Navigating the Parent-Child Attachment with Dr. Tanya Cotler

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Navigating Marriage and Divorce With Kate Anthony: Join Dr. Tracy and guest Kate Anthony, author and host of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, as she shares her expertise on the pivotal decision many women grapple with: "Should I stay or should I go?" Having personally navigated an emotionally abusive marriage, Kate understands better than anybody the importance of creating a safe, supportive environment for children caught in the crossfire, the power toxicity holds, and why divorce doesn't ultimately screw up our children. She discusses the disproportionate emotional and domestic labor women often shoulder in heterosexual relationships and why women are left exhausted by the time they reach their breaking point. Kate also encourages women to reconnect with themselves in order to make empowered decisions moving forward in their lives. Tune in for a conversation filled with essential perspectives on nurturing healthier relationships and personal well-bein by I'm Not Your Shrink

51 min listen

Mini Session 1: Navigating Defensiveness in Relationships with Matthew Frey: In this session, Dr. Tracy and Matthew Frey discuss a crucial issue that affects many relationships: defensiveness. They explore how defensiveness not only creates barriers but also diminishes and invalidates your partner's feelings. Matthew shares a personal revelation from his own life, noting how his failure to validate his wife's experiences contributed significantly to the deterioration of their marriage. He emphasizes that understanding doesn't require agreement but rather a mindful consideration of another's perspective. by I'm Not Your Shrink

7 min listen

Truth, Trauma and Transformation with Dr. Frank Anderson: Dr. Tracy welcomes Dr. Frank Anderson, a renowned trauma expert and author to discuss the profound impact of trauma on personal development and well-being, as well as insights from his latest book, "To Be Loved: A Memoir of Truth, Trauma and Transformation," exploring the journey towards healing and forgiveness. The two kick things off by highlighting the importance of therapists sharing their vulnerabilities and human-ness to bridge the gap between them and their clients. Frank delves into how trauma is really just absorbed energy from our experiences with others and why that energy doesn't actually "belong" to us. They also touch on the power of forgiveness in healing trauma, emphasizing that it allows us to let go of negative emotions and see the humanity in others, including ourselves. This episode is a deep dive into understanding trauma’s role in shaping our lives and how embracing our true selves through healing can lead by I'm Not Your Shrink

47 min listen

From Conflict to Connection with Greg Stewart: Dr. Tracy and her favourite co-host/hubby, Greg, are back and here to tackle one of the most common issues couples face in relationships: why bringing up one problem with a partner often leads to a flood of additional grievances. They discuss why this might happen, identify defense mechanisms and avoidance strategies, and emphasize the importance of understanding and communication in relationships. They introduce the metaphor of a "bridge" between partners and the importance of integrating regular relationship "check-ins" as crucial for maintaining connection and preventing relationship explosions. They also address some listener questions, offering insights into managing different parenting styles and in-law tensions and stressing the importance of empathy, patience, and individual growth in a relationship. Tune in solo or listen with your partner for the wisdom you didn't even know you needed! by I'm Not Your Shrink

47 min listen

The Courage to Choose Yourself with Julie Chavez: Julie opens up about her journey from prioritizing everyone else's needs to understanding the crucial importance of self-care, a lesson learned through her own struggles with anxiety and depression. Together, Julie and Dr. Tracy dive into the transformative power of therapy, the discipline and "work" required to maintain our mental health, and how changing her own patterns impacted her marriage and family dynamics. Tune in, and discover why your joy is worth your time. by I'm Not Your Shrink

58 min listen

Body Memories and Intergenerational Healing with Dr. Tanya Cotler: Dr. Tracy kicks off the episode by sharing a recent personal experience of a body memory—a sudden, unexplained emotional outburst she later linked to her childhood. This episode dives deep into the concept of body memories—emotions stored physically that our brains may not recall cognitively—and the importance of addressing intergenerational trauma. They discuss how modern parenting is shifting towards acknowledging and processing these traumas to prevent passing them on to the next generation. The conversation also explores the nervous system's role in safety and emotional responses, mindfulness practices, attachment theory, the influence of social media on our understanding of attachment styles, and so much more. You don’t want to miss this one! by I'm Not Your Shrink

