The Mama Time Workbook for New Mothers

By Drs.Tamara and Michael Grosz

With contributions from six experienced psychologist moms and one doctor dad, The Mama Time Workbook for New Mothers provides a rich combination of professional expertise combined with practical parenting strategies for the first year. This book will quickly become a valuable resource for every new mother!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Drs.Tamara and Michael Grosz
• Release date: Jun 14, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476245386

Drs.Tamara and Michael Grosz

Dr. Tamara Grosz received her Masters in Psychology from Long Island University and her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology with a specialization in Marriage and Family Counseling from Seton Hall University. She has undergraduate degrees in Psychology and Nursing and completed her doctoral internship in Clinical Psychology at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. She has over thirty years of health care experience and spent much of her early career designing and implementing state of the art inpatient and outpatient psychiatric programs around the United States. Dr. Tamara Grosz is a Licensed Psychologist, Certified Life Coach and Nationally Board Certified Psychiatric Clinical Nurse Specialist. She is also a Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. Some of her clinical interests include: PTSD and other Anxiety Disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorders, and techniques for maximizing overall potential. Active in numerous professional organizations, Dr. Tamara is a Past President of the Georgia College Counseling Association and has presented well over 1,000 workshops throughout the country for professionals and members of the general population. Her past faculty appointments include teaching in the graduate counseling programs at the Georgia School of Professional Psychology and Argosy University. She presently is a member of the Behavioral Health Advisory Board for the Professional Counseling Program at South University. Currently, Dr.Tamara is Director of Counseling and Disability Services at the Savannah College of Art and Design. As part of the Mama Time Team, she also presents workshops for mothers of children with special needs around the United States. In her free time she loves to travel, cook and enjoy family time! Dr. Michael Grosz is currently a United States Army Reserve Officer and a consulting Doctor of Chiropractic. Dr. Mike received his undergraduate degree in Mechanical Engineering from the United States Military Academy at West Point. While on Active Duty during the Gulf War, Dr. Grosz received both the Combat Infantryman’s badge and the Purple Heart. Following the Gulf War, Dr. Grosz utilized the healing powers of Chiropractic and natural medical interventions to personally recover from Gulf War illness. He later went on to receive his Doctor of Chiropractic from Life University. He is an Advanced Proficiency Activator Specialist and is DAN (Defeat Autism Now) trained. In addition, he has received intensive training in natural modalities utilizing the Brimhall method and Hope for Autism Bionutritional Intervention Program. Some of his clinical interests include the use of hyperbaric therapy, the treatment of autoimmune disorders, muscular skeletal conditions, and nutrition and autism spectrum disorders. Dr. Grosz is a leader within the Georgia Chiropractic Association and has been part of a team to promote the benefits of Chiropractic for our Military and Veterans to our leaders in the House of Representatives and Senate. An engaging workshop presenter, Dr. Grosz is a sought out speaker and workshop presenter. With Mama Time, Dr. Mike holds Special Needs Bootcamps for Fathers of Children with Special Needs and also teaches Special Needs Martial Arts classes in the Savannah area. Dr. Mike is a 4th degree Blackbelt in Judo and Ju Jitsu and a Shodan in GoJu Ryu. Drs. Michael and Tamara Grosz have been married for over 20 years and are the proud parents of two children, Geoffrey and Leilani (ages 4 and 10), one standard poodle (Buddy) and three cats (Canoli, Midnight and Peanuts).

Book preview

The Mama Time Workbook

For New Mothers

Practical Strategies and Parenting Wisdom for the First Year

Edited by: Tamara Grosz, Ph.D., APRN, BC and Michael Grosz, D.C.

Copyright 2012

Smashwords Edition

Cover design by Cal Sharp

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smaswords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is lovingly dedicated to our families! Without your love and support, this book would not be possible.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 Developing Your Mother’s Intuition

Chapter 2 Surviving the First 30 Days

Chapter 3 Breastfeeding Your Baby

Chapter 4 Sleep Strategies

Chapter 5 Exercise

Chapter 6 Nourishing Basics for Your Family

Chapter 7 Balancing Through the Practice of Self – Care

Chapter 8 An Introduction to Mindful Parenting

Chapter 9 Keeping Your Relationship Strong

Chapter 10 Deciding to Return to Work

Chapter 11 Deciding to Stay at Home

Chapter 12 Grieving Losses-Identifying Gifts-for New Mothers of Children with Special Needs

Chapter 13 About Mama Time

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Tamara Grosz, Ph.D.

The formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a scepter more potent than that of kings or priests.

Author Unknown

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

Washington Irving

A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go. 

Author Unknown

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.

