Where Did All My Friends Go? A Simple Guide to Finding Your People (Steal This!)

Trailer: Mel Robbins has spent the last 10 years helping millions of people change their lives. In The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel shares the relatable stories and science-backed tools she’s built her career around to inspire, motivate, and empower you to create a better life. Starting October 6th, Mel is here for you twice a week with new episodes every Monday and Thursday. by The Mel Robbins Podcast

2 min listen

Why Am I So Triggered? 3 Steps to Control Your Emotions & Rewire Your Response to Stress: Today’s conversation is required listening for everyone. We are going to blow the lid off of emotional triggers. Let’s get to the bottom of why you and I react the way we do, and more importantly, learn simple ways to take control of our emotions. It doesn’t matter where you live, how you grew up, or even if you’re a freakin’ saint to everyone else, I know you have something that triggers you. You have days just like I do when something sets you off and you either snap like a firecracker or withdraw like a turtle in a shell. And just like me, you say and do things you later regret. I’ll go first: I’m trying hard to work on the nasty tone of voice I use with Chris and our kids when I feel frustrated or confronted. And it doesn’t end there. If you’re like me, you beat yourself up for getting triggered, and you now start feeling bad and regret what you did (or the fact that you did nothing). by The Mel Robbins Podcast

52 min listen

Train Your Mind: How & Why the Science of Synchronicity Can Improve Your Life: Have you ever had such a powerful coincidence happen in your life that you think… This must be a sign. The person sitting next to you at an event turns out to be part of the team you’re interviewing with next week. There is a hummingbird outside your apartment window on move-in day, and your grandmother always said she’d come back as one. You’re sitting in your favorite coffee shop, thinking of someone you haven’t seen in a long time, and right at that moment, they text you. You can’t explain how these things happen, but when they do, they give you goosebumps and make you feel just a little bit more confident and less alone. I personally love it when this happens. And I’m always on the lookout for signs that my life is moving in the right direction. Well, what if I told you that you can create more moments like this? That’s what we’re talking about today. These moments have a name: they’re called “s by The Mel Robbins Podcast

53 min listen

How to Let Go: 2 Simple Ways to Find Clarity & Move On: How do you know if the thing you’re holding on to is something you should keep fighting for or if it’s time to let go? Phenomenal question. I’ve got the answer. The truth is, most of us never let go. You spend a lot of time adding things into your life – new projects, new relationships, new stuff – but when was the last time you *subtracted* something? I’m talking about all the things you hang on to, even when they’re no longer serving you or helping you grow. The stuff that you know is weighing you down and sucking your energy dry, but you can’t seem to drop it. I’ve got the solution for you. I’m about to walk you – literally – through a strategy that nobody talks about. It will help you let go of what’s a pain or a drain in your life. Are you staying in a job you hate? Do you keep hanging out with that friend who brings you down? Holding on to those too-small pants because you’re hoping to one day fit in by The Mel Robbins Podcast

48 min listen

3 Simple Steps to Change Your Life: You can change your life. Period. My mission in this episode is to remind you of who you are and help you tap into the power inside of you. I want you to see something bigger for your life this year. I want to empower you with 3 simple steps you can take to make that vision a reality. In this episode, you will learn the 3 steps I used to reinvent every aspect of my life over the past two years. I strengthened my relationships, changed my business, improved my mental health, and heck, I even changed where I lived (after 26 years)! I will walk you, step by step, through the story and the process. I will share how I went from feeling stuck, lost, and overwhelmed two years ago to where I am today: happier than I’ve been in a long time, making big things happen, and having a ball. If I can do it, you can do it. I’ll walk you through what I did and how I did it. By the end of the episode, you’ll not only feel motivated to improve your life, bu by The Mel Robbins Podcast

