Quality Time for Dad: A Parenting Guide for the Single Father
()
About this ebook
Quality Time for Dad is written
for the single father but can be appreciated by the single mother! In Quality
Time for Dad, most of the questions a single father may WANT to ask, but never
did, can be answered right here! In simple, to the point format.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Everything from fevers to food, and more is
included in this simple to read book! Find out how to avoid becoming a Disneyland
Dad, find a babysitter, avoid angry exchanges, set up
your home for the various age groups and MORE!! If you plan on having your children
following a divorce for any length of time, Quality Time for Dad is a must!!
Janice M. Todd
In the mid 1980's Janice, along with her ex-husband, started Dads Against The Discriminating System. She has appeared on Television, Radio, and did public speaking as an advocate for Joint Custody. Janice had been divorced for approximately 13 years before remarrying and raised 3 children on her own during that time. Janice attended Porterville College in Porterville, California and College of the Sequoias in Visalia, California where she attained her degree. She has worked in the Mental Health field since 1972 as a Licensed Psychiatric Technician. Also on her career path, she has worked as a Crisis Worker For Tulare/ Kings Emergency Services and spent several years on the adolescent unit at Modesto Psychiatric Center dealing with troubled children. Janice continues to work in Mental Health as well as Real Estate. In 1995, Janice received her certification and registration as a Clinical Hypnotherapist with the American Board of Hypnotherapy. She is certified as a Metaphysical Counselor and as a Past Life Therapist. Janice is a member of the International Society of Poets and the Association for Research and Enlightenment. Also to her credit, she appeared in the National Reference Institute under "Who's Who of Women Executives" 1989-1990. Other books published by Janice is "Custodial/Non-Custodial Parent Record Keeper" which has sold Nationwide since 1987. Currently she is working towards a Doctorates in Hypnotherapy and maintains a private practice out of her home in Modesto, California.
Related to Quality Time for Dad
Related ebooks
Child's Talk Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDivorce Book for Preschoolers and Young Kids: How to Help Your Young Kids Understand and Cope With Divorce Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Succeed as a Single Parent A Secret Strategy that makes Parenting Easier Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsANGER MANAGEMENT for Kids 5 - 8: The Ultimate Beginners Guide to Help Kids Overcome Anger Management Problems Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAwareness Is the Key: Bettering Relationships Between Parents and Teens Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPositive Parenting Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have Happy and Well-Behaved Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChildren and Divorce: Parenting Tips to Help Your Family Cope and Adjust Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDivorce Book for Young Kids and Preschoolers: How Parents Can Help Their Kids Cope during Divorce and Separation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Succeed as a Step-Parent An Easy Guaranteed Technique that Unites and Strengthens Family Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFor the Children's Sake:: Parenting Together After the Marriage Ends Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWinning the Battle: A Father's Survival Guide to Divorce and Parenting Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Understanding Your Teenage Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSuccessful Parenting Secrets Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBecause I Said So!: Family Squabbles & How to Handle Them Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStrong Advice for the Single Parent Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRelationship First Parenting: How to Improve Cooperation and Build a Lifetime Connection Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShared Care or Divide Lives: What is best for children when parents separate Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsbe a great step parent: learn how to bond well with your step children Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEmotional Recovery from Your Troubled Child: For Parents of Children, Teens and Young Adults Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSingle Parenting How to Raise Happy, Healthy Children If One Parent Is Not Around Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHelping Aging Parents Make Difficult Decisions: Staying Home, #4 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Explain Transgender to Kids Using Simple Words: DEI Parent Guidebooks Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings8 Valuable Tips for Raising Teenagers Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Happy Children A Complete Guide to Smart Parenting through Divorce Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Relationships For You
The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'm Glad My Mom Died Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/58 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer's World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Loving Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (updated with two new chapters) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All About Love: New Visions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for Quality Time for Dad
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Quality Time for Dad - Janice M. Todd
© 2004 by Janice M. Todd. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.
ISBN: 978-1-4140-3247-4 (e-book)
ISBN: 1-4140-3246-3 (Paperback)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2003098541
1stBooks-rev. 10/22/04
Contents
Acknowledgment
Introduction
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
In Loving Memory of
Douglas H. Davis
1949-2004
Acknowledgment
I wish to thank family and friends in both the medical and legal fields for all of their expert advice and support.
