Adult Bedtime Stories (6 Book Value Boxed Set Bundle)

By Sassy Johns

Adults Only. Contains sexual content.
Save 50%! Buy all 6 erotic comedy books for the price of 3!

Snow White: Snow White's quest to escape from the wicked Queen, while having a fucking good time along the way...

The Princess and the Pea: Maybe is wasn't the pea under the bed that caused all those bruises?

Jack and the Beanstalk: The giant's wife gives Jack everything he's always wanted, but the giant isn't happy that someone is fucking his wife...

Pinocchio: It's not just his nose that grows!

Rapunzel: Locked in the tower, hungry and thirsty; until the prince arrives with a body part full of creamy, white liquid to slake her thirst. All she needs to do is suck.

Three Little Pigs: Each young woman finds a big bad man, and she lets him come in.

Erotic Comedy. ADULTS ONLY - CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sassy Johns
• Release date: Feb 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310398872

Sassy Johns

The best advice I ever got about sex was from one of my randy old aunts (yes, I have more than one randy old aunt). She told me that "Sex is supposed to be fun, so don't take it so seriously." I guess I've taken that to the extreme in my life and in my writing, and I'm here to help you learn to laugh during sex as well. Trust me; you should try this at home! Sex is inherently ridiculous; it's icky and sticky and you make funny noises - often from more than one orifice at the same time. My SASSY stories are my attempt to bring some humour into humping, some fun into fucking, and some laughter into lovemaking. At the same time, I’m trying to take the shame out of shagging. Even my randy old grandmother approves... Thanks, Nan!

Book preview

Adult Bedtime Stories

By S K Johns and Sassy Johns

Hot and Hilarious

The Complete Boxed Set, containing:

The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf

Jack and the Beanstalk’s Favourite Fetishes

The Princess and the Pea

Rapunzel Ravishes her Rescuer

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Pinocchio’s Perfect Penis

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2014 by S K Johns and Sassy Johns

Published by S K Johns and Sassy Johns at Smashwords

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Author's note:

All characters depicted in this work of fiction are 18 years of age or older.

Bedtime Stories

For Big Boys and Girls

The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf

S K Johns

WARNING: This book contains graphic content of a sexual nature. FOR ADULTS ONLY.

Copyright © 2013 by S K Johns

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof

may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf

WARNING: This story contains graphic content of a sexual nature. FOR ADULTS ONLY.

Once upon a time there were three sisters. One day their mother sent them out to live on their own in the big, wide world. The First Little Woman moved into an apartment with a fellow hairdressing apprentice. The Second Little Woman moved into a house with her very handsome but sadly gay friend, and the Third Little Woman moved into a university dorm with dozens of other drunken and giggling young people eager to explore their sexuality.

Huff

After a time, along came a Big Bad Man. He rode up to the First Little Woman’s hair salon on his motorcycle, his tattooed arms glistening in the sun. She eyed him hungrily through the window as he parked his Harley, and whispered to her friend mmm…it sure looks HOT outside today.

The Big Bad Man sauntered inside in his tight leather pants, the bulge between his legs leading the way through the door. The First Little Woman rushed over to him and led him to her chair, beating all the other hairdressers to the chance. Just a short back and sides he commanded, and reached out for the copy of Cleo on the table in front of him. Sure, anything you say, purred the first little woman, as she began to trim his hair. The vibrations from the electric shears tingled all the way to her clit as she stroked the shears across his head. Eventually she finished with the shears and moved on to the final trim with scissors. She put the shears into the pocket at the front of her apron, resting them against her pubic mound and turning them back on. Soon, she could stand it no more, and she leaned into the back of his chair to increase the pressure of the vibrations. Hey, you forgot to turn the shears off – they’re still buzzing said the Big Bad Man.

Oh, you’re right. Silly me! The switch sometimes gets stuck on them she gasped, barely able to speak as the waves of an orgasm began to sweep over her. I’ll just take them out to the storeroom to remove the batteries. Sometimes they just keep going and going and going and going. She rushed out to the storeroom and locked herself in, just as an intense orgasm overpowered her. Her legs buckled and she collapsed onto the floor, tumbling against the shelves, knocking over dozens of watered down yet overpriced hair products and showering herself with various chemicals and scents.

She lay gasping on the floor as the orgasmic waves subsided, and eventually pulled herself up. She quickly replaced the bottles, tubes, and spray cans on the shelves, knowing that they would still be sold to customers one tiny dollop or squirt at a time, using the tried and tested hairdressers’ technique of making the customers too embarrassed to say no.

