?

Are men’s penis’ the same size as their feet?

As you can see, penis size must matter—to some at least. Each year, there are dozens of questions like these. They must think that I am an expert and I go around measuring, recording, and making penis graphs—since I always make them represent their data graphically.

I usually start out answering this question by asking the students to estimate how tall I am. They compare me to themselves and others in the class and usually guess that I am about five feet one inch or so (I am five-foot-two on a good day). I am definitely not on the tall side. Yes, I am below average in height. The class comes to a consensus on the fact that I am short for an adult female. I ask them if I am a normal height. And fortunately, I did not suffer from any hormonal imbalances or disorders; I ate well as a child, and am the tallest female in my generation (among my sisters). They come to the conclusion that even though I am below average in height, I am very normal. So now we have distinguished the difference between normal and average.

Getting that cleared up, I’d have a little fun. So to answer your question, I would have to say about …. this big (holding my hands about twenty inches apart). Well, the biggest things in the classroom at that point were their eyes. The girls seemed to gulp and look scared all at once. The boys, knowing that I had to be kidding, or else feeling woefully inadequate or hopeful (knowing that they were not yet full-grown), were either smirking or their jaws were on the floor. After a moment or two, I’d laugh and let the sighs of relief fill the air. I’d tell the girls (because probably half of the questions were from girls—curious), to realize how big their vaginas are. Many have used tampons, so they have a general idea of how long they are internally. Often they’d hold their thumbs and forefingers apart while thinking of this. Then I’d tell the guys, I won’t give them a number, but if they look at what the girls are showing, they will know what enough is.

I also let