56 min listen

Why Love Isn’t Enough with Matthew Hussey: In this insightful conversation, Dr. Tracy and Matthew Hussey, renowned love and relationship expert, explore the very real challenges of finding the right person in today’s society. Before diving into the advice and strategies, the two share a candid connection about the ironic struggle they face as "experts" in their field, when really, they are just humans navigating the same love-life struggles as everyone else. Matthew then shares the details of his new book and breaks down the four critical levels of a relationship that we should value: admiration, mutual attraction, commitment, and compatibility, discussing how each plays a vital role in the journey towards a lasting connection. They also touch on the unrealistic way love is portrayed in the media, the negative role familiarity can play when it comes to our relationships and why so many of us repeat the same patterns when it comes to love. This episode aims to guide listeners through th by I'm Not Your Shrink

44 min listen

Understanding Grief Beyond the Surface with Megan Riordan Jarvis: In today's episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with grief therapist Meghan Riordan Jarvis to unpack the nuanced experiences of grief and loss beyond what we often associate with obvious tragedies, like the death of a loved one. They discuss how grief can sneak into our everyday lives, often unrecognized, and explore the importance of tuning into our bodies and managing our nervous system's response to grief. Meghan, drawing on both her professional expertise and personal experiences of loss, offers insights into the physical and emotional impacts of grief, strategies for coping with the body's fight or flight response, and the significance of processing grief to avoid long-term trauma. Hopefully, this episode offers a deeper understanding of grief's complex nature and provides listeners with the tools necessary to navigate their own experiences of loss. by I'm Not Your Shrink

58 min listen

A Couple's Guide to Raising a Highly Sensitive Child Together with Greg Stewart: Dr. Tracy and her favourite co-host and hubby, Greg, dive deep into the heart of what it means to parent as a team, especially when faced with the unique challenges of raising a highly sensitive child (HSC). Through their personal stories and recent parenting experiences, they offer a candid look at the complexities and joys of navigating life with an HSC. They discuss the critical role of teamwork in understanding and supporting their child's intense emotions, while also reflecting on their own unique sensitivities and approaches to parenting. This conversation sheds light on the strategies that have been helpful for them, highlighting the importance of empathy, depersonalization, patience, and maintaining a united front. Dr. Tracy and Greg aim to not only share wisdom for parenting HSCs but also a message of hope and solidarity for other families facing these beautifully complex parenting journeys. by I'm Not Your Shrink

50 min listen

Transforming Fear into Fulfillment with Heather Chauvin: This week, Dr. Tracy sits down with Heather Chauvin, a renowned leadership coach, TEDx speaker, podcast host, and author of "Dying to be a Good Mother." Together, they tackle the universal challenge of embracing discomfort and leaning into fear. Heather brings a wealth of experience from her own life, sharing how her battle with stage 4 cancer and the trials of motherhood propelled her towards a life of authenticity and courage. She emphasizes the significance of energetic time management, acknowledging fear in the body, and making conscious choices towards self-care and personal fulfillment. This conversation is a powerful reminder of the transformative potential of facing discomfort head-on, offering listeners actionable insights for living more aligned and purposeful lives. by I'm Not Your Shrink

53 min listen

ICYMI: Sleeping in Separate Beds with The Mom Room's Renee Reina: In honour of Sleep Awareness Week, we're revisiting the intriguing concept of "sleep divorce," a choice often misunderstood and stigmatized in society. Dr. Renee Reina, a Ph.D. in psychology and host of "The Mom Room," joins Dr. Tracy to debunk myths surrounding this phenomenon. Together, they explore how prioritizing sleep by choosing to sleep apart can actually nurture and strengthen relationships, contrary to the belief that it signifies a lack of love or intimacy. This discussion sheds light on the importance of addressing sleep needs openly and making mindful decisions to enhance both personal well-being and partnership dynamics. by I'm Not Your Shrink

51 min listen

The Roots of Codependency: Trauma, Love, and Self-Compassion with Anna Aslanian: In this week’s episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Anna Aslanian to dive into the complex world of co-dependency, self-sacrifice, and interdependence in relationships. Anna, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a rich background in psychological care, sheds light on the roots of co-dependent behaviour, often tracing back to early relationships and trauma. Together, they explore the nuances of trauma and debunk the negative connotations of co-dependency, advocating instead for an understanding of dependency as a means of seeking safety and connection. Anna offers practical advice for embracing authenticity and self-compassion, crucial steps towards cultivating healthier, more balanced relationships. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to find the delicate balance between caring for others and nurturing oneself. by I'm Not Your Shrink