The First Little Woman returned to her station, and picked up her scissors to begin trimming the Big Bad Man’s hairy neck. She leaned in and whispered I’m sorry I took so long to come.

No problem he winked. I quite often have the same problem. Her legs turned to jelly again and she wished she hadn’t left the shears in the storeroom. She smiled at him coyly, but noticed that his eyes had glazed over and his face was turning purple. He began to huff and gasp – What’s that smell? he managed to wheeze.

Oh, it’s just some hair product. She replied.

My as--- he struggled, as he fumbled with his tight pants, trying to reach the bulge inside them.

Your ass? What are you doing? She said, looking desperately around her to make sure no-one else was watching. "

I need. My---ass.—Get you hand—Let me-- In---here… he huffed, desperately thrusting his bulge towards her.

No, I won’t let you in – not here, anyway! Come back to my place after work tonight, and we’ll have coffee… She pleaded, but he wouldn’t stop fumbling with his crotch. Stop it! she almost yelled.

Her supervisor heard her and came rushing over to see what was going on. Oh my God! she yelled He’s having an asthma attack. She turned to the Big Bad Man and asked Have you got an inhaler? The Big Bad Man pointed to the bulge in his pants, and she reached her slim hands inside his pocket to retrieve the inhaler. He huffed away gratefully. Thanks! I couldn’t get my big hand in there he said, once he had gained back his breath. I tried to ask your apprentice for help getting it out, but she wouldn’t let me put her hand in.

Oh. I’m so sorry said her supervisor.

I wouldn’t have been having an asthma attack in the first place if it wasn’t for her wearing all those scented products. That’s one of my triggers.

Please, accept my apologies, and let me take you outside for some fresh air. said her supervisor as they walked out together And perhaps I should come with you on a ride, just to check you’re totally fine.

Thanks, I’d love to have you come with me. He crooned, as her supervisor glanced back at the First Little Woman with a sneer. Just let me know if my ride goes on too long for you – I can go for as long as you want. Sometimes I just keep going and going and going and going.

The First Little Woman watched them leave, and then she returned to the storeroom to make sure her electric shears were fully charged and ready for the next customer.

Puff

The Second Little Woman took a job at her local nightclub. After some time, she was talent-spotted by the owner of the neighbouring strip club. She thought it was because of her bubbly personality and excellent customer service, but in fact her huge tits and curvaceous arse were the deciding factors. Her new boss gave her training in both kinds of dancing - pole and lap, and for some reason she was always asked to dance whenever she served drinks in her new place of work. This confused her, as it didn’t ever happen at her old employer’s nightclub. But she decided that she had just moved to a friendlier workplace. She like the feeling of the smooth, hard pole rubbing between her thighs as she danced – and the customers seemed to like the way she angled her crotch so that her clit slid up and down the cold metal, often making her have the most amazing feeling. They even seemed to like when she left trails of her juices on the pole and puddles of it on the floor, although the other girls got a bit disgusted by this and told she had a medical problem or something – all except for Alice, who would lick it off while touching herself inside her panties when it was her turn to dance. The customers seemed to like this too. The Second Little Woman thought that Alice might be one of those Lesbian-type girls, but she didn’t want to prejudge her unfairly without seeing her dressed in her normal clothes. She knew the only way to tell if someone is a lesbian is to see whether their clothes look mannish.

One night, a new customer walked in. He was a man. The Second Little Woman wasn’t sure why, but all the customers were men. This one was big, and she could tell he was bad because he had a tattoo. Everyone with tattoos is bad. This Big Bad Man sat down near the stage and called the Second Little Woman over to him. He ordered a Whiskey and Ice, and a lap dance. She brought him his drink, and slipped her smooth thighs over his legs, shimmying further up, grinding her pelvis against his groin. He slipped his free hand down between her legs, and found the edge of her panties. Running his fingers inside, he exclaimed Wow, you’re really wet! She replied how she had been instructed to by her boss: That’s because you make me so hot… she rasped, licking her lips. The Big Bad Man began to grow bigger under her, and she could feel a hot, hard rod against her clit. You’re too hot. I need to cool down she said. She reached into his drink and pulled out a piece of ice, sliding it down inside her panties and rubbing it around her labia and clit. She rubbed it over the bulge on his pants too.