Pressing Your Own Buttons: Take Control of Your Life So Others Don't!TM

By Gary Screaton Page

Have you ever had to deal with difficult people? At one time or another, we all have. They seem to know exactly what to say, do, or even to look at us to make us tense, get angry, or want to avoid them altogether! When they affect us this way, they are in control of us. When we respond thoughtfully and rationally, we are in control.

This book will liberate you! Author, Gary Screaton Page, Ph.D. helps you understand how others affect you. He shows you how they are able to “press your buttons.” Learn what it is that people say, do, or how they look that makes you tense, or want to change or avoid them. Gary Screaton Page will show you how you learned to respond as you and then he will show you what to do about it. Get your copy now! Start Pressing Your Own Buttons: Take Control of Your Life So Others Don’t!TM

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gary Screaton Page
• Release date: Jun 1, 2015
• ISBN: 9780973387292

Gary Screaton Page

Gary Screaton Page, Ph.D. is a General Member of the Ontario Association of Consultants Counsellors Psychometricians and Psychotherapists (OACCPP). An award-winning educator, Gary has an M.Ed. in Education and a Ph.D. in counseling. He is a Registered Clinical Therapist and award-winning teacher having taught students at all levels of education: from Primary through College and University. Gary Screaton Page is the author of several books, numerous articles, and has created an online self-counseling course to help you relate more effectively to others. Gary has been interviewed on numerous radio shows as well as on "Canada A.M.," "Hour Long," and "Take Thirty" television shows. He was Education Consultant for a children’s television series, Host/Writer for CHEX-TV’s "What Did You Do In School Today," as well as Contributing Editor of "The Educational Courier." Gary holds certificates in Clinical Pastoral Counseling and Cybercounseling among others. He is a member of the Board of Jericho House Youth Leadership, Justice, and Spirituality Centre (www.jerichohouse.org) located in Wainfleet, ON and is a police service Chaplain. He has worked with thousands of parents and children throughout his professional career.

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Disclaimer

The author has changed the names and identifying characteristics of people alluded to in this book. He does not intend to refer to specific persons. All situations are simulations of those encountered in his practice and the names do not refer to actual persons involved. The names are only composites of people with whom the author may have worked. Any resemblance, then, to an identifiable person is coincidental and unintended.

The author has made what he believes to be reasonable efforts to use illustrations that he specifically and privately commissioned, or he believes to be legitimately from public domain sources. Please, notify the author of any oversights so he can either fairly compensate the creator of them and/or remove them from future editions. The author regrets any oversight and, if there are any, they are unintentional.

This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in the publication. It is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is engaged in rendering medical, health, or any other kind of personal professional services in these learning materials. This book is not meant to be used, nor should it be used, to diagnose or treat any medical or mental health condition. For diagnosis or treatment of any medical or mental health problem, consult your own physician. The publisher and author are not responsible for any specific health or allergy needs that may require medical supervision and are not liable for any damages or negative consequences from any treatment, action, application or preparation, to any person reading or following the information in this book. The reader should consult his or her medical, health, mental health, or other competent professional before adopting any of the suggestions in these resources or drawing inferences from them.

References in this book are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute endorsement of any websites or other sources. Readers should be aware that the websites listed in this book may change. While links included in this book were accurate at the time of publication, their accuracy—especially those of third parties—cannot be guaranteed. The author and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and/or application of any of the contents of this book.

Gary Screaton Page, OMC, MEd, PhD

Table of Contents

PART I: MANUAL

FOREWORD

PREFACE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

INTRODUCTION: WHERE ARE WE GOING?

ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE

TAKING CONTROL SO OTHERS DON’T

A BRIEF NOTE ABOUT FORMAT

A JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY

SCIENCE BEHIND THE PROGRAM

REINFORCING ACTIVITIES

CHAPTER 1 THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM

OTHERS AFFECT US

CHAPTER 2 HOT BUTTONS TROUBLESOME SOCIAL STIMULI

A CLOSER LOOK AT SOCIAL STIMULI

CHAPTER 3 OBSERVATION, INFERENCE, AND EVALUATION

IN SUMMARY

REINFORCING ACTIVITY

CHAPTER 4 IS WHAT YOU THOUGHT THEY SAID WHAT THEY MEANT?

