The Blessed and the Damned: A Story of Survival

By Ed Rhymer

Surrounded by violence, prostitution and alcoholic abuse, the familys options were very limited. The author explains their experiences with a philosophical view. How he and his brothers faced their circumstances and their efforts in finding ways to get by. With occasional concerns of others and the One upstairs, they managed to survive and avoid becoming victims of the unfavorable influences that were all around them.

You will often hear of individual hardship situations. Poverty and hunger, mistreatment and abuse are evident in all walks of life. The author makes the experiences of his family vivid to even the most unbelieving reader. Battered by continual family hostilities, from a father guilty of rampant sexual appetites and alcoholic abuse, to a mother who sought any means to provide for the family in the early years, they were ultimately abandoned by their parents.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 19, 2007
• ISBN: 9781467821193

Ed Rhymer

The practice or habit, if you will, of thinking rapidly to converse intelligently, often leaves too much unsaid. Perhaps the author’s voice is best shown through his writings. That is the intention and hopefully the reader would desire to understand and think, before throwing the book upon the bonfire. After all, experience is the best teacher. And experience begins with learning. Every family has a history. Trusting in your faith, each one of us is required to dedicate ourselves, to the best outcome possible, for the benefit of each member of our family. It is the duty of each family member to protect and preserve the best of each generation as a guide for the future. That is the only way to protect your family and our society from the worst efforts of the dissenters.

Book preview

Contents

Section I   

The Beginning

Chapter 1   

Everything Starts Somewhere

Chapter 2   

Poor Judgments

Chapter 3   

Contradictions and Confusions

Chapter 4   

Getting A Grip On Life

Chapter 5   

Taking The Plunge

Chapter 6   

A Good Try

Chapter 7   

LifeSavers

Chapter 8   

Tragedy – The Great Divide

Chapter 9   

Almost Good-by

Section II   

The Interim

Chapter 1   

Fun In The Sun

Chapter 2   

On The Move Again

Section III   

One More Time

Chapter 1   

The Threats Begin

Chapter 2   

Push and Shove

Section IV   

The Big Collapse

Chapter 1   

A Wasted Effort

Chapter 2   

The Truth Be Told

Chapter 3   

The Bottom Really Gave Way

Chapter 4   

On Our Own For Good

Chapter 5   

Too Many Struggles

Section V   

The Plan – The Plot – The Backfire

Chapter 1   

Whispers, Promises and Threats

Chapter 2   

The Family Splits

Chapter 3   

Into The Unknown

Chapter 4   

Is Revenge Really Sweet?

Chapter 5   

The Gathering

Chapter 6   

True Intentions

Chapter 7   

Fiascos All Around

Chapter 8   

Up From The Ashes

Section VI   

Prelude To The Big Show

Chapter 1   

The Contradictions Of It All

Chapter 2   

A Whole Different World

Chapter 3   

Hell’s Playground

Chapter 4   

It’s Always About People and Money

Chapter 5   

At Home In The Cat House

Chapter 6   

Comfy and Cozy

Chapter 7   

Why?