53 min listen

5 Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist & How to Protect Yourself: Narcissism is on the rise and you need to learn how to spot it in other people and have tools to protect yourself. We all know those people who constantly turn a conversation toward themselves, who only call you when they want something, and who have a way of making everything someone else’s fault. Well, guess what? Turns out narcissism goes far beyond that. I’m telling you right now, even if you THINK you know what a narcissist is, you need to listen. I thought I knew, yet I’m still reeling from all my breakthrough moments. Do you have a narcissist in your life? Maybe you grew up with one. Maybe you work with one. Maybe you married one. Maybe you don’t know what the hell a narcissist is! Pull up a seat at the table with me because class is IN session. Narcissism is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, so how do you know if you’re *really* dealing with a narcissist? You have been blowing up my e by The Mel Robbins Podcast

68 min listen

Steal This From My Therapist: 2 Steps to Flip a Bad Day Into an Amazing One: You know those days when you just feel “off”? Well, last week, both my friend Amy and I were having bad days. Thankfully, I had just had an appointment with my amazing therapist that morning. So, as Amy and I started to talk about why we didn’t “feel like ourselves,” I got this crazy idea that maybe we should invite YOU to join us as the conversation started to unfold. We decided to turn on a recording device and unpack how we were feeling – on the fly. I need to say: I stole everything you’re about to hear from my therapist Anne, and you should steal it too. This is way more than just learning how to put on a happy face. These tools are truly transformational because they help you tap back into the incredible power within you. This is a very intimate and special episode that unfolds live. So I’m inviting you right now: pull up a seat at the kitchen table with Amy and me. Join us. Don’t just listen, b by The Mel Robbins Podcast

62 min listen

How to Improve Any Relationship: The 4 Attachment Styles You Need to Know & Tools to Become More Secure: What if you could show up in any relationship feeling secure, exactly as you are? You didn’t have to overthink every text you sent. You wouldn’t have to play the dating games. If somebody ghosted you, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Well I’m here to tell you today that you CAN be that person. Meet the phenomenal Dr. Marissa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of “Platonic” and expert on attachment theory. Today, we’re shining a light on your attachment style. What is an attachment style? Simple. It’s a framework backed by decades of research that will help you understand how you show up in relationships. There are 4 attachment styles, and whether you’re aware of it or not, you default to one of them. If you have a hard time setting boundaries with family members… If you keep dating the same kind of people… If you cling to relationships that hav by The Mel Robbins Podcast

62 min listen

3 Lessons From One of the Hardest Years of My Life: Have you ever had one of those years where life seems to punch you in the face? Where one thing after another knocks you down, over and over, until you start to feel like you are never getting back up. Well, that was this past year for me. People I trusted betrayed me. Plus, I was living 150 miles away from my husband and son, alone in Boston during the week for work. I never saw my friends because I was too busy working. I wasn’t exercising. I wasn’t taking care of myself in general. Honestly, I felt really lonely all the time. And looking back at pictures of myself from that time, it’s easy to see all of that in my face. I think we all know that the greatest lessons in life come from the most challenging things that you face. And while it’s true, it’s not easy when you are in the middle of it. This past year taught me 3 invaluable lessons, and today I’m sharing them with you. I know you’re going to nod along because y by The Mel Robbins Podcast

42 min listen

3 Things You Need to Accept About Other People: Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people. It took me years to understand these truths. It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?” I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people. You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your parents have become the older they get. Me too. I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my frustration: It’s not them, it’s me. I’m refusing to accept three things. These things are hard to accept, and they’re true. Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your relationships will be way easier. In addition to the three truths about oth by The Mel Robbins Podcast

51 min listen

Feel like giving up? Before you say F*** It, listen to this.: This is the pep talk you need. Change is hard. Which means you’re going to want to quit or give up. I call those moments F*** It Moments. Today’s episode is a little different because you’re going to hear me get in someone’s face who is about to throw in the towel on a big goal and a promise that she has made. When you hear me coach her, it will be like I’m coaching you. And once you’re done listening, I promise you won’t be saying F*** it, you’ll be saying F*** yes. Xo Mel PS: If you’re frustrated with somebody in your life who keeps calling it quits, let me do the honors and deliver the ass-kicking for you. For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:55: Why I started to cry when it came time to record this episode 6:22: The one stupid thing that sent me spiraling into anxiety 10:40: What Chris told me by The Mel Robbins Podcast

