This episode title comes from an article I read about a wife who wants to divorce her husband because of dirty dishes.
Her issue is not that he leaves used drinking glasses by the sink, but how this behavior makes her feel like he doesn’t respect or appreciate her. While her husband has many excuses for why he leaves glasses by the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher (“I may want to use it again,” “I don’t care if a glass is sitting by the sink unless guests are coming over,” and that he will “never care about a glass sitting by the sink. Ever. It’s impossible”), the problem is that this man (and most people) don’t know that when issues like this arise, it’s not really about the glass at all—she wasn’t fighting about a glass, she was fighting for acknowledgment, respect, validation, and his love.
As you’ll hear in this show, when you are in a relationship, you can either view doing things that enhance your partner’s life as a pleasurable thing to do, as things that bring you closer together, or you can view them as a chore you have to do. Other relationship tips shared in this episode include advice about arguing (most couples waste time arguing about things that will never change) and why examining your personality attributes and behavioral dispositions that are harder to change can help improve the health of your relationship.
At the end of the day, you don’t have to understand WHY someone cares so much about a stupid glass—you just have to understand and respect that they do care about it.
 
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