In this episode, we speak with Kim Hopkins, LICSW who’s a Collaborative & Proactive Solutions Trainer and Director of Outreach for Lives in the Balance. There she works with parents, educators, and providers to share the research that shows kids with concerning behaviors aren’t lacking motivation, they’re lacking skills, especially those related to flexibility, adaptability, emotion regulation, frustration tolerance, and problem-solving.    We talk about how we often mislabel our kids' motivations for bad behavior as something done for attention, when often, it’s a matter of our kids simply missing skills. Kim share some great examples of times when kids had meltdowns and/or extreme behaviors that were damaging their relationships at home and school, and simply using 3 steps in collaborative problem solving the situations were resolved quickly and the relationship between child, parents, and teachers remained intact.    Resources We Shared: Calm & Happy Parenting Time to get your kids to listen and help out more without the fighting!  This is your complete solution to shift the responsibility of "doing everything for everyone" to your family and to give you the kind of relationship you want with your kids and the entire family!   No Guilt Mom You Tube Channel Check us out and subscribe to be notified every time we have new videos added for parents and kids!   Lives in the Balance  A non-profit organization that helps parents, educators and caregivers gain the tools needed to help kids solve the problems that are causing their concerning behavior…without shame, blame, or conflict.   The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene   The best mom is a happy mom. To better take care of you, download our No Guilt Mom mindset here .  These reminders will help you second guess less, and feel more confidence every day in your parenting.   Visit No Guilt Mom   Rate & Review the No Guilt Mom Podcast on Apple here. We’d love to hear your thoughts on the podcast!