Introduction
As co-founder of a fathers right support group, I have come in contact with many fathers who desire to continue the raising of their children following a divorce. Frustration with the Family Law process brought these fathers in contact with me. I am a California resident therefore my reference is to the process in California.
The State of California Family Code provides for Joint Physical (4600.5 (d)(3) and Legal (4600.5 (d)(5) Custody of minor children and assures minor children frequent and continuing contact with both Parents after the Parents have separated or dissolved their marriage.
To encourage Parents to share the rights and responsibilities of the child rearing… (CFC4600(A). Camouflaged within the catch all phrase of
what’s in the best interest of the children", California laws are often ignored, bent or twisted. By tradition, Family Law in general, seems to favor mothers nationwide, thus leaving many good fathers unhappily without their children.
Fathers active in their parenting role prior to divorce and separation, become angry at the system for reducing the role to that of a visitor.
The anger grows when:
1. The courts will not stand behind the very order they set down.
2. When you cannot get the Police to make a formal report when visitations or custody are denied by the mother.
3. District Attorneys cannot be bothered and utter the all too familiar line, Go back to Court, it’s a civil matter.
One begins to wonder what the point was in going to court the first time!
So back he goes to court. The Judges appear bored. The attorneys are getting richer and still, nothing changes. You cannot see your children. It is rare in the California Courts that a mother gets fined, jail time or looses her custody rights for denial of visitations or custody to the father. The problem does exist nation wide.
The fathers who were not active with parenting for one reason or another, may suddenly want to take an active part in raising their children following a divorce. Usually the lack of parenting skills
or a more nurturing nature
are the traditional reasons offered for men not being able to confidently cope with caring for their child. Both are thought to be more or less set aside, or reserved, for Women Only
. This presumed lack of skills may even scare a father away from having his children as often as he might want them.
Quality Time For Dad
is designed with a no frills, to the point approach to enlighten single fathers on how to care for their children during the times that they have them.
If you currently share joint custody of your children or are planning to share more of your time with your children, Quality Time For Dads
is a must. Discussing everything from fevers to food, baby-sitters to battles, and much more, Quality Time For Dad
is a How To
guide for the single father.
(Which can also be appreciated by the mother.)
Chapter 1
Communication And Your Children
When ever a crisis (argument, separation, or divorce) disrupts the family unit, we as parents, so often try to conceal it from the children or minimize it so as not to cause unnecessary fears. In our attempt to protect
our children we fail to realize that they are little people
with the capacity to see, think and especially feel out a situation. Children who are unable to understand the disruption occurring between parents, usually will feel that it is because of me
that the parents are arguing. Sending them out of the room, or outside to play while you fight, puts them out of sight but not out of earshot. Even the youngest child is able to sense when something is wrong. To exclude children from sharing problems affecting the family on a level that they can understand usually leads to their own interpretation of the problem. In most instances can be totally wrong. Children are very quick to blame themselves for problems they do not understand.
When one parent leaves the home, the children do not understand this. The parents have argued before and no one has left, why now?
A sense of abandonment may creep in, especially when a parent is so caught up in his/her own anger.
At times we as parents do what WE think is best for the child, unaware of the horrible emotional games we put our children through when there is a divorce. Our anger causes parents to be selfish and consumed by this anger.
While the focus is on the children and protecting them, the anger may cause parents to use
children to control or get even
with the other parent without even realizing it.
To adequately protect our children we must focus on our own emotional state and put these emotions into perspective. We need to leave the children out of the anger. With the large number of single parent families today, we truly need to start by being honest with ourselves and the children. We must include them in the family crisis and our decisions.
They are members of the family and have a right to know what is going on so that they too can cope with the changes that are taking place. Otherwise they may make their own incorrect, possibly distorted and often self-destructive conclusions. After the material things are settled, the children are all that remain to control the absent partner.
At the time when the decision has been made to divorce, it is vitally important for BOTH parents to sit down and reassure the children that the break-up is not their fault. The children need the reassurance that the parent leaving the home is not doing so because the children have been bad or are not loved anymore. It is suggested that when you talk to children, simplify it as