Helping Aging Parents Make Difficult Decisions: Staying Home, #4

By Ruthanne Koyama

Ruthanne Koyama has great advice for those of us who are treading lightly around the subject of aging.

It’s time to break the cycle of silence that creates stressful situations between aging parents and family members. There are facts available in this book to help and guide both children and parents through these times of discussions, and bring about calm resolutions.

We would rather sweep some of these moments under the carpet than face up to them, but that isn’t going to help either party, be it the parent or the children.

While still living at home, safely is only one aspect of what seniors and their adult children need to consider.

Who better to learn from than one who has experienced these difficult moments than the author herself.  Her experience in moments with not only parents but aging siblings also provides guidance to those who will undoubtedly be challenged with this at som point in their lives.

Ruthanne says aging has many aspects, some good, some not so good.

Creating an environment between both parties is essential to a fruitful outcome and Ruthanne certainly has much to contribute towards making this pathway easy to access.

“Talk to me,” she says. A great way to begin to understand those three little words would be to take hold of Ruthanne’s current advice; see the value of her experiences, and enjoy life from both sides of this aging issue.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ruthanne Koyama
• Release date: Jun 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386070771

Ruthanne Koyama

You may have noticed in this and all my books and websites have a focus on aging and doing so well. Having lost parents and several siblings, that were much older, I have gained insight to what the aging process was, is and how I think it could be. It is these insights that have given me my voice and the desire to help not only myself but others learn how to live well, live happy and live long.  My personal goal is to share what I learn as I continue on my own journey of aging and to hopefully demonstrate all the good there is to come.  I will admit that aging, even for myself is not always easy or without pain, but through the pain comes the determination to seek out the enjoyable times of life.

Book preview

DISCLAIMER

Any reference to people or events described or depicted in this book are for educational purposes only.  While every attempt has been made to verify that the information provided in this book is correct and current to the date of publication.  The author assumes no responsibility for any error, inaccuracy or omission.  If any medical or financial related services are required professional services should be sought. 

INTRODUCTION

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Contrary to popular belief, seniors prefer to live independently in their own environment.  Too often though they are unable to see what needs to be done to allow them to do so.  This book is intended to help adult children help their aging parents prepare for and live the life they so much want to live. 

Seniors are not looking for someone to tell them what to do, what they do want is help in making the right decision about their future.  Sure some older parents are stubborn and set in their ways, but for the most part long gone are the days when they want things just because they want them.  Most seniors with adult children are well aware of how much the world around them has and will continue to change.  They need assistance in understanding how those changes now offer options not previously available to them. As the saying goes; they don't know what they don't know and in some cases don't know what they do know.  The guidance provided in this book and delivered by trusted children is the solution they need and even if not spoken is silently sought.

Use this book as a guide to approaching the issues your parents face, not as a way to take over or run their lives.  Certainly, there will be topics that need addressing that will be more difficult than others; the key is to recognize and plan for them.  That is what the book is meant to do, prepare you for the questions and provide you with options for answering them without causing too much stress for either of you.  You will find checklist and questions that need to be asked that even you may not have considered.  Let these lead the way to having meaningful and supportive discussions with your parents.  Sometimes the tough questions are best asked when approached as coming from a third more experienced party.

These important discussions are never easy, there are always contentious issues, hence the subtitle (The hardest conversation), but are nonetheless ones that need to take place if your parents are going to be able to have the future they want and deserve.  Certainly, there will be items on their wish list that are just not possible, but when discussed and presented in the appropriate way the disappointment of not getting them is an easier pill to swallow.

Timing is Critical

Recognizing when your parents need and are open to having a conversation about the future is critical to the conversation being accepted.

The most important issue is why the talk is needed.  Is it because you think it is needed or is it because your parents have expressed some concern