The Narratives: Evolution: The Narratives, #4

By Vince Guaglione

The Narratives series of works is a collection of short introspective essays written by an average guy in an effort to better understand himself, his life, and his relationship with the world around him while traveling the road of self-discovery. These works can best be described as the author's unique brand of journaling, encompassing both self-reflective entries, and an expression of thoughts and opinions surrounding social issues of the present day.

The Narratives: Evolution documents a new chapter in the author's personal growth, following a period of instability, grief, and mourning brought on by the death of a loved one. Each short journal-style essay presented in this work touches on the author's search for substance, depth, and purpose, and is written with full transparency, providing the reader with a unique window into the author's soul.

The Narratives: Evolution, is the fourth volume in The Narratives series.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vince Guaglione
• Release date: Jun 29, 2014
• ISBN: 9781533753922

Book preview

The Narratives

Evolution

Vince Guaglione

Text copyright ©2014 Vincent P. Guaglione

All Rights Reserved

For

All of those who have been so supportive throughout the Dark Ride.

You know who you are.

Acknowledgements

Once again, a very special thanks goes out to Danny, Kiel, Adam, Nick, Ashley, Emily, Brittani, Aislinn, Caitlin, Garrett, Laura, MJ, and the entire Starbucks Brier Creek crew.

And as always, I would like to thank my copy editor, A.D. Reed. Not only does he correct my grammar and punctuation, but he provides great insight in helping me become a better writer.

Table of Contents

I – In Retrospect

II – Really Letting Shit Go

III – Clearing the Clutter

IV – Life’s Little Dilemmas

V – Flipping the Switch

VI – The Pursuit of Depth

VII –Behind the Window

VIII –The Past Revisited

IX – Pride ... for the Right Reason

X –The Endless Battle with Distraction

XI – Adaptability and Change

XII – My Evolution

XIII – And on the Seventh Day...

About the Author

I – In Retrospect

It’s been seventeen months since I started on this journey of self-reflection. During this time, I’ve crafted more than forty of these short essays, which have yielded three individual collections of prose. It all started with a common theme during an extremely turbulent time of my life, but quickly wandered into uncharted territory, taking many twists and turns along the way. Soon, sticking entirely to my original theme of self-reflection became an almost impossible task, as some of the more mundane aspects of life encroached on my psyche, yielding additional insights to put to paper. Still, I never strayed far from my central theme. At times it felt as if I had, but after looking back on all that I’ve written, I can see that there wasn’t much divergence at all.

Each short essay is unique and will stand on its own merit. Some touch on highly personal aspects of my life, others on facets of my personality; more than a few present my commentary on our shortcomings as a society, while others are a testament to the human spirit. And I even found it in me to write one entire essay metaphorically, though I still consider this a stretch from what I normally do. But when I look back on all of it, I see that what these essays represent, or accurately depict, is my state of mind at the time of their creation. Essentially, each one is a snapshot of what I was feeling and experiencing at that moment. There were times when I was troubled, in pain, grieving, angry, frustrated, restless, and even depressed; at others I was calm, hopeful, awestruck, happy, and at peace. Whatever my mood, it colored and shaped my work.

In looking back through the chronology of Narratives I, II, and III, I can see that I was all over the map emotionally from minute to minute—essay to essay—but when taken as a whole, I could tell that I had made a transformation. Still, I didn’t complete the puzzle and recognize the metamorphosis until I’d looked back on what I’d written, and found that I had since experienced a shift in my perspective.

Throughout Narratives I and the first part of Narratives II, I was still dealing with my grief and sadness, but I also held out hope for the future. The remainder of Narratives II saw me beginning to transition out of this period of depression into one of acceptance, to fully put things into perspective and determine my path forward. But then a strange thing happened. I experienced quite an anger phase, when I least expected it. And out of that internal fire was born Narratives III. When looking up the five stages of loss and grief, anger is supposed to come before depression and acceptance. But I guess sometimes things don’t go exactly by the book.

Everything came to a head for me one weekend when a couple of things happened that forced me to take a hard look at what might really be going on within—what was truly happening at my core. And what I learned astounded me. I’ll save the details for you, the reader, in the subsequent essay.

What I can say here is that dealing with this issue opened up new avenues for me and allowed me to reach an important place—eventually. It was another one of those do-or-die moments, and dying was not my preferred option.

Things change all the time. Circumstances, attitudes, expectations, life itself ... nothing is static. Getting trapped in belief systems that keep us stuck in place and stunt our growth seems to be more the norm than the exception. We are who we are, but sometimes we have to question everything—everything we do, perceive, react to, believe, believe in. Everything. It’s just another part of the growth process, one that leads us a step closer to self-actualization.

I had one of those moments and it was only then, when I went looking for answers, that I opened myself up to