42 min listen

A Toolkit for Families: Practical Wisdom That Makes You Closer to the People You Love: I’ve got a very special invitation for you today. Grab a spot on the couch next to me and my family here in Southern Vermont. Join our family as our three kids discuss all the parenting mistakes Chris and I made – and the things we did that built trust and brought us all closer. I’m really excited and proud to share this with you, even though there are moments where my kids absolutely school me. They also share wisdom and insights that are so profound, you’ll hear Chris break down and cry. This really isn’t a conversation about parenting at all. It’s about how you create a close and meaningful connection with anyone. So whether you’re wondering how to get closer to your family or your friends, everything we discuss applies to all relationships. This episode goes deep – we cover drinking, drugs, addiction, and what to do when teenagers stop talking to you or someone you love is dating s by The Mel Robbins Podcast

66 min listen

Why Is Adult Friendship So Hard? 5 Lies You Tell Yourself & the Truth You Need to Hear: A survival guide to adult friendship: how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult. This is the topic you and everyone else are thinking about. From making new friends to staying connected to your old ones, to the thing that’s really hard: what do you do when your friendships start to fade? This is something I’ve been dying to talk to you about because I am right here, shoulder to shoulder with you, feeling lonely, left out, and wondering… Where did all my friends go? I know I’m not the only one because when I do see my friends or meet someone new, everyone is talking about how they never see their friends anymore. Let’s fix that. I spent a lot of time reflecting on the things that I’m doing that keep me from putting myself out there (which I know I need to do) and did extensive research on the topic. What I discovered is both comforting and emp by The Mel Robbins Podcast

61 min listen

2 Secrets to Handling a Narcissist: A Toolkit for Dealing With Toxic Behavior at Work, Dating, Marriage, and Family (With World-Renowned Dr. Ramani): How do I know if I’m in a relationship with a narcissist? Are certain personalities more drawn to narcissists? Can I heal if I was raised by a narcissist? How do I handle narcissists at work? Why do I keep attracting narcissists into my life? How can I keep a narcissist in my life… and not go crazy? And, most of all: What EXACTLY do I do to cope with narcissists? You have been flooding my inbox with questions since Dr. Ramani Durvasula, the world’s leading expert on narcissism, spoke about it on the podcast. You asked to bring her back and I’m listening: Dr. Ramani is here with answers to all of your questions. This episode is for you if you… Have no idea what narcissism is Were raised by a narcissist Are married to a narcissist Think you might be dating a narcissist Work with/for a narcissist Want to know the telltale red fl by The Mel Robbins Podcast

69 min listen

There Is Only One Thing You Should Do This Week: I know you’re busy. Which is why today’s message is the one thing you need to hear right now. I need this message too. We all do. Because there’s only one thing I want you to do this week: NOTHING. That’s right. I want you to do absolutely nothing. No, I’m not smoking anything funny when I say this. I’m dead serious. Hear me out. There is an art and a science to doing nothing, and we need to put it into our daily lives. All this constant doing is impacting your energy, your drive, your stamina, and your ability to be present, which in turn affects the decisions you make and your relationships. Look at it this way. What are you doing right now? Because I bet you’re scrolling through podcast episodes to listen to as you jump on your Peloton, drive to work, fold laundry, organize your desk, or whatever it is you do when you multitask. You and I live in a world that glorifies productivity and accomplishment. The busier by The Mel Robbins Podcast

37 min listen

The Secret to Stopping Fear & Anxiety (That Actually Works) by The Mel Robbins Podcast

