Conversation Tactics: The Right Way - Bundle - The Only 3 Books You Need to Master Conversational Tactics, Crucial Conversations and Conversational Intelligence Today

By Dean Mack

3 Manuscripts in 1 Book, Including: How to Start a Conversation, How to Talk to People and How to Ask Questions!

Book 1)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dean Mack
• Release date: May 12, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869374585

Book preview

Introduction

Communication is the key to achieving human connection. Without it, we would be blind to what the people in our lives are feeling and thinking, more so than we already are.

There are going to be many times in your life that you are in situations surrounded by strangers or require you to speak in front of large groups of people. This can be wildly nerve-racking, especially if you are not one that typically likes to start conversations or speak out loud.

Conversation is not just something we do, it is an art form! This means that all conversation is okay, but to make a sparkling, lasting impression, you must have just the right charisma for people to remember you. In this book, you will learn that there indeed are patterns that lead to bad conversations and what you can do to avoid them.

The following chapters will flow through the 7 seven basic steps of creating awesome conversations. Each chapter is broken down into detailed pieces to ensure that readers easily grasp the concepts of what flips bland conversations into glistening ones.

Are you ready to start dazzling conversations that people actually want to listen to? Are you ready to be heard for what you are worth instead of tuned out? Are you excited to have the ability to capture the minds of the people you want to draw attention to? Then what are you waiting for!

While there are plenty of books to aid those in speaking better and being better conversationalists, I want to thank you so much for choosing this one! Every effort was made to ensure it is full of as much useful information as possible, please enjoy!

Chapter 1 - The Reality of Conversation in the 21st Century

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of this book, how many of you un-friended people on social media because they said something offensive about touchy topics like religion, politics or healthcare? Heck, how many of you have done this to people who have different opinions than you on a subject as innocent as food? How many of you have that one person in your life that you do everything in your power to avoid, just because you have no desire to talk to them?

Back just a decade or so ago, it used to be that if we followed the rule from ‘My Fair Lady’ of sticking to subjects like the weather and health, we were okay during conversations. Now let’s fast-forward to the end of 2017 where the subjects of climate change and anti-vaccination are at an all-time high. Those topics are probably not the most ideal to hold a conversation with someone.

We live in a world now more than ever where even the simplest and most innocent of conversations has the potential to develop into a full-blown argument. Our politicians cannot bother to put their best foot forward to resolve issues. The most trivial of problems today have two strong sides, those fighting for it and against it. It’s pretty safe to say, this is not normal or how things should be!

We are more divided as a species than we have ever been in the history of the human race. We are less likely to compromise, which in turn means we do not do a good job at actually listening to what others have to say. We literally make decisions about where to live, who to marry, and who our friends are based on what we already believe. This is more proof that we are terrible listeners!

Conversations of any shape, size, or intensity require there to be a balance between listening and speaking. For most of us, we have lost this balance that is required for great conversations. A big part of this is due to the ever-changing technologically ruled world we live in today. We all have smart phones or other mobile devices in arms reach almost 24/7.

Did you know that 1/3 of teenagers in America send over 100 text messages a day? And the majority of this 1/3 is more likely to text their friends rather than call them or even talk to them face to face?

Conversational competence is perhaps the most overlooked skill in today’s world. We have opted to engage with other people through the assistance of technology, but we often fail to strive in the utilization or honing of our interpersonal communication skills.

With all of this being said, I ask you this: Is there any skill in the 21st century that is more important than being able to sustain a coherent and confident conversation? 

I will let you ponder over that question deeper as you make your way through the chapters in this book. The following chapters will help you discover how to listen and to speak in such a way that you will find yourself not only engaging in great conversations, but yearning to teach and interact with others on an entirely new level.

You have more than likely heard some of the basic advice on how to hone your skills when speaking with others. Some of these things might be:

Keeping eye contact

Thinking of intriguing topics to discuss

Nod and smile

Repeat what you heard

Etc.