Abraham Lincoln

Dear New Mama,

Welcome to motherhood-possibly the most wondrous, fulfilling, and at time overwhelming adventure of your life! Created by a team of experienced mothers (and a father and grandfather too!) and healthcare professionals, The Mama Time Workbook for New Mothers, is here to support your journey!

Unlike many parenting books on the market, we believe that ultimately you are the parenting expert! Utilizing the structured intuitive-based journal writing exercises provided in this workbook, our goal is to provide you with some resources, practical ideas from our own experience as parents, and strategies that will provide you with a foundation for making your own intentional decisions about mothering. Chapter one will provide you with some tips about the intuitive-based reflective journal writing process that will continue to be utilized in the subsequent chapters of this workbook. We suggest you read Chapter one first.

Feel free to read the rest of the chapters in any order that makes sense to you. Pick a chapter that will be most helpful to you at that time. Go back to chapters and review them again when you are faced with a challenge in a particular area. Read your earlier workbook responses and challenge yourself to explore the questions at a deeper level or from a different perspective. You will quickly find new answers when you approach the chapters in this way.

Here are some reminders for your first year as a new mother. Be gentle with yourself. Your world as you knew it before becoming a mother has been turned upside down! Your body is surging with hormones which naturally will have an impact on your emotions! You will often be sleep deprived (see that Chapter!). You, that precious little one, and your husband are learning to be a family. This takes time. Be realistic in your expectations and allow this journey to unfold.

Finally, savor these moments as a new mother. The new baby smell, the feel of your precious one in your arms as you rock him to sleep. You will be amazed at how quickly the time goes by. As I look at my handsome ten year old son (who is now almost as tall as me!) it seems like just a blink ago that he was that tiny bundle in my arms. Let the laundry wait and dance with your baby instead!

We hope you enjoy The Mama Time Workbook for New Mothers. We enjoy hearing from our mothers so please feel free to email any of our team with your thoughts or feedback. You will find further information about Mama Time and our Mama Time Team contact information in the last section of this workbook. We hope to meet you in person someday at one of our Mama Time retreats or workshops!

Warmly,

Tamara Grosz, Ph.D.,

Founder, Mama Time

Chapter 1.

Developing Your Mother’s Intuition

Tamara Grosz, Ph.D.

You must train your intuition. You must trust the small voice inside which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide

Ingrid Bergman

For the spiritual being, intuition is far more than a hunch. It is viewed as guidance or as God talking, and this inner insight is never taken lightly or ignored

Wayne Dyer

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift

Albert Einstein

The well-meaning and often unsolicited advice usually starts when friends and family first find out you are pregnant! It sometimes seems like everyone has an opinion on pregnancy and child rearing/ parenting and want to share their expert opinions with you. Most friends and family members are excited about your new baby, care about you, and want to pass on their advice. This advice may be very valuable and meaningful to a first time mother but can sometimes also be confusing when the mother receives conflicting options or opinions. What make matters worse is that there are countless books on countless topics, all written by medical specialists who all seem to profess a different way to parent. Too often in our quest for scientific evidence, mothers undervalue or worse ignore their feelings and miss an opportunity to recognize the mother wisdom they have within them.

While this book will share numerous ideas, strategies, and yes even research based techniques for mothers and babies, they will be presented with the acknowledgement that you have the answers within you. It is your mother’s intuition, that inner sense of knowing and intangible gut instinct that will intuitively guide your mothering decisions. This sense of intuition can almost have a visceral feel to it when it is deeply experienced. Many mothers’ experience it from the moment they feel their new baby move for the first time. Others need to reconnect with themselves and be quiet to hear that inner voice emerge.

This chapter will highlight four strategies to recognize and honor this intuition and to use it in combination with knowledge and research to make intuitive-based mothering choices that reflect your personal values and goals for your children and family. It will also utilize reflective journal writing exercises for you to explore each topic more fully on a personal level. These four strategies are as follows:

• Learning to Journal

• Identifying and Examining Your Core Values

• Developing a Personal and Family Mission Statement

• Identifying and Consulting Your Mama Mentors

This chapter will also address:

• Responding to Your Child’s Unique Needs

• Recognizing when it is NOT mother’s intuition

Finally, this chapter will provide an intuitive based-framework for approaching subsequent chapters in this book.

It is important to note that the concepts and exercises presented in this chapter have not been empirically validated by extensive research studies and are based entirely upon my clinical experience with mothers from around the country and on my own experiences as a mother and psychologist. I believe that despite this lack of scientific research, you, like the other mothers I have worked with, will find these approaches helpful!