Chapter 8   

The Best Room In The House

Chapter 9   

Same Old Patterns

Chapter 10   

Keeper Of The Gate / Keys To The Kingdom

Chapter 11   

Previews Of Coming Attractions

Chapter 12   

The Drifter Comes

Chapter 13   

The Drifter Goes

Chapter 14   

The Money Games

Chapter 15   

Tragedies and Rumbles

Chapter 16   

Responsibility

Chapter 17   

A Force For Change

Section VII   

The Big Show

Chapter 1   

Setting The Stage

Chapter 2   

Changes Of Pace

Chapter 3   

Free Wheeling

Chapter 4   

Going Around In Circles

Chapter 5   

The Calm Before The Storm

Chapter 6   

Friends – Paving The Way

Chapter 7   

They Proved Their Worth

Section VIII   

The Last Hurrah

Chapter 1   

The Slippery Slope

Chapter 2   

Just A Matter Of Time

Chapter 3   

The Last Gasp

Chapter 4   

The Knock On The Door

Chapter 5   

Here We Go Again

Chapter 6   

Contemplating The Future

Chapter 7   

Into The Sunset

Epilogue   

Thoughts

Prologue   

The primary basis for this effort is to share with our families much of which they are unaware. Secondly and equally important is to tell the story of life under difficult circumstances, not just in a depression era or during war times, but even in everyday life. Nor just in particular towns or cities, or in the states of the south, but which can be found among the people and families in much of this country.

Perhaps things can be learned from the experiences related in this story. If so, those in need or those living on the precipice of moral or financial difficulties may find their thoughts stimulated. Then, perhaps they can see new ways to find stability in their lives and seek a new path to a better and brighter future, for themselves and their families.

More importantly, it is hoped an incentive will be found, to encourage a more dedicated effort among those with the resources, to work towards alleviating hardships and suffering everywhere. There are far too many individuals and so-called charitable organizations and even religious institutions, which are only vocal regarding their efforts in helping those less fortunate. Our governments are equally lax in their concerns and responses.

If there is a more plausible explanation why anyone would spend hours and hours staring at a computer screen, typing away, perhaps it should be left to the judgment of the individual reader.

Introduction   

Today’s world allows justification, for virtually anything one may desire to say or do, without concern for the interests of others. Subscribing to the rationale, of thinking and existing in this manner, is not my favored approach to daily living. It is much more preferable, to have a reasonably legitimate reason, for our actions. Except those that are spontaneously pleasurable. Of course, this is a rationale in itself and is subject to the individual preference. It may even seem to some that these two thoughts contradict one another. As you read further you may find they are mutually compatible. Nevertheless, there is always a better way and it is my hope and prayer you will see this applies to all aspects of life.

My thoughts were very diverse, with a great deal of reservation, concerning writing this story. It covers a significant period in the lives of my brothers and me. Written as I perceived our surroundings and understood the events. My talents are not necessarily consistent, with those in textbooks on writing techniques, or instructor’s classroom outlines on procedures. Therefore, if patience is allowed you may actually enjoy these recollections, observations and more than a few, revelations.

Much of my life has been spent running from rather than toward experiencing life. Interaction with others remains difficult for me. In the process, the ability to circumvent and avoid situations became fairly well developed. I knew it would be challenging, to put our story together, in a cohesive way. Most of all, dredging up the sad and unpleasant experiences of the past did not appeal to me, not to mention the heavy guilt feelings, some of which remain with me to this day. My brothers are even reluctant to discuss the past and at times I felt this effort was actually taking me to the edge of insanity.

You may find much in these pages that seems to have been around for ages and in many cases far before my time. After all, everyone has experiences, many good and sometimes bad. You may also find a few new, refreshing analyses of the truths, of the drama of human existence and the characteristics of personal relationships. Now, don’t let this fool you. Not only is this intended for each one of you, who search for individual identity, it is also intended for those who attempt, to think for us and dictate our behavior.

There are those who will find fault, with what is written here, before the ink is dry. Critics are very plentiful and many others, who seem determined to find fault and denigrate those, who appear to threaten their position in any manner. It is truly sad. Some feel it is their birthright to criticize and that this right existed prior to the written word. How foolish they are. Unfortunately, today’s society encourages negative thinking and critical expression. Some even earn substantial incomes with their endeavors.

Certainly there is a place for what is commonly referred to as constructive analysis. The preferable forum is a classroom, teaching or instructive environment. In an atmosphere of this type, a subject may be examined, researched, studied and as a result, positive learning experiences will develop. If this approach would be encouraged, it could go a long way toward reducing the negative thinking and eager to criticize attitudes so prevalent today.

