One of my favorite coaching tools that I developed working with newlyweds is the idea of Baseline Self Care.
This not your typical conversation about self care. This is not just about adding what you enjoy into your schedule. This is about understanding that you function on different levels--and the most critical is when you are functioning below BASELINE. 
You know the feeling after pulling an all-nighter? Like you absolutely know you shouldn't make any major decisions? That's called being below baseline.
It's so critical to know what your baseline is because you'll know
a) not to engage in trying to fix anything right now
b) not to evaluate yourself, your husband, or your relationship right now
c) not to take any of your thoughts seriously
Our goal is to get WAY ABOVE baseline--not to get *just* above it. But our response to being below baseline is like a Code Red. We drop everything, including our judgments, until we are back above baseline.
Take this work further with us inside of How to Glow, the online coaching membership for married Jewish women. kaylalevin.com/coaching
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