On pause

I am a Capricorn with a Capricorn rising, which I think is important to tell you before we go any further. You can imagine what my life looks like. I’m a to-do list writer and a vision-board maker and a person in possession of a five-year plan broken down into monthly instalments. I am someone who has never, not once in the years since I was taught to use my opposable thumbs in the manner in which God no doubt intended, left my bed unmade. It’s a double Capricorn thing.

All this is to explain that I had a plan for 2020. We all did, didn’t we? My plan was going to involve what plans usually do: ambitious goals, big changes, small steps towards figuring out what it all means and why we’re all doing it. I was going to put myself out there in a way that, if the plan proceeded accordingly, might have allowed me to create a different kind of life for myself, a life that I really, really wanted. Well, spoiler alert, it didn’t and I haven’t. Instead,