While these have an ounce of truth to them, for the entirety of this book, I want you to erase that advice, because honestly, it doesn’t really work! These only teach you how to show you are paying attention, which is pointless if you are, in fact, not paying a lick of attention to what others are saying.

This book is not going to teach you just how to act like a good listener and speaker, but rather how to actually be one! This will require you to put yourself in the front seat of an interviewer mindset. You will learn how to have conversations that are not time wasters, that bust boredom, and without offending other people.

We have all experienced amazing conversations in our lifetime. These conversations make you feel inspired and engaged once it’s ended. They make you feel like you have made a real connection with the other people involved. And you typically feel wildly understood instead of being left misunderstood. That is the entire idea behind the following chapters, to help you create more positive and successful conversational experiences like these. 

Chapter 2 - The 10 Basic Rules of Amazing Conversations

This chapter will dive into some extremely basic and easy-to-implement rules that will help you become a better listener and an advanced conversationalist. Whether you utilize all or just one of these rules, you will find that you have better, more rounded conversations.

Avoid Multitasking

We are taught from an early age the benefits of multitasking. In reality, there is nothing great that comes from it. We lose focus, tend to mess up more, and in a conversation aspect, we are not fully engaged and tend to miss out on vital pieces of thing people are telling us.

What I mean by stop multitasking, I mean doing more than putting down your phone or tablet. I am talking about being fully present, being conscious of what is going on around you and what the other person is saying. During that moment of conversation, don’t let your mind wander to things that happened earlier that day, the things you have yet to accomplish on your to-do list, what you should make for supper, etc. Stop being only half engaged in conversations.

Don’t Pontificate

If you have a heated desire to state your opinion without opportunities for responses, arguments, pushback or growth, I recommended starting a blog. You need to enter every single conversation with the mindset that there is something to learn and take away from it. When we have our heads clouded by what we already believe to be true, you are setting yourself up for being constantly absent from engaging conversations.

To truly listen, you must be willing to set aside yourself, which means at times putting aside your personal opinions and beliefs. Doing this helps both sides of the conversation since the talker can sense this, which makes them more open to digging into the recesses of their mind and stating what is there. Everyone that you will ever meet knows something that you don’t. This mindset will lead you to experience great conversations.

Utilize Open-Ended Questions

Begin questions with one of these five components: who, what, where, why, or how. If you learn to use deeper, complicated questions, you will find that you receive simpler, more signifying answers.

For example, if I were to ask Were you terrified? you will likely respond to the most powerful word in that question, being terrified. Let those you are asking the question to describe their experience, for they are the ones that know how they felt and what they endured first hand. Ask them things like What was that like? or How did you feel? This forces the other person to pause and really think about their answer, which in turn means you will get a more thorough, though-through response.

Go With the Flow

This rule describes the natural, flowing movement of thoughts entering and exiting our minds. We do this all the time: we are intensely and consciously listening to what someone has to say, then all of a sudden we think of that one time we met someone famous at the local donut place. We stop listening and begin engaging in random thoughts that are not even prevalent. Stories and ideas are naturally going to come to you, but it’s about learning to let them come and letting them go.

It’s Okay If You Don’t Know

If you really don’t know something, just be honest and say you don’t. Learn that airing on the side of caution is precious in today’s world since talk is so darn cheap these days. Talk should be the exact opposite. It should bring and instill value in you and others’ lives.

Don’t Equate Your Experiences with That of Others

If someone is telling you about them losing a family member, do not interrupt them and begin spewing how you felt when there was a time you lost a loved one too. If someone is informing you issues in their workplace, don’t pop off and tell them your issues with your work. They are not the same as others and should not dare be compared. Every single experience people encounter is individual and should not be attempted to compare them.

We do this more frequently than we realize. When someone is talking about their negatives or positives, that moment is not about you. That moment is not to be used to show off your successes, to showcase how awesome you are, or how much you have endured. Conversations should not be viewed as promotional opportunities.

Avoid Repetition

Do your best to not overly repeat yourself. It comes off as condescending to others and in reality, is quite boring. This happens a lot in the workplace or even with