REINFORCING ACTIVITY

CHAPTER 5 YOUR PERSONAL HOT BUTTONS

REINFORCING ACTIVITY

CHAPTER 6 WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

REINFORCING ACTIVITY

CHAPTER 7 COOLING YOUR HOT BUTTONS

COGNITIVE REAPPRAISAL

DESENSITIZATION

BEHAVIOR VARIATION

SEVEN SIMPLE STEPS TO PERSONAL FREEDOM

CHAPTER 8 FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, AND ACTIONS

MORE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EQUALS MORE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES

CHAPTER 9 THE HOT BUTTONS WITHIN

INTERNAL STIMULI

PERFECTING YOUR INTERPERSONAL COPING SKILLS!

APPENDIXES FOR PART I

APPENDIX 1A

YOUR PERSONAL BUTTON PRESSERS

APPENDIX 1B

DISCOVERING YOUR HOT BUTTONS

APPENDIX 1C

SEVEN SIMPLE STEPS TO PERSONAL FREEDOM

APPENDIX 1D

SEVEN SIMPLE STEPS TO PERSONAL FREEDOM MAP

APPENDIX 1E

THE HOT BUTTONS WITHIN YOU

PART II: PROGRAMMED WORKBOOK

PREFACE TO PROGRAMMED WORKBOOK

CHAPTER 1 THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM

PROGRAMMED LEARNING BEGINS HERE

ACTIVITY 1.1

ACTIVITY 1.2

ACTIVITY 1.3

ACTIVITY 1.4

ACTIVITY 1.5

CHAPTER 2 DISCOVERING YOUR HOT BUTTONS

ACTIVITY 2.1

ACTIVITY 2.2

ACTIVITY 2.3

ACTIVITY 2.4

ACTIVITY 2.5

ACTIVITY 2.6

CHAPTER 3 OBSERVATION, INFERENCE, AND EVALUATION

ACTIVITY 3.1

ACTIVITY 3.1: RECORD SHEET

CHAPTER 4 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT WHAT THEY SAID IS WHAT YOU THOUGHT THEY MEANT?

CHAPTER 5 WHO’S PRESSING YOUR BUTTONS?

ACTIVITY 5.1: INSTRUCTIONS:

ACTIVITY 5.1: RECORD SHEET

ACTIVITY 5.2 RECORD SHEET

CHAPTER 6 WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

ACTIVITY 6.1

ACTIVITY 6.1: RECORD SHEET

CHAPTER 7 COOLING YOUR HOT BUTTONS

SEVEN SIMPLE STEPS TO PERSONAL FREEDOM™

ACTIVITY 7.1

ACTIVITY 7.1: RECORD SHEET

CHAPTER 8 FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, AND ACTIONS: WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW WILL SURPRISE YOU!

ACTIVITY 8.1

ACTIVITY 8.2

CHAPTER 9 THE HOT BUTTONS WITHIN!

ACTIVITY 9.1

ACTIVITY 9.2

ACTIVITY 9.1: RECORD SHEET

ACTIVITY 9.2: RECORD SHEET

GLOSSARY

CONCLUSION

ASK THE AUTHOR

HELP FOR STUDENTS

AUDIO-VIDEO RESOURCE

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT CERTIFICATE COURSE

EARN PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT CREDIT FOR COMPLETING THE ONLINE COURSE

BIBLIOGRAPHY

NOTES

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Foreword

What attracted me to Dr. Gary Page in the beginning was his easygoing manner. He was certainly not pretentious or over bearing in any way. He was not smug or full of himself. After writing and publishing several books he could well have claimed that higher ground. What there was about him, however, was an appearance of being at peace—a comfort zone. He carries a self-assuredness that is not found in many. As I got to know him, I realized that he has spent a great deal of time studying, learning, and finally understanding what it is about people that makes it difficult for them to find and enjoy their happiness. How many of us would go to the ends of the earth to find that place in our lives where we were the ones in control of our emotions instead of being at the mercy of those around us? How many times have some of us said or heard others say how He or she just knows how to push my buttons, or They make me so angry, so sad or so depressed. How many of those around us seem to be controlled by the behavior of others?

Now, having been around Gary for quite some time, I have come to understand the gifts he brings to the world around him. He is truly a great teacher who has been able to create a program of immense importance to those who want to become their own master. That means that you can learn and understand what makes you respond to the negative stimuli that trigger negative responses in you but more importantly you will learn how to push your own buttons and take back your control. You will learn how to stop others from controlling you.