Surprisingly, there have been very few scientific studies about mother’s intuition. The most well known unpublished study was conducted by Dr. Victor Shamas, a research psychologist at the University of Arizona, in 1998. Dr. Shamas, the author of The Way of Play (2011) and his colleague Amanda Dawson followed 100 expectant mothers at the Birth and Women’s Health Center in Tucson, Arizona for two years to see if pregnant woman could use their mother’s intuition to predict the sex of their new babies. 70% of the mothers in the study were successful in predicting their children’s sex based on their reported intuition alone. Interestingly, those mothers who reported a sex preference were not accurate in their predictions.

In another unpublished study on intuition, Dr. Shamas found that 3/4th of the college students he studied believed that their mothers, and not their fathers, had a unique ability to read their thoughts and feelings. Clearly, there is something to this thing called mother’s intuition! Let’s move on to the steps!

Step One: Intuitive-based Journal Writing

Participants in my Mama Time workshops always ask me why I tell them to journal. It seems like such work! At first, journal writing may seem like work, especially if you have never written in a journal before. I can assure you that this will quickly change and become a process you will savor and look forward to. Trust the process and give it a try for a month and see what you discover.

While in a traditional journal or diary you might chronicle day to day events and memories-intuitive reflective journaling can help you clarify, identify, and express feelings and thoughts in a personal private way with yourself. In the future, you may then choose to share your journal with a close supportive friend, significant other or family member but for the first month reserve its use to tap into your mother’s intuition and inner wisdom.

How do I Journal?

There are really no right or wrong ways to journal! Some mothers just like to write. Remember spelling and grammar doesn’t count. This is not a research paper and it will not be graded! Other mothers like to incorporate drawings. Still other mothers like to write in an old fashioned hard copy journal utilizing a special pen (sort of like the little locked diaries many of us had as little girls) while others may utilize the journal writing exercises that are suggested in each of the chapters of this Mama Time book. You may also decide to use a computerized journal. You can add photos, video clips, and even music to convey feelings you may want to explore or convey. The key is to do what feels right for you at the time. Don’t be confined to any one format. If you decide to switch now and then-have fun with the process!

Preparing for the Intuitive-based Journal Experience

Preparing for the journal experience is important! Try to carve out some Mama Time for yourself. Ideally, this should be uninterrupted time. For me, this means getting up before my husband and children get up and the day becomes busy and active. I savor my quiet time before the sun comes up! You may prefer some late time after everyone else goes to sleep or you may need to hire a babysitter now and then to have your Mama Time. For some mothers, a Mama Time day or weekend retreat a few times a year is the only way they will realistically have time to journal. These mothers think of their retreats as a Mama Sabbatical which allows them time to reflect, prioritize, dream and recharge without the daily demands of mothering.

Do what is realistic in your life but believe that you deserve this time. Your family deserves a mother who addresses and takes care of her own needs. When you take care of yourself you are able to be more fully present for your family (More on this essential topic in Chapter 7 on Self-care). It is almost impossible to listen to the inner wisdom within you with the clatter of everyday life continuously bombarding you with everyday stress. This Mama Time allows you to be the best mother you can be-it is not a selfish act but rather a preventive essential! When you take time out for yourself you are also modeling the importance of self-care for your children and your family.

Identify and Prepare Your Journal Location

Once you have identified your time to journal you need to then identify and prepare your journal space. Environment is important! Some mothers love candles with aromatherapy and soft classical music while others prefer some jazz or soft rock. It doesn’t really matter what you decide upon but you consider creating a simple routine for yourself. For my early morning journal writing, I have learned to keep it very simple. I just need a comfy sofa or chair and a good cup of Kona coffee or herbal green tea and I am ready to go! No music to wake up those children-thank you very much-this is my Mama Time!

As silly as it may sound, making my pot of Kona each morning is incredibly soothing and sets the tone for my journal writing and my subsequent day. Even though I never leave my kitchen, as I prepare my coffee I smell the rich aroma of Kona and am transported to a favorite beach of mine on the windward side of Oahu. In my mind’s eye, I can see those lush mountains touching the pristine turquoise ocean as the sun softly rises from a sliver of pink and lavender to a blazing burst of orange across the brilliant Hawaiian sky. I love my morning ritual and it is an essential part of my journal writing Mama Time and my way of connecting with my intuition. It is my vacation in a cup!

Whenever you can, try to also find some time to journal outside. This may be as simple as sitting on your front porch, hammock, rocking chair or balcony if you have one. When you journal outside, the additional sites and sounds can contribute to your sense of relaxation and facilitate your creative process further. If you are not lucky enough to live in a location that has easy access to the outdoors then consider scheduling some time for yourself in a local park or garden. This may be difficult during the first year with your baby so another alternative is for you to put your little one in a stroller during nap time and visit those pretty locations while your baby sleeps. This way both you and your baby will get the benefit of the cool fresh breeze!

If going somewhere is really impossible on a regular basis you can do what I did with my cup of Kona and visualize your ideal