50 min listen

Rewriting the Narrative of Success, Storytelling, and Self-Discovery with Zibby Owens: In this episode, she joins Dr. Tracy to explore her latest fiction work, "Blank: A Novel," reflecting on her multifaceted journey from writing her first article at 14, through her divorce, and into the literary world, emphasizing the therapeutic power of storytelling. Zibby shares insights into overcoming internal barriers and the importance of embracing the reality of life’s brevity to fearlessly pursue your passions. She also touches on the complexities of work-life balance, doing your best as a mother, the inspiration behind the name of her podcast, and the unique challenges of writing fiction. This episode is packed with wisdom and an inspiring message that it’s never too late to go for it. by I'm Not Your Shrink

36 min listen

Unpacking Envy with Elise Loehnen: Through her own personal story and insights from her book "On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good," Elise invites us to question why women are hard on themselves and each other. She explores the nuances of envy and jealousy, urging us to view these feelings as signals to our desires rather than sources of shame, and touches on the inherent fear women have about expressing anger. By encouraging women to embrace their ambitions and emotions authentically, Elise offers a pathway to a more fulfilling and self-aware life, challenging societal norms that restrict women's expressions and desires. by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

Relationship Check-Ins: Benefits, Challenges and Reality with Greg Stewart: Dr. Tracy, her favourite co-host, and husband Greg dive into the power of "relationship check-ins," sharing their personal experience as partners, parents, and business co-owners. They unpack the value and long-term benefits of these intentional discussions, with Greg shedding light on breaking down the barriers and debunking the stigma from a man’s perspective. Together, they guide us through setting up effective check-ins that don't include personalization and blame and how to focus on constructive feedback and celebrating successes. By weaving in their personal stories, they illustrate how consistent, open conversations can bridge gaps, enhance understanding, and solidify the connection between partners, making the relationship stronger and more fulfilling for both parties. by I'm Not Your Shrink

52 min listen

The Narcissist: Understanding, Unmasking, and Surviving with Dr. Jamie Zuckerman: Dr. Tracy welcomes Dr. Jamie Zuckerman, a renowned expert on narcissistic abuse, to explore the complexities of navigating relationships with narcissists. Dr. Zuckerman discusses the subtle yet damaging ways narcissistic relationships can erode one's sense of self and the challenges of recognizing and escaping these toxic dynamics. She highlights the common warning signs that you might be dealing with a narcissist, the textbook behaviour to be aware of, and the long-term impact of having a narcissistic parent, partner, family member, or even friend. Lastly, Dr. Zuckerman offers her wisdom on recovering from narcissistic abuse, emphasizing the need for setting boundaries, understanding the difference between narcissists and those who suffer from chronic defensiveness, and the process of healing and reclaiming one's life. by I'm Not Your Shrink

55 min listen

Parenting ‘Spicy’ Children with Mary Van Geffen: Mary shares her transformation from an overwhelmed mother to an empowering guide, discussing her journey of self-discovery and healing while raising a "spicy" one herself after coming from a long line of "spicy" children. She touches on the importance of understanding and connection over discipline and the necessity of self-care for parents. She then dispels common misconceptions about "spicy" children, highlighting where they shine as individuals. Lastly, Mary provides practical advice for parents on maintaining a united front as they navigate the complexities of parenting "spicy" ones. Whether you are a parent to a "spicy" child yourself or not, hopefully this episode serves as a reminder to give yourself some grace throughout your parenting journey. by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

Re-parenting & Breaking Cycles with Shelly Robinson: Dr. Tracy welcomes Shelly Robinson, a certified family wellness coach and conscious parenting educator. Together, they explore the intricacies of parenting, relationships, and self-connection. Shelly dives into the concept of re-parenting, the importance of attunement, and practical ways to foster meaningful connections with oneself, children, and partner. The conversation dives into Shelly's insights on inherited toxic behaviors, the significance of self-compassion, and the key to building deep connections within a family. Join them for a thoughtful discussion on breaking generational cycles and creating homes filled with compassion, calm, and joy. by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