53 min listen

The Truth About Anxiety and How To Heal It: Tools for Anxiety From a Neuroscientist MD: Everything you think about anxiety is wrong. Yes, we’re starting there. And yes, we’re going deep. I know that this episode will change your life. It has done the same for mine. It’s not a secret that I’ve struggled with anxiety for pretty much my whole life. I swear I came out of the womb in a full-blown panic attack, and I was just warming up for a life of worry on a very elite, professional level. I have been sharing my anxiety journey, and the tools that have helped me, for the past five years. And in this episode, things go deeper than they have ever have before. No exaggeration when I say that my takeaway from this interview today is so revolutionary, it’s forever changed the way I think about my anxiety and my relationship to it. Which is why it’s my honor to introduce you to Dr. Russell Kennedy, MD. I’m willing to bet that what you learn today you haven’t heard yet. Like by The Mel Robbins Podcast

93 min listen

Your Dreams Are Not a Joke: It’s Time to Dream Big Again & 3 Ways to Get Started: THIS is the pep talk you need to hear right now. I’m showing up with a level of intensity in a way you’ve never heard me before. We are talking about you and your big dreams. No matter what you're going through in life, your dreams are alive and well and they are waiting for you to wake up and turn toward them. If you’re not ready for some Mel Robbins inspirational firepower, bookmark this for another day. Because I’m not f’ing around today. If you’re done with feeling like you’re doing the same sh*t day in and day out… If you’re tired of your excuses… Or if you're like Barbara, who you will meet in this episode, and you have given up on your dreams because they haven’t materialized yet… This may be the most important 50 minutes of your life. There is a flame inside of you that is still flickering. Today, we are going to throw gasoline on and reignite that fire. You’re ready for this by The Mel Robbins Podcast

58 min listen

The “It” Factor: How to Hack Charisma & Use Body Language to Boost Your Influence, Income, and Impact: Buckle up and get ready to take notes because this episode is a masterclass. The tools you’re about to learn will help you become more confident, influential, and even make more money. Today, we’re talking about The “It” Factor. Some people just seem to have IT, right? When I think of The It Factor, people like Oprah, The Rock, Taylor Swift, the Dalai Lama, and Martin Luther King, Jr. come to mind. These people make you want to lean in, join in, and learn more. So today we’re asking… What is “It” that some people have that makes us automatically trust and like them? And, more importantly, how can you get it? Here to answer that question is Vanessa Van Edwards, a best-selling author, researcher, and founder of the behavior lab The Science of People. I cannot wait for you to dig into what she has researched. Turns out The It Factor has another name: charisma. And by The Mel Robbins Podcast

51 min listen

2 Ways to Take Your Power Back When You Feel Insecure: How do you find your power when life knocks you down? What do you do when you are in the middle of an emotional tsunami? How do you respond when the universe is testing you? This is the ultimate episode about resilience, confidence, and taking your power back. Yes, you can take control with simple tools whenever you feel that insecurity spiral kick in. You can pick yourself up, shake off the sh*t, and you can make it a win for you. In this episode, I take you into my life as my 22-year-old daughter gets news that sent her spiraling: her ex was now interested in one of her friends. This episode unfolds live, over the phone, in real-time, and it is about way more than dealing with heartbreak. This is for everyone, including you. This is about how you can make those moments of insecurity a win. It’s about finding your confidence when self-doubt comes in. It’s about getting your power back. And this is also ab by The Mel Robbins Podcast

54 min listen

Motivation Is Garbage: The biggest secret to getting the life you want is understanding 3 words I hope you never forget: Motivation. Is. Garbage. Right now, think about something you want to change or improve. I bet you know WHAT you want to change – and what you need to do. But the 100 million dollar question is: HOW? How do you get started? And how do you keep going even when you don’t feel like it? Look, if change was easy, we’d all have six-pack abs, a million dollars in the bank, and healed our trauma. And that’s where this episode comes in: I teach you the HOW. I cracked the code on motivation, and in the next hour, I’m sharing everything I know with you. You’ll learn the secret to breaking old habits, creating new ones, and how to hack what neuroscientists call “activation energy.” You’ll also learn one simple but incredible tool, that’s grounded in decades of research, and will change your life forever. This tool is a “cheat code” for motivation. It’s wo by The Mel Robbins Podcast

