How to Be a Better Man in 21 Days or Less!

By Darryl Scriven

Being better is about doing better. Doing better is about forming better habits. And better habits are a product of being in a better environment. As children we inherited our environment, good or bad, and we can still see some of the ways we were shaped by it. But now we are in a position to create our own environment. No matter your circumstances. Your environment will respond to your inner life and to your habits. What you think determines what you do, and what you do determines who you are!

There are only a few differences between the rich man and the poor man who dreams of being rich. Read this book and find out what they are!

THIS IS GREAT GIFT FOR MEN OF ALL AGES!

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Dec 13, 2007
• ISBN: 9780595602513

Darryl Scriven

Darryl Scriven is a graduate of FAMU and earned a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Purdue University. Along with his wife, he is co-founder of the African American Family Enrichment Institute and delivers empowerment seminars to churches, universities, and other civic organizations on various topics. Dr. Scriven lives in Atlanta with his family and can be reached at www.enrichyourfamily.org.

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Copyright © 2012 by Darryl Scriven

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ISBN: 978-0-59548-156-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-0-595-60251-3 (eb)

iUniverse rev. date:10/11/2012

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

ACTION ITEM #1: Go To Bed Earlier!

ACTION ITEM #2: Wake Up Earlier!

ACTION ITEM #3: 21 Minutes of Silent Prayer or Meditation

ACTION ITEM #4: Create Visible Affirmations

ACTION ITEM #5: Do And Say One Nice Thing

ACTION ITEM #6: Write Down Your Goals Daily

ACTION ITEM #7: 21 Minutes of Light Exercise

ACTION ITEM #8: Try Something New

ACTION ITEM #9: Think For 3 Seconds Before You Speak

ACTION ITEM #10: Listen To One Short Audio Book

ACTION ITEM #11: Display A Positive Attitude

ACTION ITEM #12: Write One Letter

ACTION ITEM #13: Think About The Message In The Music

ACTION ITEM #14: Share One Helpful Piece Of Information

ACTION ITEM #15: Give Away Something Tangible

ACTION ITEM #16: Give A Man A Compliment

ACTION ITEM #17: Invest In Yourself

ACTION ITEM #18: Eat Smarter

ACTION ITEM #19: Totally Focus On That Special Lady For 21 Minutes

ACTION ITEM #20: Forgive Someone That Hurt You

ACTION ITEM #21: Help Another Man To Be Better

To Willie T. Lee, Sr.

One of the Best Men I Have Ever Known

INTRODUCTION

HAVE YOU EVER wondered why some guys seem to get all the attention? Have all the money? Get all the girls? Have all the fun? Have a nice family? Nice wife? Great life? If you have, you’re not the first and you definitely won’t be the last. Trust me. These are the things that most men want and spend their lives trying to get. But male socialization tells us not to ask for directions because, in our minds, part of being a man is to ‘do it on our own’. So, instead of looking for and asking for help, we try to figure it out by ourselves. So what happens? Well, we usually end up piecing together something that looks like a great life on the outside (cars, houses, jobs, beautiful women) but not realizing that what holds these things together is who we are on the inside.

People ask me all the time what my secret is. Both men and women regularly pull me aside and say, Why are you so happy? or You’re walking around like you’re the King of the World. And most days, that’s exactly how I feel. Sure my finances are increasing and I’m living my dream, I have a stunningly intelligent, beautiful, and happy wife, I have three amazingly gifted and independent children, and a picturesque home. But people asked me the same questions when I lived in a shotgun house between two government housing projects. For those who’ve never heard that term before, it’s called a shotgun house because all the rooms are to one side with a hallway leading from the front door all the way to the back. So if you took a shotgun, you could shoot from the front door straight out the back door and not hit a thing!

I believe living in that old shotgun house the first 17 years of my life helped make me a better man because I can appreciate what I’ve been blessed to receive. But poverty doesn’t make a man better. Neither does money. Religion makes some men better. And some men use religion to abuse other people. Education makes some men better. Still others use education to put the next man down. Money, religion, and education are designed to enhance your life. However, for all these things to work, you need a basic and practical system in place that prepares you to maximize your potential. That system is what I bring to the table.

Being better is about doing better. Doing better is about forming better habits. And better habits are a product of being in a better environment. As children we inherited our environment, good or bad, and we can still see some of the ways we were shaped by it. But now we are in a position to create our own environment. No matter your circumstances. Your environment will respond to your inner life and to your habits. What you think determines what you do, and what you do determines who you are.

When people meet me and learn that I taught Philosophy, they often want some deep answer to a very broad question. I believe the answers are simple—so simple in fact that when we hear them, most of the time we reject them. There are only a few differences between the rich man and the poor man who dreams of being rich. I am willing to bet you that if they started in the same place with the same abilities and opportunities, the only meaningful differences between them would be their daily habits. Over time, your daily habits become your life. Learn better daily habits, become a better man.

What I am about to share with you is a product of learning and life experience. What good is information if it’s not shared? One of the things that makes my life relevant is to share what I know with you. These are practical Action Items to be done everyday, in order, adding one item each day to your list. So on the first day, you do Action Item #1. On the second day, you do Action Items #1 & #2. And so on until you get to day 21 and have added all 21 Action Items to your life. Sounds like a lot, but you can do it.

Make no mistake. There will be days when you say to yourself, This is a waste of my time. Why am I doing this? I’ve got better things to do. Do you know who that is? That’s the guy you’ve been for so long fighting against the better man you’re becoming. You’ve got to expect that and know he’s going to talk to you. What do you do? Talk back to him. Tell him, Bon Voyage…Arrivederci…Sayonara…and Hasta La Vista, Baby! Distractions will arise. Your lady or kids or job or circumstances will make it seem impossible to get through these 21 days. Expect it and welcome the challenge. Be cool, focused, and only talk to people about what you’re doing that you KNOW support you 100%. Keep it positive man, positive. And you know it will seem like you won’t have time to do any of this stuff, right? Just trust me. Follow the steps and you will have more time in your day, not less. I know you’re up for it or you wouldn’t even be reading this book.

I said 21 days or less because the truth is that these things can change your life in just 1 day. 21 days is the timeframe usually needed to form a habit. But the moment you embrace any one of these action items, YOU WILL BE A BETTER MAN. The more you embrace, the better you will become. It’s that simple. But, everything simple is not easy. With that being said, this will require some accountability. So let’s take care of that now:

I agree to focus and dedicate myself to the things