She’s Free

By Lori Harlan

She’s Free is the story of a Christian woman recovering from years of domestic violence. Written in the form of journal entries, it chronicles the first year of her recovery, laying bare her emotional and spiritual journey as she struggles to find her way back to her faith, her friends, and her family.
After hiding the abuse in an effort to remain the picture of perfection, a major traumatic event prompts her to work toward leaving the marriage and piecing together a new life where she can adjust to freedom.

About the Author
Lori Harlan is thirty-eight years old and has a strong background in psychology, child welfare, and counseling. Harlan has a bachelor’s degree from the University of Valley Forge and a master’s in professional counseling from Liberty University. She has triplets: identical boys and one girl. She loves poetry, writing, and spending time with her children. A Christian all her life, Harlan strongly believes that domestic violence is a topic more Christian women need to talk about and learn not only how to help each other but also how to be freed from it. She hopes this story raises awareness of things like domestic abuse, depression and the signs of abuse.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dorrance Publishing Company
• Release date: Mar 22, 2024
• ISBN: 9798888127513

Book preview

Introduction

We have never met, yet we may have a lot in common. My name is Lori. I’m thirty-eight years old. I have my bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Valley Forge and my master’s degree in professional counseling from Liberty University. I have been working in the mental health field for more than fifteen years in a variety of capacities, including working with children with autism and behavior disorders, being an advocate for parents with mental health conditions and addictions, and an investigator of child abuse and neglect for the state of Missouri.

I have been working in admissions in an inpatient mental health and drug and alcohol facility for the last eight years. I began as per diem staff in the admissions office and worked my way up to the director of admissions. All of that being said, I’m not an expert in any one thing related to human services. In my experience with victims of domestic abuse, a piece of the emotional work and healing has to happen before, during, and after divorce. I have chosen to focus on the aftermath and healing, finding faith.

This is a story about Liz. She’s a thirty-five-year-old woman who is doing the work of healing after leaving a relationship filled with terror and violence. Liz has a lot of work to do with healing and spends a lot of time focusing internally on how she came to this place emotionally and wondering if she will ever heal. She is going to tell you her story in her own unique way through her journaling, which is a therapeutic activity she’s learning. It takes time to gain closure and to build a new life once a relationship ends. Keep in mind that Liz is suffering from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder from experiences early on in life. Her journal is filled with expressions of deep depression and complex trauma. You will also see her trying out other methods of therapy such as artwork and poetry. These are expressions of healing and hope born from her stream of thought. 

My hope is that through Liz’s story about her healing journey, you will find the strength to keep going if you have been through a similar experience. If you know someone who is recently separated or coming out of a violent relationship, then my hope is that through Liz’s story you can see that healing is possible. She needs all the support she can get while she works through the roller coaster of emotions involved in building her new life. Even though she makes plenty of mistakes, she never gives up! Liz has goals of stability—financial, emotional, relational, and spiritual. She is a funny, sarcastic mess most of the time, but she’s determined to get her life back.

Chapter 1 – Ms. January

January 5th,

Dear Journal,

My therapist told me to start journaling and I have never had the time before to write any thoughts down. This feels really weird. I guess to start I should probably tell you about myself.

My name is Liz, I’m thirty-five years old. I left my husband last month and now I’m scared and alone. I never thought this would be my life. To tell the truth… I’m not even sure who I am anymore. Sometime during the past fifteen years, I lost myself. I feel like an empty shell of a woman. It’s like there is no light in my eyes anymore. I don’t know what to do with myself except be angry and feel guilty and alone. Other people have always described me as quiet, independent, plain, sarcastic, quirky. I had to grow up too quickly. I came from a poor family. I’m the oldest of six siblings who I practically raised since their birth. My parents were Christians, but they were gone all the time and never seemed to care about me or my siblings. I’m still the responsible and trustworthy person I was, only now I feel like I have to work so much harder to be myself.

When Kevin came into my life, I was only nineteen years old, and I was naive and overly happy to have someone show me so much attention. He quickly took over my life without me knowing that was happening was wrong. He would be with me every second of the day if I had allowed him. He would stop by and see me at my job. He would offer me rides and then come over after work. He helped me with my chores and stayed around the house as late as he could. He paid attention to everything I did and complimented me all the time. He told me I was beautiful and smart. He bragged about me to his family and told them I was the most important person in his life. On Tik-Tok I heard a man say that people with narcissistic personality disorder will love bomb at the start of a relationship. That is exactly what Kevin did to me.

Within three months, he was completely immersed in my life. He would buy me expensive things and take me to fancy places. Before I met Kevin, I had a lot of friends at work and at church. In just a short amount of time he had managed to find convincing reasons as to why I shouldn’t spend time with my friends. Friends I had been close to until the time Kevin came into my life. I managed to keep one to two friends in my life including best friend of all, my younger sister, Mercy. Mercy was my little righthand girl growing up. We did everything together. She’s still my best friend.

When we first were married, Kevin stayed the same. We had known each other for three months when he proposed, and we were married after dating for six months. We both knew it was going fast, but he was a few years older than me and had plans for the future that he had included me in. He wanted to start a family and go to college and build a home. He said he had a great job lined up and I wouldn’t need to work once he worked his way up in the company. We started out with very little. His parents paid for the wedding, and we bought a small older house that needed a lot of work. We were in love! Kevin and I went to church together and had couple friends. We loved to go bowling and eat out and have company over. It almost felt like we were playing house for a while there. 

It took about ten years of being happily married for things to start going downhill. For being married so young, we had made