Fatfish

By Ashley Bradley

Nev and Max help some dude named Retchen finally meet in person the woman he's been engaged in an online relationship with for three years. Will she turn out to be fat as f*çk? Probably.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ashley Bradley
• Release date: Feb 5, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386252771

Book preview

Fatfish

Ashley Bradley

Nev was wearing a v-neck and his chest hair was out. Nev looked over at someone's lesbian Jewish aunt and asked him if he wanted to feel it. Nev said it felt like when you're rubbing your bare feet on a bath mat in a tacky person's house. You know tacky people who have those furry bath mats in their house? Max said he didn't want to touch Nev's bath mat, and Nev did like a flirty smirk without moving any muscles in his face and his expression stayed exactly the same and he was like, You know you want to, Mat. Touch it.

My name is Max, Mat was like, almost completely sure of what he was saying.

Is that short for Maxwell House Coffee? Nev laughed at his own joke.

Then Max dead ass seriously was like, Yes. Actually. I was conceived on a pile of their grounds. My parents named me that.

Huh, Nev said, not even looking at Max but staring directly down at his chest hair. Then he looked up at Mat, Do you think if I cornrolled my chest hair people would forget that my claim to fame is getting fooled by some fat bitch online? That the pictures she was sending me were literally, like, paintings of a person and not even real pictures of a human bean?

Max shrugged, "I guess. I mean, I do not know what cornrolled means? Is that in the same wheelhouse of shaving it off and closing up your fucking shirt?? Is that the same as not ever exposing your chest like that ever again? You