Broken but Not Forsaken

By Carolyn Howard

This book is a must-read! We all have testimonies, but this testimony will keep you on your toes wondering what happens to her next. It's an awesome testimony of how God Can and His Glory. When life takes a crash, this book will help you go through and persevere in hard, tough times. When everyone seems to be gone, turn their backs, their spouse walks out the door and you lose everything you own; even down to the place in which you live. It's like a glass that falls to the ground and shatters and you don't know where you begin to pick up first. This book is for Pastors, Pastor's wives, men and women alike. Don't give up! Keep pushing and if you have fallen, get back up! Don't allow the enemy to keep you down. GOD IS A RESTORER. HALLELUJAH!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456742379

Carolyn Howard

Carolyn Howard is the Founder and President of Mt. Carmel International Church, where she is Pastoring in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. God has graced her with a strong apostolic call upon her life. She is a highly sought-after speaker. God has graced her with an authentic prophetic anointing. She is a business woman in the clothing industry. She has changed many lives as she spoke into the hearts of God’s people. She has an awesome turn around ministry. She has seen lives changed before her very eyes.

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© 2011 by Carolyn Howard. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 05/20/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-4236-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-4237-9 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011908097

Printed in the United States of America

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Contents

Foreword

First Year of Ministry

The Wilderness Experience

The Darkest Hour of My Life

August 3, 2009

Foreword

I had to endure many experiences for the Gospel’s sake.

Before reading this book, I want to say that my life was predestined before the foundation of this world. God spoke and I became who he spoke—the life that I lived as well as what I had to go through. While I was going through it, it brought forth a lot of pain, travail, and growth, but I’ve gone through this dark tunnel that I call trials, tribulations, and woes. I appreciate my life much more than before.

The birthing pains brought forth God’s church. I am pastor of Mount Carmel International. Through the pain of life, I am watching people’s lives being changed from glory to glory; people who thought that they would never be anybody are taking a stand for their lives. I have many children in the Gospel now—I thank my God for chastening me as well as exalting me above what I feel and see. Don’t get sad at what you read. Rejoice with me. God is giving me back my life seven times over.

Rejoice! Hallelujah!

I worked for the health system doing accounts payable for eight years. I had a beautiful home, a brand-new car, and beautiful clothes. I kept myself up to where people did not understand how I could look so nice and maintain a house and car. Even my neighbors asked me how I did it. I dated for a long time to the point where I was in a relationship for eight years. Life was passing by without any signs of marriage; it was time to move on. I was married before; I have two beautiful girls who are grown and married. I was divorced from my first husband of twenty-two years.

A man came into my life. I met him through a friend. I called him because I had a dream about him. We laughed about our conversation, but there was something about him. First of all, he had a radio voice and was tall, dark, and handsome. It was a good conversation. I remember telling God that he had such wisdom for a young man. He was somebody I didn’t mind listening to. After dating for a while and attending church, one night he decided to wake me out my sleep. He told me to get dressed, drove me to this building where the top floor was overlooking the city. What a beautiful view. The strange thing was that the workers were working, but no one else was there. The food was good and the atmosphere was set.

My husband got on his knees and proposed. I was just sitting there and couldn’t move; it was as if I didn’t have any feeling. He pulled out a beautiful ring and put it on my finger. I was engaged to be married, but I still couldn’t believe it. When I got home, my daughter was excited. She couldn’t wait to see the ring, but she had known all the time. We planned our wedding. You talk about crazy—the family was off the hook. I didn’t know why some people look at me and instantly don’t like me. We went through the family thing.

Finally, on our wedding day, my brother—who was supposed to walk me down the aisle—never called me to tell me he was not coming. My stepmother, Brothers, and sisters, also didn’t show. I had to call my uncle to walk me down the aisle. He was honored. There was so much tension on my wedding day, but all I could do was smile. That was God’s glory. We had a beautiful honeymoon. My husband really put that together. Jamaica was awesome! It’s time to come home. I believe in my heart that the devil said, Okay, now I can destroy her. There are a multitude of people attached to her, and if I allow her to go on, they are going to be healed and made free. It was like when I put my foot on US soil, he said, Let me at both of them. I want to destroy them. Oh, boy, was it on.

While back to work one day, I was sitting at my desk. I went to get up and was in so much pain. I made it home, and my husband took me to the doctor. I was pregnant in my tubes. Who would have thought? Me, pregnant. They told my husband I needed surgery. I was done. They rolled me in, prepped me for surgery, told my husband to wait, and put a tube in my nose. When I came out, I saw my husband’s face. I had lost the baby. They took me upstairs for recovery. All of sudden, my husband said, What’s going on? She needs oxygen. She’s getting worse. I believe by this time he was praying. Finally, they got it under control and told him that he could take me home. I went home to rest. They didn’t tell me that my hair was going to fall out. I was a wreck. I stayed home for a week before I went back to work. I knew in my heart that I was going to retire from that job. My husband—to this day—tells me, "You never told