I recognized early on that Gary has a great capacity for sharing his knowledge and skills with others. He loves nothing more than to help those around him be all they can be. Gary has clearly outlined an approach designed to help anyone with the desire to be more in control of their own emotions, responses and to conquer those attempts to limit your own sense of well-being. The program is called: Pressing Your Own Buttons and it comes with a simple, user friendly but detailed workbook that is easy to follow.

It’s not often that a book of this quality is made available to the public. After spending time with Dr. Page, I can say that he is a successful graduate of his own work and if you want what he has found, then this program could well be your answer to what you are looking for.

Enjoy the read and much success.

All the best,

James Cloughley, R.S.S.W

Author of Amazon Best Seller: A Man’s Work Is Never Done: A Novel About Mentoring Our Sons.

Preface

This book will liberate you! Pressing Your Own Buttons: Take Control of Your Life So Others Don’t ! will help you gain a more complete understanding of yourself and others. What is more, you will be freer to interact with others and to take control of all your relationships. By the time, you finish this book (Pressing Your Own Buttons™ or PYOB™ for short), you can be the person you want to be.

This book was originally two books. It is now one book in two parts. Part I is the Manual. It provides the core material and explains the program in detail. The Manual includes not just the theoretical background but also provides illustrations and activities to clarify and to reinforce learning.

Part II is the Linear Programmed Workbook. Each chapter in the Workbook reinforces its counterpart in the Manual. Every frame was designed and tested to reinforce the reader’s understanding of the theory, and clarify the practical application of Pressing Your Own Buttons: Take Control of Your Life So Others Don’t ! While one could possibly master the program with either the Manual or Workbook alone. They work best together. Combined, they will provide any serious and attentive reader a solid understanding of interpersonal coping skills. By the time you finish this book you will be able to take control of your life so others don’t!

"Online Course. For those of you who would welcome a more intensive study of this program, and who may wish to have direct contact with the author as you learn to master the skills covered in Pressing Your Own Buttons: Take Control of Your Life So Others Don’t™, there is an online course that includes the Manual, Programmed Workbook, PowerPoint® audio-visual presentation, newsletter, and direct email contact with the author. For more information go to: www.pressingyourownbuttons.com or www.genesisonlinelifecoaching.com."

Acknowledgements

No book is the result of the effort of just one person. Others are always involved. At the top of the list of those who made this book possible is Dr. Clifford Christensen. Cliff, as most of his students knew him, was Department Chair when I had the good fortune to have him for my Psychology Professor at the Ontario Institute of Education (O.I.S.E.) in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He was a caring, insightful, encouraging, and good-natured taskmaster who challenged me to think creatively. When he agreed to be my Doctoral Thesis Advisor, I could not have been more fortunate. He helped me focus and to believe the work was worth the effort. This book and the related learning resources grew out of the research of Dr. Christensen and the contributions of those who worked with him¹ as he developed the model presented here.

In a very real way, Cliff Christensen and his team are the lead authors of this book and I am its co-author. I will always be grateful to Cliff for giving me permission to take his research and publications and to develop them into the present Manual and companion Programmed Workbook. Together with the audio and video material, they form a self-instructional system to help every reader become a more effective person. I have built this manual, the accompanying workbook, the related optional audio-visual materials and online course upon Development and Field-Testing of an Interpersonal Coping Skills Program². In 1974, Dr. Christensen, and others³ in the Department of Applied Psychology at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, published that original work. The foundation of this book is the work done through Research and Development Project Number 812.

Due to Dr. Christensen's encouragement and direction while I was his student, I was able to complete this book, Pressing Your Own Buttons: Take Control of Your Life So Others Don’t!™ , which forms the print portion of the self-directed learning system of the same name. In Cliff’s honor, a portion of all proceeds from the sale of each book and related resources will go to a scholarship named in his honor. The scholarship will go to a Psychology Student in the O.I.S.E. Graduate School at the University of Toronto.

Cliff, I thank you for being you and for teaching me that I can press my own buttons!

Gary Screaton Page, OMC, MEd, PhD

Introduction: Where Are We Going?

No one is an island. We humans need to interact with other people. At any given point in our lives, who and what we are is a result of what we learn by ourselves, or either directly or indirectly from others. You see, our brains are like digital recorders. All our life experiences pass through our brains. Some of those experiences stay in our short-term memories for, well, a short time. Others our brains record and they may stay there for our lifetimes. Some of those experiences are positive and helpful, and even can be lifesaving. Other experiences are negative. Over time, those may prove not to be helpful at all.