52 min listen

How to Have More Fun: A Guide to Enjoying the Holidays: I want you to get serious about inserting fun back into the holidays this year. It might seem odd to have an entire conversation about fun. But here’s why we have to: most of us aren’t having any. In fact, it’s gotten so bad that researchers have a term for it: “a fun drought.” You’re not alone – 97% of people want to have more fun. And wouldn’t it be fabulous if you had an absolute blast with your family this holiday season? It is possible. And you’re just the person to make it happen. On the topic of family, I find it interesting that most of the advice out there is focused on toxic family dynamics and boundaries. If your family is that toxic, the only thing you need to do is make other plans. You’re not required to spend time with them. But… if you are planning to spend time with family during the holidays, make this the year you bring the fun. Fun breaks up old dynamics, fun draws people out of their shells, and by The Mel Robbins Podcast

32 min listen

You’ll Never Be Truly Happy Until You Start Doing This: I was lying in bed one morning, and all of a sudden it hit me… If I ever want to be truly happy, I have to stop doing THIS. So do you. What is this thing we need to stop doing? I call it the “Campaign of Misery.” In the background of your mind, there’s a campaign of misery running on a loop. And until you stop it, you will never experience the happiness, joy and contentment you deserve. I promise you - it is there. In the background - talking to you all the time. This is the missing piece to true happiness. When you remove the campaign of misery, you create room for joy. I recorded this episode the same morning I had this profound insight. What you're about to hear is a conversation with me and two friends and colleagues, Amy and Jessie. Pull up a seat at the kitchen table; I want you to hear me unpacking this breakthrough about happiness in real time. My two friends saw their “campaign of misery” immediately and s by The Mel Robbins Podcast

53 min listen

Goal Setting Toolkit: Why Behavior Change Often Fails & How to Set the Right Goals for You: This episode will help you set the right goals for you. Goals matter. They make your life easier and they create a sense of purpose and meaning. But most people don’t set goals the right way, which is why they fail before they even start. That’s not going to be you. This episode is a comprehensive toolkit that will help you set the goals that inspire you and make you feel excited about the year ahead. And, it’s part of our month-long series covering the foundational research and topics related to creating a better life. Today, you’re not only going to learn the correct way to set goals according to research, you’re also going to identify 1-3 goals for yourself, and I’ll be doing the same thing right along with you. Have no idea what your goals are or where to even start? Don’t worry; you will by the end of the episode. You’ll apply the latest research every single step of the by The Mel Robbins Podcast

60 min listen

Mindset Reset Toolkit: How to Make Your Mind to Work for You (Using Simple Neuroscience): In this episode, you’ll learn how to use simple neuroscience to train your mind to start working for you. The research, tools, and strategies you’ll learn in this episode are from an experience I created and taught to more than 250,000 students called “Mindset Reset.” The fact is, your mindset is critical to your happiness, success, relationships, and fulfillment. Listen to today’s episode and you’ll learn how to train your mind using this easy, science-backed method. By the end of this episode, you’ll know how to use an amazing filter in your brain to reset your mindset. This episode is also packed with takeaways and insights you can apply to your life and one surprisingly fun “brain game” you can play every day (even with your kids) to actively program a more powerful mindset. I can’t wait to share this with you and for you to apply it to your life and share it with the people who ma by The Mel Robbins Podcast