Now, I am not so naïve as to believe I have all the answers. And you are not necessarily going to find answers in reading these pages. Society should be challenged to redirect its’ focus. With this in mind, it is hoped this effort will grasp the reader’s attention. Perhaps then, re-examination will occur and the reader will come to the realization that change is not difficult. It requires only a desire and proper utilization of the free will, with which we were all born.

Dedication   

This has truly been a lifelong process. There are many individuals who must and should be thanked, for their invaluable encouragement and assistance, in the creation and preparation of this work. An effort to name each one of them will surely risk offending someone, if his or her name is not included. However, special thanks must be given to our Mother and Father. Theirs’ was a very unique struggle, especially during the times and under the conditions, in which we were raised. Even so, there were many very memorable and exciting experiences. Big Mama (Daddy’s mother) would revel in special recognition, so she deserves her share, for the indelible gift she had, of making sure she was remembered. There is my sister Edwina, a sweet beautiful girl, who left this world entirely too soon. Each one of my brothers, Eudon, Earl and Frankie, who are still surviving the past, is very special in my life’s experiences. As a result, they have made a huge contribution to this effort. Credit must also be given to the other distant kinfolk and foster parents. Of course, the several stepfathers and stepmothers all had their place in our lives. There are also those who came and went, without an official capacity.

Not only credit, but gratitude as well, to our Mom, Nell. She truly loved and supported us and did all she could to stabilize our family and help us step into life on our own. She treated us as if we were her own sons and she still considers us as such, to this day.

Then there was Hazel. What she means in my life remains to this day and cannot be measured. She continually reminded me that anything was possible and that she knew I could accomplish anything I set out to do.

My late wife, Virginia, filled my life with love and happiness. She made life worth living and made the past worth remembering. Our six sons, their wives and our marvelous grandchildren have all been a tremendous encouragement to me.

There are always those special loves in one’s life. Some are only there for a brief time. Some remain and linger long. Very special appreciation must be extended to Helen for continuing to encourage and yes, push me in this effort, to the point of insistence at times. I seriously doubt it would have been completed, without her love and support.

A special thanks to Jim Cannon, whose love of Phenix City, nostalgia for the past and his collection of historical photographs were truly a blessing.

If anyone has been overlooked, please accept my apology. You know I am well aware of your contributions. While reading, you may even recognize something of yourself, among the characters.

Disclaimer   

My purpose has been to explain the reality of life in our society, the daily existence of many people and the resulting human relationships. In relating this story, it may seem critical and complaining and occasionally tend to leave an overall negative image, although that is definitely not my intention. It is meant to convey a positive and somewhat philosophical view, of the side of life, which is overlooked and neglected far too often.

Individuals cited in this effort are very real. The experiences and situations actually occurred. There are no fabrications. There was little need to embellish. Just look around you each day and you know this is true. Only a few of the names and locations have been changed, in an effort to avoid offending anyone. It was also my desire, to protect those innocent individuals from possible retributions or being ostracized.

The Blessed

and The Damned

A Story Of Survival

Section I   

The Beginning

Chapter 1   

Everything Starts Somewhere

Our father was sent to Nashville, Tennessee, in the fall of 1929, to attend high school at Trevecca College. Edwin, Daddy as we always called him, was an only child and had just turned 16, in August of that year. Our grandmother, whom we called Big Mama, was concerned about his maturity. Daddy had begun to resist her authoritarian control of his life. She felt he was growing up too much and too fast in the Columbus, Georgia public school system.

Trevecca was a high school and college of the Nazarene Church. Big Mama felt attending Trevecca would encourage him to remain, in the strict way of life, in which he had been raised. Big Mama solicited sponsorships from George C. Woodruff and Reverend Huff in Columbus. They also assisted with financial support early on, however this was discontinued after a short while. From time to time, she was also able to solicit contributions from other individuals.

This was Daddy’s first time away from home and his mother’s direct control. Big Mama was a very assertive, domineering and controlling individual. She had also allowed herself to be heavily influenced by her lifelong friend, Margaret Sanders. Maggie, as Daddy referred to her, was a very rigid and restrictive individual. Daddy often said, Maggie was the main reason he was sent to Trevecca.