Motherhood and Marriage Unfiltered with Nina Caviggola: Nina shares her journey, from postpartum anxiety to an ADHD diagnosis, and the ways motherhood has shaped the woman she is today for the better. Together, Dr. Tracy and Nina discuss the impact of online comparisons and the power of the “mute” feature on Instagram. Nina opens up about the struggles she’s currently facing in her marriage, and Dr. Tracy provides insightful guidance on how best to navigate these dynamics, especially when you work with your spouse, like they both do! Tune in for an authentic and empowering conversation on self-discovery and the ongoing journey of navigating motherhood and marriage. As a reminder, we don't get to go through life without struggling, and embracing our struggles is a powerful step towards resilience and personal growth. by I'm Not Your Shrink

50 min listen

Regulating Our Nervous System with Maria Victoria Albina: This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Maria Victoria Albina, a seasoned somatic life coach and family nurse practitioner. Together, they unravel the intricacies of our nervous system's impact on daily life, exploring topics like codependency, perfectionism, and self-sacrifice. Using the polyvagal theory, they dive into the connection between our nervous system and how we experience the world. The conversation touches on self-abandonment, the origins of shame, and the empowering journey of reclaiming personal agency. Sharing tools to practice self-compassion and mindfulness, the two provide valuable insights for a transformative new year. Tune in as they navigate the path to break free from old patterns and create a life centered on compassion and self-empowerment! by I'm Not Your Shrink

51 min listen

Breaking the 'New Year, New You' Cycle with Dr. Meagan Gallagher: Dr. Tracy is kicking off Season 5 with fellow clinical psychologist, colleague, and friend, Dr. Meagan Gallagher, to dive into the complexities that come with the new year. They address the societal pressures, especially the overused and abused "new year, new you" mantra, that often lead to comparison and anxiety. The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, rest, and acknowledging one's "enoughness." Dr. Tracy and Dr. Meagan challenge the damaging fitness and diet culture associated with resolutions and advocate for setting intentions aligned with personal needs. They also touch on insights about supporting partners in their goals and so much more. Join them for a refreshing perspective on approaching the new year with authenticity and self-compassion! by I'm Not Your Shrink

47 min listen

ICYMI: Why Is Conscious Parenting So Important? With Dr. Shefali: Dr. Tracy is resharing one of her favourite and most beloved conversations from this year with fellow psychologist Dr. Shefali to discuss what it means to build a healthy parent-child relationship. by I'm Not Your Shrink

42 min listen

Parting Ways with Self-Abandonment: In her final solo episode of the year, Dr. Tracy reflects on this incredible year of podcasting before diving into something she's personally struggled with and found the power of confronting: self-abandonment. Drawing from both personal experience and listener questions, she explores the signs, reasons, and consequences of self-abandonment in our relationships. The episode offers practical insights into setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and building a supportive community. Dr. Tracy candidly shares the challenges she's faced this year with the creation and release of her new book, "I Didn't Sign Up for This," the ways it brought her self-abandoning tendencies to the light, the relationships she had to walk away from, the loneliness she felt, but the beautiful growth that came from finally choosing herself. Hopefully, this episode serves as a guide for staying true to yourself and living a full and authentic life! by I'm Not Your Shrink

52 min listen

Dear Dr. Tracy: Navigating Mother-in-Law Waters: Dr. Tracy and her husband Greg embark on the first official "Dear Dr. Tracy" episode, tackling a fitting and timely listener question about navigating family dynamics. With a primary focus on mother-in-law relationships, they delve into topics like addressing defensive reactions, handling guilt trips, and initiating difficult conversations. Throughout the conversation, this dynamic duo highlights the importance of setting boundaries, practicing effective communication, and initiating generational change within one's own family. With a blend of personal experiences and professional advice, this episode sets the stage for honest and insightful discussions on family dynamics during the holiday season and beyond. by I'm Not Your Shrink