60 min listen

The Ultimate Toolkit for Creating New Habits: The Science Made Easy: In this episode, you’re going to learn exactly what you need to form new habits. Even if you think you already know everything there is to know about habits, you probably still struggle to apply this knowledge and make change stick. And if this topic is brand new to you, don’t worry; I have a way of explaining it that’s fun, and so simple even a 5-month-old puppy can understand it. Just because it’s science doesn’t mean it has to be complicated and boring. When we make change fun and easy to understand, you’re more likely to be successful in applying all of this research. That’s why this episode also comes with a free companion workbook, so that you not only listen and learn, but also go deeper and apply what you’re learning to your own life. You can download that for free at melrobbins.com/habits. I’ll teach you the three critical parts of forming new habits, and together we’ll unpack the brain research by The Mel Robbins Podcast

71 min listen

Hacking Dopamine & Simple Ways to Improve Your Brain Health: I’ve lived with ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety for most of my life. And I’ve spent the last decade immersed in research around how to improve my mental health, but only recently did I realize there was a big missing piece to the puzzle when it came to being happier, more confident, and more present. That’s taking care of the brain. Your brain is your problem-solver. It’s your memory keeper. It’s a supercomputer. If the physical health of your brain sucks, it’s like having a beer belly with IBS for a brain. If you’re really committed to being a happier and healthier person, it's common sense to keep your brain happy and healthy. But… The science can be complicated and boring. More serotonin and dopamine would be great… but I zone out when I am looking at all the research. That’s why I asked one of the leading experts on brain health to be here today. Dr. Daniel Amen has 40 years of experience as a psychiatrist, 12 New Yor by The Mel Robbins Podcast

53 min listen

How to Manifest Anything You Want: 4 Simple Steps Backed by Neuroscience & Olympic Athletes: According to neuroscience research, there are four major mistakes you make when it comes to manifesting. Done correctly, manifesting is a mindset tool that elite athletes and the world’s most successful people use to perform at the highest levels and achieve remarkable goals. Today, I’ll reveal those mistakes and more importantly, teach you how to manifest the right way. This episode is all about the HOW. If you love takeaways and tools, you’ll eat this up. Today I’ll lay it all out for you, step by step. You’ll learn the 4 things you need to do every day if you’re serious about achieving your goals and dreams. So wherever you stand on the topic of manifesting, this episode is a masterclass in both the science and art of doing it. For all my cynics and skeptics, this isn’t what you think it is. This is tactical and based in research. And if you already love vision boards, you’ by The Mel Robbins Podcast

47 min listen

A Toolkit for Creating the Perfect Morning Routine: In this episode, we’re discussing morning routines. This episode is very tactical and covers 5 simple but essential components of a perfect morning routine. I’m really glad that you’re taking this topic seriously because every successful person you admire is serious about their mornings. I sure am. How you set up your day is typically how it ends up. I love my morning routine so much that I call it the Million Dollar Morning, because it makes me feel like a million bucks for the rest of my day – and it creates a level of discipline in my life that helps me make millions of dollars too. But let me be clear: I am not naturally a morning person. And if that’s been your excuse, my mission is to change your mind. If you already have a morning routine, listen to this episode to take it up a notch. Xo Mel Sign up today for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge so you can start your own Million Dollar Morning routine tomorrow. Once yo by The Mel Robbins Podcast

43 min listen

The One Science-Backed Habit You Need in 2023: I want this year to be the best year of your life. So we’re going to talk about the one habit that researchers say has the biggest, overall impact on the quality of your life. And that habit is learning to be kind and loving to yourself. We all know we need to learn how to love ourselves, but no one has taught you HOW. Until now. In this episode, I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your morning routine. I’ve got loads of research to prove why this habit matters and how it will change your life. And bring your Kleenex. Today I’m not only answering questions from some listeners about self-love, I also invited my husband, Chris, to come on and explain why he thought this habit was so stupid when I first shared it with him. The conversation took a turn that I was not expecting. It gets very personal and both Chris and I end up crying. He shares details about a period of his li by The Mel Robbins Podcast

53 min listen

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Where Did All My Friends Go? A Simple Guide to Finding Your People (Steal This!)

Where Did All My Friends Go? A Simple Guide to Finding Your People (Steal This!)

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