Big Mama, Ms. Sanders and subsequently their children all attended First Church of The Nazarene in Columbus. The teachings of the Nazarene Church were very strict. Of course, as with any faith, depending upon how it is presented and how you choose to be guided, determines how restrictive it is on your life.

It has been my feeling for many years that pastors, predominately preach and teach in a negative and intimidating manner. The message of religion is so simple and positive it is difficult to understand why ministers choose to follow such a threatening and fearful path in their approach. The only conclusion that seems evident to me is they choose and are trained, to take this path. It appears this approach allows them to set and helps to maintain an element of control over their followers, thereby perpetuating the church and their position. A truly mind bending approach.

This carried over to Big Mama and Ms. Sanders. It was often said, they were there every time the doors of the Church were opened. They were both very restrictive and intolerant, of any degree of pleasure and happiness, in those around them. Ms. Sanders daughter, Hazel, a childhood playmate and schoolmate of Daddy’s, was later to become a foster mother to me. She explained to me that she felt her mother and the Church primarily contributed to Big Mama developing this nature. This also confirmed Daddy’s view.

Chapter 2   

Poor Judgments

Florence E. Clayton (Big Mama) was born August 9, 1894, near Sylvester, Georgia. Jacob T. Rhymer (Jake) was born August 28, 1892, near Lenoir, North Carolina. Big Mama and J. T. were married Sept. 22, 1912, in Columbus, Georgia. They moved into a mill house (also known as a shot-gun) at 2510 Second Ave. Daddy was born Aug. 9, the following year.

Our grandfather was an electrician by trade and while working on the Kress store in downtown Columbus, Ms. Sanders happened to see a lady kiss him on the cheek. She made a big thing out of it, without learning the story and told Big Mama, indicating J.T. was involved with another woman. Of course, this was completely untrue. Nevertheless, Big Mama jumped to the same conclusion and put J.T. out of the house. Shortly after, he enlisted in the Army and served in Europe, during World War I. Big Mama later learned that J.T. had performed an electrical job on the side, for the lady. She was appreciative and simply kissed him on the cheek. There was no evidence of anything else being involved.

From all I have learned over the years and later personally experienced, Daddy was fairly accurate in his evaluation, of Ms. Sanders’ personality and forcefulness.

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Big Mama and Daddy

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J. T.

Big Mama wrote to our grandfather concerning their separation and referred vaguely to what she had learned about the incident, without coming right out and apologizing. J. T. responded to her letter and asked forgiveness when she should have been seeking forgiveness from him. They continued their correspondence and when J.T. was discharged from the Army, he returned to Columbus. Big Mama and J.T. reunited and remained together for a few years.

The Church’s and Ms. Sanders strong influences continued. Big Mama was spending more time at Church than at home and always took Daddy along with her. It reached a point where J.T. simply could no longer tolerate these attitudes and influences on his family life. He returned to his home in North Carolina and subsequently obtained a divorce. J.T. later remarried and fathered a very large family. Big Mama moved into a smaller house next door, at 2508 Second Ave. Remaining in the same neighborhood was convenient. They were only a block from Daddy’s school and two blocks from the textile mill where Big Mama worked. She held herself out for years as being a widow, which was somewhat consistent with her religious thinking. Big Mama never remarried.

Chapter 3   

Contradictions and Confusions

Daddy’s youth was so possessed by his mother he had very few friends and little playtime. He spent after school hours in required Bible reading, memorization and constant preaching by his mother. This brainwashing and that is exactly what it is, was terribly oppressive. It went well beyond what would be considered normal teaching and training of a child.

In Daddy’s teen years, he began to develop other interests, resisting his mother’s control and spent a lot of time with friends and the Ogle family. The Ogles had two teenage daughters and a son, who were