42 min listen

The Gift of Boundaries with Dr. Terri Cole: In today’s episode, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Terri Cole, a licensed psychotherapist and renowned relationship expert, to unravel the intricacies of setting and maintaining boundaries. Dr. Terri, the author of "Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free," shares her personal journey from being a "boundary disaster" to a boundary advocate. The conversation delves into the confusion surrounding boundaries, the concept of high-functioning codependency, and the challenges of setting boundaries with family. The two also discuss navigating guilt, standing firm in decisions, and the empowering choice to stop people pleasing and prioritize what you really want over obligations during the holiday season. Lastly, Dr. Terri leaves listeners with valuable insights on handling boundary challenges with family members and why it's perfectly okay to set them during the holidays and beyond. by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

How to Talk to Kids about Anything with Dr. Robyn Silverman: Dr. Robyn, a child and teen development specialist and host of the "How to Talk to Kids About Anything" podcast, just released a new book with the same title and is here to share all of her wisdom. Reflecting on her personal experiences, Dr. Robyn emphasizes the crucial role parents play in initiating important conversations with their children, covering topics like bullying and self-esteem. The discussion explores challenges in addressing body image, the identity feedback loop, and practical advice for fostering self-esteem. Dr. Robyn provides valuable guidance on creating a safe space for children, recognizing self-esteem struggles, and dealing with external influences. This episode is a powerful resource for parents, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and openness in the parent-child relationship at any age. by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

Enneagram and Marriage with Christa Hardin: This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Christa Hardin, host of the Enneagram and Marriage podcast, author, and founder of Reflections Counselling Centre, to explore the Enneagram assessment as a tool for building stronger connections in our partnerships. She shares her own personal experience with the Enneagram, the positive impact it’s had on her marriage, and the several benefits of this assessment when it comes to couples seeking to strengthen their relationships and better themselves. Christa takes us through the nine enneagram types, the concept of wings, the three conflict triads, and emphasizes the significance of self-care in maintaining healthy relationships. She also provides guidance on approaching relationships with compassion, focusing on individual self-improvement, and embracing each other's strengths and imperfections. It’s such an eye-opening discussion that goes beyond partnerships and into gaining a better understanding by I'm Not Your Shrink

46 min listen

Invisible Scars with Jessalynn Biederstadt: As a victim and survivor of the Willow River, child sexual assault pornography case in 1999, Jessalynn has shown immense strength in her healing journey and is opening up and sharing the very real ups and downs of that process with us today. From the incredible work she’s doing with her podcast and the platform she’s giving to other victims of trauma to the messy and inconvenient aspects of the healing process and a very realistic look into what it’s like to “do the work” as a mother and partner, we’re so grateful to have her on to share with us today, and we hope this episode is a reminder that there is no right way or time to heal; you're already doing better than you think you are. by I'm Not Your Shrink

43 min listen

Decoding Personalization with the Shrink Chicks: For the main event, the conversation dives into the roots of personalization and why some of us are quick to take the blame for other people's feelings or behaviour. From childhood experiences and parental dynamics to how personalization can manifest in our various adult relationships, the trio provides valuable insight and guidance on how to navigate, find empathy, set boundaries, and respond instead of reacting in triggering situations with the people closest to us. Ultimately, this episode emphasizes the power of personal agency and how to honor your authentic self in adult relationships, just in time for the holidays. by I'm Not Your Shrink

52 min listen

The Power of Emotional Awareness with Dr. Cindy Hovington: The episode dives into the essential topic of emotion regulation with the guest of honour, Dr. Cindy Hovington, a mom of three with a doctorate in neuroscience, podcast host, founder of Curious Neuron, and the Wondergrade app. Together, they explore the shift from impulsive reactions to deliberate responses in parenting, highlighting the formative role of past experiences in shaping our emotional reactions as parents and individuals. The conversation touches on the importance of giving children the space to express their anger in a safe way and the invaluable practice of modeling emotional awareness as parents. Additionally, the episode underscores the significance of identifying emotional regulation zones and addresses the sensitive issue of physical abuse in parenting. Dr. Cindy's profound insights offer invaluable guidance to parents navigating the intricate landscape of emotions, both at home and beyond. by I'm Not Your Shrink

51 min listen

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Navigating the Parent-Child Attachment with Dr. Tanya Cotler

Navigating the Parent-Child Attachment with Dr. Tanya Cotler

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