Open Up and Get Unstuck: The Gateway to Living Your Best Life, Your Whole Life

By Diane Martinez

In "Open Up and Get Unstuck," author Diane Martinez invites readers on a profound journey of self-discovery, challenging the notion that personal growth ends in adulthood. This enriching guide explores how entrenched thinking and living patterns can restrict us, and offers tools for leaning into our authentic desires and life callings. Martinez emphasizes that growth isn't about dramatic overhauls or drastic actions, but rather about taking small, manageable steps towards what our hearts truly desire.

The book presents a gentle call to dance with life, to experiment and experience the joys and challenges that come with stepping outside our comfort zones. It encourages readers to consider their true selves, their aspirations, and the deeply satisfying rewards of leading an authentic life. "Open Up and Get Unstuck" is more than just a self-help guide—it's a loving invitation to unlock personal potential, to revel in the journey of life and to find enduring satisfaction in being true to oneself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Sep 8, 2023
• ISBN: 9798350908862

Book preview

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© 2023 Diane Martinez All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN 979-8-35090-885-5 eBook 979-8-35090-886-2

This book is dedicated to the loving memory of my mother, Esther Nicholas, who always believed in me and taught me to believe in myself.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

I Didn’t Even Know I Was Closed

Chapter 2

What Does it Mean to be Open?

Chapter 3

Don’t Plant Your Flag

Chapter 4

The Foundation We Build Upon

Chapter 5

Cultivating an Open Channel

Chapter 6

Lessons from Hollywood

Chapter 7

Kick the Buckets

Chapter 8

What if Something Goes Wrong?

Chapter 9

The Rubber Meets the Road

Chapter 10

Questions Over Answers

Introduction

Brick walls are no fun to hit, but they can be incredibly effective at forcing us to pause, step or even fall back and really assess where we are, what we’re doing, and where we want to go.

My brick wall came in the form of the end of a 26-year marriage. Deep unhappiness that had not been adequately addressed erupted one Saturday morning as I blurted out to my husband, "I’ve got to leave. I can’t be here anymore!" I packed a suitcase, did a two-minute internet search for a place to stay, got in my car, and left our beautiful home in the suburbs. It was absolutely the boldest, bravest thing I had ever done, and it proved to be the dramatic beginning of a new life for me.

But transitions in life are seldom smooth or easy, whether we’re talking about transition during childbirth, the transition from childhood into adolescence, or the shift from college student to full-fledged adult. My transition from my marriage to being on my own was no different. For the first time in my life, I found myself alone, and after living with others my entire life, that, in itself, was a huge adjustment. Well, I wasn’t totally alone. My rambling thoughts and fears were my constant companions in my tiny one-bedroom furnished apartment.

The journey that began that spring day in 2008 broke my mind wide open. Everything I had imagined the future would be had dramatically changed. Divorce had never been in my plans or even on my radar. Huge questions began bubbling up that demanded answers. Besides the ever-present, Now what? I had deeper questions to wrestle with. Who am I now? I wondered. I had upended the lives of my three children, the three people in the world who were dearest to me.

How could I make peace with that? How was I going to craft a new life for myself? How would I do my taxes?

A wide spectrum of emotions colored the first two years I spent on my own—from timid excitement to loneliness to guilt to humility to crushing overwhelm. Looking back now, I see that although I was scared, I was also open to the experience of living my truth, however awkward it felt or however wrong it looked to others. In those initial dark weeks and months, that openness blessed me and led me to discover a depth and breadth to life that had been invisible to me up to that point.

In the deep spiritual journey that began with my separation, and through all the lessons I’ve been presented with in life, I have come to understand that being open is one of the very best things we can be. When we’re open, possibilities bloom before us and our potential expands in incredible and often breathtaking ways. What ways, you might wonder? We don’t know—and that’s the beauty of being open.

Unlike planning a trip—when we choose a destination, plot a route, select points of interest to visit, and plan excursions—being open doesn’t have a defined route or outcome. If it did, it wouldn’t be openness; it would be planning. Openness, on the other hand, is an invitation, a beckoning of our hearts to trust the process and the journey. It’s the Universe asking us to dance, to take that first step, however timid it might be, to live in an open-minded and open-hearted way.

What about you? Was there a specific event that led you to pick up this book? Was it the end of a relationship, a job, or a diagnosis? Or perhaps you’ve gradually become aware of a thread of discontentment running through your daily activities. Perhaps nothing is horribly wrong, but you sense—you know—there is more to life than just meeting obligations and making sure everyone in your life is happy and has clean underwear.

Most of my life-coaching clients complain of feeling stuck. They know change is needed on some level, but they don’t know where to begin. Does that sound familiar?

~~~

Whatever reason brought you to read this book, I’m deeply grateful to have you join me in a journey of opening. It is my intention that these words inspire you to examine areas of your life where opening up could pave the way to a much more fulfilling and joyful life experience.

As you read, you’ll find exercises and practices at the end of each chapter to help you open up more. These practices provide pathways to getting unstuck and include specific action steps to help you adopt an open state within yourself. While I hope you explore all of the offerings that foster living in an open way, you are also welcome to simply do the ones that appeal to you most and come back to the other ones at another time.

At the back of the book, you’ll also find a Resources section with websites, books, and other tools to assist you on your path to opening.

Ready? Let’s go.

Chapter 1

I Didn’t Even Know I Was Closed

Those who can’t change their minds can’t change anything.

~ George Bernard Shaw

It’s funny how the very things we’ve been taught to hold as absolute truth can turn into shackles around our necks and ankles, keeping us stuck. What might have once been an anchor for us, keeping us steady in a tumultuous world, can turn into dead weight that holds us in place, unable to set out on the high seas of living full and fulfilling lives.

I remember sitting in a Lutheran church one Sunday morning in Indianapolis in the early 1980s, listening to the pastor as he remarked in a sermon, We were so open-minded that our brains fell out, he said. Many of us in the congregation laughed out loud, including me. His words seemed so witty and insightful, but they were also cautionary. After all, who wants to have their brains fall out?! It’s best to be safe and hold fast to everything we’ve been told is true, he implied. Question nothing, was the message.

Being closed seems to bring with it a