Jack and the Beanstalk's Favourite Fetishes

By Sassy Johns

All the girls in Jack's village are involved with helicopter-pilot concert-pianist billionaires, leaving Jack lonely and longing for love. But everything changes when he swaps his beloved Daisy the Cow for some magic beans. Each bean brings him closer to what he's always wanted...the fulfillment of his favourite fetishes.
A frivolous look at some common and not-so-common fetishes, and what they could lead to...if only you could get what you've always wanted!
WARNING: ADULTS ONLY. CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT.
Includes: Breastfeeding Fetish (Erotic Lactation), Shoe Fetish (Retifism), Foot Fetish (Podophilia), Giant Fetish (Macrophilia), Pubic Hair Fetish (Pubephilia), Belly Button (Navel) Fetish, Sleep Fetish (Somnophilia), and more!
A Ridiculous Romp from Sassy Johns, author of the 'Sexy and Silly Stories for You' series.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sassy Johns
• Release date: Jan 16, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311531223

Sassy Johns

The best advice I ever got about sex was from one of my randy old aunts (yes, I have more than one randy old aunt). She told me that "Sex is supposed to be fun, so don't take it so seriously." I guess I've taken that to the extreme in my life and in my writing, and I'm here to help you learn to laugh during sex as well. Trust me; you should try this at home! Sex is inherently ridiculous; it's icky and sticky and you make funny noises - often from more than one orifice at the same time. My SASSY stories are my attempt to bring some humour into humping, some fun into fucking, and some laughter into lovemaking. At the same time, I’m trying to take the shame out of shagging. Even my randy old grandmother approves... Thanks, Nan!

Book preview

Ridiculous Romps

Jack and the Beanstalk’s

Favourite Fetishes

Sassy Johns

Smashwords Edition

WARNING: This book contains content of a sexual nature.

FOR ADULTS ONLY.

Copyright 2014 by Sassy Johns

Published by Sassy Johns at Smashwords

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Author's note:

All characters depicted in this work of fiction are 18 years of age or older.

A Message from the Author:

A warning before you start: this story is ridiculous, clichéd, and contains reference to far too many fetishes to be a serious erotic story. This is a porn parody, an erotic comedy. Stop reading now if you think you might find it offensive that it contains both sex and sarcasm.

If you like this story, check out another one, Rapunzel Ravishes her Rescuer. I must warn you though; it’s quite icky in places. If you want more clichéd alliteration, but less yucky bits, then Pinocchio’s Perfect Penis is the story for you.

Go to my author page to discover what else I’ve written for you.

There are so many wonderful stories just crying out for a SASSY (Sexy and Silly Story for You) version. Make a request in your review of this story, and I might oblige you by Sassifying the story you suggest…

I’m laughing, yet getting wet, just thinking about it…

Thanks!

SASSY Johns.

(Putting the humour into humping)

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