Are You Ready? Stop Wishing It Was Friday.

By Darren Steeves and Sue Comeau

Love your job. Have a nice home. Stay in shape. Eat organic. Get enough sleep. Take time for yourself, but be there for your family and friends. The pressure to have it all is greater now than ever.

Meanwhile, you see your friends posting their latest amazing vacation or new relationship on social media. Is everyone else really that happy and content?! It’s no wonder so many of us feel like we’re coming up short.

Alex, a smart, driven professional, has those thoughts as well. Then he meets Jim, a guy who seems to have it all together. For Alex, this unlikely friendship is life changing.

Read Alex’s story, and see if you can relate to any of his obstacles. Stick with him as he clears a path to the life he wants to live. Then, check out our guide to living the life you want to live, complete with starting points and quick tips.

Are you ready?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Darren Steeves
• Release date: Mar 3, 2017
• ISBN: 9780991757381

Book preview

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More Praise for

Are You Ready? Stop Wishing It Was Friday

An enjoyable and helpful book that reads like a story, not a textbook, allowing the reader to grasp important concepts in a relatable way.

- Mark de Jonge, Olympic medalist and World Champion paddler; professional engineer

Thanks so much for shining a much needed light on this conversation.  Your book resonated with me on so many levels having personally experienced many of Alex’s real and perceived work and life stressors.  Having implemented several of your suggested strategies to build better coping skills and cognitive function I can say there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel.  Life comes at us at hyper-speed every day and your book will help give people perspective that they are not alone in their challenges and perhaps more importantly that there is a way forward, we’re not helpless, we can take charge of our total health with the right support systems and values in place and live the kind of life we imagine for ourselves.  

- Greg Caines, CEBS, Partner, Morneau Shepell Ltd.

A motivating and practical reminder that overall wellness is a life long journey comprised of an infinite series of small steps. A terrific, easy to read handbook for overall wellness in a busy world.

- Keith Abriel, CFO, DHX Media

This is a story about Alex, and about me, you, all of us. It is an engaging reminder that each of us has the choices and the power to be better aligned with our best selves.

- Janice MacInnis, Manager, Organizational Health Human Resources, Dalhousie University 

Health is not a fad diet or 10 minute abs. It is your entire life. It is being the best version of you. Working towards your best self can be challenging, and sometimes you may fall off course. ‘Are you Ready?...’ can help you understand how small, health-focused choices can have a tremendous impact on your health and keep you focused on what’s important to you.

- Jesse Adams MSc, CSCS, Partner, Vendura Wellness

Foreword

Blink once. Blink twice. Blink three times, and before you know it your life has passed you by. The time we have on this earth is short. We all know the deal: there’s an ending. This is not news.

What may be news for some is that we really do have a say in how our life turns out; it’s not all luck.

Whether we know this or not is not as important as what we do in the end. If we get caught up in ‘doing life’ versus ‘living life’, there’s more risk for feeling trapped.

Without noticing it, many times this happens because of going on automatic pilot that drives our behavior and focus. Job, bills, job, bills, family, job, bills, and the rare moments of time to focus on self.

When we get caught in autopilot doing life, what may not be obvious is why we are where we are is because of earlier decisions we made, such as job or career, people we hang around with, and the lifestyle choices we make.

When a person goes on autopilot it’s often done unconsciously, and the strain of doing versus living life often leads to a common set of feelings and thoughts, such as feeling lost, confused and stressed.

The more one focuses on these kinds of feelings and thoughts, the greater the risk of believing we’re trapped.

When this happens, it’s not uncommon to look for outlets to feel good or to forget why we do what we do to figure out how to cope better, as we struggle to understand our meaning in life.

The fact is, most of us have never taken a course on the life lesson to be happy. If you’re wondering how to get more out of life and are not quite sure how, this is not uncommon. Life can be hard and at times even seem unfair. It’s best not to judge yourself but accept that you may not be where you want to be, and be open to finding a different way.

Pause. Stop. Look in the mirror and ask yourself if any of the above makes sense and you can relate to it in any way, whether yourself or someone you love.

The good news is there are options and a pathway to making new decisions that can change your course of life.

Taking time to stop and consider what you can do differently to change, improve, tweak, or evolve provides an opportunity for new awareness, accountability and action to change the course of your life.

Whether it’s a small or big change doesn’t matter; it starts with one decision at a time.

Are You Ready? Stop Wishing It Was Friday provides an opportunity to look through the eyes of a typical human being who is figuring out how to move from doing life versus living it.

Each chapter allows you to experience and ponder Alex’s journey and the opportunities and decisions he’s exploring so he can move from doing to living his life.

There’s no one path. Some may have one or two areas we can tweak to change our day-to-day experiences.

Each of the 45 chapters is short and easy to read. They provide a narrative and opportunity to find an idea or thought that can help you decide to do something different.

After you read the first section of the book, different themes may jump out. Most will find two or three key themes and ideas that relate to them.

The Are You Ready?... Guide is a neat way to review the key theme and lesson for each chapter. This can help connect the dots as to what decisions can be made to improve a theme that can influence and shape how a person lives their life.

The authors’ goal is to provide the reader with a wide enough swath of topics to ensure there are a few relevant themes.

Being a human being is complex. Many different themes can come into play to influence our perceptions of how well we are living our life. There’s no magic bullet nor formula. This book is meant to be a guide to help people make decisions that can have a positive impact on their life. We each have one life to live, and we make our own decisions that define it.

Are You Ready? Stop Wishing It Was Friday provides an easy and safe way to have a conversation with yourself about where you are today, and if you are in fact living life or doing life. Living life with clear intention and a plan will be more fulfilling than feeling like you’re not in control.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned after 30 years of working with people is that with good information, guidance and support, they can make better decisions. Happiness and fulfillment happen one decision at a time. Making life change is simply deciding to do a few things differently every day until you achieve your desired outcome, and then evaluating what’s next and making a new plan. Living life to its fullest takes focus and energy; there’s no escaping this fact.

In the end, making decisions without a clearly-defined action plan seldom is enough. This is perhaps why every year millions of New Year’s resolutions fail. To get the most out of this book, once you see one or two areas where you can make better decisions, be clear on how you will act.

Happy decision-making!

William A. Howatt, Ph.D., Ed.D.

Chief of Research and Development, Workforce Productivity

Morneau Shepell

Chapter 1

When had I started to feel so bad?

As I leaned back in my chair and stretched, I realized that thought had been nagging at me all week.

I sat upright and looked at the half-full soda on my desk, and the remains of a burger and curly fries, from my favorite burger place. I had wolfed them down fast, and now I burped up the aftertaste.

I patted my chest, where my daily dose of heartburn was starting to simmer. I always say that I can’t get enough of those fries. Right now, I had had more than enough.

Taking a deep breath, I looked down at my gut. Man, we used to joke about those guys that couldn’t see below the belt anymore; I was becoming one of them.

(When was the last time I even attempted to work out? I couldn’t remember.)

It was Friday night and I was working late again. I said I’d take on this proposal – I don’t know why.

Was I even getting ahead anymore?

One more email to send, and then I’d be outta here. Checking my phone, I had a vague feeling of disappointment.

This phone was my new toy, the latest version with everything.

Used to be, I’d have a cute little text asking when I’d be home. Now, nothing.

I shook my head, getting the cobwebs out, and tried to focus.

Instead, I found myself staring at a few of the framed pictures on my desk: My wedding picture. My son. Me and my business school buddies. All of us grinning back at me, everyone happy. Was I still happy?

It didn’t seem like my life anymore.

I looked up at the pasty white ceiling of my office.

Yeah, I thought again, when did I get to this?

Chapter 2

Some people believe in destiny. I don’t know.

What I do know is that things aren’t always what they seem.

Sometimes a small change becomes a big deal. The girl who annoyed the hell out of you in school becomes the love of your life.

And sometimes a guy who pisses you off on first meeting can turn out to be your best friend. Or your savior. Or both...

It was the end of another sixty-hour work week.

Finally out of the office, I drove home in my little Audi TT. This was another ‘toy’ I bought a couple of years ago. I loved it, but I also felt like I should have a nice car to, you know, project success.

I pulled into our driveway and shut off the ignition.

All I could think about was a nice cold beer. Or a few.

We had just moved into this house last week.

It was a beautiful historical house in a highly sought after neighborhood. The previous owners had modernized it.

I should have been over the moon.

Hopefully my wife and son were watching a movie or something. It wasn’t only the little messages that had stopped. They usually all but ignored me when I got home these days.

I sat for an extra few seconds and looked out my window at the dark, inky sky. I used to love this dusky time of night. Now it just seemed black.

I got out of the car and rubbed my neck. It’s chronically screwed up now. I used to try to get to a physical therapist when I could, but that’s a rarity these days. Now, I usually just suck it up and deal with the pain.

I jingled my keys, to find the new front door key. All seemed quiet. Good. I love my family, but I just needed to decompress. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Just a few beers and some TV.

Hey! came a booming voice.

I jumped and glanced behind me, startled. I fumbled with my keys and they dropped. (I didn’t think I was that edgy!)

I hadn’t even looked when I got out of the car. Stupid!

I spun around.

The booming voice was bigger than the guy it belonged to. An older man I had seen around the neighborhood. It was hard to tell how old he was, but he looked incredibly fit. I didn’t put him over 55, that’s for sure.

I looked at him, then straightened up and sucked in my gut, self-consciously.

Uh, hey, I stuttered out.

The guy stepped forward toward my keys, but I bent down and grabbed them off the ground first. I stepped back.

Oh jeez, sorry about that, he said, a little quieter this time. Didn’t mean to surprise you like that.

He thrust his hand forward. I’m Jim, he said, a little too enthusiastically for